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Chapter Eighteen

PAYTON

“How’s married life treating you, little brother?

” Emalia stares at me from the small screen of my phone.

I glance toward my bedroom door. On the other side, Lily is cleaning up the kitchen, which she insisted on doing because I made dinner.

We ate in silence, just as we’ve done every evening after we got back from the away games.

If my sister only knew… “Frustrating as hell.”

Since our return, Lily’s been distant. She spends most of her time in her room now, writing those blasted reports she’s required to do daily. But I think she’s just avoiding me.

A laugh bubbles up as she throws her gaze upward. “Having trouble taking orders from your wifey?”

It’s not the restrictions that are troubling me, but I won’t explain that to my sister. “Keeping up this ruse is exhausting.”

She makes a tsking sound. “You’re the one who didn’t want to tell your friends the truth.”

“I know.” But I didn’t know, to be honest. Didn’t know how challenging this would be. Didn’t know how difficult deceiving my friends would become. And I didn’t know I could fall this hard for someone who’s determined to keep me in the ‘principal only’ zone .

“By the way, why did I have to find out you were injured from the reports? You should have called me.”

“Reports?” So that part’s true…

Emalia pulls back in surprise. “Of course, darling. I want to know what’s happening so I can keep an eye on my reckless brother.”

“I’m not reckless,” I say, sounding harsher than I intended.

She eyes me. “Those cracked ribs tell a different story.”

“Don’t blame me for that. I was simply playing hockey.”

“That’s my point.”

I sigh. Even when we were kids and I told my sister I wanted to be a professional hockey player, she laughed and said I needed to consider a more ‘worthy’ path.

“I’m fine now, Em. Nothing to worry about.”

Her somewhat peeved expression softens, and the vulnerable girl I remember from the past peeks out. “I do worry about you, Payton. You’re my brother. Mum does, too, by the way. You should call her before she finds out what happened from some other source.”

The knot in my stomach intensifies. I squeeze my eyes shut as I work up the courage to tell her about my encounter with Jennings.

“What is it, Payton? You’re making that face.” She frowns at me.

“What face?”

“The one you always make when you have something difficult to tell me.”

I take a deep breath. “The bloke who slammed me during the game knows who I really am.”

Emalia leans closer to the camera. “You mean…?”

I nod. “He suggested I go back to my real job as a royal wannabe in Tillendale.”

She appears thoughtful. “Though indelicate, he has a point. ”

“Emalia!” I draw her name out like I used to when we fought as children.

With a twist of her shoulders, she poses for dramatic effect. “Sorry, not sorry?”

“This could be terrible. What if he leaks it to the press?” I growl.

Worry flits through the same blue eyes we inherited from our mother.

“There’s a good chance he will, Payton. Perhaps you should drop the facade and tell everyone the truth.

That’s one way to get ahead of it and lessen the potential damage.

Or, better still, you could just use it as an excuse to come home. ”

She’s right about preempting this, but I’ve no idea how. Yet.

“I’ll mull it over.”

“The part about telling the truth or coming home?”

I shoot her a scathing look. “Don’t even go there.”

“Fine. I’ll leave it be.” She raises her hands in surrender, then hesitates. “By the way, what do you think of Lily?”

Every nerve in my body goes into full alert. What did Lily share in those reports? I school my expression to stay neutral. “She’s professional, diligent, and thorough.”

And stronger than she looks. I won’t mention that, though. But she’s also stunning, sexy as hell, and challenging in the best of ways. Should I add that she has a grip on my heart that may prove fatal to my future love life if I can’t have her?

She studies me, then her eyes widen. “You fancy her!”

I snort. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Emalia points at me. “There. I see it in your face. Has something happened between you two?”

“No! Of course not.” At least that’s the truth, even though I wish it weren’t.

“Admit it. You find her attractive.” My sister’s like a forward digging for a rebound in the crease. Relentless.

“I’d be a buffoon not to, but as I said earlier, she’s the epitome of professionalism.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear she’s immune to your charms.”

I’m not. Quite the opposite. Somehow, I have to figure out a way to up my game. Or use my charms, as my sister calls them, to better advantage.

Judging by my sister’s mysterious smile, something about this pleases her. “Why are you so interested in her?”

“I like her. We seemed to click when I interviewed her. I’m considering offering her a permanent position on my security detail.”

A permanent position?

In England?

Thousands of miles away from me?

Is that why Lily seems so determined to reject my every flirtation unless we’re pretending?

I’m almost certain she’s as attracted to me as I am to her, but she’s as elusive as a panther, and as strong, considering the way she flipped me over on the bed like a WWE wrestler.

Although, I will defend myself by saying I was half asleep.

“Does she know this?”

“I mentioned I’d be looking for a replacement for John. He’s retiring next month, so the timing is perfect for both of us.”

A little too perfect and quite the quandary for me. I run a hand over my mouth and mumble, “Indeed, it is.”

“What was that?” Her brows pinch together.

With a shake of my head, I wave it off. “Nothing, sis. Just agreeing with you.”

Do I try to convince Lily that the spark between us is worth pursuing or let it fizzle so she can pursue this potential position on my sister’s security detail? Knowing my sister, she’ll make it clear Lily is off limits, which will make going home for visits, at the very least, awkward .

“Payton, are you all right? You look haggard. Are you getting enough rest?”

I blink back to reality. “I’m fine, Mother.”

“That’s not funny.”

Squelching my grin fails. What’s funny is how much her glare resembles our mum, but I definitely won’t tell her that either. Honestly, I should know better than to poke that bear, but somehow I can’t resist. Teasing my sister has always been one of my favorite things to do.

“Sorry, not sorry?”

“Ugh, you’re such a brother.”

“I love you too, sis.”

After I finish my conversation with Emalia, I head to the kitchen where Lily’s washing the pots by hand. I love that she remembered they don’t go in the dishwasher. Her attention to detail is one of the many things I find so fascinating about her.

I grab a towel and dry the one sitting on the drainboard.

She continues to soap up the matching lid. “I can take care of that.”

“I don’t mind.” As I reach for the next pot, her hand brushes mine. Barely a touch, but my body reacts like she just leveled me into the boards.

Heat. Awareness. A sharp, almost painful jolt of something I shouldn’t feel but do, anyway. She pulls away, pretending as if it didn’t happen. As if I didn’t feel it. Like she didn’t feel it.

And maybe I should do the same. Be sensible and ignore the way my pulse is still hammering. Act like the professional I’m supposed to be. There are rules, after all, and she follows them as if they’re stitched into her bloody DNA.

For the first time, I don’t give a damn.

Not in the reckless way. Not in a complete ‘ let’s throw caution to the wind’ way. This isn’t just attraction, isn’t just something I can ignore and move on from. She’s under my skin, in my head, and has taken permanent residence in my heart. I couldn’t shake her even if I tried.

So maybe she’s right about the rules. Maybe I should be the one to let this go.

But screw it. I don’t want to.

“How was your chat with your sister?” As she places the pot on the drainboard, she tries to steer clear of touching me, which is almost as satisfying as watching her try to avoid what I know she’s already feeling.

But her question gives me pause. Is she asking out of genuine concern, or is this her subtle way of finding out if my sister mentioned her?

“Fine. I told her what happened. She thinks I should either come clean or go home.”

Lily turns off the water and faces me. “What do you want to do, Payton?”

Right now, I want to kiss her and explore her lips with mine. To feel her settle against me as if I were her safe place because she’s fast becoming mine. I want to know what it’s like to hold her and wake up to her smile every morning, to wash dishes with her in the evening.

I want this to be real because I’m in love with her.

The realization knocks the breath out of me almost as much as my run-in with Jennings. I clear my throat as I attempt to breathe normally. “I’m hoping for a third option.”

She considers me a moment, then takes the dish towel from me to dry her hands. “Sounds like you have some thinking to do.”

“I suppose I do.”

“Then I’ll let you get to it.” She leaves the kitchen, heading toward her room.

“More reports to write? ”

She stops short of her door and turns around. “That was my plan. Did you need me for something?”

Need you…want you…love you…

Great. I even sound like a sop in my thoughts. I slip my hands into the pockets of my trackies and casually close the distance between us. “Actually, I was thinking I’d like to go out to dinner tomorrow evening since there’s no game. Can you and your sidekick make that happen?”

“I’ll talk to Del about it.” Her emphasis is clear, but I don’t miss the way the corners of her mouth tip up ever so slightly.

“Good. Then it’s a date.”

“More like an arrangement.”

I hold my hands out. “Whatever you want to call it.”

Her brows dip with her frown. “Good night, Payton.”

“Good night, Lily.” I stand there, watching her until the last moment our gazes connect before she shuts her door.

She thinks this is impossible. That we can’t be anything more than this, but she’s wrong.

And I’m determined to prove it to her.