Page 24 of In Sheets of Rain

I smiled. But the smile didn’t reach very deep. I wanted to be known for my skills and work ethic and not who I chose to marry.

“Thought that man would never settle down,” Gregg said.

“And then a gal from Waikato shows up in the Big Smoke and steals his heart,” April said.

“Better look after it,” Gregg told me in a teasing tone of voice. “He’s one of us.”

“One of you?” I asked.

“He works in here sometimes,” April said. “Sean can do anything.”

“Yeah,” I said, nodding. “Um, why are we here?”

“Oh,” Gregg said. “Just wanted to say ‘Hi,’”.

“We’re not in trouble?” I blurted.

“Why would you be in trouble?” April asked.

“Oh,” I said. “You know,” I muttered. “This is the Service.”

“In here,” Gregg said. “You’re safe.”

“OK,” I said.

And wondered if he was right. I wondered if itwassafer in Comms than it felt like out on the road.

I wondered if I could do what April did.

* * *

“Why didn’t you tell me you sometimes work in Comms?” I said to Sean that night as we cuddled in bed.

“Oh, it’s been a while. But I do go back in there every now and then to keep my hand in.”

“Why?” I asked, holding my breath.

“Well, if I ever get in a car accident and break my back and can no longer work on the road, there’ll still be a place for me in the Service.”

I said nothing for a moment and let that sink in. Realising, eventually, that what I was feeling was disappointment.

I shouldn’t have felt disappointed with Sean; he was supportive and loving and set a great example; hardworking and capable and accomplished.

And yet, I felt such a weight of disappointment that I felt I might drown in it.

“You should give it a go,” Sean said, breaking into my thoughts. “It’s worthwhile making yourself as valuable to the Service as you can.”

“Why?” I said again, this time laughing. “Will they fire me if I’m not?”

“Kylee,” Sean said. “This is your life. You’ve worked hard to get to where you are in it. Make it a long lasting one. Make the effort worth it.”

I hadn’t thought about how long I’d stay in the Service.

I hadn’t thought about more than today, or at the very most, tomorrow.

I hadn’t even set a wedding date.

I lived in the moment, I realised, and Sean lived for the long haul.