Page 25 of Just Like You (Square Mile Rogues #2)

Julian

H ey!!! Got into LA last night, went out and met this gorgeous guy down at The B Club.

Turns out he’s in a polycule, and he took me home to meet the other guys.

Ended up doing some pills, next thing I’m in bed with three of them.

Not sure how I feel about it today, my head is pounding as hard as the one my arse took.

You still haven’t told me what you were on about with Gina DeSanto. You met her or what?

Jules? Come on! I need the tea?

Boring. Come on!

How we made it to the room, I didn’t quite understand.

I seemed to be running on an overdose of adrenaline, where Kieron was just completely out of it.

I suppose I was used to being awake for twenty-four hours, where he was the kind of guy who ran on a solid eight hours a night.

In my defence, I’d had a two-hour nap at some point during the flight, but I never rested well on board.

A crappy seat behind a curtain didn’t do much for your sleep-deprived body, and when we did have a proper place to sleep for our breaks?

I still couldn’t relax, and most of the time, if I stopped working, I felt worse.

Which was why I was now hyper-sensitised and anxious again, and where I shoved Kieron through the hotel room door and watched him do that thing, that I’d realised was very him.

Where he walked in a circle, wringing his hands, trying to figure out where he was and what he was doing.

He was funny. So sharp and put together, yet almost aggressively forward. And now he was behaving like a toddler who needed a nap.

“I need a shower.”

“Then strip,” I said, a smile brewing on my face. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. Just get yourself cleaned up and go to bed. I need to file some forms online, and then I’ll be in bed too. You want a cup of tea? A drink?”

“No,” he said, doing exactly what I’d told him to. Letting his crumpled suit fall to the ground, struggling with the buttons on his shirt. His tie half on, half off, like he’d tried to remove it and had given up .

“Here.” I walked up to him and took over. Gently pulled the tie over his head and stroked his cheek as I let it fall to the floor. “No sex. Don’t look at me like that. I know you, you’ll say one word and get me on all fours, and then I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”

“You walk fine,” he muttered, but it was there. A little smile.

“There. Shirt off.” I tugged it over his shoulders.

That hairy chest. The way his shoulders shaped into his arms. His nipples all pert underneath the clothes that were now pooling by his feet.

And it suddenly, in my weird state, occurred to me how lucky I was.

That I was here and he was with me, not because of any other reason than that…

he wanted to. That he wanted to be with me.

And he was tired and probably a little grumpy, the quietness of him perhaps should have made me wary, but instead I just smiled. Let my hands stroke down his chest.

“I really like what we have,” I murmured. “And sorry for just… you know, not handling anything very well. I should have talked to you and not just run off. But… I don’t know. I was scared, and I didn’t want to get in deeper when it would all end in tears anyway. I didn’t want that.”

“What?” He was…actually really out of it, and majorly overtired. But I could feel it, the way he was relaxing with every word coming out of my mouth. That if I just kept talking…this thing I was doing. Calming him down with little strokes of his skin.

“Sorry. Just wanted to say it,” I repeated.

“It’s fine. You know now, and…”

“We need to sleep. Then later? We will…talk. Lots of talking and… ”

“Fucking.”

“You like fucking.”

He giggled into my neck, having scooped me back up where I belonged. Him almost naked to my still fully dressed self. “I do. I especially like fucking you, but you’ve probably figured that bit out.”

“This, you and me, how come it’s become so simple?” That wasn’t a lie. This was simple. And I’d been completely honest, and I still was. “It’s easy with you. You understand me, and the way I live and my job and…you haven’t once told me that you resent it.”

“Why would I?”

“People always do. They see it as something temporary, a little fun thing to do before you settle down and get a proper job. And when you meet someone, it’s like two minutes before they ask when you’re giving it up.”

“Don’t give it up. I want to go back to the Maldives with you.”

“It might not be the same, second time around.”

“Oh, trust me. Give me a beach and a little room with a veranda and stick you and me there? It will be amazing. It was then, and now we’re here. Another adventure.”

“Don’t forget all the rosé we drank, gives you rosé-tinted glasses, that does. That was the Maldives, and this is central S?o Paulo, not quite a paradise island. ”

“This place has room service? No? A bar? I’m getting you a glass of nice rosé. And when we get back, I need to take you to the Patek shop and get this wristband changed.”

His hands were stroking down my arm, now trying to unravel my shirt, finding his watch.

“I’ve worn it. Because it…it’s yours. It made me feel happy.”

Stupid, but true.

“I want you to have it.”

“I can’t just…”

“Shut up, Julian. It’s not a case of yours or mine here. I think from now on? It’s our watch. I bought it. You wear it. No strings attached. That work for you?”

“And I thought you were a romantic?”

“I’m too tired to be romantic.”

“Go shower.” I laughed and patted him on his chest. Warm. Soft. He smelled awful, but I didn’t care. I got up on my tiptoes and pulled him in, my hand around the back of his neck as I got his lips against mine. My. My man. The guy… Gosh. What was I like?

And now he was ripping my clothes off, and whatever had happened to us?

Well. It was now a case of getting naked as he walked me backwards into the bathroom, where I was still wearing one sock and he was trying to get out of his boxers, and there I was getting the water running, a little too cool, but he was pressing me against the tiles, his cock thick and hard against my stomach .

Oh fuck. Here we went again.

Was I complaining?

Nah.

“I didn’t expect this, so I have no supplies,” he whispered in my ear, the water seemingly drowning everything else out as he turned me around and slammed my front against the wall.

My cheek against the cool tile as his mouth sucked into my neck.

Deep kisses. I’d be bruised, no doubt, but I honestly didn’t care.

“I’ve…”

“I thought you would. Always prepared.”

“I’ve not been with anyone else,” I said sternly. “Not since I met you.”

“Thank you,” he whispered. His body suddenly quiet, just stood there under the falling water, his front pressed to my back. His arms snaked around my front, holding me tight. “I don’t want to share you. I’m really worried that’s something you maybe…don’t want.”

“Ki,” I said sternly, turning around. How had we gone from almost fucking, to this?

Where he looked like he was about to cry, and I couldn’t bear it.

Not him. Not like this. “Listen.” My mouth felt dry, but I was being honest here, telling it exactly like it was.

I had no shame anymore because I think I’d left that at home by my kitchen table, after spilling my heart out to Gina DeSanto.

Fuck my life. All of it. “I don’t want a boyfriend.

I don’t want a relationship. I’ve been burnt, so many times before, and when it ends?

It hurts. When all the truths come flying out, it’s not fun.

I can’t bear it. I couldn’t deal with it last time, and I can’t deal with it now.

I’m scared. I’m fucking scared, Kieron, because this is not what I want. ”

“Okay.” He was looking straight at me. Those big dark eyes of his pinned on mine. They should have rattled me, but they didn’t. Because Gina was right. When he looked at me, he went all soft. And me, I was no longer skin and bone. I was just bloody jelly, and I couldn’t even function.

Brain offline.

Well, I got it switched back on, faster than light. I’d better, before I said something that he’d take the wrong way.

“This, Ki, what we have here? This bloody works. And I have no idea what I’m doing, and I can’t mind-read, I don’t know what you expect here, but fucking hell, Ki.

Can we just do this? Can we try? Can you…

just be with me and try not to get bored, when I’m never home, and my flying schedule rules my life and I can’t just change it at the drop of a hat.

I’ll miss your birthday, and Christmas, and I won’t be at home when you need me to be.

It’s just the way my life is. I can’t change it.

This is my reality, my work, what’s in my blood.

Take me away from this and stick me in an office Monday to Friday… ”

He silenced me with a kiss. One I desperately needed.

“If you got put in an office? You wouldn’t be you.

Because you’re Julian, and you’re just this free-spirited, happy guy, and I…

listen, I want this as much as you do, and I don’t care, I love that you have this weird and wacky job, and that you just…

you just move. Cons tantly, from one place to the other, and you let me… If I can be part of that?”

“A bit like your mother?” I didn’t know why I asked, but maybe he was. Maybe I was?

“My mum was a bohemian stoner with issues. I know that now. Maybe I didn’t understand that when I was younger, but I do now.

I know where I came from, and you’re nothing like my mum.

You’re… just Julian. And I love that you are, because…

I think…you’re exactly what I’ve always wanted.

Someone, just like you. Someone who’s just… ”

“Just what?”

He smiled, and then he kissed me again. Soft and deep, just the way I needed it. Smoothed his hands down my arms.

“I’m cold,” he said quietly.

“You were saying?” I teased. He wasn’t getting away with this. Straight talk. So I switched off the water and grabbed a towel from the rack. Wrapped it around his shoulders and then let him wrap it around me. A bit around me because the towel was small, and I was shivering too.

“I’ve always wanted someone who would hug me back.

Gina never did because she’s not tactile.

Not at all. You’d never know, but I’ve learnt to live with that.

My boss hugs me. She touches my hands and…

But it’s not… You hug me because you want to.

You hold my hand, and you… If I snuggle into you? You…”

“You can always hug me. Touch me. I want you to. You have no idea how much I like it when you touch me. ”

“Good,” he said, like he was tasting the word. Wanting to say so much more, but he was holding back. I was too because my words were failing me and tiredness was washing over me.

“It’s funny when I’m overtired. I suddenly feel really awake and my heart is beating too fast, like I’ve had a massive espresso and shot up vodkas all night. I just need a few hours’ sleep.”

“Me too. I don’t know how you do this all the time. Honestly.”

“I do it because I love it. I love meeting new people and dealing with problems and working with different crews every day and waking up in a new city. But then I don’t love being tired and having to constantly work through the night and feel crappy when I wake up because I’m hungry and dehydrated, and then I’m ratty and irritable… ”

“I can deal with that.” More kisses. How I loved feeling this…loved. Shit. I was thinking it again. Jumping way ahead of the game.

“Sleep,” he said, gently leading me over to the bed. I was wet, and I probably needed to brush my teeth, but right now? I’d rather just have him hold me. The duvet was tucked over my shoulder as my wet hair fell against his skin. My face in his neck. Arm around that big chest of his.

“Don’t let me sleep too long,” I mumbled.

“It’s all good. Just rest.”

“You were saying?” I smiled. I think he did too.

“I’ve always wanted someone who would love me, where I wouldn’t doubt that they did.

I always wondered, every time I met someone, and I couldn’t work it out.

I never knew if they liked me or if they were just around for the…

I don’t know. The sex? The money they assumed I had?

The lifestyle of someone who works in the city?

Fuck knows. Then I met you, and even that first time in New York?

I fell asleep in your arms, and I didn’t doubt for a second that you wanted me there.

That was what I had always wanted. Someone just like you.

Because I think you want me here. You have no idea how good that feels. ”

I was barely awake, but I pressed my lips to his neck. Held him as tight as my worn-out bones could.

“I want you here,” I said.

After that? I think I passed out. Because I think that was exactly what I’d needed to hear.

JUUULEEESSSS! I’m getting worried now. Did you get kidnapped by Gina DeSanto? In that case? Do tell all!

I met up with one of the polycule bros. He was hotter last night.

Now I just want to sleep all this off and not think about it. Maybe I’m getting old.