Page 34 of Kane

“Look at me, babe.” I tilt her face to mine, giving her no choice. Even then, face turned up to mine, she squeezes her eyes shut. “Please, Anjalee. Look at me.”

Slowly, her eyes open. “What?” It’s hissed.

“You got nothin’ to be embarrassed about, honey.” I can’t help letting my thumb brush those lips. “It wasn’t a poor kiss.”

She yanks her chin down, eyes closed. “You are only being kind.”

“Told you, I ain’t as kind as you think. Fact is, I’m a bit of a selfish bastard, honestly.” I cup her jaw and bring her face up again. “I knew I shouldn’t have kissed you. You ain’t mine to kiss. You ain’t the kinda woman a man like me just…kisses, just because. You’re all class, high class, a real fuckin’ princess from big-time money, and I’m just…what you see. A cowboy and a soldier, and not much else.”

“An outlaw.”

“Yeah, that too. Nothin’ of what I am means I got any call puttin’ my hands on you, puttin’ my lips on you. I knew exactly what you’re runnin’ from—tradition, and family, and expectations. Maybe I didn’t know the shape of it, but I know damn well you ain’t for the likes of me.”

“The likes of you?”

“Yeah, the likes of me.”

“What do you mean, Kane? And please, do not ignore me or change the subject. I told you the truth. So, I want the truth from you as well.”

I sigh, clench my teeth, figuring I better give it to her straight while she’s ready to hear. “I’m a killer, Anjalee. I’m a fighter. I got some money saved, but I ain’t ever gonna be rich. Not to mention, I ain’t ever gonna be one of your kind of people. Obviously.”

“Meaning Indian.”

“Right.”

“It would not matter if you were. You would not be good enough for my father simply becausehedid not decide.”

“Exactly. I’ll never be good enough.”

“Forhim.”

I close my eyes, knowing I should give her the rest, but I just can’t. “For you.”

I feel her anger, and I open my eyes to see that now she’s angry at me. “Kane, I would not haveyou, of all people, think to make any decision for me. You, of all people, should know what I want most is to decide what is good and right and best for memyself.”

I let out a long breath. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Anjalee, you’re right.”

“So if I decide you are enough for me, then you will accept that?”

“We’re off topic.” I can’t tell her I’d never believe I’m good enough for her, because I never will be. “That kiss. It blew my fuckin’ mind, Anjalee. No, you never kissed anyone, and I knew it when I kissed you. I could feel it. And it was still the best kiss I ever fuckin’ had.”

“You are a very poor liar, Kane Sutherland.” She says this with a sarcastic laugh.

I laugh. “Told you I’d never lie to you, and I ain’t lyin’.”

She tilts her head a bit, finally looking at me. And now, she’sreallylooking at me. Looking into me. I swear, the deeper she looks into my eyes, the more the shadow in my soul retreats, trying to get away from the light that is her.

“If it was so good of a kiss for you, then…” She turns to face me, breathing deeply, slowly, controlling herself, but barely. “You would kiss me again.”

“Takin’ everything I fuckin’ gotnotto kiss you again, all fuckin’ day.”

Her hands touch my chest, rest on my shoulders. “I should like to kiss you again.”

I grit my jaw. “Babe.”

Her brow snaps down. “What have I told you about this ridiculous word of yours? I do not speak thisbabe.” She says itb-EH-b,in a lilting approximation of my drawl. “So, you must translate for me, since I do not know what you mean this time, with this usage of your special word.”

I huff, fighting laughter. I don’t imagine she’d like it if I laughed at her, in this particular scenario.