Page 25

“What do you think? Is it pretty?” Doyle sat in front of Livvy who was propped in a bouncer seat, outside on the patio that overlooked the lake. Neither one of them were looking at the lake though. He held a shiny diamond ring up in front of Livvy, and the baby gurgled and cooed, and her little hand swiped at it.

“No. It’s not for you. It’s for Mommy. Do you think I should try to give it to her today?”

It was fast, a lot faster than he would ever have moved with anyone else, but no one had ever been like Olive to him. He hadn’t quite felt like they’d picked up where they’d left off back before she’d gone away, but he did feel like they had a connection that he never felt with anyone else. He also admired her in a way he’d never admired anyone.

“You like it?” he said to Livvy who just looked happy to be there.

“I’m afraid she’s going to tell me no. Or maybe she’s going to tell me that I’m going too fast. Or I couldn’t possibly feel for her what I do. But it’s deeper than that, you know?” He was talking to a baby, and he knew it. But she enjoyed listening to him, and he didn’t mind getting his words out in the open. He had thought about talking to Pastor Garnet, but with his own wedding, and then the wedding of his sister-in-law coming up and all the other things that had been going on in their lives, he hadn’t wanted to add to the drama.

Plus, as a man, he felt like he should be able to figure this out on his own. It was almost like stopping to ask for directions. He was one of those guys who would rather drive around for an extra three hours than stop and ask. He thought the figuring-it-out part was fun.

This was less fun than nerve-wracking.

“So when you talk to Mommy later, you put in a good word for me, okay?” he said to the baby.

She gave him one of her adorable, toothless smiles and grabbed for the ring, which was beautiful as the sunlight shimmered off it.

He’d bought it almost a decade ago, when he thought they were going to get married the first time. And kept it all that time. For some reason, he brought it with him when he moved to Raspberry Ridge. There were a lot of things he left behind, but this ring wasn’t one of them.

“This represents a pretty big commitment. It’s not something that should be entered into lightly. But I don’t think that a couple is supposed to hem and haw around, waiting for years, trying to figure out whether they’re with the right person or not. If they are, they should get married, and if they’re just messing around, they should stop, because that’s not right.” Those were just his opinions, although he felt like he could back them up with principles from the Bible.

Regardless, his opinions might not be Olive’s opinions, and that was one thing about getting married. You had to take into account the other person for the rest of your life. It wasn’t something that he had considered when he was a young kid. Thinking about someone else all the time. Now, he found, over the last week anyway, that he actually enjoyed working to make her happy. Giving up what he wanted, for her. Sure, there were hard times, especially in the middle of the night when he really didn’t want to get up, but... For the most part, serving her fulfilled him in a way that he hadn’t anticipated.

“I’m not sure I have enough nerve. I really don’t know how she feels. I suppose I ought to try to figure that out before I drop her ring on her unexpectedly,” he said, giving the ring one more tilt in the sun before putting it back in its blue velvet box and snapping the lid closed. He dropped the box in his pocket and looked back at the baby.

“I just want to say, you’re not much help.”

She grinned at him, grabbing a hold of his finger and sticking it in her mouth, gumming on it.

“Are you hungry? Or are you just doing that because it’s some weird instinct that babies have?”

He’d done some research on babies online, since he’d never actually been around any in real life and certainly hadn’t had any instruction in them. He wanted to do a good job. Taking care of Olive’s little one.

“Da da da da,” Livvy said. He figured she wasn’t saying it to him; it was just a noise that babies had a tendency to make, according to what he read online, but he couldn’t stop the little thrill that went straight to his heart.

“I want that. Want to be your daddy. We’re going to have to figure out a way to talk Mom into it. Actually, I don’t want to talk her into it. I want her to want it too. But one human can’t really make another human want to do something that they don’t want to do. That’s one of the lessons that you’ll eventually learn in life. Hopefully anyway. It took me a little while to figure that out. Maybe when I was watching your mom leave me and knew that I was powerless to stop her. It was painful.”

He didn’t really want to talk about bad things with Livvy, so his voice trailed off as he thought about how badly he had wanted to hold onto her and never let her go, but he had known that with love, a person wanted the best for the other person, and sometimes that meant prying up their fingers and allowing them to leave.

“The hardest thing I’ve ever done,” he said seriously to Livvy who studied him with her big, dark eyes.

Sometimes the eyes reminded him that her father was a world away, with another family, and while it made him feel a little bit jealous, the fact that Olive obviously thought a lot of him to have been with him to the point where she had a child with him, it also made him feel bad for Livvy, the fact that she most likely would never know him. And he was okay with that. He had no idea what he was missing. Livvy was a sweetheart with her own developing personality. Very laid-back. Easygoing and inquisitive. He couldn’t imagine getting tired of watching her.

“I don’t think I’m nearly as interesting,”

“I’m not sure what you’re comparing yourself to, but you are a very interesting man.”

He jerked his head around, watching as Olive finished walking out the door, two glasses of water in her hands.

“How’d you know I was thirsty?” he said, standing up to meet her. Wanting to tell her that she shouldn’t have come down without checking with him, but she had done everything he had asked her to do, including staying in bed and only texting him when she wanted to get up. Today was the first day that she got up on her own. He couldn’t complain.

“I just had a hunch. Or maybe it was a peace offering.”

That made him smile. “You thought if you brought me a glass of water, I wouldn’t notice that you are out of bed and had come down the stairs without telling me?”

“Something like that,” she said as she bent down in front of Livvy, smiling in her face and kissing her forehead as Livvy reached for her cheeks and her nose. “I think she’s grown and changed just in the six days I’ve been sick. She looks so big. Like a little baby instead of a newborn.”

“She has been growing and changing fast.” He almost told her that Livvy had said “da da” just a few minutes ago, but decided not to, knowing that it was just a noise, and not really the baby calling him her daddy, plus, not wanting to throw that out there and make Olive any more uncomfortable than what she already had to be around him. After all, he was almost her jailer.

“I was kind of hoping we could take a walk. I mean usually we do in the evening, and it’s almost evening.”

It was about four o’clock in the afternoon, so maybe an hour or so before they usually did it. Usually he waited until the end of the day when he was sure he wouldn’t be getting any more business calls.

“We can put her in a stroller and head to the healing garden. How does that sound?”

“Oh? I’m going to be allowed to walk on more than just the driveway today?”

“If you think you can make it.”

“I think I can. I just had a good visit with my sisters, then a nice nap, and now I have a handsome man and a beautiful baby to go walking with me. What more could a girl want?”

He almost said a husband, but he honestly didn’t know whether she thought that would be a good thing or not.

He was going to be buying the house right out from underneath her, and he didn’t know whether she would have a place to stay or not. He didn’t want to hold that over her head, like he had told Mertie.

They didn’t say much as he moved away from the bouncer seat to the stroller, checking to make sure her diaper was still dry since he had just changed it less than thirty minutes prior when she had finished her bottle.

Olive seemed like she almost had a spring in her step, and he had to admit that she did seem a good bit better.

“I feel so much better, my arms don’t feel like they weigh a ton, and dragging myself out of bed doesn’t feel like a day’s worth of work.” She lifted her face to the sunshine as though enjoying its brightness shining down on her. “I owe you a lot. I owe you thanks, and gratitude for everything you’ve done for me.”

“You don’t owe me anything. I did it because I wanted to. And... I guess I wanted you to know that I’m...fond of you.”

Fond. That wasn’t the word he meant. He wanted to say more.

“Fond?” She lifted her brows and then laughed. “I think I just used that word when I was telling my sisters how I felt about you. And they laughed at me.”

“They did?”

“They insisted that I felt more than fondness toward you.”

“Do you?” He couldn’t keep the hope that leapt into his chest down. He wanted her to feel more, for them to be going on this emotional journey together. Not just him by himself.

“I guess I feel like feelings aren’t what I should be basing any relationship on. I’ve done that once, and it bit me hard.”

“I see.” He tried not to allow his disappointment to show on his face. “What are you going to be basing your next relationship on?”

“I want someone who is steadfast, has integrity and character,” she said thoughtfully, looking down at the pavement as they slowly walked down the drive. “I want someone I can depend on. Someone who’s going to be there for me when I need it.” She sighed. “Ricardo couldn’t get away from me fast enough when I got sick, and he definitely wasn’t there when I had Livvy. As soon as things got a little bit hard, he dropped me.”

He wanted to point out that he hadn’t dropped her. That things had gotten hard, and he’d stepped up. But he hadn’t done that to earn brownie points. He’d done it because...he wanted to.

“You didn’t do that. I want a man like you.” She looked up, meeting his eyes as he glanced down at her. He knew his mouth was hanging open, but he didn’t know how to get it closed and wipe the surprise off his face.

She laughed. “I can see I surprised you. I’m not saying that I’m going to force you to marry me, and I understand our history. It’s not the best, and it’s my fault. I can apologize, but I can’t erase it. I can’t make you think any better of me—”

“You don’t have to try to make me think better of you. I already think the world of you.”

She tilted her head and glanced at him. He tightened his hands on the stroller. He didn’t want to mess this up. He wanted to say all the right words, but there just wasn’t anything in his head. Especially after she had said that she wanted a man just like him. He wanted to take that as a compliment, but part of him said, instead of saying a man just like him, she should have said him. Just him.

“Still, I can’t take that away. And I don’t expect you to forget.”

“I don’t think that’s something I could forget, but I do think it’s something that we could work past.” He said those words cautiously, because he wasn’t quite sure what she was saying. Did she want him? Or didn’t she? And then he figured it probably shouldn’t matter. He could just tell her how he felt, and then she could say whether she wanted him or not. The thing was, if she didn’t want him, it was going to be awkward while they redefined their relationship after he admitted that he still loved her just as much, if not more than he used to.

“Do you think we could?” she asked, and there was definitely hope in her voice.

“I would like to. I...just asked Livvy for permission to marry you. I’m not sure that she said yes, but she seemed pretty happy about it. You’ve noticed she’s smiling, right?”

“Yes, isn’t she cute? Wait. What? You...asked Livvy, my daughter, if you could marry me?” Her steps slowed as she put her fingers on his forearm. He slowed with her. “As in...you’d marry me?”

“As in, I have a ring, and I showed it to her. I think she liked it. I asked her if she thought I could give it to her mommy, and then I thought maybe it was too soon. Maybe I would be pushing you. Maybe you didn’t feel the same about me as I feel about you. I thought that maybe I should ask.”

They’d made it down to the bottom of the drive, but instead of turning on the sidewalk to walk up to the healing garden, they stopped and faced each other.

“You’re kidding, right?” she said faintly.

“Why? Is it that scary to think about marrying me?” He knew that that was the problem last time, it scared her. She was afraid to commit. She ran away instead. “Am I going to make you run away again? I’ve been worried about that.”

“No. I’m not running. I decided that that part of my life is over. No more running. I stand and face things, no matter how much I would like to leave. I need to work things out with people, rather than walking away from them. I think that’s more biblical.”

“I definitely agree with you. I don’t see any instances where Jesus walked away from people. He went through the hard parts of the relationship, and he just kept forgiving and loving and serving and... That’s what I want to do.”

“I don’t want to make you have to do that. A relationship with me shouldn’t be all about walking through the fire all the time.” She looked a little annoyed. It made him smile.

“I think there are going to be plenty of good times. If you’re saying what I think you’re saying.”

She paused, looking up at him, and then whispered, “That I love you?”

He closed his eyes. He’d waited for years to hear her say that. Literally years. He couldn’t believe that she just had, and he wanted to hear the words again

“Now you’re the one who’s scared?” she asked, a little bit of fear creeping into her voice.

“No. I’m the one who wants to hear them again.”

“I love you.” She smiled as he opened his eyes and saw her lips spread upward.

He put his hand in his pocket, pulled out the box, and knelt down on one knee.

Opening the lid, he said, “This is the ring Livvy approved of. I bought it back when we were together before and had been planning to ask you to marry me...sometime. I wasn’t sure when. But I carried it around with me a few times and had it in my pocket the day you told me you were leaving. I don’t think that means it’s bad luck, I just wanted you to know that I hadn’t bought it for someone else. It was yours all these years.”

She lifted a finger and touched the edge of the box. “It’s beautiful. I can’t believe you had it that long. That you bought it when you were, what, nineteen?”

“Yeah. It was pretty expensive, and I was tempted to sell it to finance my internship, but I just couldn’t let go. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”