Page 13

Nyoka

Adonis was ready to go back to Joy's house to face the music of his family drama, and I didn't quite know how to tell him that I would rather stay in the hotel while he handled his business.

He had been standoffish ever since I asked about his ex.

Because I was an overthinker, the last thing that I wanted to do was create some distance between us.

After all, we were in his city, and I could tell how, even after the time spent away from his ex, her presence still affected him.

One thing I wasn't was na?ve, and I could tell there still had to be some kind of love there.

His reassuring me that all feelings were gone wasn't matching his actions of wanting to shoot someone over the mention of fucking her.

My heart was in my ass while Adonis spent thirty-seven minutes away from me the night before.

He told me he was driving around to get his head straight, so I had to take it for what he said.

We ended the night cuddled with one another, and that felt good, so I wasn't going to press whatever narratives I had made up in my head.

"Why are you not getting dressed?" he asked me as he walked out of the bathroom.

The steam created from his being in the shower followed him out.

Adonis' hair was locked in tight curls as it always did when he wet it.

I wasn't the motherly type, and I knew, but I couldn't help but think that if we had children, they had to have his tight coils and light brown eyes.

"I umm…" I stopped speaking when the sound of his phone ringing cut me off.

He rushed over to it and quickly answered, making me raise my eyebrow suspiciously. Stop overthinking, I silently coached myself, nah fuck that, I thought, because one thing about Adonis is that he moved on his own damn time with everything. How he talked, walked, hell, even how he fucked was on his own timing and to his own tune, so seeing him rush to that phone ignited a fire of jealousy in the pit of my stomach.

"It's Joy," he said before answering.

That settled my stomach a bit, but still, I was guarded as hell.

"Yeah, we're still coming," he said into the phone before turning to me and holding it in my direction. "Here."

"Huh?" I asked.

"Take the phone. Joy wanna talk to you."

"Um, okay," I took the phone from him. "Hello?" I said once it was to my ear.

"We need to speak when y'all get here."

I sat there silent for a while because Onyx's voice was just how I remembered, and it was one that I would never forget.

"Okay."

"See you soon, Snake Eyes."

I sat there with the phone in my hand after she had hung up on me.

"Get dressed," Adonis instructed once he took his phone out of my hand.

I was in no mood to get dressed, so I opted for a pair of black boyfriend jeans, a gray army fatigue Bape and Ape shirt, and a pair of gray Yeezy slides. One thing I loved about Adonis is that he loved to match. He had picked out all our outfits for this little vacation.

"Are you ready to sit down with your mom and your grandmother?" I asked, trying to get Adonis to rethink going to Joy's house.

Over the phone, I couldn't read Onyx's energy, and that worried me. I hoped that his nerves would have him back out.

"Yeah, we're leaving tomorrow, so this gotta get done. I need to get all this pain up off my chest so that I can move forward from all the bullshit."

"Okay, okay," was the only response I could offer.

I sat on the end of the bed as I waited for him to finish getting dressed. He held the hotel door open for me, and then we made our exit.

The ten-minute drive to Joy's house was too fast if you asked me. I could see Adonis' brother sitting on the front porch when we had driven past. My nerves were so damn bad when we parked over the gravel that covered the side driveway. Adonis had cut the engine and then walked around to open the door for me.

"Go ahead, I'm gonna follow you. I gotta get myself together."

He knew I hated being around awkward situations, and his family situation was one, and he knew it.

"Aight, don't take forever. I need you in there with me," Adonis replied before kissing my forehead.

I watched as he went into the back of the house, and once he was inside, I dashed to my trunk. I lifted the cover to where my spare tire was supposed to be. In that part of my car, I had a shitload of weapons. I didn't make it this far to get taken out, and if I was going to be, I was going out with a fight. I lifted my foot and placed it inside the back of the truck as I quickly lifted the left leg to my jeans. I strapped an ankle holder onto myself and then placed a silver .22 into the holster. I grabbed another gun and placed it into my back waistband. I grabbed my favorite hunter's knife and then tucked it into the holder I had on my calf. I was giving the concealed Tomb Raider look, but I didn't care. I walked up to the house and then let myself in.

Adonis

Nyoka walked into the house nervously, like this family drama was hers to bear. I patted the spot beside me on the couch so she could sit. Once she was seated beside me comfortably, I tossed my arm around her shoulders. Joy had us all sitting in the living room having a fucking family meeting. When I say everybody, I mean everybody. On the longest part of the sectional sat me, Nyoka, Adira, and Javier, and then Jolene was seated in the chair closest to the front door. Although so much shit had been revealed to us, we all had a certain amount of respect for Joy to stay seated while she conducted this meeting.

"Thank you for joining us, Nyoka," Joy said as she stood in the middle of the living room in front of us.

I saw how Jolene looked Nyoka's way with Joy's statement. I pulled her closer to me because I didn't know what the fuck she was looking at.

"Now I'm gonna speak, and all questions or comments will be saved until the very end." Joy had this teacher vibe to her for as long as I could remember.

"Come on, Joy, a nigga wanna go hoop at the park."

"Javier, you gone sit here and hear this too, so forget about that damn basketball. Now… I'm y'all grandmother. Y'all remember y'all mother." She pointed in Jolene's direction. "There is a reason I never said oh, I'm Nana."

"You wanna be called Nana, Joy? That's some old lady stuff."

"Javier, if you interrupt me one more time, I'ma put belt to ass. Don't let my age fool you."

We all looked at Javier as he sat back on the chair and shut his ass up.

"Now, the reasoning for this is because long before Jolene was thought about, I chose a path of murder-for-hire."

Adira raised her damn hand how she used to when we were kids when she wanted to say something during these family meetings.

"Yes?" Joy asked.

"So you killed people before Joy?" Adira asked.

"Did she…" Jolene stated with an excitement that made me feel sick to my stomach.

It was like she was proud that Joy just openly admitted to being a murderer. There was a slight look of shame on Joy's face as she shook her head up and down to answer Adira.

"Now, when y'all was born, I was still stuck in my ways. Seeing that raising y'all was a handful for Jolene, I decided to step in and raise y'all myself."

Adira had raised her hand again.

"Yes?" Joy questioned.

"So why you just didn't say that you were our grandmother, Joy?" she questioned.

"If I told y'all that, don't you think y'all would have been pressuring me about where your mother was?"

We sat quietly because we knew that we would have collectively.

"Now, as for Jolene…" Joy started.

"Ain't shit," I finished.

I couldn't help myself. Joy cut eyes at me. It was cool that she was her days Foxy Brown. That was on her. Even still, she had raised her kid. What the fuck was Jolene's excuse?

"Okay, Joy was out putting niggas in the dirt and then decided to become Martha Stewart overnight. Where were you when she was raising your kids?"

"I had picked up where she left off." Jolene turned in my direction to answer.

It infuriated me because how she could just sit in our faces and seem emotionless was crazy.

"You checked out on being a mother to check niggas into body bags? Make it make sense."

"It's not supposed to make sense to you because I did what was best for me."

I took my arm from around Nyoka and then stood.

"Why have kids if you were gone be selfish?"

"Something happened with y'all daddy, and then I did what was best for me."

"Putting the blame on someone else because you're an ain't-shit mother is insane."

"I done let enough cuss words fly up out ya mouth, Baby."

Joy was now standing beside me with her arms crossed over her breasts.

"I'm grown. I'm not putting the blame on no damn body." Jolene was now standing from her seat.

"So then, why didn't you just give us up as soon as we were born? Why would you ever sit there and have us create memories with yo—"

"Because I thought I could do it!" she yelled.

She was breathing heavily, and so was I. Everything in me wanted to slam her ass all over the ground like a bag of ice.

"I had the parenting stuff going good when I had y'all father around. When he could no longer be around, I just felt overwhelmed."

"You shoulda swallowed us then. You're weak for falling to shit just because a nigga wasn't around. I'm thirty years old, and I ain't ever see Joy sweat. A man ain't ever been around this bitch, and she has been holding it down. So in my eyes, you'll always be a weak-ass bitch."

"Baby, go and take a walk," Joy jumped in.

"Nah, Ma, let him get this shit off his chest," Jolene interjected before turning to me. "If I'm weak because I gave my kids to the strongest person I know, then so be it."

"Yeah… weaker than a muthafucka."

I was testing her, and I knew by the glare in her eyes that I was getting under her skin.

"Baby! A walk," Joy was damn near yelling.

I was disrespecting her house in the worst way, and I knew it. This was the second day, too. I walked past Jolene, and I had half a mind to bump her on the way out, but I didn't.

"Aye, bruh, I'm coming," Javier stood to follow me out.

I needed to run to the liquor store because just having that woman around me got up under my skin. Out of my peripheral, I saw Nyoka stand, so I held my hand open behind me so that she could grab it as she always does.

"Nyoka, I need a word with you," I heard Joy say.

I turned around and made eye contact with Nyoka, and she just nodded her head for me to go.

I knew Joy must have wanted to have that heart-to-heart with her that she hadn't been able to do since we had come into town.

"Where we going, bruh?" Javier asked once we were on the porch.

"The liquor store."

"Now that's what the fuck I'm talking about," he eagerly responded as if Joy's ass was gonna let him drink.

I knew deep down in my heart that I could forgive Joy, but when it came to her daughter, the woman was dead to me the moment she walked out of the door and told us that someone would be there for us in a bit.

Nyoka

I looked out the screen door and watched Adonis and Javier walk toward my Jeep until I couldn't see them anymore.

All of this information was entirely too much for me.

I was trying to rush out the door with Adonis when he was going, but Joy wanted to speak with me.

I wasn't sure what it was about, but it bothered me that her daughter was coming along for the sit-down.

Onyx did say on the phone that we needed to talk, but I felt like this wasn't the place for the kind of talking we had to do.

I had my ears wide open and locked in.

Joy she said that she used to do murder-for-hire. The shit must run in their blood. It was cool but also very sad because both women put The Heart Mirage before their own children.

I subsided my inner thoughts as I followed behind Onyx, who followed behind Joy.

We quickly made our way toward the shed in the backyard.

Joy pulled a key out of her pants pocket and then unlocked a padlock on the door.

We followed behind her into the dark shed.

She flicked a light on the wall, and on the shelves around us were canned goods and what looked like moving boxes had the words photos and toys on them.

"Ma, was it necessary to talk in this dusty shed?"

"Privacy is golden, Jolene. Now shut your mouth," Joy ordered as she walked to the back of the shed toward a weird-looking door.

She put her finger onto this pad that looked to be scanning her print.

Ding.

She pulled the door open, and there was an open elevator behind it.

Both Onyx and I silently followed behind.

All three of us stepped into the steel box.

My stomach went hollow as it started to descend.

I don't know if it was the motion from the elevator or it was the fact that I was locked in a steel box with a stone-cold killer and her mom.

I wondered how Joy could even tolerate Onyx wanting to be an assassin.

I knew if I ever decided to have children, I would be hanging my necklace up.

When we stepped off the elevator, Joy flipped a switch.

As she walked into the room's darkness, lights on the ceiling illuminated with each step. The same crescent that was hung around Onyx's neck hung on the wall.

"Have a seat," Joy instructed as she took one at the head of the table.

Everything seemed normal to Onyx. As I looked around the room and at the pictures on the wall, everything was starting to make sense to me.

One picture in particular stood out to me.

I can tell that it was Joy in her younger years.

She had on a white fur coat with a matching headband, and her arms wrapped around the head of the agency.

His coat matched hers.

The photo had this sepia tint to it, so I knew it was old as hell.

She wore her hair in big ass curls, and she looked so damn happy.

I squinted and saw that on her neck, like the head of the agency, she had the exact necklace I once owned. She said earlier that she used to do murder-for-hire, but now I was just learning that she was a Supreme.

When I looked away from the photo, I saw Joy was looking me dead in the eyes.

"The contract on your head is null and void."

I was about to say yes, ma'am, and just keep my mouth shut for the rest of this meeting because I now knew exactly whose presence I was in, but Onyx had taught me the art of the poker face, so I didn't fold under pressure.

"How?" I asked, wanting her to give me the validity of her identity.

"I think you know exactly who I am."

"Queen of Hearts?" I questioned.

My eyes wandered off to the big-ass queen of hearts playing card that hung on another wall in the room.

Joy didn't even have to give me a response because when I looked across the table at Onyx, she was smiling proudly.

Now I understood how Joy could approve of Onyx's lifestyle because she was the start of it all.

As a little girl, I had heard so many stories about the woman I had gotten the pleasure of knowing for the past few months.

All stories were filled with heartless adventures of murderous madness.

I could tell that whenever Joy had hung her necklace up she had buried her heartlessness right with it. Having the bounty on my head dissolved was a prime example of that.

It felt good to know that I could now walk around freely.

"I'm big on family, Nyoka. I always have been. That's why I made the decision to retire so that my hard-headed daughter here could chase her dreams. I see how Baby cares for you. You're family, and I will always protect my family."

In that moment, I had gained a love for Joy that would be everlasting.

"It's up to you to come clean to Adonis…"

Once the words left Joy's mouth, Onyx dropped her head in defeat. We all just witnessed firsthand what happened when they had broken the news to him. I knew he had only forgiven Joy because she was, in fact, the woman who had raised him.

Onyx was a stranger to him. I wondered how he would take it if I came clean.

"I'll figure out how to do it in my own way," I reassured.

Joy looked at me with uncertain eyes but didn't object to my decision.

"How have you been, Snake Eyes?" Onyx asked.

We sat at the table for what felt like hours, just talking. Joy was letting us know that there were going to be some changes coming. Because I had the lifestyle I had been seeking, I let them know I was no longer interested in picking up contracts. Onyx told me that if I ever changed my mind, a call was all that I had to make. I kept that in the back of my mind, but I was good where I was at.

"Effective immediately, Jolene, you are the head of the agency."

We both gave Joy a look.

"What happened with the current head?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Murray is officially retired. It's time that he tends to me."

"Tend to you?" Onyx questioned.

"Yes… tend to me."

Joy pulled open a drawer under the table and then placed two rings on her ring finger. For Onyx to be one of the most intelligent women I had ever encountered, she was having a slow moment.

"That man is your husband?" she asked with a raised tone.

"And ya daddy…"

I opened my eyes wide to that one, but then I quickly let them fall back to normal size when I thought about the similarities in physical looks that ran from the head of the agency to Joy and then Adira and Adonis. They all shared the same skin complexion as well as those light brown eyes.

"Joy, don't play with me." Onyx's tone was stone cold.

"I'm not."

Joy was a force that couldn't be reckoned with for sure. She sat there unfazed at the fit that her child was throwing. Onyx cut eyes at me. And when she did, Joy spoke immediately after.

"This is a private conversation for Jolene and me. Nyoka, you are free to go."

I stood from the table and found my way out the same way I was shown in.

Adonis' family was full of drama and secrets. I admired how they cared for one another, but a piece of me was relieved that I didn't have any family of my own to deal with this kind of drama. I walked through the backyard and around the side of the house. Seeing Adonis sitting on the front porch with his brother and sister, I was relieved.

"Hey sexy lady…" he cooly said as soon as I stepped onto the porch.

He puckered his lips for a kiss, and I obliged. I could tell that he was drinking in my absence because of the gloss tint over his eyes. I sat in the chair that was beside him.

"Was Joy talking your head off?" he asked as he placed his hand on my thigh.

"Something like that."

"She probably was tryna school you on what to do with me when I get hot like that."

I wish she had given me the blueprint on how to handle Adonis when his temper arose because the night before, with his friends, was a prime example of when that man exploded. I didn't know jack shit about him. I had made it up in my mind that he needed to know about me. This entire vacation was filled with him being hit back-to-back with bullshit, so I knew I wouldn't say anything now. When we got back to our home, I figured it would be best.

We sat on the porch drinking while the three reminisced about their childhood. They had so many funny stories about growing up that I wish could have filled my childhood.

"So, is Dom our real cousin?" Adonis asked Adira.

"He's gotta be because Joy said that's her brother's son."

"So damn… ain't nobody my real family?" Javier asked.

There was this sadness in his tone that made me feel bad for him, but the way I saw it was he was surrounded by his real family. Adopted or not, his last name was still Loving, and the Loving family loved on him.

"I don't think so, boo, but we are all family," Adira said in a soft tone.

"I hear you, sis, but this is bullsh—" Javier cut his statement short when Joy and Jolene walked out the front door.

It was always the respect that all three had for me not to utter a curse word around Joy. A stiffness came over Adonis' demeanor as soon as Jolene stepped on the porch.

"Y'all can finish talking," she said.

One thing about Jolene was that she tucked her tail for no one. Her attitude was just that, and no one would waiver that, not even her own children.

"Ya attitude is kinda sassy for somebody that's dead wrong."

All of us turned in Adira's direction. It was shocking because she was the only one accepting of Jolene's presence at first. I could tell that the liquor was talking to her. I think that Jolene picked up on that as well because she ignored the statement.

"So what happened to our daddy? You mentioned him, and I definitely remember him being a good father."

Adonis had finally looked up from his phone. The topic at hand must have been an interest of his. Jolene gritted her teeth, and when she did, Joy placed her hand on her shoulder. I could tell that it was a tactic to calm her.

"What happened to him is what happened. What else do you want to ask me?" Jolene responded.

"My daddy loved me. I remember that. What did you do? Leave him behind how you left us?"

And there it was… the feeling of abandonment that I honestly would have shown from the beginning. I guess Adira was one of those people who would try to make things work until she realized she couldn't. Adonis was the total opposite. When he didn't fuck with you, he showed it from the very beginning.

"He did love you. He loved you not like how a father was supposed to, and once I noticed that shit… I killed him."

"Well, damn…" Javier mumbled under his breath.

We sat on the front porch in sort of a circle, but this wasn't some Kumbaya shit.

Joy was seated beside Jolene, then Adira, Adonis, me, and then Javier.

I could see the tears build in Adira's eyes, and unfortunately, I was able to relate to that pain.

It was suppressed memories at its finest.

Adonis had removed his hand from my thigh and then went to console his sister immediately.

I didn't know how much he had remembered from their childhood of whatever had happened to her, but she remembered, and the cry that escaped her mouth let me know we had shared an unfortunate core memory that I had experienced.

She was lucky to get a person like Joy afterward.

When my mother's friends had their way with me, I didn't have anyone caring afterward to help me work through it.

Jolene went to console Adira, but Adonis' tone stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Touch my sister and watch what I do to you."

"Baby…" Joy pleaded.

"No, Joy, why is she even still here?" he asked.

Joy was about to open her mouth, but Jolene rose from her seat.

"Ma, I'm leaving."

Jolene walked into the house, and Joy followed behind her. Adonis wrapped his arms around Adira, and Javier rushed over to join the group hug. It was a touchy moment because besides having Joy, they only had each other.

"I shoulda stayed my ass in Georgia with all of this bullshit."

I silently agreed with Adonis.

I would have been better off not knowing half of the shit that I had learned by coming on this trip.

We were due to leave in the morning, and I felt like we just couldn't catch a break. Every day of what was supposed to be a weekend getaway was a new day for hidden discovery.

The boys consoled Adira, and I played bartender, pouring us shots in between her going over what she remembered. When the night ended, Adonis had to be the one to drive us back to the hotel.

"I can't take no more fucking secrets, Ny. A nigga gone lose it for real," Adonis randomly said once we were parked outside of the hotel.

It was so random that I wondered if we were that connected that he felt like deep down I was hiding something from him. Lies are like scars on the soul, and I was willing to tear mine up just to give him the peace that he deserved.

"I can't wait to get home," Adonis huffed before exiting the car.

"Me either," I mumbled right before he opened the door for me.