Page 14

Nyoka

I didn't know if it was from all the family drama, but Adonis had been moping around the house since we had gotten back from Ohio.

Within the week, I called for movers to bring my stuff from the storage unit I had in New York.

The two suitcases that I had fled with were cool for the past year, but since I was in the clear and a free woman, I wanted all my things.

The walk-in closet was the size of a damn bedroom, and I couldn't wait to fill it with all of my things.

"Did you want me to cook tonight?"

"That's cool." His tone was dead, and he hadn't even looked away from the television when I had asked.

I refused to let my overthinking get the best of me because everything in me screamed that the distance I felt between us was because Adonis had seen his ex. Over the past week, I even asked if that was the case.

"You need to stop overthinking. You good over here," he would say before engaging back into his phone. That sure felt really reassuring. Tell me I'm straight and then entertain a device that could keep you in touch with whom I was worried about. The shit was a joke if you asked me. Wanting to get us back to how we were pre-Ohio trip was a short-term goal of mine. It's crazy because just seven months ago, I wouldn't have been doing any of this, but I had opened up to Adonis in ways that I hadn't with any other man.

I knew firsthand how people could be fighting their own demons, and maybe that caused the distance I was feeling as well.

Ding Dong.

"Who is that, Talia?" Adonis looked over the back of the sofa and asked.

"No." I smiled as I began walking toward the front door.

I was excited because maybe, just maybe, this would be something that would cheer him up.

"What's up, gang?" My tattoo artist greeted me as soon as I pulled the front door open. "Where do you want me to set up?" he asked.

"You can…" my words caught in my throat when I turned to lead the way and saw Adonis leaning against the wall in the foyer.

"Who's this?" he asked.

So damn territorial, I thought with a smirk before answering.

"This is Lou. He's my tattoo artist."

Finally, I thought once the corners of Adonis' mouth turned upward.

Something had finally made him smile.

I showed Lou to the living room, where he could set up.

When Adonis and I first started dating, we would stay up late or wake up in the middle of the night and have deep conversations.

He always talked about wanting to finish his back tattoo or getting a leg one.

"Do you already know what you want, bruh?" Lou asked Adonis.

Adonis pulled his phone out and showed him an Anime character.

"Bet," Lou said as he finished setting up.

From the kitchen, I had a clear view of the tattoo session that was happening in the living room.

Occasionally, Adonis would look over at me and offer a smile.

I had taken a pack of lamb chops out of the freezer because I intended to cook for my man and spoil him for the day.

He was recording while Lou worked, and I cringed a bit.

Social media had been a problem in our relationship, and I tried my hardest not to nag about what he gained enjoyment from.

Still, there was a line between having fun and disrespecting your relationship.

I shook the thought of wondering what he could have been doing on his phone off and just finished cooking.

Within three hours, his tattoo was finished, and dinner was done.

"Look, babe, you like?" Adonis twisted his leg to show off the new ink on his calf.

"Yeah, it's fire," I responded.

"What you getting?"

I didn't plan on getting anything. I had booked Lou for a five-hour session because I didn't know what Adonis may have wanted, but I didn't even factor in myself getting any work done.

"I don't know. I did all of this for you."

"You said you wanted something little and cute behind ya ear, right?"

I did tell him that months ago. I loved that Adonis didn't have selective memory. Whatever you told him, his ass would remember. He had flashed his phone in my face.

"How about this?"

"It's cute," I admitted.

I looked at Lou and he was seated waiting on me.

My tattoo didn't take long at all.

Adonis was on FaceTime with Joy while I got mine.

He seemed to be in better spirits, and I loved that for him.

Even if this little moment only lasted for the day, I felt happy knowing that I was able to pull him from his funk, even if only for a few hours.

Adonis

It was the small gestures and the fact that Nyoka broke her neck to please me that made me love the shit out of her.

I had been in a rut, and I couldn't shake the shit, but I appreciated her efforts at trying to sway my mood.

So much so that I had sent her and Talia away to the spa while I painted her closet the Tiffany blue she had been talking about wanting since I slid her a house key.

The movers she had gotten to bring her things down from New York were bringing her stuff inside off of the truck.

I thanked God that there was no furniture because I had the place fixed up to my liking.

I wanted her to feel comfortable and know that this was her home too, so I allowed her to toss fur pillows on the sofa and a bunch of other girly shit that I would have never looked twice at in a store.

She had paintings hung and plugins all throughout filled with Island Nectar scent.

"Hey buddy, where do you want these?"

I was in the middle of the stairs with one of her boxes in my hands when one of the movers called out to me.

"Leave it there."

"Alright, dude, that's the last box," he informed me before closing the front door behind him on the way out.

I was going to offer him and his guys a tip, but he had left too quickly.

I guess he had already been paid to his standard.

One thing about movers is if they weren't pleased with that base bill, they would stand around and look at you for a bit, hoping that you will add an extra tip.

I had finished carrying the box in my arms up the stairs and headed straight to her closet.

Nyoka told me that most of the shit coming was clothes anyway, so that's exactly where all of that shit needed to be.

Nyoka had been gone for hours, and I knew women in the spa could take forever, especially since I sent her with enough money to get their nails and toes done too, but I wanted to fuck something crazy.

I busied myself with unpacking her things since I knew I wouldn't see her ass until the sun was down.

The stack of boxes dwindled down in size as I knocked each of them out.

Her clothes were neatly on hangers, and I had her shoes on the shelves.

I even took the initiative to have the heels separate from her sneakers.

Nyoka was a neat freak, and I loved that about her.

I rushed downstairs and grabbed the last box to unpack that.

When taps started to hit against the window in her closet, I looked out and saw that it was storming pretty badly outside.

I reached into the pocket of my sweats and shot Ny a text to check on her.

I knew how badly she hated driving in the rain.

Pretty Lady: Aw, babe, I'll be home in a bit.

I just dropped Talia off.

I read the text from her and then finished unpacking her things.

I stood back and smiled at how I had put her shit together.

I knew she would be pleased when she saw it.

I turned around, and on the way out of the closet, I realized I had forgotten one box in the corner.

Damn, just when I thought I was done.

I walked over to the box and then picked it up.

Like the others, it had some weight to it.

I sat it on the chaise she had in the middle of the floor.

This girl had so many fucking shoes it was ridiculous.

I was glad that I had the ceiling-to-floor shelving installed in both closets.

I picked up one of the weirdest-looking shoes I had ever seen. I couldn't even pronounce the damn brand that was on the sole.

Now I occasionally dripped in designer but on a hood niggas' level.

Meanwhile, Ny had brands that were reserved for New York Fashion Week.

As I got to the bottom of the box, I noticed some papers and photos in there.

I was about to close the box up because I didn't want to go through her things, but one photo caught my attention.

My hands were literally shaking as I picked it up and held it close to my face.

I could tell that the young girl in the photo was Nyoka because she had the same face.

The person standing beside her confused the fuck out of me.

Now, this was the mother that I had a clear memory of.

Jolene stood next to her with a stone-cold glare.

I picked up the next picture and saw that Nyoka was older, maybe about seventeen or so.

She was smiling brightly beside my mother again.

They wore the same chain.

The same chain that I had stolen from her almost a year ago.

I heard the front door open, and when it did, anger bubbled in my soul.

"Babeeeee, where are you? I gotta show you my nails.

I think you're gone love to see this color wrapped around ya dick." Nyoka's tone was so cheerful.

I had to swallow hard because I felt like I was about to throw up.

The back of my mouth was watery as hell.

"There you are…"

I looked up from the pictures and saw Nyoka standing in the doorway.

Her nails were painted in a French manicure design.

I knew she had gotten it for me because I told her how I loved that shit.

That French tip combo would get the panties snatched off a bitch.

Her hair was bone straight and to her shoulders, so I knew she had visited the salon inside of the spa as well.

When she looked down at what was in my hand, her facial expression told me everything that I needed to know.

She had been lying to me.

Nyoka

We stood there in silence for a while.

I quickly looked around the closet and saw that Adonis had tended to what I had been complaining about damn near all week.

When I looked back at him, there was a hurt in his eyes that I wish I had never put there.

I bit my bottom lip as my eyes started to water.

Without looking at the photos, I knew exactly what he had discovered.

I wasn't big on taking pictures, but I kept the two in his hand because they were sentimental to me.

One was a photo of me the first day I had gone to The Heart Mirage's boarding house and the second was the day of my graduation.

In both photographs, Jolene was at my side.

"Are you like them?" Adonis had broken the silence. I knew he must have meant like his mother and Joy.

"Yes…"

He breathed deeply and then used his thumb and pointer finger to massage his eyeballs. I watched him go through the motions.

He dropped the pictures in his hand into the box and then started to walk in my direction. I held my breath because I couldn't get a read on him. It was evident he was hurt and angry, but to what extent?

"Watch out, bruh." He was trying to leave the room, but I was standing in the doorway still.

"Babe, no, can you talk to me?"

In that moment, I instantly regretted not taking Joy's advice to tell him while everything was still fresh.

A piece of me wanted to leave that part of my life behind because that wasn't me anymore.

Adonis had unknowingly changed me in so many ways.

He threw his head back in frustration before brushing past me.

"Can you waitttt?" I cried as I followed behind him.

Adonis was giving me the silent treatment, and I understood why. Before seeing his mother again, for months, he would vent about her absence in his life.

Then the following weeks after we had left Ohio, I listened to him vent about how she wasn't shit for abandoning her children to fill her life with being a contracted murderer.

"Adonis waitttt…" I cried again as I pulled at the back of his white t-shirt as he started to head down the stairs.

"MOVE, brUH!"

Adonis turned around and pushed me, which caused me to stumble back.

We made eye contact for a moment, and when I couldn't detect any regret in his glare, it infuriated me.

I knew I could kill him with ease, and now that my secret was out, he did as well.

"Just talk to me!" I pleaded again because I was in the wrong.

I sounded weak as hell, but I didn't give a fuck.

I had messed this up, and I'll be damned if I didn't try my hardest to fix it.

Although his mother and I had the same profession, I didn't want him to associate her heartless ways with me.

I loved the fuck out of him.

I grabbed Adonis' shirt again with both hands to try to stop him from leaving.

This time, when he turned around, he pushed me with a force that put me on my ass.

I had pushed my anger to the side with the first push, but with that second one, I just couldn't control myself.

I quickly jumped to my feet and then lifted one and kicked him in the back as he was walking down the stairs.

Adonis' feet slid down the carpeted steps, but he caught his balance by grabbing hold of the banister.

He looked over his shoulder and gave me a look like he wanted to kill me.

I could see in his eyes that he was second-guessing it because who was the real killer here? He jogged down the rest of the steps, and by the time I ran behind him, he was already slipping his feet into his sneakers at the door.

He grabbed his keys off the key rack hanging on the wall so hard that the entire thing had fallen to the ground.

I didn't even bother to grab anything to cover my freshly done hair from the rain as I followed him out.

"Adonis, please!"

He had started his car on his key fob. He always parked his car on the street because he would come and go as he pleased and never wanted to block me in. The rain poured down hard on the both of us as I ran behind him down the driveway.

"Leave me the fuck alone, Nyoka!"

He swung his car door open and hopped in, but I had the door in my hand.

"I will start fucking driving," he warned as he looked me up and down.

I just needed Adonis to hear me out. More than anything, I never wanted us to be mad at each other and not be able to talk it out. He wasn't telling me he needed space or anything. He was just leaving.

"Baby, I know this is a lot, just please…"

Snot was running down my nose and tears were down my cheeks as I pleaded with him in the pouring rain. He pushed the button on the push to start to finish starting the car, and I watched him shift gears.

"Let go of my door, Nyoka."

"Please stay. Let's talk about this."

"Stop asking me to stay. I need time to think. I'm not with this crazy shit!"

We had this big ass house, so I didn't understand why he couldn't pick a damn room and do all the thinking that he wanted.

"Just come inside. Please."

I guess he was tired of sitting there listening to me cry and attempt to plead my case because he just looked in my direction, poked his bottom lip out, and then shook his head up and down before stepping on the gas.

I ran alongside the car for as long as I could before he floored that bitch.

Two of my nails broke when the speed from the take-off forced the car door out of my grasp, and I lost my footing and was thrown to the street.

I lay there for a minute, just letting the rain pour down on me as I cried.

The thunder outside silenced the screams of my heartbreak.

I was pretty sure that a couple of my neighbors were probably watching the whole shit play out on their Ring cameras, and knowing that, I finally pulled myself from the street to walk back down the block and into the house.

My phone was on the floor at the bottom of the steps.

I must not have realized it had fallen out of my pocket while running behind him down the stairs. My ring and middle finger were bleeding from the broken nails. I snatched the phone up and called Talia. She answered on the first ring.

"I'm on the way…" was all she said before I cried into the phone.

I already knew that Adonis must have called Dom. I sat on the floor of the foyer and waited for her arrival.

∞∞∞

"Did y'all fight?" Talia asked as soon as she walked through the door. I saw she was looking at the key rack on the floor and then at my busted hand.

"No, I was just trying to get him to stay."

"Aw hunny. It's a lot for him to process."

I knew it was, but I needed Adonis to understand that I really did love him.

"He said he needed time to think," I voiced reassuringly.

"There we go. Now let's get you cleaned up." Talia held her hand out for me, and I took it.

I already knew that my hair was puffy and all over the place from a mix of the workout I got from running alongside the car and from the rain.

Talia sat on the toilet seat while I showered and cried, and when I was finished, she was waiting outside the glass doors with my robe held open.

I was blessed to have her as family.

I crawled into our big bed, and she laid right beside me.

We lay there in silence. I wasn't even crying anymore. I'm sure that I was all cried out. I just replayed everything over in my head.

"Ny…" Talia lightly whispered.

"Hmm?"

"I'm pregnant."

I turned around to face Talia. She was already lying on her side, facing me. She had this scared facial expression.

"Does Dom know?"

"Yes, I took the test after you dropped me after the spa."

"Should I say congratulations?"

Talia, like me, wasn't the motherly type, but she had her person, so I'm sure she and Dom can figure it out. She gave me a small smile.

"Congratulations," I expressed as I smiled back at her.

I had wondered what having kids with Adonis would be like.

I was practicing what I would say to him when he walked back through those doors.

I had everything mapped out in my head.

I would give him the raw and uncut version of Nyoka "Snake Eyes" Fitzgerald's life. I was prepared to share all the pieces of myself. I just needed Adonis to come back home.

When I heard Talia snoring lightly beside me, I drifted off to sleep myself.

"I need time to think. I'm not with this crazy shit." His voice played over in my head.

It was now day thirty-six, and Adonis was still taking his time to think.

I knew the time he spent away from the house was final when movers came knocking at the door.

For the first two weeks, I called his phone nonstop.

When I realized that I just wouldn't get an answer, I stopped.

I watched as men walked out with boxes from Adonis' closet.

I had let myself go something terrible.

My natural hair was all over the place, and I was walking around the house in a pair of Adonis' Dragon Ball Z pajama pants and one of his white t-shirts.

I didn't even see the outside world in a month.

Talia would come over and bring food and flowers or just sit with me.

Since the front door was open for the movers, I stood in the doorway and just looked outside.

Memories of the last time I was out there flashed through my head, and I quickly shook that shit off.

Without contact, Adonis was showing me how things were, and now it was time for me to take it as it was.

He was done here, and I needed to stand up and get my shit together.

The night after the big blowout, Joy had called me.

She simply asked if I was okay and then asked where Adonis was.

Once I told her I didn't know she said okay, ended the line, and then I hadn't heard from her since.

I slid my feet into my Yeezy slides at the door and decided to walk down to the mailbox.

I had to snatch all the mail that had accumulated out of the box.

When I got back into the house, I dropped all the mail onto the kitchen counter and then started to go through it.

Hey, we noticed that you changed your address…

The words on one of the letters in the bunch of mail stuck out to me.

It had Adonis' name on it, and I second-guessed about opening it, but once I realized that maybe this letter would tell me where he was, I ripped that shit open.

I was the same girl that would check a nigga phone, so of course I'ma check the mail too.

The letter didn't have the address of where he had forwarded his mail, but it did have when the change of address was submitted.

He's been done with me, I thought when I looked at the date that was thirty days ago.

"Mam, we're finished."

I blinked away tears and then gave the movers my attention. All the furniture was still in the house, so I was confused.

"What all did you take?" I asked.

"Just clothes."

"Um, okay…"

I listened to the front door close before I searched the house for my phone to make a call.

Since Talia had her spare key, I never walked around with my phone.

It's not like Adonis would call me and tell me that he still loved me and was coming home.

I could feel the ice building around my heart as I frantically searched the house for my phone.

I found it in the most awkward place on the side of the bathtub.

I had knocked over the empty Hennessy bottle when I grabbed it.

For the past thirty days, while I waited on a verdict from Adonis, I had drowned myself in liquor.

I put the phone on speaker and placed it on the sink counter.

I stared at myself in the mirror.

My hair was matted, and I had gained a bit of weight.

I never understood how some girls say that they could be so heartbroken over a nigga that they wouldn't eat.

My ass was gonna stuff my face and cry. Thankfully, the little weight that I did put on went to my ass.

"Hello Snake Eyes…"

I came back from my thoughts when the person I had called answered.

"Onyx, I need to get back in the game."

"I was waiting on your call…"

I knew she was. Since Adonis didn't fuck with her, I'm sure that Joy told her what had happened between us.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

"Welcome back, Snake Eyes. You know what to do."

The line ended, and I laughed out loud.

Nothing in my life was currently humorous, but it was crazy how life came around full circle.

I had allowed a nigga to throw me off my game so much, and it was insane to me.

I looked up flights to Potomac, Maryland.

That is where The Heart Mirage's boarding house was.

Whenever one of us went on a hiatus and came back, that was the first step.

With Onyx in charge now, I wasn't sure how things were being run, but I was ready to get back to it.

After showering and brushing out my hair, I put it into a messy bun.

I tossed on some sweats and sneakers.

The only thing that I had in the house was my clothes.

I quickly texted Talia and told her she could keep all the clothes since we wore the same size.

My closet was exactly how he had left it.

I walked over to the chaise and then pulled the two pictures out of it and pushed them into my YSL bag.

I looked around at all of my designer pieces and then texted Talia again.

I told her she couldn't have my shoes, bags, or coats and that I would send for them.

I loved my cousin but not that damn much.

On my way out of the closet, I hit the light. It was symbolic because I had closed out the light on the room that was the ending of us, and it felt like a step in the right direction to my healing process.

Talia

I had read Nyoka's text and didn't even bother to respond.

For the past month, I had been trying to get her to stay in Georgia.

I knew she needed to heal, and I was prepared to be there every step of the way with her.

Also, I needed her by my side with this pregnancy shit.

I understood, though.

I understood that when you need to heal, you have to do it in your own way, and if her leaving is what she needed to rebuild, then I was all here for it.

"Nyoka is moving."

I knew Dom would relay the message to his cousin.

Dom's phone started ringing, and I knew it was Adonis calling from the way he peeled his body out of bed to go and answer.

He's gone live long, I thought to myself as I watched Dom walk out of our bedroom.

I didn't fuck with his cousin for what he did to mine, and I heavily expressed that.

I sat in the bed, rubbing my feet together and scrolling on my phone.

My days have become just that.

Dom would be busy doing yards, and I would just sit inside and let the time pass me by.

I didn't even have the urge to sell any houses.

In a year, I was able to build a stronger bond with the only family that I had, and then the shit was pulled from under my feet all because of a nigga.

A piece of me made me hate Dom for it because it was his blood, but I couldn't put him at fault for Adonis' ain't shit ass.

Dom was a good dude and had been showing me that ever since we locked in.

"I gotta run something by you."

I locked my phone when Dom walked back into the room.

"Okay, what's up?"

"Adonis wants to give me his house… what do you think?"

As much as I couldn't stand his guts, I loved the house I had sold him.

"Let me run it by Ny."

I loved that house, but I loved my cousin more.

"Aight bet."

Dom catered to my every need for the rest of the day, and I knew it was because he sensed something was bothering me.

He tried his best to busy me with our baby shower plans, and for most of the day, it did work.

We had our color scheme together.

Knowing that we were having a girl put my mind at ease.

I felt like I wouldn't know what to do with a boy because I was naturally a soft person.

Now, my cousin was the total opposite. That girl could raise an army of men if she really wanted to.

After outlining the décor, invitations, and guest list for the baby shower, I just laid in bed for the rest of the day.

My mind was on Nyoka.

I knew she was leaving, but I wondered where she would go.

All our lives, Nyoka would be on the move, and every time we spoke, she would be in a new city.

I wondered where she was going to settle.

I'm sure I would hear from her once she was healed and feeling back to herself, though.