Page 53 of Judas (The Lito Duet #2)

When I finally man up, I look over my shoulder and find Nadia standing at the open door to the bedroom.

Babel is behind her right shoulder, looking down at her while cradling my— our —daughter like she’s the most valuable person on the face of the earth.

He’d be right in that sense, the other one is standing just a foot in front of him.

I take a second to look Sadie up and down before turning and giving her my undivided attention.

She looks so damn good, unfortunately no amount of ogling her is going to remedy the explosion that’s about to happen.

The look of absolute devastation resting on her beautiful face is going to fucking unman me—and we don’t have time for that.

I need to get the information out of Lucien, doing this at night is the best option as it doesn’t raise as many suspicions.

But if I know anything about my woman, she’s not going to walk away from this.

Not now, anyway. She might later when she learns I’m not the same man I was.

Knowing that, how she may choose to leave at the end, feeds the guilt inside of me.

It’s a shame I refuse to acknowledge right now because if I do, then Lucien will latch on to it like some sort of leech and use it to his advantage. We will lose.

What the fuck do I do? Don’t be a coward, that’s what.

“Woof woof, babygirl.”

“W— woof, woof?” she repeats, her voice cracking.

Here we go.

“Woof.. WOOF!” Nadia says again.

There it is.

“Seventeen years and you fucking say ‘woof woof’?! Seventeen years of thinking you were dead and here you are, standing in a borrowed living room in a random fucking town beating the shit out of my brother?! Not, ‘Hi baby, I’m sorry. I have a reason for everything.’ No telling me who you were when the damn forest was burning down around us and you were driving just a few feet away from me.

No… not anything logical. Just ‘woof woof’. ”

Babygirl is pissed—pissed.

She’s got a point—well, a lot of them. I just don’t have the fucking time.

I’d break the sound barrier to scoop her up and crush my mouth to her, inhaling each of her breaths like I haven’t gasped for oxygen in days.

Taste her trembling lips as if they were covered in the sweetest, most decadent fruit.

I just can’t. I need to focus, I need her safe, I—Goddamnit, it’s not about me.

Lucien starts to chuckle, which brings me back to him. I twist, looking down at the piece of shit. It takes a fraction of a second for me to draw my arm back and slam my fist into his mouth.

“Hey!” Nadia shouts and clears the distance between us.

Her hand meets the crook of my opposite arm and wrenches me back around to look at her.

She’s filthy, covered in soot, dirt, some blood.

A bruise has gathered on her forehead then there’s her neck.

Marks of strangulation are wrapped all the way around her, so deep they almost look permanent.

The psychological damage will remain, even when the rest of it heals, but he did this.

I don’t need to ask who hurt her: Lucien did. Life did. I did.

Spinning on her, I grab her face and pull her to me, pressing my forehead to hers and breathe her in. The crack in my armor is widening and my soul is bleeding onto her. It’s all I can do right now, the only bit of comfort I can provide until we are out of harm's way.

Holding her close, I confess, “I’m sorry, so… fucking… sorry.”

She’s quivering in my hands and I can’t take this shit.

Releasing her, I drag her to me and hold her in a grip that may just break the bones in my arms because I will be damned if I hurt her ever again.

Cocooning her in a hug I’ve longed to have, her soft curves and the changes of her body fitting just as perfectly against me as they did long ago.

“K… Kace, I need you to explain.” Nadia whimpers. She still hasn’t embraced me back, understandably, but that fact is bothersome.

“I haven’t gone by that name since I died.”

“Which you haven’t! So spill it, Kace. Why are you standing here and not in a pine box? I think I deserve to know!”

“You do; promise I will tell you everything. Even the shit that may be too much to hear, but not right this second. I have a job to do and that entails questioning Lucien which cannot be done during the day. So, please… for fuck’s sake…

go into the bedroom with our daughter and recuperate.

You’ve been whole this entire time, don’t let this break you now. ”

Nadia shoves me away from her at that. Anger and pain replace the devastation from before.

“I haven’t been whole since the day you disappeared!” she shouts.

She takes a step back, and fucking hell it hurts watching her leave.

It’s necessary though. I can answer everything for her later, once the dust has settled.

When I screw my head back on the right way and stop thinking with my ass.

My gaze follows her when she turns and walks away, Babel leading her into the bedroom where she should have gone in the first place instead of coming out here to confront me.

The door closes and I instantly sink back into the side of me that has done a lot of shady shit.

“Trouble in paradise?” Lucien smarts, shifting slightly in the chair I have him strapped to. Almost the exact way he had me restrained in the pit. Paying him no mind, I reach for a crowbar and lug it off the table I set up to try and minimize the mess I knew we were going to make.

“That was stupid of you. Went and tore her up, now the memory she has of you is sullied. Leave it to good ol’ Kace to screw things up all over again.”

“Go to hell,” I pop off.

“You first,” Lucien teases.

Stepping to his ten o’clock, with more than enough space between us, I look at him disgusted.

This fucker tried to kill me and almost succeeded, facilitated a riot, watched my woman get gang raped, spent many more years in prison killing people, kidnapped my daughter, tortured her, made her kill, hung her up like a tree ornament with the intentions on sacrificing her, started to strip her bare, nearly strangled Nadia to death, and now has the audacity to sit here and tease.

He will pay for everything, one broken bone and laceration at a time.

“You know, I’ve been there already. It was lovely but not quite a five star experience. Do you know what would have made it so much better, Lucien?”

“What’s that?” he asks.

“Music.”

Swinging my arm back, I bring the bar down on his right knee cap and listen to him scream as the metal-on-metal splits the skin open and sends pain racing up and down his leg. He thrashes in the chair, kind of like a fish out of water—flopping around aimlessly.

“There we go, I always did love a high note. Again.”

I give the same attention to his left knee and listen to him sing.

By the time he finally passes out, I am covered in sweat and so much grime I can almost feel it bleeding between the cells that make up my body.

My muscles ache, joints are stiff, and I could use a shower.

Leaving the fucker where he’s at, I snag a bottle of water from the fridge then join Nadia and Sadie in the master suite.

Unscrewing the cap, I place it to my lips at the brim and drink—watching the both of them sleep.

Nadia is curled around Sadie like she’s going to slither away; I wouldn’t put it past her yet.

Seeing the way she was acting in the park, there’s a shit ton going on in her arcane head that’s going to take more than a good night's sleep to help rein in. It kept her alive, though. Watching her fight back each time she snapped—seeing the confusion and concern on Lucien’s face when he would realize she’s not someone he can push around and use as a play thing.

No, not my daughter.

Doing my best not to disturb either of them, I put the now empty bottle on the nightstand next to Nadia, standing beside the bed.

I'm ready to fall into it behind her. Grab onto my girl and sleep next to her for the first time. Over twenty years, if you count the years she worked at the prison before things kicked off between us, and I’ve not spent more than thirty minutes tops with her.

Looking over myself, my blood-stained dark-blue shirt and black tactical pants are not fit to touch her. No, I will be burning these as soon as possible.

Lifting my hands, I rub my face vigorously for a moment then run them through my hair.

Pushing the wild strands away from my forehead, I turn to the en suite bathroom.

When I step inside, I snicker to myself seeing her dirty clothes sitting in a heap off to the side with what looks like a blood-covered towel and the clothes we found Sadie in.

She bathed the both of them before getting into bed—her mothering knows no limits right now.

Sadie is going to be rotten to the core, and I mean that in the sweetest way possible.

I scrubbed myself as fast as possible and threw on a pair of sweats and a shirt courtesy of the fucker who bought this place.

He’s bigger than me, but that just means his tight clothes fit more comfortably on my body.

He’s on my list. Fury told him to keep his hands to himself and now that he’s touched what’s mine, including his lips, I’ll be slicing them off once this is all said and done. But first, sleep.

Padding into the bedroom again, there’s nothing stopping me.

Not hell, not heaven, and definitely not Lucien.

I peel the comforter and top sheet back, slide into bed behind Nadia, and pull her into me as my mouth and nose meet the side of her neck.

Inhaling the muted orange and honey scent she always had, I have to suppress a sign of relief.

Speaking softly to the soft skin there, and pressing a gentle kiss to the same space, I murmur, “I’m so sorry, Nadia. I know I hurt you far worse than either one of us thought I could. There's no amount of apologizing that will fix what I’ve done.”

Gently, I run my fingers down her arm then her side and around her waist. When my hand gets to her stomach, I spread my fingers wide and rest it there as I continue. Wishing I could have been present for her through the pregnancy—I was, from afar, but it wasn’t enough.

“I left you all alone, let you face fear you never wanted to experience, and made you pick up the pieces when you needed stronger arms to help carry the burden. I won’t ask for your forgiveness because I don’t deserve it, but as long as you stay with me, I’ll promise to never make the same mistake. ”

When she shifts, I don’t let it deter me.

Let her wake up; let her hear me pouring my heart out to her in person instead of through a fucking phone when I thought I was never going to see her again.

I made it happen, every choice, every fucked up chore and plan since that day, I willingly made because I knew I’d be here with her.

“You found me in a cage of my own making, yet somewhere in the mix of things I traded that one for being trapped in your orbit—a prison I’m killing to belong to.

I’ve done bad things, babygirl, but I’ll be a repeat offender if it means being yours forever and earning the privilege to love you again. ”