Page 165 of Indiscretion
I know who he means. I keep my tone gentle. “He’s a good man, El. He’s trying to impress you, you know.”
“I know.” A moment later, “But that doesn’t answer my question.”
I massage his scalp. “If you tell me to give him up because you’ll commit to me, at least let me secretly live with you, I will. But please make that decisionnow. Don’t drop it on us a few months or years from now. That’d be cruel. You will always be first in my life, and he knows it.”
This pause feels like a thousand forevers. He still hasn’t looked into my eyes and I feel the warmth of his breath through my shirt. “I don’t want to lose you, Leo.”
Cupping his face in his hands, I make him look at me. “You’renotlosing me, El. You’reneverlosing me. Not unless you’re going to tell me you’re done with me.”
He sniffles. “Hypothetically…what happens later?”
“You mean in sixteen years?” It guts me even thinking it’ll be that long before my pet’s officiallymine.
He nods.
I shrug. “Again, look at Shae, Chris, and Kev. Look at Carter, Owen, and Susa. We can make this work.”
Tears turn his eyes a bright, brilliant blue. “He won’t betray us?”
“Baby, he wouldn’t be here if I thought he would.” With my thumbs, I brush his tears away. “Even if you don’t ever want to sleep with him, that’s okay, too. We can be aVinstead of a throuple. I would like you to let me send him out with you as your body man when I can’t be with you. He’ll have your back. He’ll take care of you for me. I trust him to take care of you when I can’t be there for you.”
He breathes for a moment. “I…I’m not ready for him to work with me full-time. Sometimes, yes. Not every day. Not…yet.”
“That’s okay, pet.” I smile. “See? How easy was that? You set a boundary and I didn’t get upset.”
Elliot sucks in a shuddering breath. “But does he make youhappy?”
He’s not letting go of this. I lean in and kiss him. “Youmake me happy. He makes me happy in different ways. I’m not replacing you with him. He’s not a substitute, and he’s not a stand-in.” I press my forehead to his. “He balances me.” I breathe in his scent, my sweet, perfect pet. “If you think you can’t deal with this,please, tell menow, and I’ll send him back to Florida after the inauguration.”
“What if I decide later?”
A chill washes through me. “If that’s the case, I’ll send him back now. I won’t break his heart like that.” Or mine.
“Do you love him?”
I sit back, still cupping his face. “I loved you first.”
“Answer the question, Leo.”
“I love him, yes. But if you’re going to—”
“Don’t send him away.”
The psychologist is working overtime trying to decipher his tone, his intent, decoding my pet’s motivations. “Don’t use him as an excuse to distance yourself from me and break up with me, either. This isus,betweenus, and he is secondary.”
“I won’t, Master. I promise.” His gaze drops for a moment before returning to mine. “Did he really like the tie I got him? Don’t bullshit me. Don’t lie to me about what he thinks about me.”
I smile. “He did. He loved it even more when I explained the significance of it. You didn’t have to do that, pet, but my eyes might have leaked a little when he unwrapped it.” Elliot had already left the campaign office for the day when Jordan unwrapped it.
Finally, the corners of his mouth curl a little in a smile. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
His hands cover mine and squeeze. “Don’t let him leave. I might not be able to fall in love with him, but if you trust him, I’ll trust him. Maybe once I’m out of office and have time to actually relax, he and I can spend time alone and getting to know each other better.”
Melancholy relief fills me. That’s still sixteen years away, possibly. “Are you sure, pet?”
His thumbs stroke the back of my hands. “I’m sure, Master. Please don’t send him away. I don’t want you to be alone.” He lets go of my hands and reaches for my zipper while his blue eyes darken. “But I’m still going to be territorial.”
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