Page 11 of In the Middle of No(ah)where (Rockport Ridge #2)

Noah

T he soft thumping on the door has me dropping my game controller as I shoot off the couch and run down the hall.

I've been on edge all day waiting for Caleb.

"He's here!" I yell through Carlos' closed bedroom door.

I hear Carlos' muffled response, but I have no idea what he said.

I roll my eyes and grin as I pad back down the hall to the front door.

I open the door and smile widely. "Happy Eighteenth Birthday," I tell Caleb, opening the door wide so he can step into my outstretched arms for the world's biggest hug.

"Thank goodness I wasn't born an hour earlier, or I could have been born on Valentine's Day." He teases.

"That wouldn't be so bad. Just think, if you're ever single, you can still celebrate the day." I wink.

"Or never get to celebrate with friends because they're all doing the romantic thing." He deadpans.

"Hashtag truth. Hey, do you want something to drink before we head out?"

"I'll take some water." I grab a couple bottles from the fridge for us and take them back to Caleb in the living room while we wait for Carlos. "So, what's the plan? You guys have been very cryptic about the whole birthday thing."

"It's your eighteenth birthday. We had to keep your surprise on the DL," I tell him just as I hear Carlos thumping his big ass feet down the hallway. I swear, that guy rivals an elephant.

"Caleb!" Carlos calls out and scoops him into a bear hug. They've become friends ever since they both helped me move in here. "Happy birthday," he sing-songs in Caleb's ear, causing Caleb to blush from embarrassment.

"Put me down, you big giant," Caleb teases, swatting his arm.

"I'm only a giant because you're like four feet tall." Carlos ruffles Caleb's hair, and I laugh at their banter.

"No, you're a giant," I take Caleb's side.

And it's true. Carlos used to play football in high school and has the body for it.

He was going to play in college on scholarship until he realized what all was entailed—strict diets, workout routines, and schedules, on top of all the many hours of practice. "How tall are you again?"

"Only six foot three. My brothers are both taller than me by a couple inches."

Caleb and I stare at him like he is one of the aliens I drew last night in my sketchbook. Although I'm six feet tall, I feel tiny next to Carlos.

"Can you stop staring at me like I'm a circus sideshow act? Let's go. We have plans for our little buddy." Carlos says, emphasizing the word 'little,' and I grin, knowing what we have planned for the day.

We pile into Carlos' car, and Caleb is happy to ride in the back since he's the smallest.

As we park the car, I glance over my shoulder and see Caleb grinning ear to ear. His eyes meet mine. "You're taking me to the zoo for my birthday?"

"Sort of. Come on."

We exit the car and make our way to the entrance. Before we go in, I hand Caleb a card. "Open this first," I tell him.

He tears open the paper, and his mouth falls open when he sees the small plastic card inside the birthday card. "What––"

"I know how much you love animals, and now you can come as often as you like."

"You got me an annual pass?"

"Happy birthday, bestie." I give him a hug, and we make our way inside. Caleb uses his annual pass for what I'm sure will be the first of many visits.

Carlos is carrying a gift bag with him, and Caleb keeps looking down at it with knitted brows but doesn't say anything. "This way," Carlos tells us, and I'm not sure who is more excited, me or Caleb.

When we arrive at the pavilion outside one of the restaurants, one of the tables is decorated with animal print latex balloons and a large elephant balloon floating above the middle of the table, along with a cake featuring an African safari theme on top.

Caleb freezes, and tears fill his eyes.

"You did all this for me?"

"Of course we did," Emily says. She met Caleb at one of our game nights at the apartment.

Several other middles are here to help Caleb celebrate his birthday, too.

He just fits in with our group, and while we game, he often sits on the floor playing with his blocks.

He's never entirely in little space, but he seems to enjoy himself.

Everyone in our friend group has adopted him as our little brother.

Looking around the group, I realize I had friends before, but nothing as fitting as this. Not to mention having a best friend like Caleb.

???

The arrival of summer brings me a sense of dread.

It's been a year since I graduated, and I'm no closer to deciding what to do about my college plans.

Making that leap is more daunting than I realized.

I tried to take a tour of the local community college.

Still, it was so overwhelming that I didn't make it past the administration building before feeling lost. I ended up with a new cut on my arm because my typical escape wasn't working.

???

Keeping life simple has been working for me. I've been focusing my time on my job at Steamed and picking up any extra shifts I can schedule. So far, things have been going well. Carlie even talked about moving me up to shift manager. Yeah me!

Carlos started dating a daddy named Jasper, and he's even stepped in to help me, too.

Primarily, house rules around playing video games and maintaining a balance between activities that don't involve screen time.

I've agreed to them and spend equal amounts of time playing LEGO or drawing.

Caleb and I are inseparable now that he's graduated and in his own studio apartment.

Caleb often retreats into little space a lot, and I've taken on the role of big brother to help him feel safe during those times of regression.

I mainly get him snacks and hang out while he plays with blocks or colors with his stuffed animals.

Caleb's been on a few dates but has vowed to never date again since the last guy was pretty ruthless and turned out not to be a daddy at all—just some controlling asshole.

Tonight is the first date I've been on in a while.

Aspen and I met at the coffee shop, and he was relentless with his flirting over the past week.

I finally gave in to his charm. His looks didn't help either with his strong jawline, scruff, dark eyes, and hair.

His height matches mine, and I'm guessing he's in his mid-twenties since I'm twenty.

I pull into the parking lot of Affogato, the new Italian restaurant in town, and exit the car. Aspen is standing by the entrance.

"I hope you weren't waiting long," I tell him as a greeting, and he leans in and gives me a hug.

"Nope. Just got here."

He holds the door for me as we make our way inside.

"This is nice," I tell him. "I've been wanting to try this place out for a while but usually just cook pasta at home when I'm craving it."

"I had a business meeting here a few weeks ago, and the food is superb.

" Business meeting. My heart aches with the memory of another man with dark hair and scruff who was in town on business when I met him all those years ago.

Okay, so it wasn't all those years ago ; it was more like a couple of years.

I never even got Marcus' last name to look him up on social media.

"Noah," Aspen says, pulling me out of my thoughts, and I instantly feel like the worst date.

Here I am, thinking about another guy while on a date.

The way he said my name tells me it wasn't the first time he tried to get my attention.

My mind often wanders while I'm in the middle of conversations.

Shit, how do I explain to him about my inattentive ADHD?

It's the reason I had such a hard time in school.

Reading was tough since I would read a few pages and have no idea what I read because my brain was thinking about something else.

"Sorry, I get lost in my head sometimes," I tell the half-truth.

"That's okay. As long as you're not a space cadet," he teases, and I know his comment was supposed to be a joke, but it hits me wrong because it reminds me of all the names my dad called me growing up. "I can't even imagine dating someone who was distracted all the time."

Does he even realize the hurtful things he's saying? Seeing Kai waiting tables across the dining room, I think of how he's always confident and try to channel that confidence now.

"I can." I deadpan.

He pauses his water glass next to his lips. "Huh?"

"I can imagine it. I have ADHD and have struggled most of my life." I don't get into too much detail because I know this date isn't going to go any further than tonight. It's the reason I still struggle to apply to colleges and do something other than work at Steamed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend. I was just teasing." He says, trying to backpedal.

"Joking about someone's mental state is never okay." I take a sip of my water before standing. Who am I right now? Usually, I would joke along with them and play it off. I've just had enough for one night.

Enough of not being good enough.

Enough of being broken.

Enough of being unlovable.

"I'm sorry. Truly. Please…sit?" He asks, and there is something in his eyes that tells me he really is remorseful. By standing up for myself, perhaps I taught him to be more careful about what he says in the future.

I reluctantly sit.

The rest of the meal goes by fine, but the conversation is strained.

I'm not comfortable being open with him, so I let him talk.

He's more than happy to talk about his time in a fraternity, getting accepted into medical school, and being at the top of his class.

He talks about his rotations, and I just plaster on that fake smile Mom taught me so well, counting down the minutes until I can leave.

I insist Aspen and I split the check, and we both slip our credit cards into the little folder with the bill. Saying goodbye to him is going to be awkward, but at least I don't have to worry about inviting him back to my place or going to his.

"I had a nice time tonight, Noah. Again, I'm sorry if I made it awkward." He tells me while putting his hands in his pockets.

"Thank you for a nice meal," I tell him honestly. The food was good.

"Well, I should head out. I'll see you around."

"Drive safely."

"Good night, Noah."

"Night."

He doesn't try to give me a hug or mention a second date. His strained smile doesn't reach his eyes as he turns and walks toward the parking lot located on the side of the building.

I climb into my car and take a beat to lean my head against the headrest, staring at the few stars that flicker in the night sky.

Marcus, where are you?

I don't know why I can't get Marcus out of my mind. It's been almost two years since we last saw each other. I'm sure he's in a relationship and living his best life.

I've been to the aquarium a few times but never mustered up the courage to ask about him.

I didn't run into him either. I searched for Marcus at the state college online, and it pulled up over twenty names.

No pictures. Did he get the job for which he interviewed?

Did he graduate? I wish I was there for it.

Will I ever meet someone as perfect as him?

Someone that made me feel so complete in such a short amount of time.

When I was with him, he naturally had my brain calm from its typical chaos.

He was my antidote.