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Mertie twisted her phone in her hand and looked at Amara, who sat holding her tea and staring off into space.

Maybe she was adjusting to the idea that she had not one, but two nieces.

Mertie found it hard to believe that she not only had a daughter, she had a niece. She felt like her life had been giving her whiplash, yanking her from one spot to another, with new revelation after new revelation. She wouldn’t mind having it settle down some and become normal, even boring.

“Do you mind if I go?”

“I can’t believe you stayed this long. I know you have some things to talk to Dabney about, and I just want you to know I’m praying for you. I’m confident that conversation is going to go well.”

“I wish I was. I’m definitely not, but I hope it does.”

Boy, did she ever. It was probably going to be one of the most important conversations of her life. It would affect the way her relationship with her daughter went for years, if not forever.

She wanted to handle it right, wanted more than anything to handle it correctly.

Standing up, she took her glass to the kitchen, rinsed it out, and put it in the dishwasher.

She hurried out the door and down the driveway. She walked, thinking that she might need the exercise to try to clear her head and figure out what she was going to say. But all she could seem to manage to do was to just pray, Lord, help me. Help Dabney to love me and forgive me for what I’ve done.

That was probably as good as anything. Planned speeches didn’t always go over very well. At least for her, when she was standing in front of a crowd of people, they always went well, because she could organize her thoughts and power through the speech. When prepared remarks were given in a conversation, though, sometimes she felt like she needed to finish her remarks instead of going with the flow of the conversation.

That didn’t always have the desired effect.

It felt like forever, and like no time at all, until she found herself standing beside Garnet’s front porch. It was his parents’ house, and he lived there with Dabney. She was a little sad that Dabney was her child, and yet Garnet got to live with her. Of course, Garnet had raised her, had adopted her; he had earned the right to live with her.

She tried not to castigate herself too badly over that, but she didn’t think she would ever get rid of the guilt she felt for not being there for her child, even though she was not prepared in any way to be raising a child. Of course, Garnet hadn’t been either.

Maybe Garnet and Dabney had been waiting for her, since they were sitting outside on the porch swing.

“Hey there.” She wanted to talk to Garnet too. Tell him what an awesome job he had done today. That he had preached another sermon that had hit directly in her heart and made her want to be a better person. Was there a better sermon than that? One that inspired a person to want to make changes in their life, changes that brought them to the Lord, inspired them to be closer to Him, and helped their relationship?

She would rather hear a sermon like that any day of the week than a sermon that just told her what she already knew or what she wanted to hear, assuring her she was fine and there was no need to upset the apple cart by trying to do anything new.

She’d heard too many of those sermons in her life before, though she had highly doubted that she would hear too many more, if she was going to get married to Garnet and sit under his preaching for the rest of her life. The idea was still new, but it also sent a thrill of excitement down her spine.

“Hey. We’ve been waiting on you.”

“I got away as soon as I could. I... I know that Olive is going to the church, so do you mind if we talk here?”

“I think this is a perfect place,” Garnet said, and then he looked over at Dabney, who nodded. She looked a little shy, meeting Mertie’s eyes for a quick second before she looked down, dragging her toe on the porch as Garnet pushed the swing back and forth.

There were three rocking chairs, and she chose the one that was closest to the swing. She loved this front porch. It was beautiful, everything that a small-town porch should be, and she felt completely content as she sat down.

At least physically she felt content. Emotionally she was all tied up, even though she knew that God was in control, and He would make the conversation go the way it needed to go, even if it wasn’t the way she wanted it to. Even if it meant a lifetime of struggle and strife and pain between her daughter and her. If that was God’s will, she didn’t want it, but she would accept it and live through it because God knew best.

With those thoughts, that God was in control, and she just needed to submit to His will, and it didn’t really depend on her, she felt her insides relaxing.

She was the kind of person who liked to take things and manipulate them until they fit what she wanted. That worked whenever she was building her ministry or any other kind of business, but when a person was trying to live a life submitted to the Lord’s will, it made things a little bit hard for them. She had probably struggled more than the average person to pry her fingers up and just give God control.

“I guess I don’t know where to start,” she said when no one else said anything.

“Are we talking about the fact that you gave me up for adoption?” Dabney asked, and Mertie realized that they hadn’t really said exactly what they were going to sit down and talk about.

“That’s what I was hoping to talk about. I wanted to kind of explain to you why.” She looked around. “Are your parents awake?” she asked Garnet.

“No. Mom just went in half an hour ago to take a nap, and Dad’s been sleeping for at least twice that long.”

She nodded. “All right. Not that I care. Everyone’s going to know. But I wanted to talk to Dabney about it before I send any emails to anyone or make any phone calls tomorrow.”

“Why?” Dabney asked suddenly. She’d had a little while to think about it. She had found out she was adopted when she realized how much she looked like Mertie a few weeks ago and wondered if Mertie might indeed be her mother. She had asked Helen, Garnet’s mother, and Helen had told her the whole story.

Dabney had just been waiting for Mertie and Garnet to tell her, and when they didn’t, she finally asked them when they were going to.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I... I guess I felt like I didn’t really have that right anymore.”

Garnet’s jaw tightened, and she could tell he didn’t like what she said, but he didn’t interrupt her.

“I gave you up for adoption. And I suppose that means that whoever adopted you has the right to decide what happens to you, at least until you’re old enough to make those decisions for yourself.”

“Which, I’m almost old enough,” Dabney said, sounding every second of her fourteen years.

“You certainly are, honey. And you’re mature for your age. You have always handled any responsibility that I’ve given you, which tells me that you can handle more.” Garnet spoke softly, but not long, almost as though he knew this conversation was one that needed to be between Dabney and Mertie. “In fact, if you’d like me to, I can leave. So that you and your mother can talk without me.”

“I’d like you to stay,” Dabney said immediately.

“Me too,” Mertie said, meaning it. It wasn’t that she was afraid to talk to Dabney by herself, that wasn’t exactly it, but she did feel a certain amount of support and encouragement and confidence when Garnet was around.

“Are you going to answer me?” Dabney asked softly, quietly, not defiantly, not angrily, but determined to get her answers.

The question made Garnet smile just a bit, and she could almost hear him saying, “she has a bit of you in her.” Which would be true. Any determination or stubbornness she had, she most definitely got from Mertie.

“I didn’t think I could keep you. I didn’t think I could give you a good life. I was a student, I made some bad choices, choices I wish I could go back and undo. Except, that means I wouldn’t have you, and I suppose in every regret there’s a rainbow, if you want to look at it like that, and you are the rainbow. So, maybe I wouldn’t undo it. But I do regret it. And I definitely regret giving you up. I would like to go back and tell myself that I could have done it.”

“But if you’d done that, not given me up, I wouldn’t have Dad.”

“Exactly. And you have the best dad in the whole world. I can’t think of another person who could be a better dad to you. And I think that’s one thing I did right.”

“I guess I was thinking about that. I mean, I’ve always wanted a mom. Always. I wished I had one, I longed for one, but knowing that for you to keep me meant Dad wouldn’t get me, and I wouldn’t have Dad, I guess... The only way I would have wanted you to keep me would have been if you and Dad would have been together.”

Mertie nodded, waiting until Dabney looked down at her lap before she shifted her eyes and met Garnet’s gaze.

They were together now, planning a marriage.

“I wish I would have been that smart back then. Your dad actually suggested that, and I said no way. I thought we were too young to get married. I thought I was too young to be a wife and a mom, to give you a good upbringing, but... I think that would have been the better way to go. But I guess that’s what I wanted to talk to you about today. I can’t undo the past. I can’t go back and try to figure out a better way. I did the best that I knew how to do at the time. The best for you, and I just hope that you can forgive me, and we can have a relationship from now on.”

“When you and Dad get married?”

“Yeah. And now, too. Because I don’t know how long it’s going to be.”

“Soon?”

“As soon as he’ll marry me.” She smiled a little, not liking the unknowns in that equation either. Her controlling personality wanted to twist everything so that it did what she wanted it to do, rather than the way it would play out over time.

“I’ll marry you tonight if we can.”

“I think we need a license. That would be a few days anyway.”

She noticed that Dabney had not said that she forgave her. Was that because Dabney didn’t feel like there was anything to forgive? She had hinted at that when she had said that she wouldn’t want Mertie to do anything different if it meant she wasn’t going to have Garnet as a dad, or did that mean that Dabney wasn’t yet ready to talk about forgiveness?

The idea made Mertie bite her lips, but she wasn’t going to press. Although, she supposed asking one more time wouldn’t be pressing too hard.

“I was thinking about getting Pastor Calvin to marry us,” Garnet said, with his brows raised as though asking her.

“I think that would be really nice,” she said, knowing he was talking about the pastor that they had growing up, and she would love to have him marry them, although he was in an assisted living facility. His wife, Mrs. Calvin, had been where Mertie had gone in order to hide her pregnancy. She had a deep affection for the couple; they were tied to some of the best and worst memories of her life.

“I’ll ask and see what he says. I actually have a wedding to perform—your sister and Hobert.”

“I know. I was talking to her about that today. I was kind of wondering who would get married first.”

“I think it should be us. Then I’ll be the pastor of the church when I marry them. That just seems like a better order than trying to get things cattywampus. I think they’ll be willing to wait a couple of weeks.”

“I don’t know. They’re pretty impatient.”

“I might be a little impatient too.” He smiled with so much tenderness she felt it the whole way to her bones.

“I’ve been waiting for this all my life.” She hadn’t even known it. She’d been waiting to have a man who adored her, who wanted her for who she was, who would be a great husband and father. She’d already seen what a great dad he was, so that was not even something she questioned.

It was almost like sampling the goods before she got them, only in the very best way.

“You didn’t answer me when I asked if you thought you could forgive me, Dabney,” she said again, turning her head to Dabney and focusing on what she had gone there for. She knew that Garnet and she could work things out. They were both in the Christian ministry, and they both wanted to live their lives pleasing to the Lord.

She didn’t want to get complacent though. Just because both of them were Christians, just because both of them wanted to do what God wanted them to do, didn’t mean that their relationship wouldn’t need constant work the way relationships always did. In her heart, she wanted to do the work, but she knew that often the work was hard things, like forgiving, letting go, giving in when she felt like her way was best, letting someone else take the credit, serving without reward, and following her husband, and for her, the challenges would be even greater because of her husband being in the ministry. As a pastor, his people would expect him to be there for them when they were having babies, funerals, and illnesses and crises in their home.

She had to be able to share her husband, not feel neglected, and support him however she could. She wasn’t blind to the challenges, since she’d been in the ministry and knew what it contained.

Was she up for it?

That really wasn’t the question. The question was, was she going to be able to follow the Lord as He led her down this path? Because with God, she didn’t need her strength, she only needed His.

The seconds ticked by as she held her breath, waiting for Dabney to answer her.

But Dabney appeared confused. “What do I have to forgive you for?”

“For giving you away.” She thought it was obvious.

“We just said, if you hadn’t given me up, I wouldn’t have Dad. God worked it out perfectly. Dad took care of me until you and Dad met up again, and now I have a mom. I mean, I still wish I would have had a mom all of my life, but getting one late is better than never getting one.”

Mertie had to laugh.

Garnet said, “Better late than never; you could have made up the saying.”

“Yeah. That saying. Better late than never. It applies to my mom.”

She couldn’t believe that that was it. Maybe other things would come up at some point. Maybe she would have it tossed in her face that she had given her up whenever they were arguing sometime in the future, but for now, she couldn’t believe how good God had been to her. He had worked everything out.

“Is it okay with you if your mother and I get married?”

“I want that,” Dabney said. “Didn’t I suggest it?”

Was that how it happened? She supposed, as a woman, she should be upset that it didn’t seem like Garnet wanted her until his daughter asked her, but she knew that wasn’t the way it was at all. Garnet wouldn’t have asked her until he knew for sure that his daughter was okay with it. Perhaps if Dabney was out of the house, married, and on her own, then her opinion wouldn’t be so important. But Mertie hoped that they were a close-knit family and that getting permission was just something they all did.

She supposed having a family that was close was something that had to be worked on as well. And now that she didn’t have her career to focus on, she could put all of her energy into doing the very best that she could for her family and for her husband and their church.

She couldn’t wait to get started.

But first, she had some phone calls she had to make. Tomorrow.