Page 13 of Just my Puck (Love & Laughter #1)
CARTER
J ason and I remain silent for a while after Steele leaves, sipping our beers and contemplating his surprising words.
His offer to share Lucy with Jason still echoes in my ears.
Although, I’m not that surprised. Jason was floored, but he knows that Steele isn’t a selfish cunt.
He would do anything and everything he could to make sure his friends were happy.
Catching Jason’s eye, I can see he is elated, a wide grin stretches across his face.
“You’re actually thinking about going for it with her. For real.”
The serious stare he gives me tells me all I need to know. “If she’ll have me.”
“I doubt very much she is going to date you both.”
“I guess only asking her will clear that up.”
“Yep.” With every muscle tensed to maximum capacity, I take a deep breath and remind myself that tomorrow we have the biggest game of our lives.
A game that will make or break us. Everything rests on this, so there's no time for distractions.
Embedding my words with finality, I excuse myself from the conversation and head for my room, trying to figure out what it is about this girl that has Steele and Jason going absolutely crazy.
Sure, she's cute and all, but she isn't really Jason's type; as for Steele, his behavior lately has raised some questions that can only be answered by intuition.
It looks like he has been avoiding girls and partying recently, which I understand very well—after all, it's high time we all started acting like adults instead of entitled dicks.
Me most especially. My father’s approval has always been so important to me, but this season has been a total clusterfuck.
It doesn’t help that I feel like a failure every time his eyes cloud over in disappointment.
Still, I persist in trying to win back his favor, even if it may be an impossible task.
It’s bothering me more than it usually would this season because we’ve been playing like total asshats.
Making my way into my bedroom at the far end of the hallway from Steele’s in this five-bedroom mansion, I close the door behind me.
Exhausted from the day, I take a few moments to sit and reflect on my struggles.
Despite all of my efforts, I'm still unable to meet my father's expectations. That has to change. Soon.
Sinking into bed, all-encompassing jealousy gnaws suddenly at my core.
If Steele and Jason were ever to become part of a throuple with Lucy, a slim chance but still possible, where does that leave me?
I'm aware the fear comes from insecurity over the game, but that doesn't make it less real or more bearable.
As irrational as the feeling is, it's still valid and gripping me with its powerful force.
Closing my eyes, I try to empty my mind of all the thoughts racing through my head.
They rush by so quickly that they trip over each other like puppies in a busy yard in the afternoon.
As I begin to chase them around the edges of my skull, I think about the big game tomorrow and how it’s more important than whether or not I’m included in this thing with Lucy, or not as the case may be.
The other guys are so close to me that they would jump in if I felt pushed out of the way.
That’s what friendship is. Reaching over to the nightstand for my phone, I pull up the video of Lucy.
I’ve watched it a few times, trying to see what they see.
Smiling softly when I see her the second before she trips, you can almost see it’s going to happen.
Chuckling when her bag hits Jase on the head as she lands with her face in his lap, I pause it as she looks up at him.
His face is clear. The video was taken because whoever it was had their camera trained on him, and Lucy photo-bombed it with her accident.
His smile is amused but not in a mean way, more in a dazzled way, and his gaze on her is intense.
Pressing play again, she licks her lips and shoves her oversized glasses up her nose, using Jason’s legs to push herself to her feet before she darts off.
But the camera remains on Jason, and that’s where I see it. He has fallen for her without even knowing it. This whole stupid plan of fake dating her to clear up his image is a total front. He wants her, but he’s afraid that she will reject him as Swann did if he goes all in.
I understand it more than most. I’m not a commitment-phobe like him, but I do tend to steer clear of the girls who want a relationship.
It’s too much work after a grueling practice, game, season, year; the list goes on.
Hockey is my life, and the outside distraction of a girlfriend makes me exhausted just thinking about it.
One thing is for sure, though. Jason needs to man up and own his feelings toward Lucy, or it will affect his game.
Things are dicey enough as it is without him mooning over some girl.
Steele already has her, so hopefully, his mooning will be kept to a minimum.
Jason may be the Captain of the Titans by default because I’m the goalie, but I feel it will be my job tomorrow to rally this team into playing something remotely acceptable to the coach, the owner, the sponsors, the fans, and most of all ourselves.
We’ve worked too fucking hard for it to all go down the pan this season.
However, I think that’s half our problem.
We’re overthinking it now. We need to forget all that tomorrow and just play the game.
We’re better than this shit.
Aware that this is probably going to be easier said than done, I put my phone away and close my eyes, needing to get some rest.