Page 78 of Kane

Kane shakes his head.

Luke grabs him by the face and roughly jerks him. “Told you to fuckin’lookat me, goddammit.” Kane allows his head to be lifted; his whole body is rigid. “Seven years ago, I lost my daughter—”

“I’m sorry,” Kane growls, a feral, trapped sound, jerking his head away, down, turns away. “I’m so sorry. Luke, fuck—I’m sofuckingsorry.”

“Wasn’t done,” Luke snaps. One hand none-too-gently grabs a handful of Kane’s hair, yanking him back around, his other hand on his chin and jaw. “Look me in the eyes when I speak to you, son—know I fuckin’ taught you better’n that.”

“Stop calling me that,” Kane whispers, not fighting Luke’s hold. “Please—stop.”

“I’ll call you whatever the fuck I feel like.” He holds Kane’s eyes. “Now, you listen to me,son. Seven years ago, you got behind the wheel of my truck, drunk, with my daughter next to you. You got into a wreck, and my little girl died.” Kane tries to jerk his head away, but Luke keeps hold, roaring in Kane’s face. “LOOKAT ME, BOY!”

He lets go of Kane’s hair, grabs his shirt and shoves himhard, sending Kane’s massive frame backward several steps. “I didn’t just lose my daughter that day.” Luke follows as Kane stumbles backward, holding on, shaking Kane hard with each word. “I—lost—my—son!”

Kane rips himself free, turning away. Head ducked. Shoulders shaking. “I’msorry.” He whispers it again.

Luke stands behind Kane. His voice is quiet now. “Need to hear you say it, and I need you to look into my eyes when you do.”

With visible effort, chest heaving, Kane turns around. Chin lifts. Shoulders square. “I’m sorry, Luke.” His voice is weak and raspy; he clears it. Stronger, then: “I’m sorry I killed your daughter. I know you can’t forgive me and I ain’t askin’ you to. Fuck knows, I’ve spent every singlegoddamnday since that one hatin’ myself for what I did. But I’m sorry.” His voice drops then. “Wish to fuckin’godI could go back and be the one to die, not her.” His knees buckle. “Should’a been me.”

Luke, gently now, digs his fingers into the back of Kane’s head, thumbs on his cheekbones. “Kane—my boy.”

A thick, horrible silence.

“I forgive you.” Luke’s voice is strong and clear.

At that, Kane drops to his knees in front of Luke, clawing his hat off and hurling it aside, sunglasses clattering into the dirt. “Youcan’t.”

Luke puts his hands on Kane’s shoulders. “I forgive you.”

“YOU CAN’T!” Kane screams, a raw, awful, hoarse sound. He drops further, to his hands and knees in the dirt, head hanging, shoulders bucking as he silently sobs.

It takes everything I have to stay where I am.

Luke looks at me, face twisting in concern—I realize I am weeping silently.

“Should’a been me,” Kane says, his voice scraping.

“But it wasn’t. It was Della-Marie.” Luke crouches, resting his hands on Kane’s shoulders. “Della-Marie is dead, and yeah, it was your fault. And I—forgive—you. I forgave you a long fuckin’ time ago, son, and I been waitin’ all these years so I could tell you.” He puts his face next to Kane’s, forehead to Kane’s heaving shoulder. “You’ve carried the guilt long enough, son. Time to put it down.”

Kane levers back to sit on his heels. Tears stream freely down his face. “How?” He blinks, shaking his head. “How can you forgive me, Luke?”

“Not a church-goin’ man, but the Bible says love covers a multitude of sins. And I guess the Bible got that right, because that’s your answer: I love you. I spent a long time bein’ angry at you. Even hating you, for a while there. But not because of what you did—you were young, you were in pain, and you made a mistake. What I was angry about is that you fuckin’ ran off, and I ain’t raised no fuckin’ coward. I was angry because I losttwopeople that day, her andyou. Her to the grave and you to wherever the hell you’ve been.” He palms Kane’s neck. “My blood may not flow in your veins, boy, but I’m your daddy, no two ways about it. That piece of shit who sired you don’t mean a goddamn thing. Your life started the day you walked onto my ranch.Nothing’sgonna change that. Never will.”

Kane wipes at his face. “I couldn’t face you. Couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. Still can’t.”

“Yet here you are.”

Kane barks a laugh. “Yeah, and I wouldn’t be, if not for her.” He looks at me, then, finally, and his expression is so tumultuous and complicated I cannot begin to read it.

Luke reaches out to me, fingers curling in a command for me to join them. I obey on hesitant feet, moving to kneel in the dirt between Luke and Kane.

“You brought my boy back to me,” Luke says, his brown eyes on mine. “Have you to thank for this.”

“His hurt was too much,” I say. “I could not bear it. It was…” I shrug. “It was killing him.”

Kane finally turns his complex eyes to mine, his wet. “Anjalee, I….”

I tuck his long, loose, tangled blond hair behind his ear. “I know, Kane.”