Page 5

“Months? You mean years,” Amara said, giving Olive a playful slap on her forearm. “There were times I had no idea where you were.”

“That was the other thing. I really wanted to know my family. I think Mom and Dad’s death brought that home even more. I have no idea who they were.”

“I didn’t really know them either. Kind of makes me sad.” Amara looked down at her lap.

“I feel like that’s their fault. But you’re right, I didn’t know them, either. I wish I would have. And all the good memories that I have are associated with this town. Why would I live somewhere else? Why would I think that I can build something better? I just want to be happy with simple things. With ministering beside my husband.” When Mertie said ‘beside her husband,’ her face broke out into a huge smile, and her eyes got the kind of glow that a woman who was in love had.

“It’s too bad the three of us can’t do something together,” Olive said, thinking that she still needed a job for a couple of months. Maybe she wouldn’t be able to be back to stay until the inheritance kicked in. She could hardly ask her sisters to spot her until then. Well, she could, but she didn’t want to. The bond they were forming was more important to her than anything, and borrowing money from someone didn’t exactly scream let’s build a bond and get closer. It just meant that the other person was wondering whether it would get paid back, and the borrower was wishing they didn’t have to.

“Maybe we can,” Mertie said, putting her finger on her chin and thinking. “Everyone has businesses online nowadays. Surely there is something that the three of us could do together that would help us grow closer to each other and also make us money at the same time.” Then she laughed. “All right. Maybe we should just be thinking about something that would bring us closer together, and I need to shut off the business part of my brain.”

“You and me both. I had the same thought. We could start a business together. But I don’t want that stress. And I don’t need it. I want to be available any time Hobert wants me to go on the boat with him. That’s part of why I quit my job in Chicago. So I didn’t have to be tied down.”

Olive kept quiet. She really wanted them to get something started, so she didn’t have to... She wasn’t even sure. She didn’t have enough money to put a down payment to rent an apartment, and she was going to have to give her borrowed car back. She basically had nothing, and it felt like a very long, hard road to get her head even above water, let alone having a stable life for her child. Maybe she should have given her up for adoption, but not in Ecuador.

“How hard was it to give your baby up? I mean, not the emotional impact, but red tape wise?”

“Garnet handled most of it,” Mertie said immediately, her voice sad and thoughtful. “I just basically dumped her on him, and he reached out to me a few times for some signatures and that type of thing, and he handled it all. I guess I really can’t tell you.”

She shrugged and then looked down at her drink, swirling the ice in the glass and listening to the clinking sound.

“I might have to do that.” There. She got the words out in the open; it wasn’t an easy thing to say or admit, but it was true. She wasn’t even sure she could take care of herself, let alone her baby. She didn’t know why she thought she would arrive in Raspberry Ridge and magically everything would be okay.

“Why?” Mertie and Amara said immediately, looking up at her in surprise and shock.

“I mean we have that money from our parents, you’re going to be rolling in it.” Amara’s face held concern.

“But I don’t have anything now.”

“You have a car,” Mertie started, as though she were listing off all the things that Olive had so she could figure out what they needed and what they could do with what they had.

“It’s a borrowed car. I have to have it back by the end of the week.”

“Oh,” Mertie said.

“How much do you have in your bank account?” Amara asked. “If you don’t mind me asking,” she added quickly.

She was the one who had brought up the subject, so if they asked questions, she ought to at least be willing to answer them. And she had to admit, it felt good to be talking to her sisters about it.

“I don’t have anything,” she said, hating that when the words came out, her stomach clenched.

She had rededicated her life to the Lord, but she hadn’t gotten a hold of this not fearing thing. She was scared to death about the future. Scared that she was going to lose her daughter or not be able to take care of her.

“That’s the last can of formula I have.” She didn’t mean to be all gloom and doom, but it was the truth.

“Don’t worry about that. I...have a little bit of a nest egg, and I’m pretty sure that Garnet is not going to want to start his ministry here in Raspberry Ridge by allowing his sister-in-law to starve. So, what’s ours is yours.”

“No. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to live off of you guys. I want to have a family relationship with you, not a parasitic relationship.”

“You would do the same for me.”

“Yeah. Except I’ve been traveling so long, I didn’t even know you needed help with your baby.”

“That was long before you were trotting the globe. And I know you would have helped me if I asked. I just couldn’t ask. It’s...not easy.” Mertie’s voice softened. “I really understand that.”

“I appreciate the fact you do, so...maybe you could help me get a job. Or let me work somehow. But I can’t just take money.”

“All right. We’ll figure something out. Garnet has a unique position in the community, and if there are job openings, I’m sure he’s probably going to hear about them. That’s one thing that a pastor does get—all the gossip. Hopefully he doesn’t pass it along though, not the salacious type anyway.”

“Amen,” Mertie said, and while she was grinning, there was a serious look on her face.

“We don’t want a pastor like that, but I don’t think we have to worry about Garnet. He’s so reliable and upright.”

“Any man can fall,” Mertie said softly. “But I have as much faith in him as I do in anyone. More actually. He’s a good man.”

For some reason, those words made Olive sad. Why couldn’t she find a good man? Why, after all her years of traveling around the globe, resisting the advances of scores of men, had she fallen for someone who was not just married but a liar as well, ready to ditch her at the slightest hint of trouble? She’d really picked a winner.

Frustrated with herself, scared, and unsure, she set her glass down on the table in front of her.

“I was going to go to the church to pray earlier. I think it’s probably cleared out by now, and unless you guys have more things you want to talk about, I kind of would like to take a walk.”

She reached down to pick up the car seat where her baby slept.

“If you don’t mind, maybe I can watch her sometime? I just... I’m an aunt, two times over, and I just found out about both of them.”

“Yes, absolutely.” But she didn’t suggest that Amara do it just then. Maybe it was because she’d just been thinking she should have given her baby up. She hated the thought - it tore her up inside and she wanted her baby close.

“I’m sorry you didn’t know about Dabney,” Mertie said as soon as Olive answered. Then she shifted. “I actually have some phone calls I need to think about. And make first thing tomorrow. I might be able to get away with sending a couple of emails, but there are some people I need to talk to. Winding down a ministry is going to mean that there are going to be some people out of jobs, which I hate, but... I know this is the decision I need to make.”

“I don’t understand why you couldn’t continue in that ministry and still marry Garnet.” It was true, Olive had no idea why she actually needed to quit her ministry. In fact, it seemed like a silly thing to do. To give up the opportunity to be making money. Olive hadn’t seen any numbers, but she was pretty sure that the Raspberry Ridge pastorate didn’t pay a whole lot.

“Because when I do something, I put everything I have into it. Everything. And if I’m going to have a ministry, I’m going to throw myself into it with my whole heart and soul. I can’t do that and raise a child as well. Can’t do that and be a pastor’s wife. I... I had to make a choice, and honestly, it wasn’t even that hard.”

She nodded, still not understanding but not wanting to question her sister either.

Maybe it was just something that she had to live through herself, or maybe when she needed it, God would change her heart. After all, when she was trotting around the globe, she couldn’t imagine someone wanting to stay in one place for very long, but now, she had absolutely zero desire to continue traveling and only wanted to put roots down. Preferably with a house and somewhere she could raise her daughter. It was true God took away desires that didn’t align with His will at times. Of course, she knew other people who struggled all their lives with desires that were not right and were obviously not things that God wanted.

Lord, why have You helped me so freely, while other people struggle?

It was one of the reasons that she had known that there was a God, because He came to her aid so quickly. Answering her requests. If she didn’t have her prayers answered, would she still believe in God?

Or maybe she should ask, if God said no to her requests, since God always answered prayer.

She wasn’t sure. She hoped that God gave her a chance to get a little more grounded in Christianity before she had to go through a trial like that.

“Are you okay with her?” Amara asked as Olive picked up the car seat and turned toward the door.

“Yes. I guess I just want to be close to her right now.” She didn’t try to explain how she felt after thinking about giving her baby up. She couldn’t put that terrible feeling into words.

“We might mosey on down to Fran’s store and see if she has some formula.”

“You don’t need to buy formula for me.”

“It’s a gift for my sister and my niece. Plus, if I can afford to do it, and someone needs it, it’s a sin for me not to. James says, ‘Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.’”

Wow. “How did you even know that was in the Bible?”

“You can’t really know what’s in the Bible unless you’re reading it, can you?”

“I’ve read it, and I never saw that verse.”

“It’s kind of funny how sometimes when you’re reading, certain verses jump out at you. I think that’s how you know that it’s the Bible, first of all, and secondly, sometimes God will speak to you through the verses He has you see.”

That was something else she wanted to add to her list of things that she was going to do, start reading her Bible more. Every day.

So many things, so many ways she wanted to improve her life, and she felt like she’d wasted so much of it.

But it wasn’t wasted if she used the lessons that she learned from doing the wrong thing to help her do the right thing and maybe even show others how to do the right thing. If she used those lessons to point her in the direction that she needed to go and allowed them to remind her that she didn’t want to be that person anymore.

“I’ll be back,” she said before she walked out the door.