Page 61 of Judas (The Lito Duet #2)

“That right? He’s done well for himself I guess. Yes, he was in Days of Our Lives when I was little.”

Thinking about him makes me remember Kaleb.

Fuck, that was so long ago—the last time I saw him.

Sadie filters through the selection as I reminisce about him.

That first love never goes away. Hurt like hell when he died, but I like to think he drops in to see me from time to time.

All while he chases celestial tail. If I think hard enough I can still smell the leather seats in his car, hear his laugh, and feel his fingers twirling a lock of my hair.

Kaleb was a different timeline for me. Had things gone a different way, I might have had several Reyes kids running around.

Speaking of his uncle, I hope he’s doing well.

A couple years after I got to Bluitt, I saw he was involved in a police shooting and spent a long while in the hospital—much longer than what I would consider necessary for a gunshot wound but what the fuck do I know.

“You’ve fallen.”

“Don’t we all?”

“Found one!” Sadie sing-songs, hopping merrily onto the bed.

She sits at the edge as opening credits roll, pulling off her shoes and dropping them aimlessly on the floor.

She’s been through a lot but somewhere in there, in her loud mind, she’s still a kid.

Anyone who interrupts that will get one hell of a beating from both parents moving forward.

We don’t have much time left for her to have a childhood.

It’s our duty to ensure she gets one, short or not.

“What are we watching?”

“ Smokey and the Bandit .”

“No shit, Bert Reynolds? Who the hell introduced you to this?”

“Father. He said it was a classic. Would let me watch about an hour or so of it then send me to my room to finish my homework and get my practice over with.”

“I saw your room. Cheer and what else?”

Settling next to me, she looks over confused. Taking that as a hint, I lay out what happened after my release.

“The Franklin newspaper posted a missing persons report for you before my release. Instead of going to the halfway house, which I may have a warrant for my arrest for not reporting, I went to your house. There was… a lot going on. Do you remember what happened?” I’m probing, she’s talkative and there are unanswered questions.

Might be able to get a few of them answered while she’s like this.

“Lucien abducted me. I fought him but don’t remember much after he hit me. I came down the hallway and saw him standing over Father and knew he was dangerous.”

“Did you see him hurt anyone?”

“No, just you and me. The men at the cabin, well, one was already dead and—“

Practicing what Kace preached, I wait for her to continue.

My impatience, and need to know immediately, fuels me to keep the conversation going.

I hate the idea of her not talking more because I’m too engrossed to give her time to put together what she wants to say in order to keep going. Eventually, she continues.

“The… the other guy I killed.”

“Alright, coffee and Madeline cookies,” Kace announces when he comes into the room, cutting that part of our conversation short.

In one hand he’s holding the bottom of both cups while the other mans the door and closes it with a firm thud.

From his teeth, however, hangs the bag of goodies we loaded on him prior to coming back up here.

“Put in an order for a fresh pint of ice cream that they will have finished tomorrow. Sweet tooth about kicked me in the gut when he told me cinnamon roll is a flavor option. Couldn’t resist.” The man can talk his way through anything, swear by that.

It makes me smile seeing a little bit of the ‘old’ him resurfacing.

Not this hunt-’em-down-and-kill-’em-good fucker.

“You two good? I’ve got to get back to work.”

“We’re fine,” I respond to him, pulling my attention away and giving it back to Sadie.

Looking at him hurts. The way he looks disappointed when I don’t hold his gaze for long makes me think it hurts him too. We will get through this shit, it just takes time. There’s no point in rushing, I’m not going anywhere, and if his dedication is any indicator then neither is he.

His attention moves over to Sadie. “Hey Jarvis, you good over there?”

“Ew, did you just call me Jarvis?” She shoots back.

Kace snaps his head in my direction and I shrug.

“Do you know who Jarvis is?”

“Tony Stark’s artificial intelligence, duh.”

Ohhhhhh, I love where this is going.

“‘Duh?’ Baby… did…. Now hold on a damn minute. What do you mean by ‘duh?’”

“Everyone knows who Jarvis is. Now… if you wanna talk about Alfred, then we can.”

“Oh fuck no.”

He’s scowling at me now, like this was my doing. I can’t help but roll my lips between my teeth to keep from laughing at his dismay.

“Paternity test as soon as we get back to Pennsylvania."

“Don’t think that’s called for, since the resemblance is uncanny.”

“I’m insulted.”

“As you should be,” Sadie notes and I about lose it.

“Who the fuck is this kid?”

“Your daughter, Kace, congratulations.”

He was out of the room shortly after that, acting like it’s the end of the world.

Gave me a good laugh, had a hell of a time holding it in honestly.

Sadie and I sink into the rest of Smokey and the Bandit , making it to the finale when I noticed she has slipped into sleep.

She does that a lot too, fall asleep randomly—I wonder if it’s a side effect of her medication.

I know those who take it have disrupted sleep patterns and abnormal changes when they start taking it.

Now that she's gone weeks without her pills, it’s very likely she could be experiencing the changes again.

In a relaxed yet snug embrace she has her head pressed to my chest and her arms wrapped around me almost like she’s scared I will leave her.

Never… I’ll never leave her but some things I can’t control, like my bladder.

Maybe I can wait until she moves or rolls over.

Laying there a bit longer, there’s no way my bladder is going to hold out that much longer.

Unraveling her as gently as I can, I slip out from under her and head to the restroom to take care of things.

Locked away, my hand slides into my pocket and withdraws the phone Ra gave me.

It’s almost amusing how I don’t use it that much outside of the bathroom.

Another prison habit I’m trying to break—there’s no reason to hide it now.

Placing it on the counter, I quickly take care of my business.

Might sound a tad bit obsessive but I want to get back to Sadie before she notices I’m not with her.

What can I say? It feels so damn good having her in my arms.

I don’t have many numbers on the phone actually.

There is Ra’s, Ez’s, uhm… I guess Kace’s now aptly labeled ‘H’.

No fucking way I’m going to keep calling him that, moron.

Then there’s Fury’s number which I transferred over from the burner Jaz gave me when I left Bluitt.

It’s about four in the afternoon over there and the guards should be getting everyone back to their bunks to do a head count for dinner time.

Deciding on a text instead of a call, I send one off.

Setting it back down, I move into washing my hands.

N

Things went sideways but I have her. Call soon.

Right as I’m rinsing my hands off, a text comes back and I read it from the notifications bar, smirking and shaking my head at the spitfire.

F

Let me know when things are going up and down. Preferably you ;) Luv you, bitch.

Subtle, Fury.

Back in the room, I see Sadie’s hands twitching and her eyes flickering under her lids—arms rigid like they were in the hallway.

Seeing her like this, plagued with things she cannot control saddens me.

Getting another long drink of my room-temp coffee I join her again.

I need to shift around a bit before I’m comfortable but once I’m there, I ease in and go back to combing my fingers through her silky hair.

Feeling a bit of sweat gathers on my fingertips after a few passes.

“Shhhhhh,” is the only kind of soothing I can fathom providing her right now.

“You… you left.” Her voice comes out so soft it is almost a whisper.

“Just for a few minutes but I’m here now.” Trying to reassure her, I continue, “Sadie, how long have you been without your medication?”

“Mmm, I don’t … know. I’m supposed to take two pills a day. Haven’t had any since he took me.”

“That was a month ago. How… how are you managing the voices?”

“We’re fine.” Her response is immediate and the tone slightly different.

“Good, I guess.”

“Restrain us again and it will not fare well for you.”

Same tone—at least I’m still talking to the same version.

Now that she’s not medicated, they fade in and out on a whim rather than leaving her be.

Lucien was like this at Darkwater; fuck, he might have always been like this.

Don’t recall him ever going to see Cindy for meds, very possible he’s gone his whole life without help.

“I won’t as long as you let her be Sadie more, not you.”

“She’ll take your suggestion into consideration.”

Thanks?

“Mom?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you know your mom and dad?”

Ouch. No secrets, going to live by this. Painful or not.

“Didn’t know my mom but I did know my dad. I lived with him until I graduated high school and went out on my own.”

“Can you tell me about them?”

Sadie can’t see me but I nod anyway, sliding a little further down in the bed and drawing her closer to my chest. Every time we are cuddled together, she gravitates to me that way, just getting ahead of the curve.

“My mom left my dad shortly after I was born. She had Lucien with someone I never met. Dad was… well, he wasn’t a pleasant man at all. Abusive in most cases, he died after I went to prison.”

Her ear is flat on my chest when I finish that tidbit, rising and falling as I breathe evenly.

“Father said you’re a sex offender. Uncle Lucien said it was because of the relationship you had with Dad.”

“Hate to say it but they’re both right. The Prison Rape Elimination Act made it where correctional officers received strict punishment for having relationships with inmates.

While what your dad and I had was consensual and resulted in you, it was still illegal and I faced those consequences.

I didn’t hurt anyone but people don’t look at it that way when you have that kind of a conviction.

It’s going to follow me everywhere, for the rest of my life, so if you don’t want to stay close because of it, promise I’ll understand. ”

“And Dad?” she asks.

“Vehicular manslaughter. He was drunk and killed an important person.”

“Uncle Lucien?” Her voice is softening now.

Every time she calls him her uncle I want to correct her. Family is not blood bonded anymore—not when it comes to him. Reeling in my annoyance, I keep talking.

“Multiple homicide. Lucien is not a good person. He’s hurt a lot of people over his personal choices. Earlier, before your dad came in here, you said you killed someone. Did Lucien make you do that?”

“Yes.” Her voice is gravely and unsettling now. “I liked it though. I’ve liked it each time I’ve killed.”

My mouth goes dry and I tense; this has got to be the one inside of her that Lucien has briefly warned us about.

Fuck, I need Kace. She shifts, looking up at me from where her chin rests on my sternum.

Pupils are blown out to the rims of her blue irises, mouth sliding into a deviant looking grin. I’m immediately on edge.

“Y… you liked it?”

“Mhm. He needed me to sin so he could kill her, then you and himself afterward. While he directed Sadie to cut that man's throat, he thought she was in control. But we’ve been in her head so long we know how to act for her. I cut his throat, she just held the knife.”

Kace… I need Kace right fucking now!

“Anyway…” Turning her head, she lies back down on my chest. Instinctively I return to playing with her hair.

“I’m not going anywhere without you. Not when your heart sounds like mine.”

Oh god.