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Chapter Seventeen

LILY

“Are you sure Payton’s okay?” Sophie implores me with those giant eyes of hers from where she’s sitting cross-legged in the middle of her bed. Mia’s sprawled on the other one, yawning while trying to stay awake.

I’d have gladly gone to my room, but Sophie insisted I stop in for a quick chat. I know they’re both worried about Payton and about me because they assume, as his wife, I must be worried out of my mind.

They wouldn’t be too far off…I may not be married to Payton, but I am concerned. My job requires me to think ahead, plan accordingly, and move cautiously in all situations. But this fake marriage is hindering what I can do in the open.

At least Del can operate behind the scenes and investigate the situation. I sent her a cryptic message before we left the arena so she could look into how Jennings found out the truth about Payton, and if that could potentially include intel about his sister hiring a bodyguard for him.

“This thing with Jennings has him shaken up, I think. Does that happen often? Do players get these vendettas?”

Mia and Sophie exchange glances.

“Not to this degree.” Mia pushes up on one arm, blinking at me with compassionate eyes. “I really hate that Payton’s going through this. I just don’t get what Jennings’ issue is. It’s weird.”

Sophie nods thoughtfully. “It is. My Uncle Marty has some ties from his reporter days. I’ll text him tomorrow and tell him about the situation. He might find something out.”

Alarm bells go off in my head. If this uncle of hers digs too deep, he could wind up discovering Payton’s secret, too. “Do you really think that’s necessary?”

She shrugs. “Can’t hurt.”

Oh yes, it can. “Payton said Coach Markelson would handle it. Let’s let that play out first.”

Sophie’s expression shifts to a slight frown. “What are you worried about, Lil?”

That’s the photojournalist in her asking. I can tell by her tone and the way she holds her head, tilted a smidge to the side.

I need to be more careful. “I just don’t want to upset Payton more than he already is. Or give this Jennings guy any more power in the situation. I ran into guys like him in the military all the time. They feed off power trips and like to be in control.”

Mia squeaks. “You were in the military?” She glances to the side and says more to herself than me, “That would explain a lot.”

Sophie grins with delight. “I knew there was more to your story! What was that like for you, being a woman and all?”

Deflection always works. Hopefully, she won’t talk to her uncle. No need to add more fire to this growing blaze.

“Probably about what you can imagine. Mostly good. Somewhat challenging. I learned a lot there, but by the end of my tour, I knew it wasn’t what I wanted.

” I pull my ponytail over my shoulder, running my hand over the smooth shafts.

My fingers hit the fabric of my shirt, reminding me I’m still wearing Payton’s jersey, and I didn’t miss the way his eyes devoured me when he noticed.

“And what do you want, Lil?” Sophie asks this with a hint of mischief and a lot of curiosity.

Her question hits a deep and unexpected place in me.

What do I want, really? I thought a permanent position on a security detail would check all my boxes, but now I’m not so sure anymore.

The more I’m around Payton—and his friends—the less certain I am about my future.

All this touchy-feely stuff is muddling with my head.

“Yeah, Lil, what do you want?” Mia is all sarcastic innuendo. “A tall drink of a British hockey player?”

I maintain my part with a coy smile. “Maybe.”

But what I’d really like to say is yes, yes, and oh yes !

What is wrong with me?! Catching feelings for my principal violates one of our key rules. But the more time I spend with Payton, the harder it’s getting. The sooner this assignment ends, the better.

Mia’s phone chimes with a text. She reaches over to the nightstand and grabs it, appearing happy at first, then pensive. “Just Ethan saying good night.” She raises concerned eyes to me. “He said Payton went for a walk. He’s not doing great.”

Without even thinking, I jump up from my chair. “I need to find him.”

Sophie stands up. “Want us to go with you?”

I hold my hand up. “No, I should go alone.”

Mia falls back on the bed. “Thank goodness. I don’t think I can stay awake any longer.”

Sophie rolls her eyes at her best friend, then shoots a compassion-filled gaze my way that tugs on my heart. “I’m here if you need me.”

I know she means it, too. That longing hits me again but brings an epiphany with it this time. What if my feelings for Payton have more to do with wanting friends who really care—a community that has nothing to do with my job ?

That makes much more sense than a desire to engage romantically with my client.

I can work with that…and fix it. Del always says the best way to defuse worry is to identify the problem and make a plan.

And the wave of relief I’m feeling confirms I’m on the right track.

Next time I see Del, I’m going to thank her for those words of wisdom, even at the risk of watching her gloat.

“Thanks.” I actually initiate the hug with Sophie this time. And Mia, well, I just pat her foot since she’s already snoring.

The girls and I—wow, does that sound weird in my head—wound up on the same floor as the team but on different ends because the hotel was almost full. And Payton made sure I got a room with a single king-sized bed so I wouldn’t have to play his wife round the clock.

First, I head to my room, texting Del for any updates while I walk down the hall. When I texted her earlier, she said she’d put a tail on Jennings. I know it’s been less than two hours, but I’m still anxious to know if she’s found anything out.

Lily: Anything yet?

Del: Anxious?

Lily: More like impatient. Payton’s not doing well with this.

Del: Interesting that you used the principal’s name…

I stop in my tracks. She’s right. Normally, it’s either ‘principal’ or ‘client.’ We don’t normally use names in our messages. I need to cool down and think.

Lily: The principal is agitated and on the move.

Del: I’m still on the outside. No movement here, so he must be inside.

I give her message a thumbs-up and pocket my phone. When I turn down the hall to my room, I stop.

Payton’s sitting on the floor, leaning against my door, head slumped to the side as if he’s fallen asleep. I soften my steps until I reach him, then crouch down in front of him.

His right cheek is red and puffy and has a small scrape on it, probably from his scuffle with Jennings. A crease sits between his brows as though he’s worried even while sleeping. Before I think about what I’m doing, I smooth my thumb over the indent.

His head jerks up. Sleepy eyes blink at me, then crinkle with a slow smile that makes every cell in my body vibrate as my heart misses a beat.

“What are you doing here, Payton? You should be asleep in your bed.”

He rubs a hand down his face. “I couldn’t sleep. Figured getting an update from you might help.”

I rise with him as he gets to his feet. “Nothing yet. Del has a tail on Jennings.”

“Sounds so mysterious.” His door doze made his voice all husky and rumbly.

Along with a shrug, I pop my brows up in a casual manner for his benefit, although every cell in my body is vibrating. I learned early on that clients often take their cues from us when gauging the seriousness of a situation. “Just routine.”

“In your world, maybe.” One side of his mouth slants up in a sleepy yet sexy smile.

But he nailed it. Our worlds are so very different. And I don’t see any way for them to possibly merge. Another reason to note what’s growing between us as nothing more than simple attraction and my need for friends who aren’t Del.

He waits as I unlock the door, then shuts it behind us. “Would you mind terribly if I stayed here tonight?” He points to the king-sized bed. “It’s not like we haven’t done this before. ”

I drag my gaze from the bed back to him while warring with myself. Part of me wants him to stay—that part needs to go someplace far, far away. “Won’t you get in trouble?”

“I honestly don’t care at the moment. But I’ll set an alarm to return to my room before the rest of the blokes wake up.”

We lock eyes as the air between us thickens with unspoken desire. I grab on to a hefty sense of reality—this isn’t real. And it never can be.

Holding my phone up, I tilt my head toward the bed. “Go ahead and lie down. I need to discuss some things with Del.”

That’s not really true, although I do plan to send her a vague message telling her Payton is okay and settled for the night. I just won’t mention where he’s sleeping. And I’m guessing he’ll fall asleep before his head hits the pillow, thus avoiding any potential awkwardness.

He crawls under the covers, looking more like a sleepy child than a full-grown, deliciously muscled hockey player. I corral my thoughts back to a safe place and duck into the bathroom so as not to disturb him with the glow of my phone.

Lily: The principal is secure and settled for the night.

Del: Catch you on the flip side.

The sound of an alarm pops my eyes open. As a soldier, I learned not to react to sounds while sleeping because it could mean you don’t stay awake, if you get my meaning.

Then I notice a weight around my waist, pinning me against something solid. I glance down. Payton’s arm is draped over me, and the wall behind me is his chest. He’s warm and curled against me. During the night, he must have spooned me in his sleep, and I didn’ t even wake up.

This man may be the end of my career if this keeps up.

Despite the persistent chiming of his alarm, he’s not moving. The time on the bedside clock says it’s five in the morning.

“Payton?” I whisper his name so as not to startle him awake. When he doesn’t respond, I gently shake his arm.

“Huh?” His head pops up.

“Your alarm went off.”

“Oh, right.” He reaches behind him and taps his phone, but then, instead of getting up, he pulls me against him and snuggles in.

“Payton.”

“Yeah.” His voice vibrates against my shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

“Waking up.”

I shift to my back as I try to pull away, but he tightens his arm around my midsection. Heat swirls there as he lifts his head and connects his sleepy gaze to mine.

It’s just physical attraction. That’s what I keep telling myself, but what about this warm rush of affection that’s making my heart push against my chest like an oversized grapefruit?

I want to smooth away the residual worry lines I see on his forehead and tell him everything will be okay. That I’ll make sure of it.

“You’re still wearing my jersey.” His voice is rough with sleep, yet his eyes appear clear as they devour me.

By the time I left the bathroom last night, he was asleep. I didn’t want to wake him by rummaging in my suitcase for my pajamas, so I slept in his jersey.

His gaze lowers to my mouth. As much as I want to give in to this, to feel his lips on mine, to let whatever’s been building between us have its way, I know that’s the worst thing that could happen right now. The last thing Payton needs is more controversy in his life.

I need a plan. And quick !

But it’s oh so tempting. Too tempting…

The whole morning breath thing brings me back to reality. Using a move I learned in training, I flip him onto his back and jump out of the bed.

He stares up at the ceiling. “What just happened?”

“Nothing at all. And that’s how it should be.” I smooth down my hair, then switch on a light, making us both squint.

Payton groans and covers his eyes. “I’m not sure I agree.”

“Too bad, big guy. I don’t make the rules.” But I damn well have to uphold them.

I’m half asleep and probably sound like a woman about to lose her cool. But can you blame me? In bed with a hot hockey player who seems as attracted to me as I am to him? This is so not what I thought this assignment would be. I have to keep my eye on the prize like Payton keeps his on the puck.

A permanent position. That’s my shot at a more normal life that includes friends like Sophie and Mia.

“You have to get back to your room, remember?”

Eyes still scrunched, he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Right.”

While he sits on the edge of the bed putting his shoes on, I slip mine on. He heads for the door like a sleepy toddler. I stay close in case he needs steadying.

“Lily, I’m fully capable of walking back to my room on my own.” He roughs out.

“I’m not so sure about that. Besides, I have to stay close, remember?”

Looking more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen him, he stops and stares at me. “I’m coming to prefer it that way.”

Is he implying what I think he is? My heart pounds so loud in my ears that I almost have to raise my voice above a whisper so I can hear myself. “You’re half asleep, Payton. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I don’t believe I’ve ever been more awake.” His words are few, but he says the rest with his eyes, which are now imploring me to respond.

But I can’t. I don’t know what to say to him.

That he may think he’s cognizant of the situation, but he’s out of his mind?

That there’s no way this could work between us, no matter how much I—we—might want it?

Or, that the idea of falling in love with him terrifies me more than any of the threatening situations I’ve encountered thus far?

Because loving Payton Maxwell would be the most dangerous thing I’ve ever done.

His lips press together as he nods in resignation. “Understood.”

I follow him silently past the elevators to the other end of the floor, where the rest of the team is staying. Just before he goes into his room, he pauses and gives me a curt wave.

And just like that, my heart squeezes like a proverbial schoolgirl with her very first crush.

If Payton only knew…he really and truly was.