Page 47 of In Death’s Hands (The Threads of Fate #1)

She crosses her legs and stays sitting on the hardwood floor, looking for all the world like she belongs there.

She’s still wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and despite the slight disarray of her hair from her recent tumble, she appears fresh and lovely.

Not at all like she drowned in rum last night.

Unfair. Although she does look uncomfortable, playing with her nails and even tearing the skin around them a little.

“I am,” she says softly, as if hoping I won’t hear her. “Sort of.”

“Sort of? What does that mean?”

“It means I won’t find your One True Love .” She sneers and gets up, brushing imaginary dust from her flowing dress.

“Was I supposed to ask you to?”

She frowns at my question. “Everyone does.”

“Who’s everyone? I thought you didn’t advertise who you guys are.”

“What, you think we can only influence humans?”

I blink at her a few times. Standing in front of the bed, hands on her hips and wearing a battle face, she looks two steps away from changing me into a toad. Or making me marry one. Who knows what she can truly do. “I’m guessing that means you can influence others like you?”

She shrugs. “We all can, to some extent.”

Pressing my hands to my face, I let a groan carry some of my many frustrations out. “I’m too hung-over for this talk.”

“Fine by me,” she says, a smile at the ready on her pouty lips.

“Wait!” I wince at the volume of my own voice but can’t let things drop. “I need answers, Turan. I can’t keep stumbling my way through your world, not knowing a single thing about you guys.”

“You know more than most.”

“But not enough. Look at me, look at what happened last night! I was seconds away from jumping Nathan and Atys, for crying out loud.” She snorts but regains her composure quickly when she sees my face. “It’s not funny. I need to know what I’m walking into. How to protect myself.”

Sighing, she comes to sit on the bed next to me. “For the record, you were never in any danger last night. Neither one of them would have done anything to you when they both knew your mind wasn’t clear.”

It doesn’t make me feel any better, for some reason. Maybe because the influence of Thalnus only seemed to bring out desires I was not willing to look at. Desires that seemed to be answered later that same night only to be squashed mercilessly. What a disaster my life is…

“As for the rest,” Turan continues, “ask and I shall try to answer. But know that it’ll be hard for any of us to answer you. Secrecy is ingrained in us. We may want to be honest with you, but the truth sometimes seems to fight us to stay hidden.”

What a strange way to say they’re used to keeping secrets. Either way, I see it as my chance to learn more. I wish it had come at a time when my head wasn’t screaming bloody murder, but I’ll take what I can. “So, you guys can use your powers on each other?”

She nods. “As I said, only to some extent. The strongest among us are the Crown bearers. The rest of us are sorted on the ladder depending on our skills and the amount of power we can wield. For example, I could heal minor injuries on Thalnus or Veltha as they are rulers and demand a lot of strength and power. But Veltha, as the bearer of the Crown of Roots, she would be able to heal almost everyone.”

“You’re from that Crown, right?”

“Yes, and because of that, I’m able to heal some wounds as well. The body is rooted in the Earth, so most of us from that Crown can influence and speed up the natural healing process.”

“But that’s not your main power, is it?”

She shakes her head but stays silent.

“Can you tell me about it?” I ask gently, feeling that it’s a difficult subject for her.

Taking a big breath, she explains, “Humans are made of blood and earth. Like animals, you are an inherent part of this world. The planet itself breathes. She rises and falls, breaks and floods, when put through too much. Your emotions are a mirror of that natural cycle. Just like we can influence the Earth, so too can some of us influence the chemicals in your body. My influence over some of the hormones that create emotions comes from there.”

“Influence over love?”

She nods. “Love, desire, heartbreak… It’s all less exciting than you humans would like to believe.”

I don’t know about that. “So your role…?”

“Is to follow the Order. That’s what all of us do. And for me, that means I use my influence on certain people, at certain times, ensuring some pairings and events that will keep the Order flowing.”

“You’re like Cupid then? If someone falls in love, it’s due to you?”

“No.” She snorts. “If I had arrows, I’d probably use them on my own eyes.

” I frown, feeling like that’s not entirely a joke, but she moves on before I can ask what she means.

“For most people it happens organically. But for others, there is a need behind it, and we can’t leave it up to chance.

Love is energy that can create momentum in a society, new beings that are supposed to do certain things.

Heartbreak is also a harbinger of change.

Both of those emotions are so strong that they can shift entire trajectories. For good or bad.”

I stay quiet for a while, needing time to digest all of this, but her obvious reluctance to talk about it makes me want to pry deeper. “And you don’t… like doing that?”

“It’s not that.” She sighs. “I… I just never know what the consequences are. We all have those instincts pushing us to perform our duties, but only the Fates can see where the road truly leads.”

“Something happened, didn’t it?”

She nods, eyes locked on her hands.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Nope,” she answers with a sneer.

“Okay.” I can respect that. I wouldn’t want people prying into my business either, after all. But… “Wait, does that mean you know when others feel those emotions?” My heart hammers in my chest when she acquiesces, desperately trying to escape the truth. “Huh.”

“I’ve never altered your emotions,” she says quickly. “In case you were wondering.”

“I wasn’t.” But I guess I should. Instead, I’m too busy going back through everything I’ve ever felt in her presence. Nathan had been there most of those times. And what she must have picked up from me… “Shit.”

“I felt the same things from him, you know.”

“What?” My palms become clammy as heat travels from my chest to my cheeks.

Turan looks at me knowingly. “And I had nothing to do with that either.”

It’s becoming hard to swallow. I don’t know what to do with this.

When I recall his words, I know there is nothing to be done.

Whatever Turan thinks she felt from him is either long gone or never was at all.

Who knows how accurate their powers are anyway?

And even if what she thinks she felt from him is true, then he clearly won’t do anything about it.

“You won’t feel it again, don’t worry,” I tell her as I get up. No chance I’ll go back to sleep now.

Turan snorts but lets it go, and I’m grateful. “Get dressed, we’re leaving for Celestina’s court soon.”

“What is she to you, anyway?”

Turan studies herself in the mirror to tidy her hair. “What do you mean?”

“There are four Crowns, right?” She nods, still not looking my way. “Aren’t Crowns supposed to be at the top?”

“Not really. Each Crown has its leader, but she unifies us. Makes sure we work as one. We owe her a lot.”

She finally meets my eyes in the mirror, and her solemn expression makes me wonder once again what it was like for them, what it’s still like not to remember anything but a traumatic awakening deep within the Earth.

I turn to the dresser, hoping to find something that will make me feel a little more confident than a flag . I don’t care what the prick said, I’m going to that meeting.

I find boxers and suits but nothing truly appropriate.

“Any chance you packed something that could fit me?” I throw over my shoulder, but when I look back, Turan is gone.

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” I mutter.

I’m getting tired of their disappearing acts.

Can’t they use a freaking door once in a while?

And say, “See ya”? I would settle for a grunt goodbye at this point.

I’m turning back to the dresser when a movement in the corner makes me jolt.

“Bloody hell,” I squeak, putting a hand on my chest when I recognise Nathan’s shadow. “Can’t you knock?”

The shadow pauses a second and its head lowers a fraction. Enough to appear somewhat remorseful. I sigh. They’re gonna drive me mad, the whole fucking lot of them. “What do you want?” I ask, reminding myself that Nathan must have sent it.

The shadow gestures to the bundle in its hands before putting it on the bed.

I go to it and unfold a beautiful dark green dress with thin straps and a plunging V-neck.

The skirt is made with sheer panels of tulle.

There’s a lining under the panels to keep some things hidden, although it looks so short I wonder if it’ll even cover my ass completely.

When I turn to Nathan’s shadow, it points a finger to the dress, then to me.

“Yes, I gathered that he wants me to wear it.” It seems Nathan heard me last night. On one subject, at least.

The shadow nods before taking a hesitant step towards me.

To my surprise, I don’t move back. Its featureless face seems to be engrossed in mine.

I don’t know how I know that it’s observing me when the space where its eyes should be is a swirling pit of black smoke, but I do.

And it is. Or should it be he is? It’s so close that if it were breathing, I would feel its breath on my skin.

Like a caress so desperately wanted, I almost feel its ghost on my eyelids, my lips.

His hand comes up, and a tingly, cold sensation blooms as his fingers gently brush my cheekbone.

The one I know from the quick check in the bathroom earlier is slightly swollen and blueish from a hit I hadn’t realised I took last night, when I was fighting for my life.

One that wasn’t entirely healed by Turan’s treatment for some reason.

“I’m fine.”

His lips tighten in front of me. Did he always have lips?

I could swear his face was a dark void before, but it seems that the more time I spend in his presence, the clearer he becomes.

Like a veil slowly lifting. I take a step towards him, but this time he takes a step back.

I focus my gaze on his face and find that those lips are the exact same shape as Nathan’s.

I don’t know why I’m surprised. His shadow is in front of me, but I think I may have thought of them as different from one another.

Two entities rather than one. Both filled with different thoughts and wants.

“Are you him?”

He nods, and I turn away, my grip a bit too tight on the dress. “Then you don’t care.” I walk to the bathroom and close the door behind me, ignoring the heat of his gaze on my back.