Page 17 of In Death’s Hands (The Threads of Fate #1)

Gods. Sure, that makes sense. As much as me swearing a life of chastity in a convent somewhere far away.

But… “I thought you didn’t know what you were.” They share a look. “That’s what you said.”

“It’s more complicated than that,” says Turan.

“Then explain!” I’m really getting tired of their half-truths and careful words.

Again they share a look that has my temper rising. “I’m already in this shit! So you better start being honest with me, or I’m walking and taking my chances with whatever wants to kill me next!”

Oh. Nathan does not like that.

Good.

I don’t particularly enjoy feeling left out either, no matter how much practice I have.

Getting way too close to me for comfort, he hisses, “If we could tell you more, we would .”

“That doesn’t even make sense!”

“We told you the truth. We don’t know shit.

The few things we do know are based on intrinsic knowledge, instincts stronger than your need to breathe, Liv.

” His own breathing turns ragged as his eyes search mine.

For what, I don’t know. “We woke up, lost and confused, empty of anything but those instincts. It took decades for us to find a semblance of normalcy. A normalcy that is unique to us, because no one on this Earth can do what we do. Because no one on this fucking planet is bound the way we are!”

We stare at each other across a land ravaged by his angst. The only sound is his heavy breathing.

“Bound by what?”

He closes his eyes and turns from me. “Bound to you. Bound to our roles and what humanity needs from us.”

“What does that entail, exactly?”

Still not looking my way, he says, “Right now, it means we have to figure out what is happening to you.”

I turn to Turan for more insight, but she’s looking worriedly at Nathan.

“Aren’t gods supposed to… I don’t know, do whatever they want?”

Nathan’s bitter laugh makes my insides twist. But it’s Turan that softly explains, “You should forget everything you think you know about gods. Your mythology and legends got very few things right.”

“Well, they did get the part where you actually exist right. And how many of you are there, exactly? And what do you do?” So many questions. I have so many questions. “Where did you even come from? Were you born with the Earth? Did you create the Earth?”

“Easy, girl,” says Turan, but I can only look at Nathan’s back rippling with tension. To him, she says, “You’ve started down this path, you might as well tell her the rest.”

A big sigh leaves his body as he finally turns back to me.

The lost look he gives me, the pain and guilt and self-loathing in his dark eyes, is enough to take my breath away.

“There are dozens of us,” he says, voice rumbling.

“We each have our own sets of skills and purpose. As for the rest, we cannot tell you.”

I take a big breath, my stance widening as I prepare to rip into him, but before any words can slip through my lips, he shakes his head. “We cannot tell you, Liv. Not because we don’t want to, but because we don’t know the answers to your questions.”

I still. “How can you not know?”

“That is yet another good question,” he says tightly.

Blowing out a breath, Turan says from her spot on the couch, “We all have theories, some more plausible than others.” She looks pointedly at Nathan.

“But the simple truth is that quite some time ago, we all woke up in the same place, deep beneath the Earth, unable to remember a single thing apart from our names and roles in the Order.”

“And you then decided you were gods?” I don’t think I’ve been sceptical enough of this whole thing.

“Oh, honey…” laughs Turan.

I narrow my eyes at her, but anything I could have said just dies in my throat.

A faint glow starts to shimmer over her skin, strangely warming me from the inside out.

Her green eyes darken slightly, looking more like the forest after dark rather than an early-spring field.

Her hair moves on an invisible wind, a wind that somehow manages to steal my breath.

A stronger warmth ignites within my chest, so intense it’s almost painful.

“Turan,” Nathan snaps, and everything fades away as quickly as it started.

Okay… I guess I would believe myself a god if I could do that too. “So, you can… glow?”

A barked laugh from Nathan makes me jump, and his shoulders are still shaking when Turan narrows her eyes at me. I suddenly remember all the stories about Zeus’ wrath and think maybe I should be careful with how I interact with them.

Coming to her feet, looking straight into my eyes and making me feel very small even though I tower over her tiny frame, Turan explains, “I am the goddess of love, human. You can rest assured that I do not simply glow .”

My jaw unhinges itself. “You… You’re—” I cough, trying to get air back in my lungs. “You’re what ?”

“And you berate me for being an arrogant prick, Turan. Well done…” grumbles Nathan.

She grins widely, sending her brother a look that is anything but apologetic. Wait. Her brother ? So, Death’s assistant is the goddess of love’s brother ? I need to lie down.

“What she meant to—”

“So you truly are brother and sister?”

He seems taken aback by my line of questioning. Admittedly there are hundreds of better questions to be asked. I just can’t think of any right now.

“As she tried to explain, we don’t remember anything prior to our waking up. We could be blood relatives or not.”

I see Turan make a face next to him and feel some kind of mirth emerge from the chaos of my mind. “Some of us like to mingle, but he and I… well, we’ve been through a lot together and feel more like brother and sister.”

I wonder what she means by that but let it go as the tension rises in the room, and I’m not sure I want to know. Yet. “So you’re like Aphrodite?”

“Please.” She rolls her eyes. “I do not care for her silly depiction among mortals. Freyja is already a much more flattering rendering of my person, if only the Norse hadn’t made her into a pathetic fool who cries tears of gold while searching for her absent husband.

” Looking at her, I can see how some people might dismiss her.

She looks like a California Barbie princess, but her fierce intelligence shines through if one takes only a minute to talk to her.

Smiling slightly at the indignation on her face, I turn to Nathan, who’s observing me carefully. I haven’t brought it up yet, but the vision of him encased in darkness is not one I’ll ever forget. As Death’s assistant, I can assume he has powers to deal with whatever duties weigh so heavily on him.

“And you? What is your role in all of this?”

His eyes shutter. “Whatever is required of me.”

“So he truly exists?” My voice is quieter than I would like it to be. As if talking about Death will summon him.

Clenching his jaw, he throws a look at Turan, who stays pointedly quiet. “He is, but don’t worry, you won’t have to deal with him.”

I frown. “Why would I worry?”

Cocking his head to the side in a way that makes a piece of his hair fall into his eye, he asks, “Aren’t you worried about meeting him?”

“Should I be? I’ve met him before.” And he didn’t feel threatening. In reality, he was the most calming presence I’ve ever felt. A light amidst the chaos of that horrible night.

A confused expression settles on his features. Like he cannot fathom why I’m not afraid of his boss.

And then a thought startles me, spreading dread in its path. “Do you think he’ll try to kill me?”

Nathan jolts as if I’d slapped him. “What? Of course not. Why would you ask that?”

“You seem worried. And everything happening to me seems to come from him saving me.”

“Not only that,” intervenes Turan, “the Novensiles have been growing restless of late.”

“Who are they exactly?” I interrupt. It hasn’t escaped my notice that they have yet to explain that part.

Turan swallows and I see the doubt in her eyes. I don’t think she’ll answer, but then she says, “They’re a brotherhood claiming to work for the Order. Except they actively work against us.” She purses her lips. “If they’re after you, it could be connected.”

“Connected to what?”

“I don’t think it’s linked,” says Nathan stiffly to his sister of sorts, a hard look on his face.

“How can you know? They reappeared twenty years ago, almost to the day. It would be a pretty big coincidence if they weren’t linked to what happened to her. Or rather didn’t happen.”

“So, we figure it out. What happened to me, what these Novensiles are after, all of it,” I tell them, ready to finally move forward and get my life back.

“And to do that,” says Turan with a pointed look at Nathan, “you need their help. But you don’t have to go there .”

“You know that’s the only true neutral place we could meet without endangering anyone.”

“Not if you could be fucking grown-ups about it!” she barks. “It’s dangerous.”

I wonder for a second why I’m not more scared of something a god seems afraid of.

A god. Nope. Still not making sense.

“More dangerous than keeping her here, not learning what is wrong with the Order and letting the Novensiles grow stronger?”

Closing her eyes, Turan takes a few big breaths, visibly trying to calm herself down.

“We’ll stay in the antechamber,” Nathan adds more gently.

“Why are you scared of it?” I ask her, and boy do I regret it immediately.

“I am not scared of this place.” Her eyes start glowing again, and I notice Nathan moving in front of me, entirely blocking my view of the small woman.

God. Whatever. I get on my toes to look over his broad shoulder in time to see Turan notice his not-so-subtle move and send a scathing look his way.

“You know exactly why I think it’s a bad idea.

We are weak there. I will not be weak again. ”