Page 88 of Jase

“But then you leave. I feel you leave. It’s not the same.”

Jase frowned, leaning down to press his lips to mine. Once he started, I felt myself grip to him tighter. Hunger, something I had been dead to since the poisoning came roaring back. I turned on my side, maneuvering so that I could throw my leg over his lap to straddle him. Jase’s arms locked around me, holding me tight as I moved against him.

“Wait, wait.” He broke from my mouth, breathing heavily. “It’s too soon.”

“Soon? No it’s not.”

“It can’t be good for you to get all…worked up.”

“Says who? It’s been eighteen days.”

“Exactly.Eighteen days since you died.Twice.”

“Thanks for reminding me.” I pushed from his lap, spinning to head to my room. I didn’t make it but a few steps before his arms were once again trapping me to his body. This time, he had my back, immediately biting against my neck hard enough to make me yelp.

“You’re calling the doctor.”

“I’m going to my own bed.”

“Like hell you are. You don’t sleep there anymore. We’re calling the doctor, and then you’re going to let me make you some damn tea and pie.”

I jerked in his arms. “All I do is eat and sleep. I’m sick of it. I want something different. Something new. I want to see the sky. I want—” I thrashed against him again. “Give me the phone.”

“That’s my girl.” He kissed my cheek, smiling, and pulling it from his pocket to hand to me. “I’ll get your tea going and make your pie. You want it warm, again?”

“Yes. Ice cream on the top, please.”

He was happy. I was not. But…I might be.

I pulled up the recent calls, hitting my doctor’s cell and putting on the speaker. I was surprised when he answered after the second ring. He’d taken hours to call me back before.

“Dr. Wade speaking.”

“Hello doctor, it’s Kody Marshall. I was hoping to talk to you about a few things.”

“Absolutely. What can I help you with, Kody?”

Jase was stealing glances, watching my every move as I paced.

“I’m having some problems. You mentioned depression being common with people who’ve had issues with their heart. I’m not sure I’m so depressed as I am angry.”

“Depression and anger go hand-in-hand. That’s completely normal. Would you say it’s an overwhelming anger? Is it manageable?”

“I think so. I don’t feel I’m to the point where I need a prescription yet. It comes in waves. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m lashing out. That actually leads me into my next question because I was hoping my idea might help.”

“Sure. What do you have in mind?”

I got quiet as Jase’s brow creased in confusion.

“It’s…well…I was wondering about intimacy. How long before someone like me could…”

He laughed under his breath as Jase straightened his spine and placed the mug on the counter. He wasn’t happy, but I ignored that as the doctor continued. “That’s also very normal to wonder about. Some lose interest in sexual activity for months after heart attacks or heart complications. The fact that you haven’t is great news. Years ago, we would have said to try to avoid sexual relations at least two to four months, but what we’ve found is that intimacy can actually do wonders for those affected. It’s good for the heart. It also curbs the depression I mentioned before. Your heart won’t stop again if that’s what you’re worried about. You should be okay to resume as normal.”

“Thank you, Doctor Wade. I appreciate it. I’m sorry to bother you. That’s really all I was wondering.”

“Of course. If you have any more questions, feel free to call.”

“I will. Thank you.”