Page 2 of Into the Dawn (The Devil’s Claw #3)

2

BEN

W e both remain quiet for a few long minutes as Vanessa pouts and I think about my rapidly shifting plan. I can feel her guilt, and my heart goes out to her. As angry as I am, I know deep down that she’s always liked John, and I really doubt she had any part in his disappearance.

But can she honestly say she tried to help him?

She’s quiet for so long, that I’m starting to get suspicious about what she’s up to, when finally, her voice, smooth as honey and still with the ability to make my pulse race, reaches me once more.

“I came to the cave to help you. I know you don’t want to believe that, but it’s the truth. You might still be angry at me, Ben, but you know I’m not like Jed.”

A pang of something pierces my heart at her sad tone, and I mull over her words, reluctantly agreeing that she’d never help her brother hurt Kali. When we were kids, they were best friends until her family found out we were all hanging out and put a stop to it.

“Then why didn’t you? Help, I mean. We could have done with any extra set of teeth. Or some forewarning they were going to do something stupid.”

Even just a call. If she’d called the bar and told Evan what was going to happen, we could have gotten there faster. Maybe nobody had to die.

Vanessa laughs darkly and kicks out again, but this time, without much real force. “They trust me with information about you or Sutton about as much as you trust me right now. I didn’t know until it was too late.”

Vanessa was always the black sheep of her family. Funny and smiling all the time, she never accepted their bleak, bitter outlook on life. And Jed never forgave her for not being miserable. He said she acted like she was better than them all, and he was right—she is better than them all, but she never thought like that.

“I saw the boys leaving. I knew they were up to no good, so I followed them. But I have to live with them. If they got too close to Kali, I would have stepped in, but it looked like her mate had it pretty much handled.”

I’m not so sure about that. Without Jack and I, Griffin and Kali would have been outgunned, but there’s no point debating that now. Not when there are much more important things on my mind.

“How did you find the caves?” Vanessa turned up outside the caves Kali was hiding in. Caves that nobody in my family seemed to know about.

“John mentioned them once, must have been when we were hanging out at the ranger station. I figured Kali might have remembered they were close by.” That’s a blatant lie. Her voice drops to a whisper. “Plus, I could track your scent anywhere.”

Her reference to the bond, like it’s something precious to her, makes me angry. My temper bubbles to the surface despite my promise to myself that I wouldn’t let her see how much she still haunts me.

“John never told you about the caves. Don't bullshit me, Nessie.”

I wince as my nickname for her slips off my tongue with ease. Her silence tells me she noticed it, too. After a beat, she clears her throat and answers calmly, thankfully, choosing not to draw attention to my mistake.

“He did. Why would I make that up?” She insists. “Don't forget, you weren’t the only ones John looked out for. He didn't hate me on sight just because the rest of my family are dicks, and I’m so grateful to him for that. He knew I had a sucky family at home, and he let me hang out because of that.”

My denial is on the tip of my tongue, but I hesitate. She was close with John. And I can admit that, at the time, I was more focused on my own problems. Vanessa had parents, while mine were AWOL. But I guess just because they’re present, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re any good. She had her shit to deal with too.

“I guess.” I concede, still not willing to give her the satisfaction of admitting that I believe her. “He did love to take in strays.”

Vanessa chuckles darkly. Not everyone in Sutton was keen to see Vanessa hanging around. It was okay when she was younger, but once we hit our teenage years, nobody's parents wanted to end up with her family as in-laws.

Except John. The welcome mat was always still out for everyone, no matter what.

Damn it, maybe he did tell Vanessa about the cave. I mean, he was always talking about climbs and adventures that he was on, and I wasn’t around every second she was there. Or paying attention.

It's not beyond the realms of possibility that he told me and Evan, but we just weren't listening.

Especially if Vanessa was around. She always had a way of distracting me. Even before I realised who she was to me, I was captivated by her. Then as we grew older and it became clear my interest was more than just a schoolboy crush, I went from captivated to obsessed.

She was all I thought about. Dreamt about. We’d planned our entire lives out during long evenings on the porch and morning runs in the forest. I thought we had it all figured out.

“When did he tell you?” I ask, still suspicious, frowning as the sky and my mood start to darken. The pale orange and pink sky turns to vibrant oranges and reds, bathing the treetops in an amber glow. “And when did you tell Jed about it?”

If Vanessa was sitting beside me instead of tied up in the back, she’d love this sky. It’s beautiful, like a fire burning across the treetops.

“Years ago,” she says cryptically, attempting to avoid giving me a straight answer.

A laugh of disbelief bursts from me before I can stop it, and I shake my head. I don’t know why I’m pushing it. Maybe it doesn’t even matter. Just that it’s there, and connects her clan to our territory. A way for someone to sneak in and out that John kept secret.

“Do you really think being vague is going to be enough to shake me off your tail? When, Vanessa? Six years ago, three months ago, last week…”

I can hear the blood rushing through my veins as I listen eagerly for her reply. This is what we've been searching for: some answers, at last.

“Just before the girls started going missing.” Her voice drops. “I told John when one of the girls went missing near there. I told him that Jed used to go for these… long runs, with a new friend he made in Sutton. And then… John was just gone.”

So Scott had a friend.

Even though I knew it was coming, hearing her admit that John didn’t just get lost in the mountains, that he didn’t just collapse and die out there like everyone said, is validating. He figured out who was using the caves, and he paid a price for it.

Evan and I spent months searching the hills every chance we got. We would have found him if he were dead. He couldn’t have just disappeared without a trace.

“Where is he now?” My voice is barely more than a growl as the idea of someone taking John, manhandling him, hurting him, sets my teeth on edge. He’s human. Fragile.

My beast is furious. He wants vengeance.

“I didn’t know they had him, I swear. But then I picked up his scent one day in one of the outhouses and confronted Jed about it. They kept him there for a few days but moved him before I could sneak in.”

Her words are like a knife to my heart. She had weeks to find a way to tell me. Or even to get in touch with Evan, if she really didn’t want to talk to me again. But she kept quiet and left us to agonise and mourn a man we believed never died in the first place.

“Do you hate me that much?” I whisper, my fingers wrapped around the steering wheel, needing something to hold onto as my world tilts on its axis. “You knew he was alive, and you even knew where he was, yet you didn’t get word to us?”

Vanessa lets out a pitiful sob. “They were watching my every move. And as soon as Jed realised I knew, they moved him. And I have no idea where. I wanted to be able to tell you more than where he used to be. I’ve been trying to find him again ever since. Or at least figure out what they did with him.”

If he’s dead, is what she’s trying to say. She doesn’t know if he’s still alive but that doesn’t mean he’s dead.

Closing my eyes, I fight back the wave of despair creeping over me. It's dark presence wraps around me, trying to pull me down into the depths with it. My beast wants to be let loose, to hunt Jed down and destroy him. I’ll let him soon, but I need to find John first. I won’t give up.

“I find it hard to believe you know nothing .” My tone is chilly. At this moment, Vanessa isn’t my mate, or my former best friend, she’s just the person who’s been keeping valuable intel from me. And I’m pissed.

Vanessa’s clearly not in a good mood, either. Her words drip with sarcasm as she responds to my accusation.

“You’re right, Ben. You got me. All this time, I've been John’s trusted guard. Even though my family knows that I was head over heels in love with you, they decided that I was the best person to keep him prisoner.” She sighs. “Use your brain, Ben. Even they’re not that stupid.”

I scowl at her snarky tone, even as my insides twist at her saying she loved me. I used to think she did, but I’m not that naive anymore.

“He’s not dead,” I say with more conviction than I feel. “And you never really loved me, Vanessa. Otherwise we’d still be together. That's how mates work… if you give a shit about anyone but yourself, that is.”

It still stings. More than stings. It cuts down to the bone. I clearly loved her far more than she ever cared for me. I can still feel the total and utter devastation when I realised she wasn’t coming. After all our careful planning, she wasn’t running away with me. She stood me up and it crushed me.

“I don’t think he’s dead either,” she says in a small voice, choosing wisely not to get into a debate with me about the demise of our relationship. Because she doesn’t have a leg to stand on. “Jed would have rubbed it in my face if he were. There’s no way he’d pass up an opportunity to torment me.”

Frustrated, I pound the steering wheel with my fist. It’s getting dark, which means another night of waiting, another day that John spends locked up, god only knows where, enduring all sorts of misery. All because I didn’t look hard enough, and Vanessa was too scared to tell us what was going on.

“Jed will kill me if he finds out I told you.”

Nodding to myself, I have to acknowledge, she’s right. They’re horrible people, bad right through to their cores, and bringing Evan and me to their doorstep would be a step too far. They’d end her life for that betrayal, family or not. My beast’s innate protectiveness kicks in. In his eyes, she’s still her mate. He won’t do something to cause her harm.

“I’ll talk to your dad. Arrange a swap. He doesn’t have to know.”

Vanessa laughs. “If you think they’ll give you John for me you’re sadly mistaken.”

It’s a sorry state of affairs when a father isn’t willing to trade a hostage for his own flesh and blood, but Rusty was never normal, and I can see the holes in my plan already. If I manage to get John back, he’ll tell the law. Rusty knows that. Especially if Jed was involved with the murdered women in Sutton.

Vanessa’s father is never going to let John go willingly. He’ll close ranks and kill him to protect his son.

“Well then, failing that, just tell me how to get in unseen, and I'll go in there and get him back myself. I won't tell them where I got the information if I get caught.”

Simple.

She mutters a string of expletives. “Do you have a death wish? You need to come up with a better plan than that. Or an army. Plus, you’re forgetting one tiny detail? I don’t know where he is.”

From the muffled sound of her voice, I can tell she's got her face buried in her hands as she deliberates over what to do. It's the same pose she had sitting on John's front porch the first time I put the idea of us running away together to her.

She was merely hesitant then, afraid her family would come after us. Afraid they'd go after Evan for retribution. Eventually, I convinced her to go, or, thought I had. That we were in love. We were mates. That was all that was important, and the rest would work itself out.

Maybe I pushed her too hard, and she only agreed to leave to keep me happy, then changed her mind back again. I’ve tortured myself with the details countless times, never really having a proper answer.

Because I stuck to the plan and left, but she didn’t follow, and I haven’t heard from her since. But now that she’s here, I’m too bull-headed to ask her why. It’s not going to fix things between us anyway.

I never told anybody what happened, just stayed away, working and travelling and distracting myself from the pain. The line I gave everyone was that I wanted a change of scene. Then I slunk back with my tail between my legs to help out when Evan bought the bar.

It was too fucking embarrassing to admit the truth, that my own mate didn’t want me.

So I pretended that it didn’t happen, and that she didn’t exist because it was easier. I could fool myself into thinking I didn't really care that she’d ditched me.

But who am I kidding?

She's my mate. And I'm still fucking furious.