Page 128 of Indiscretion

We end up eating in the living room, sitting on the couch so we can talk. I force the subject off of us and onto other things, for a little while. I get him asking me questions about politics and DC and more.

He asks me about Shae…and Elliot. I hope it’s not obvious when I don’t spend nearly as much time talking about him as I do her and then divert the conversation to other topics.

Eventually, there’s a comfortable lull in our conversation.

The boy’s smile inspires wicked and evil thoughts in my sadist. “Do I pass the first barrier?”

“Depends. Are you comfortable agreeing to my terms so far?”

“So far.” He’s finished eating and sets his plate on the coffee table so he can turn to face me. “What happens if your partner demands we break up?”

“I’ve already given them several chances to tell me to stop this. They insist they want me to see other people.”

He cocks his head. “That doesn’t answer my question. Several years from now, if they can’t stand sharing you, and their situation changes so they can be out with you, I don’t want to get screwed over if they decide they can’t handle you and me being an item.”

I hope this isn’t a lie. “That’s why I want to take things slowly. Once you and I pass that point of no return, stopping this isn’t going to be an option.”

“And they’ll know that?”

“It goes both ways. You have to be okay with them, too.”

“Considering I don’t even know if they’re a real person or not…”

I want to spank him in fun ways for the playful smirk he’s wearing.

“Yeeesss,” I drawl. “Because I love mindfucks so much, I’m pretending to infinitely complicate my life with an imaginary lover, instead of diving in headfirst into a relationship with a really hot and intelligent and available guy I can’t get out of my mind. That checks out.”

He giggles. “Could be reverse catfishing. Bitches be crazy.”

Jordan makes melaugh.

There used to be a time when Elliot and I laughed a lot. Made each other laugh and smile.

“I’m faithful,” I say. “I honor my word. I’ve been with them for over six years now and I’m not walking away from them unless they tell me it’s over. They’d have to do something to violate my trust. Once you and I reach that point, the same would apply to you. I wouldn’t walk away from you unless you tell me you want me to go.”

“What about me walking away from you?” he quietly asks.

I feel an uncomfortable tug in my soul contemplating that. Yep, I’m a dumbass, all right. I already have it bad for the guy. “I will never force someone to be with me. That’s not me. You tell me it’s over, then it’s over. Unless or until that happens, I give you everything I have.”

“What’s left over from your other partner you mean?”

“That’s non-negotiable.” I study his expression. “If it’s a non-starter for you, I understand.”

“I didn’t say that.” He picks at a cuticle. “I don’t want to be an afterthought.”

“My job’s going to come first. I will spend the next four to eight years serving at the pleasure of the president. The only guarantee I can give you is that any ultimatums you try to give me regarding how much time I spend at work will make me walk. Just like I won’t make any regarding yours.”

“You don’t know what my job will be.” He glances up. “What if I go back to Florida?”

Another strong tug on my soul. “I can’t make you promises. I’d be open to that as long as you agreed to be monogamous with me. But a long-distance relationship will mean we won’t get much time together, unless you fly up to DC on the regular. That’s not very fair to you.” I have to be as honest with him as I can. “Part of my problem right now is that I’m lonely.”

“Would you date anyone else if I did go back to Florida?”

“That’s a hypothetical. I’ve had permission to date others for a while now and you’re the first person I’ve ever thought about doing this with. The first person insixyears. The chances of me meeting someone else I’d put myself out there for, who I think would tolerate the restrictions on my time, are slim to none. Especially once Senator Samuels is sworn in. Besides, if we’re doing this thing, I would be monogamous with you.”

He slowly nods but he’s staring at his finger. “And your partner.”

“Yeah. If you’re going to return to Florida and want to try this long-distance…” I lose where I’m going with that because I already have too much invested in this, in my head.