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Juice

I was stunned. I mean completely caught off guard. Everything that I’d worked for had come down to this very moment. Standing on stage in front of the audience I held the Grammy in my hand trying to find the right words to say.

The raw words, the illicit emotions, the realness, everything that I poured into Scale Dreams had won me album of the year. An award that only two rappers had ever won. And here I was the fucking third.

“Man…” I spoke into the mic. “First off, I wanna give honor to God because without him none of this would be possible.

Proverbs 28:20 says, “A faithful person will be richly blessed, but one eager to get rich will not go unpunished”.

I never knew what that meant until this moment.

It took losing everything I had for me to change.

I raised hell for years. I mean I was a straight up menace. Until one day I looked around and realized I was putting in the work, receiving the recognition, with nobody to celebrate with.

Scale Dreams was my life summed up in fifteen tracks. Probably the illest project I’ve ever done. But it’s me and it’s my reality. Thank you to my producers, my team, the label, hell everybody that was instrumental in seeing that this project did it’s best.

Lastly, I want to thank my family. I’m nothing without y’all. Everything I do, I do it for y’all. To my wife Nariah.” Everybody in the crowd started to cheer, causing me to pause and clap it up for my girl. When they settled down, I continued.

“Baby, thank you for holding me down. Helping me to realize the caliber of man that I can be when I walk right. I owe this to you and only you. Thank you for being my peace, none of this would be possible without you.” Kissing my fingers I held them off to the crowd and swaggered off the stage.

Funny how life spin the block on you. One minute you losing everything, next minute you holding it all like it never left.

I lost Nariah and not because she stopped loving me.

But because I ain’t know how to love her right.

Fame came fast. Shit I was too caught up in the lights to see that I was dimming hers.

Too many nights out, too many texts I shouldn’t have replied to. Too many I’ll call you backs that never got called. Nariah was loyal when I was foul. She was quiet when I needed peace. But time taught me and pain humbled me. I prayed for her. Not just to come back, but to heal too.

And when she did, she ain’t come back to the same nigga she left. She came back to a man who finally understood what forever meant. This time I ain’t taking shit for granted. This time our song doesn’t end in heartbreak.

I joke with Nariah all the time about how God knew this was where she was supposed to be.

That night in Punta Cana was the night Nariah and I conceived our baby girl Jurni.

When she found out she was pregnant she was hurt.

She felt like life was playing a joke on her.

This was the second time she walked away from the relationship and ended up pregnant.

Unlike the first time we didn’t jump back into a relationship.

Nariah made me work to regain her heart.

It took some time, plenty of prayer, and a lot of therapy, but we were able to get us back right.

And when we did, I got down on my knee and proposed.

Now I get to hold her like I almost lost her forever because I did.

This the end of our album, or maybe the start of a new one. Either way I’m forever grateful.

The End