Page 60 of Ink and Ashes

Holland

“ Y ou heard that?” Colson asks, his eyes glassy.

I tilt my head down. “Every word,” I rasp. My throat is dry and sore, likely from the amount of smoke I inhaled during the fire. My mind is foggy, but bits and pieces are slowly coming back to me. “He’s really dead? This is over?”

Colson nods, his thumb trailing over my hand where he holds it. “Yeah, Red. It’s over. He’s gone.”

I let out a sigh of relief as tears well in my eyes, and I don’t bother fighting them. It sounds awful, but I’ve never been so relieved to hear someone has died.

A sob racks through me, and Colson wastes no time wrapping his arms around me. He wedges himself into the bed beside me, pulling me against him.

“You’re okay, baby,” Colson says, pressing a kiss to the crown of my head. “I’m never going to let anything happen to you again.”

I squeeze my eyes shut as the tears fall harder, and I relax against him, letting him be my strength for a little while.

Eventually, the doctor returns to check on me, and after quickly checking that my vitals are stable, he asks, “Are you up for some more visitors?”

I don’t think twice before I nod, and a moment later, the entire crew, as well as Mary, Emmett, Stacy, Will, and George fill the small room. Cassidy is the first one by my side, and Colson stands from the bed to let her close enough to hug me.

But he doesn’t let go of my hand while she does.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Cass says as she hugs me tight. “You really scared us, Hol.”

I squeeze my eyes shut as I hug her back, trying to keep the tears at bay. “I know. I scared me too,” I admit. She pulls away with watery eyes and a relieved smile on her face, then moves aside for others to do the same.

It’s overwhelming as hell having everyone here so soon after waking up, especially when my mind is still so fuzzy. But it also takes everything in me not to burst into tears again knowing that they’re all here for me .

The last thing I expected when I first arrived here was that I’d make a home for myself, with people I care about and people who care about me too.

But as I glance around at all the faces, I realize I’ve done exactly that.

It may not have been intentional, but I’ve come to learn that things don’t always go as planned.

And that’s okay. Because sometimes, what you end up with is even better.

If the me from four months ago could see me now, she’d think I’m insane.

But if there’s anything this whole experience has taught me, it’s that it’s okay to follow your heart.

In all my twenty-nine years on this planet, I’ve never once prioritized what I want over what’s expected of me, and the pressure I’ve put on myself to be perfect in every aspect of my life has been unbearable.

I may have come here with the intention of redeeming myself, but somewhere along the way, I think I stopped needing to prove myself to everyone else and just started trying to prove myself to me .

This case did that for me. I stuck to my guns and figured it out.

I may have almost died in the process, but I’m here.

I’m alive, and Welland isn’t. That’s enough for me to know that I do have what it takes to be on my own, that my successes are mine and mine alone.

And now that this case is over, I can finally let go of the expectations of everyone else.

I can let go of my hopes of getting my old job back, and I can let go of the desire to prove myself to people who couldn’t care less about me.

This case was closure for me—the final piece of the puzzle, shutting the door to my life back in Toronto. Deciding to stay in Ember Grove is the one choice I’ve made with only me in mind, and no matter what happens next, I will never regret it.

“Are you ready?” Colson asks as he stands behind me, holding his hands over my eyes.

I was released from the hospital this evening after a twenty-hour stay, and we came straight to the station.

I was dying to just go home and rest and shower , but Colson insisted we stop here first. He stayed at the hospital with me the entire time I was there, so I assumed he just had to pick something up.

But when he made me close my eyes before we pulled up, I realized there was more to it.

With a smile on my face, I nod. “Let me see.”

He chuckles. “Okay. On the count of three…”

He counts up, and as he says “three,” he removes his hands and crosses his arms over my shoulders. I grab hold of his forearm as I slowly open my eyes, and at the same time, a chorus of people shouts, “Surprise!”

It takes a second to adjust to the light, but when I see the giant banner with Welcome Home Holland painted across it, tears sting the backs of my eyes. I glance up at Colson, and the look on my face is enough to convey the question.

“I love you, Red, but I don’t have a single artistic bone in my body. This was all Cass.” He presses a kiss to my forehead as he leans down to whisper in my ear. “I have other plans for how I’ll welcome you home.”

I grin, my mind going all sorts of dirty places.

“Later, though.” He removes his arms and jerks his chin in the direction of the crew. Cass makes her way over with a huge smile on her face, and her arms are around me a moment later.

“Thank you for this,” I mutter into her hair as I stare up at the banner.

She places her hands on my shoulders as she pulls back and says, “Of course, Hol. This is your home now. And it’s where you were always meant to be.”

I swallow the tears down again as I nod, hugging her once more. “Yes. It is.”

I say hello and thank you to the rest of the crew, then we all make our way inside the station. Caleb cooked a massive feast for everyone, so we take our seats at the dining table, everyone chatting as if everything’s gone right back to normal.

As if their own fire chief didn’t die just yesterday.

As if I didn’t nearly die yesterday.

The past twenty-four hours have been so chaotic, I haven’t really let it sink in that I was almost killed. I’d given up on fighting, unable to keep myself alive for as long as it took for Colson to save me.

Only, I did. Somehow, I managed to stay alive until he got to me.

I still have no idea how I made it out with such minimal injuries while Welland died , but I’ve been counting my blessings ever since.

Someone was looking out for me in that basement, because there’s no other reasonable explanation for why I made it out and he didn’t.

Except for the man sitting next to me.

Colson is the reason I made it out of there. Even when I’d given up, he never did. He found me, and he brought me back. And knowing that only makes me love him that much more.

There’s a danger in falling in love with a man like Colson Caldwell.

He’s rugged and guarded, his walls built tall to keep himself safe.

But it’s a fight I’d face all over again to keep being loved by him too.

Because when he lets it in, his love runs deeper than any I’ve ever known, and there’s no doubt in my mind that right here with him is where I’m meant to be.

I’ve longed my whole life for a love like the one I’ve found in Ember Grove—the kind of love Colson has shown me. It’s the kind you see in movies, that makes you want to shout from rooftops and dance in the pouring rain. Until I met him, I wasn’t sure a love like this actually existed.

Now, I’m positive it does.

And I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

I lace my fingers through his on the table and he smiles at me.

Hours pass in the firehouse dining room, everyone enjoying each other’s company and appreciating what it means to be alive.

When we finish eating, Ethan and Hayden are put in charge of clean-up duty while others start to make their way out.

We say our goodbyes until the only people left with Colson and me are Dom, Beau, Liv, Cass, and Sam.

I yawn and Colson looks to me, his hand wrapped around mine.

“I think it’s time I get you home too, don’t you think?”

I smile, devious thoughts running through my mind. I may be exhausted, but I have a feeling I’m going to get a second wind. “Please.”

He nods with a grin, then we say our goodbyes. Colson leads me downstairs, the two of us silently walking hand-in-hand through the bay. His hand flexes in mine as we make our way past the fire engine, and the moment it does, I stop.

As if he can read my mind, he gently pushes me back against it and slams his lips to mine. Memories of our first real kiss in this exact spot come rushing back to the forefront of my mind and I relax into him, giving him full control.

It’s only been a day since the last time we kissed like this, but I need him more now than I ever have before. Nearly dying has me seeing things in a new light; appreciating being in the moment.

And in this moment, all I want is Colson.

“I don’t want to wait ‘till we get home,” I whisper between kisses, my fingers clawing at his shirt .

Colson groans, pulling my bottom lip between his teeth before shaking his head. “Baby, not here. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You could never hurt me.”

“We need to take things slow. You just got out of the hospital.”

“And I’m okay. I’m still here .” I grasp his shirt tighter. “Be here with me, Colson.”

The fire in his eyes grows brighter as he clenches his jaw, but he doesn’t give in yet. He simply pulls me tighter against him, as if I’m going to disappear in front of his eyes.

After everything that’s happened over the past few months, his walls have been built high again, and I can’t say I blame him.

He’s lost so much, and even though this ended as well as it could have, it wasn’t easy.

I think it’s going to take some time for him to fully accept that everything’s okay now—that Welland is really dead, and that I’m very much not.

But I plan on reminding him that I’m not going anywhere as much as he needs to hear it.