Page 25 of Keeping Her Under (Deranged Highway, #1)

Twenty-Five

By the time I step into the ICU a few hours later, all I want to do is fall asleep beside Summer. I don’t even want to fuck her right now. I’m too exhausted after everything that happened after we kidnapped Lance.

Annoyingly, Asher really does have a gift with dogs, and he managed to calm them down before he broke them free. Then he led them to the car. Maybe they smelled Lance in the trunk, so they thought we were friends. Or maybe they realized Asher was the only thing standing between them and death.

Whatever it was, they hopped straight in. I drove though. Asher needed his hands free in case the two massive pit bulls decided to attack us.

The drive back to my car was more stressful than the entire kidnapping. I could practically feel their jaws closing over my neck as my hands were forced to stay on the wheel. Granted, I would’ve crashed the car to eject them through the windshield. But if they’d gotten their teeth into me first…

A shudder runs down my spine.

Then I freeze as a nurse comes running out of Ms. Reed’s room. Ryan triggered another code blue for me tonight – after I sent him that third pic of his mom.

My heart beats like a hummingbird’s wings.

Sweat builds on my palms.

If the runner looks around as she darts to the crash cart, there’s no way she’ll miss me.

Locking my legs, I fight the urge to run behind cover. Movement always grabs attention. But if I stand perfectly still, there’s a chance she doesn’t notice anything outside of her tunnel vision. All of her concentration is on the items she needs from the cart…

But if she takes too long, then I might still get caught.

Ms. Reed’s bodyguard is standing at the door, looking in.

But his training will have him looking around every few minutes.

He’ll see me. Come towards me. Get security to detain me.

He’s no doubt suspicious about his client crashing twice in two days.

My pulse screaming in my skull, I keep my eyes on the runner. As soon as she turns –

I dart through the ICU as she runs back into the room. Slipping into Summer’s unit, I shut the door behind me. I back away, into the darkness, my heart racing, my skull pounding.

I don’t know if the bodyguard saw me. I didn’t turn around to look. Standing in the middle of her room, I wait to see if anyone comes after me.

My throat runs dry.

My hairs dance on end.

The door –

Stays perfectly closed.

Breathing out slowly, I recollect myself.

Then I walk over to the chair with Summer’s belongings. Pulling out the cash I brought with me tonight –the same amount Lance stole from her– I place it in her wallet. Putting the bag on the floor, I slump into the chair. The adrenaline crashes out of my system.

With my eyes on my girl, I slowly fall asleep.

I wake up with my body aching like hell. I’m too damn old to be sleeping in a chair, but I don’t regret having spent the night here rather than at home in my queen-sized bed. I’m nearly fifty. Who knows how many nights I’ll have left with her? I need to make every moment count.

So I stand and stretch out what pain I can, then walk over to my future bride. Leaning down, I kiss her lips and murmur, “You’ll never have to fear Lance or his dogs again.”

Grabbing the bottom of her hospital gown, I drag it slowly up her thighs. I continue to kiss her as my hand reaches her beautiful pussy. With my eyes closed and my tongue dancing inside her mouth, I stroke her dark patch of curls with the tips of my fingers.

Last night, I made her wet, but I failed to make her come. I’m determined to succeed tonight.

Petting her perfect cunt, I recall the things I read about in her books.

I was never one for pleasuring the women I’ve been with.

I’ve always just drugged them and used them.

I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone getting pleasure from my pain.

I hated sex, and I hated them, and I got it over with as quickly as possible.

But with Summer, I want it to be different. I want her to take my virginity.

Mother’s boyfriends might have forced their way inside of me, but virginity cannot be taken. It can only be given.

That’s why you can’t test for it. Why not every woman bleeds her first time. Why the lack of a hymen doesn’t mean shit.

Because virginity is a concept of purity, and someone else’s sinful acts aren’t a representation of me.

They raped me. They took a part of me I never wanted to give, leaving behind a swirling black hole that sucked away my happiness and sanity and naivety of a good and caring world.

Their cocks made me feel dirty and disgusting and as far from innocent as one could be.

But that disgust is on them.

The dirt on me has rubbed off from them.

It isn’t mine. It’s not me.

I’m forty-seven, and I’ve never given myself to anyone.

I’ve never opened myself up and showed that vulnerability.

I have been with ten people since living on the streets, but they were never “people” to me.

They were just toys – always unconscious, always unable to touch me, never able to see me.

They were attempts to rub off the grime of Mother’s boyfriends – and every single one of them failed.

But with Summer, those memories are quiet. That muck is gone. It’s only me standing before her.

My heart quickens with uncertainty. I’m so afraid of her rejection. She’s so pure and perfect and sweet. What if she doesn’t love me back? What if she realizes that I’m a control freak? That I’m so fucking far beneath her?

My breath catches in my throat.

My lips still against hers.

Opening my eyes, I start to panic at how utterly unworthy I am of her.

But then I see her pretty brown eyes staring back at me.

My chest tightens.

I smile at her.

Hoping…

Hoping…

Her eyes close, and I sag forward in relief. She didn’t reject me.

She loves me.

Those three words echo inside my head. I crawl into bed with her. I need to be inside her, taking her body as she takes my soul.

Pulling my cock out of my pants, I line it up with her pussy and thrust in deep.

Her heart monitor picks up the sudden movement, reminding me that I have to take it slow.

Straining against my primitive need to slam into her hard and fast and raw, I tighten all of my muscles and concentrate on my breathing.

“I love you,” I rasp as I reach forward and grab her breasts with both hands. “I love you.” I fondle her nipples. I leak precum inside her. “I love you.”

Pulling out, I push back in. Slowly. Carefully. Until I’m balls deep. I lower my hand to her pussy as I recall the things I read about in her favorite dark romances.

My breath catching, I search for her clit. I swipe my thumb across it lightly. Once. Twice. Then I rub it lovingly. Sweat builds on my back as I fight off my urge to fuck her until I come. She will come first.

And if I fail again tonight, then I will try again tomorrow.

But she will come first.

All of her books emphasized that, and she likes them for a reason. I might not be educated in all the things she enjoys, but I will learn.

I will become the man she needs.

“I will protect you from anyone who wants to hurt you,” I rasp as I roll her nipple between the fingers of my left hand.

“I will provide for you so you’ll never have to think about food or bills again.

” I spit on her pussy and rub my saliva around her clit.

“I will buy you whatever you want, and if it doesn’t exist, I’ll make it.

” I tense my cock as I push down lightly on her lower belly.

One of her books said that would stimulate her G-spot, and when I googled what a G-spot was, I discovered it’s the female equivalent of the prostate.

Created from the same tissue, it can be located anywhere from the urethra to the bladder, and it can swell up to the size of a kidney bean, making most women instantly aroused.

I stroke myself inside her as I keep pressure on her belly, hoping I’m doing it right. It would help if I could see her, but turning on the light would be too risky. So I try to concentrate on the feel of her pussy. It should get wet pretty soon – unless she’s one of 10% who don’t have a G-spot.

That thought thrills me. The idea of having to work for her pleasure is fucking heady. Of being the only one who knows how to turn her on because she doesn’t come with a “cheat.”

My balls draw tight, and I shudder deep inside her. Clenching my teeth, I freeze until I beat my orgasm back.

Only then do I start moving again.

“I’m going to spend the rest of my life taking care of you. You will never want for anything. I will be there for you like your mom isn’t. I’ll worship you like your boyfriend never did.”

I stroke her pussy and fondle her breast. Then I lean down to kiss her. My balls draw tight again, and I struggle to control myself. Rasping against her lips, I shake on top of her.

The heart monitor picks up on my movement.

With a curse, I sit back up. Ryan and whoever else is out there will be monitoring her vitals from the nurses station.

If I disrupt her wires too much, someone will come in to check on her.

At the moment, they’ll brush any short irregularity off as her moving in her sleep.

They’ve started to wean her off the anesthetics.

Over the next few days, she’ll move more and more and even open her eyes from time to time.

Once they stop her medication completely, it could still take her days to wake up.

So I have a bit of wiggle room, but I don’t want to risk it.

Taking a deep breath, I pull out of her. My cock throbs. My orgasm is so damn close.

But I will please her first.

Shuffling down the bed, I bury my head between her thighs and fuck her with my tongue. My fingers push inside of her, curling like her books suggest. I lick and suck and hum.

But she never comes.

So neither do I.