Page 18 of Jase

Kody yawned, growing quiet again. Minutes went by as I hoped she’d say more, but she didn’t. She stared ahead, silent, still. Just as she was starting to doze off, her door opened and two younger women wearing scrubs walked in with their hands full. I knew them immediately from the employees on shift. Both were nurse aides, assigned to the floor.

“Flowers, Ms. Marshall. Lots and lots of flowers.”

Kody sat up. “For me?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“From who?”

They placed the bouquets along the window just as a younger male and an older woman from the church volunteer group came through with more.

“People who’ve heard your story. You’re all over the news.”

She mouthed the word,news, unease making her shift as she looked down to her injured hand. The new flowers were placed down, and Kody turned, her legs sliding over the side of the bed as she took hold of the IV stand.

“Can I go see them?”

The nurse aide closest helped Kody off the bed, staying by her side as she made her way towards the window. There were multiple vases of roses, tulips, daisies, and even a peace lily. The shades of flowers were bright against the clean, crisp neutral tones of the room. As she made her way down each one, she took the cards attached. It was the letters Kody gasped at when the nurse aid handed them over.

“These were sent as well. Why don’t we get you back in bed so you can look at them?”

“I am pretty shaky. Thank you.”

Kody reached, running her finger down one of the roses before she turned. Once the nurse aide had her back in bed, Kody fiddled with the opened envelopes on her lap until they all left, but she didn’t read any of them. Her stare went back to the flowers, and then back around the room. When her shoulders curled in and she sniffled, my head angled to try to get a better look at her face.

“Don’t cry. Come on, now.” My head shook as I forced myself from the couch, back to my laptop. I wasn’t sure what was worse, witnessing her fear or sadness. Both ate at me in their own way, and I wasn’t sure what to think of that.

“God?”

My eyes rose to the large monitor across the room so I could see her on the bigger screen, but I didn’t project my voice so she could hear me.

“Tell me.”

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can. I’m going to help you.”

“Everyone knows what happened. They all know.”

Sobs filled the room, and it was as if her tears extinguished my sanity. For someone who hated leaving his space, I was ready to tear through these walls and everything in-between to make it to her side. To reassure her that she had me. I wouldn’t let anyone hurt or bother her again. I’d take care of her. I’d make sure she was safe.

“No more tears. Feel me. Know I’m there.”

I turned on her television watching as Kody’s head lifted. She glanced around the room, coming back to face me.

“See,” I whispered,” you’re not alone.”

Laughter from the game show filled her space. Long hair fell over her shoulder as she glanced down to the remote, but she brought her gaze back to me. Hesitation. Kody looked down again, hitting the power button to turn off the television. When she wiped her tears and took a deep breath, the stubbornness she held reflected as she came back to me. Kody suspected, but her confusion was evident as she took in the blank screen. It went back and forth. Flowers. Door. TV. Flowers. Door. TV.

“God?”She paused. “I shouldn’t call you that. If you are there, thank you. I didn’t say that before when you called. Maybe I’ll never get to say it because maybe I’m overthinking this and I’m talking to myself. I just…”

Again, she got quiet as I waited.

“I don’t understand why this happened. Did I do something? Did I not do something? Why? How? I have so many questions and no answers. You said David was…”Her hand lifted as she stopped herself.“I hope he is. I hope that was real. My head…it’s so fuzzy. Listen to me, I’m talking out loud, in a fucking whisper, praying someone is hearing me. How crazy do I seem?”

“Not crazy at all, love. Let’s just get that out of your mind right now.”

A sniffle filled the space as her head once again dropped so she could stare down at her lap. I triggered the television again, turning it on as Kody let out something between a sob and a laugh.