Page 44 of Kane

He shrugs. “Same as you, I figure.”

I look at his crotch, the bulging zipper. “You touched yourself, like it hurt.”

“Anjalee.” It’s a scold.

“What? I should like to know these things.”

“Babe.”

“Do not give me thisbabe, Kane Sutherland. I want to know.”

“Wanna know what?”

“Does it hurt? For you to be turned on and to not get an orgasm.”

He sighs. “It ain’t comfortable, no. It’ll pass. I’ll be fine.”

“Kane—”

His voice is soft as he cuts over me. “We’ll get there. Promise. Just trust me. For now, you ain’t ready for that. Not yet.” He sees me rise to protest. “No, I ain’t tryin’ to tell you what to do or how to feel or decidin’ anything for you. Don’t go gettin’ your back up, darlin’. You said one step at a time. So for now, please, just trust me.”

“I do not want you to hurt, is all. Especially when I could do something about it.”

He curls me close, his lips touching my temple, body shaking with silent laughter. “Fuck, you’re sweet.”

“I will trust you.” I relax against him.

“Good, honey.”

Silence.

Nearly asleep, I whisper to him. “Do you know, when you say to me honey and darling and these…I like it. Very much.”

I feel his smile against my face. “I know.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.” He sighs sleepily. “Your face…it does a…I dunno. A thing. Gets all soft, and sweet.”

More silence, both nearly asleep now.

Another thought occurs to me.

“Kane?”

Another silent shaking of laughter. “Jesus. Yeah, babe?”

“How is it, when I have known you for two days, that I feel so close to you? So connected? How can I be as sure as I am that I am safe with you? Why do I trust you so?”

“Hell if I know.”

“Do you feel it, as well as me?”

This silence is not sleepy. “Yes, Anjalee, I feel it.”

“Do you trust me?” I ask this in not quite a whisper.

A very long, very odd silence. “Don’t trust many people, honey. Never have. Never could…not anymore, at least.” More quiet, deep and thick and breathing. His thoughts whirl, so much I can feel them against my skin, against my spirit. “Fact is, I don’t trust anyone. But if I could? I’d trust you.”