Page 48 of Ink and Ashes

Holland

T oday is day seventeen.

It’s currently just past eleven o’clock in the morning, and as far as I know, there hasn’t been a call yet.

But unless the arsonist really is Ollie—which it’s not—we know one is coming today.

I’m relying on Cass to keep me in the loop, since I know Colson may not have a chance to shoot me a text once it comes in.

He left around seven, heading in early to make sure everything’s ready for when they get the call.

I made sure to get up with him and say goodbye, since there’s a good chance I won’t see him again for a few days.

Since he left, I’ve been pacing between his living room and the office, checking my phone every two minutes.

My focus is shot, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t get my mind off him.

Today’s fire will be the first one they’ve had since Finn’s death.

It’s been just over two weeks since then, and as if the weather knew they needed a break, it’s rained on and off for the past seventeen days.

There have been dry spells that resulted in holdover fires, but BCWS has managed to control those, so most of Ember Grove’s resources have been directed toward preparing for today’s.

Since the church fire, I’ve had an unsettled feeling in my gut about the fire we’re expecting today.

Something tells me that despite the rain we’ve been having, the arsonist will find a way to make this the worst one yet.

After what happened with Finn, I haven’t been able to get the thought out of my head that someone else is going to get hurt today.

It doesn’t help that I’m on my third cup of coffee of the morning, but I’ve needed something to do besides worrying.

Everything that has happened over the past few days has only made me more confused.

I’ve spent every day since meeting with Colson’s parents down at the police station trying to dig more into the Wellands, but I’m still coming up empty.

There’s nothing to suggest that Joseph Welland is still around, and it does make me wonder if the note left for Colson’s dad was another attempt to trick us.

I mean, it would make sense. The arsonist tries to frame a dead man, so we continue coming up empty.

But I’m not so sure it’s that simple. I’ve wondered all along if Joseph Welland is somehow involved in this.

If maybe there’s someone he met in the ten years after he left Ember Grove who has now come back to do what he can’t.

But leaving the note for Colson’s dad seems strange, regardless of whether it’s Joseph or someone else. He really hasn’t been involved in this case, so aside from the fact that he’s Colson’s dad, he has no connection to it.

Then again, he was on the scene of the original fire thirty years ago.

I remember Colson telling me his dad was a lieutenant at the time, so maybe that has something to do with it.

But a few of the other guys on the team were also around then, so why they chose to give it to Colson’s dad, rather than someone who was on the scene then and has been active during these fires too, is a question that won’t leave my mind.

I place my now-empty coffee mug in the sink, then rest my hands on the counter, staring out at the mountains. A vision of smoke billowing through them enters my mind, and in the next breath, I’m grabbing my keys and heading out to my car.

I can’t sit around here doing nothing any longer.

Once inside, I take off down Colson’s driveway with no specific destination in mind. At this point, I just need something to take my mind off of what today is.

But when I pull up in front of the fire station fifteen minutes later, not a single part of me is surprised that this is where I ended up.

I exit the vehicle, taking a quick glance up and down the street for anything out of the ordinary, then I make my way inside.

The bay is empty when I enter. It’s nearing lunch time, so I’m guessing everyone is up in the kitchen. I begin to make my way up there too when a voice stops me in my tracks.

“Holland?” Colson asks as he pokes his head around one of the fire trucks.

Our eyes connect, and a small smile breaks out on his face, my heart rate accelerating.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, wiping his hands on a rag.

“I, uh…” I roll my lips together, trying to think of an excuse. When I can’t, I admit, “I wanted to see you.”

Colson’s eyes darken at my response. “You just saw me this morning, Red,” he says, taking a step closer to me. The butterflies in my stomach take flight, and I curse my traitorous body for falling weak to him over a simple nickname.

But it works on me every time.

“I know, and I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since you left. I’ve been going crazy waiting for an update, so I decided to go for a drive, and, well…here I am,” I rush out.

Colson huffs a laugh, which prompts me to do the same. “Glad to know this thing between us isn’t all in my head then,” he mutters.

I swallow roughly. It’s definitely not.

“Where is everyone?” I ask.

“Up in the kitchen for lunch.”

“Why aren’t you up there with them? ”

He shrugs, taking another step closer. “Not hungry.”

I hum. “No calls yet?”

“No, and no one has left. Dom, Beau, and I have been keeping a close eye, but no one is acting unusual. If the arsonist is someone here, either they’re waiting until after shift to set it, using an incendiary device, or the fire is already burning and just hasn’t been spotted.

” He runs a hand through his hair. “Or Joseph Welland really is still alive and has been framing someone here all along.”

I blow out a breath. None of those are good options.

“Have you managed to find anything new since I left this morning?”

I shake my head. “I haven’t been able to focus enough to try.”

Colson grunts. “Feels like we’re never going to catch this guy, Red.”

“I know.”

I don’t bother trying to convince him we will. He’s heard that from me enough times by now, and each day that passes that we don’t makes me sound more and more like a liar. I wish I could tell him everything’s going to be okay, but even I’m beginning to wonder if that’s true.

It feels like we’ve been chasing a ghost.

Maybe we have been.

I stop in my tracks, the thought that I’ve had too many times since I arrived rushing back to the forefront of my brain. Only this time, I let it slip past my lips for Colson to hear.

“I’m scared, Colson. What if I can’t figure this out?”

“Hey.” He instantly steps closer, brushing my hair behind my ear.

“I know what I just said, but don’t think like that.

You’ve been nothing but determined since you got here, even with everyone in town pushing you away.

It feels like we’re stuck, but I have no doubt that you will get to the bottom of this. Don’t start questioning yourself now.”

I smile sadly. “I’ve been questioning myself since I arrived.”

“You have?” His brows pull together. “Why?”

I let out a sigh, keeping my eyes trained on the app floor.

“ After everything happened back home, I started wondering if I was really cut out for this job. And with the constant circles this guy has us running in, that feeling has only gotten stronger. I’ve lost my light, and I don’t know how to get it back. ”

He tilts my head up to look at him, and I inhale sharply as his weighted stare connects with mine.

His hand cups my cheek as he leans in close.

“You don’t need to get it back because it’s not gone.

I see your light, Holland. You burn so bright.

Brighter than any fire I’ve ever fought.

You just can’t see it right now because you’ve spent too long living in the shadows. ”

My tongue darts out over my lips, and his gaze tracks the motion. His thumb sweeps gently over my cheek while his other hand grips my waist, pulling me closer. I inhale sharply. This tension has been simmering between us for weeks, and the harder we fight it, the closer it gets to boiling over.

The two of us are like fire and paper. Eventually, one is bound to burn the other to ash. And yet, neither of us seem to be able to ignore the spark floating between us.

Before I give myself a chance to think twice about what I’m doing, I push up on my tiptoes and touch my lips to his. Except Colson doesn’t move. His entire body tenses and he stands there, frozen with our lips pressed together.

Realizing what I’ve done, I pull myself away and take a step backward. I’ve been the one persistent in keeping things friendly between us, yet here I am crossing that very line.

“I—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Oh, God. I’m sorry?—”

“It’s okay, Red,” Colson says calmly.

I vaguely notice him taking a step closer to me again as I start pacing. “Let’s just forget that happened. I was caught up in the moment and you were saying nice things?—”

“Holland,” he adds, but my mouth continues to move.

“It’s been a long time since someone has seen me the way you see me and?—”

“ Holland ,” he emphasizes, cupping my face to force my attention back to him. “Stop talking. ”

“I’m sor—” I start, but before I can finish my thought, he bends down and seals his lips over mine.

Holy shit. He’s kissing me . Again . And it’s even better than it was the first time.

He grips my waist as I let myself relax into him, kissing him back.

My hands make their way around his neck to tangle in his hair as his tongue swipes over my lip.

I grant him entry, letting out a moan as our tongues dance against each other.

A groan rumbles from his chest when I tug on the hair at the nape of his neck, and blood rushes to my core from that sound alone.

He breaks the kiss but keeps his forehead pressed to mine, our chests rising and falling in synchrony as he says, “I said stop talking .”

“Okay,” I breathe.

His lips quirk up into a smile as he shakes his head. “You’re a terrible listener.”

I bite my lip with a smile. “Maybe I just want you to shut me up again.”

He holds my stare a moment longer before giving me what I want.

The kiss isn’t rushed, but it isn’t soft either.

It’s hot, it’s passionate, and it’s the kind of kiss I’ve longed for my whole life.

His grasp on my waist tightens while our mouths stay fused together, exploring each other in a heated dance.

I don’t even notice we’re walking until my back presses against cool metal—the fire truck, I would guess.

I let out a moan as he pins me between himself and the truck, keeping my body pressed tightly against his.

“Holland,” he rasps, but I don’t have a chance to respond before he’s kissing me again. I drag my nails over his scalp, sending a shudder up his spine, and he smiles against my mouth.

“More,” I beg, gasping for air.

Colson shakes his head. “I can’t. Not here.” He pulls back further to look at me. “But when we get home tonight, you’re mine.”

Home . It’s been a long time since I had one of those.

“I like the sound of that.” I smile, wrapping my fingers in his shirt. “Except you and I both know you probably won’t be coming home tonight.”

His face falls at the reminder, but he masks it quickly. Just when he leans down to press his mouth to mine again, we’re interrupted by the sound of the klaxons.

Right on schedule.

My heart sinks into my stomach at the sound, and Colson swallows roughly.

He sighs. “I have to go.”

“I know.” I kiss him one more time. “I’ll save you a spot next to me. Be safe, Lieutenant.”

He presses his lips to my forehead. “You be safe too, Red.”