Page 94 of I Dreamt That You Loved Me

I refused to face any other possibility. Clinging to that hope gave me the strength to put a smile on my face.

I didn’t want him to go into surgery seeing anythingbutmy smile.

We were married by the hospital chaplain.

Eddie showed up with two rings. Tyler brought flowers from the gift shop and a Polaroid camera. Devin was in charge of music. They’d all been sent on the errands while Gabriel had been discussing his wishes so the whole thing came together quickly.

Devin joked that it was like a scavenger hunt. I guess Gabriel was pretty confident that I’d say yes.

When the chaplain declared us husband and wife, “Wonderwall” played from the boombox. I grabbed Gabriel’s face and kissed his lips.

“I love you. Now and forever,” I said.

Then, in the spirit of the occasion, I tossed my bouquet. The guys all ducked and dodged, so it ended up in the hands of one of the nurses who informed us she was already married but thought our wedding was so romantic that she was going to take the flowers home and dry them to have as a keepsake.

I wish I’d thought of that, but it was too late now. I couldn’t ask for the flowers back. Besides, I’d gotten the ring and the husband and a stack of photos that I would cherish forever.

When the others departed to give us a few minutes of privacy, we just lay on the hospital bed together without speaking. There were so many things I wanted to say but just being next to him, holding his hand, was enough.

All too soon, the nurse told me it was time to go so they could prep Gabriel for surgery.

“I love you.” I gave him a final kiss and climbed off the bed. “I’ll see you soon.”

He snagged my hand like he never wanted to let me go. “We’ll do this again in May and we’ll go on that honeymoon. Anywhere you want to go. Sky’s the limit, baby.”

I smiled. “Sky’s the limit.”

On my way out the door, I passed an orderly with a razor in his hand and my knees buckled.

Please don’t shave off all his hair. Such a stupid thing to care about.

Outside his room, I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes, my thumb spinning the smooth metal on my ring finger.

Then I stumbled down the hall to a pay phone and called my mom.

When she answered, I broke.

I was crying so hard she had to ask me to repeat what I’d said. “Please come.”

“I’m on my way.”

We all milled around in the waiting room, playing musical chairs. Tyler, Devin, Eddie, Annika who had arrived shortly after my mom and Sean. Normally, I would have questioned why my mom and Sean came together, but I was just glad they were here, so I didn’t ask.

A hospital waiting room has a strange vibe. A mixture of the mundane and the macabre.

The fluorescent lighting was unforgiving. The air smelled like stale coffee, wet dog, and Lysol, and the hours ticked by so slowly that every time I checked the clock on the wall, I was astonished to see that the big hand had only moved an inch.

We alternated between sitting on hard plastic chairs and roaming the halls aimlessly. We took bathroom breaks andmade coffee runs. We lived in our little bubble, separated from the outside world.

“I thought Monks was bad enough, but you one-upped yourself and got married in a hospital room,” Annika joked.

“Shame you missed it,” Eddie said with a smirk. “It was a beautiful ceremony.”

She scowled at him. “That’s just rude.”

“When you have your second wedding at Monks,” Sean said. “I’ll get the good wine.”

“I knew you were holding out on us,” Devin said.