Page 48 of Just my Puck (Love & Laughter #1)

JASON

T ears prick my eyes as I pull up to the curb a short way from Lucy’s apartment.

Leaning back on the headrest, I place a hand on my left shoulder and wince.

The pain is killing me. I took a slamming at practice last night, and I don’t actually know how I’m going to play hockey tonight.

The cortisone injection needs to work fast, and I hope it wasn’t a mistake telling Lucy, but I couldn’t lie to her and break her trust. I understand she is angry with me, and I’ll have to make it up to her.

Taking a breath, I roll my head, trying to ease the soreness. I don’t even know why I’m here. I feel tense, and I know I need to be honest with Lucy, or else I’ll lose her forever. I shouldn’t have told her, but I couldn’t help it—my feelings for her have grown too strong.

The blue sky peers down at me as I sit in the car, lost in my thoughts. The evening light washes everything in a cool, bluish hue. The street is empty, except for a few cars driving by and children playing in a park in the distance.

My heart sinks as the decision I’ve been putting off since I was first injured has loomed, and now I can’t ignore it any longer.

It’s time to retire. Tears roll down my cheeks as I cry silently for the career, the passion that I have for hockey is over.

Somehow, I need to play out this last season and make sure we end on a win.

I don’t care if I injure myself indefinitely doing it, I won’t let my team down.

Not now. I’m their Captain. They will always be my team, no matter what.

I just don’t know what I will do when I can’t play anymore, and I didn’t want to think about it before now.

Lucy appears at the curb, and I quickly wipe the tears from my eyes.

She raps on the tinted window lightly, her long brown hair drifting on the soft breeze.

She is beautiful, and this just makes everything much harder.

It feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest as I realize I have to tell her, but then it becomes so real.

Rolling the window down, I don’t say anything.

“Hey,” she says, looking straight into my eyes.

“Hey,” I reply, dropping my gaze.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“What for?”

“For shouting at you.”

“You didn’t shout.”

“That was me shouting.”

Chuckling, I meet her gaze. “You are too gorgeous, Lucy. I’m sorry for putting you in this position.”

“I get it. You can trust me, Jason, but you need to tell me now if this is more serious than you’re letting on.”

Contemplating the answer to that, I sigh. “It’s not great.”

She draws in a deep breath. “Please don’t do anything stupid, Jason. If you are in too much pain to play, don’t.”

“It’s not as simple as that, princess. Thank you for coming after me.”

“Always. I care about you too much to let you injure yourself even more.”

Sighing, I change my mind about telling her. I can’t do that yet. I need to wrap my head around it first, and sitting here, my shoulder is feeling better as the minutes tick by.

“I love you, Lucy,” I murmur, wishing I could hold her and kiss while I say these words.

She blinks, a small smile on her lips. “Big words, Storm. You sure about that?”

Letting out a soft laugh, I nod. “Never been more sure.”

“I can’t say them back yet, but I will, okay?” Her serious expression makes me fall even more in love with her.

“Whenever you’re ready, princess. No pressure. I have to go.”

“Jason...”

“I’m fine. Honestly, it’s all good. I’ll see you later.” Leaning over to kiss her, I feel a pang in my shoulder, but I ignore it. I’ve got to ignore it now and focus on the game ahead.

When she steps back, I set off again, knowing I’ve done the right thing in acknowledging that this could be my last season, but also coming to the decision that I won’t let this take me out now.

When I pull into the arena parking lot a few minutes later, I’m early by design.

Hurrying to the locker room, I change into my gear and sit to lace up my skates.

Grabbing my stick, I make my way out onto the ice and glide over to the far side, my eyes closed briefly as I let my body take over.

Opening them again, I start to warm up slowly, gently, and with plenty of time before the rest of the team arrives.

Ignoring the fans ambling in early, the chatter and noise that comes with crowds of people converging in one space, I feel my shoulder loosen up, and I relax.

I have to play as usual and not nurse it, or everyone will know the severe pain I’m in, and that can’t happen.

Not tonight, not until this season has been played out and won.

As I skate around, I feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins, helping to drown out the pain in my shoulder.

The ice is my sanctuary, my place of peace.

It’s where I feel most alive and present.

But tonight, it’s different. Tonight, this could be the last time I ever step onto the ice as a player if things go wrong.

The thought fills me with sadness, and half of me wonders if it’s time to leave on my own terms before my body gives out on me entirely.

But my ego just won’t let me go mid-way through a season.

We have two months left, and we have just started to pick up.

We can still finish top if I ignore the pain.

The rest of the team arrives, and we huddle up for our pre-game pep talk.

I look around at their faces, knowing that these guys are like family to me.

We’ve been through so much together over the years, both on and off the ice.

But I also know tonight is about more than just us as a team.

It’s about me and the legacy I’ll leave behind when I’m gone.

Taking a deep breath, I stand up in front of them all.

“Listen up, guys,” I say, trying to keep the tremble out of my voice.

“I know this season hasn’t been easy for any of us.

We’ve faced some tough opponents and some even tougher losses.

But tonight...tonight, we have a chance to go out there and show everyone what we’re made of. ”

There are nods and murmurs of agreement from the rest of the team.

“Most importantly,” I continue, “we’re going to play for each other. We’re going to play with heart, with passion, with everything we’ve got.”

I see a glint in each of their eyes – they know how much this game means to me.

“Let’s do this.”

The battle cry that resounds is music to my ears, and I forget everything except being in the zone.