Page 34 of Hunted (Love and Revenge #5)

Ruya

I was afraid of what this recent assassination mission had cost Robin and Yukio.

Both of them had been wounded by it, just in different ways.

Yukio was struggling through the memories it had stirred up of when he was O’Dell’s tool.

I knew it was hard for him, but I also knew he’d pull through, he just needed time and reassurance.

Robin, however... doing someone else’s bidding was one more stressor on a system that was already on the verge of collapse.

Her apha dragon nature couldn’t take much more strain.

It seemed like I was getting even more sensitive to the alphas in the court as the days passed.

Even though I wasn’t fully bonded to Robin the way our natures demanded, I could still sense her presence from across the private wing of The Fox.

And, whether from my omega instincts or purely because of my healing powers, I could also sense the tinge of desperation and exhaustion that clung to her all the time now.

Earlier this evening, as I sat with Sadavir in the living room, making plans that I knew would destroy Robin, I had felt her there, lingering in the hallway.

Her fiery aura had felt stirred up, agitated and out of control.

But I didn’t call out to her then. Because I couldn’t help her.

Not as I was now. Not until I helped myself.

With the help of Sanka and the others in the court, I had done a lot of research in the past few months, as I slowly acquired and adapted to my omega powers.

And thankfully, they hadn’t limited what I could read or listen to, hadn’t attempted to give me only the facts that would make me more subservient, the way my previous family would have done.

I knew now that this omega thing wasn’t all heats and the impulse to please.

Omegas were meant to be more than pretty, delicate fetish objects for the amusement of the more powerful designations around them.

They were meant to balance the more powerful—or at least more explosive—alphas around them.

But it was becoming very obvious to me now, in a very real way that no research material could ever convey, that this was a two-way street.

I also needed anchoring. I needed a strong foundation to stand on before I could safely pour out my magic and my love to those who needed it.

It had taken me too long to figure this out, even with the court’s support and resources. Every omega should be gifted with a handbook the moment they are born. Blundering through this awakening was one of the most frustrating things I had ever done.

I snorted at the thought of a “Baby’s First Heat,” or “Guide to Taming Pig-headed Alphas,” picture book. Then I sighed heavily. Even if being what I was did come with a manual, The Mother would only have stolen it and burned it to ash to keep me blind to my true power in the world.

I dragged a brush through my hair, pulling myself back from that unhelpful tangent.

There was little use in dwelling on the past. I couldn’t change that now.

But I could do better moving forward. I had a true family now, not one built on lies and manipulation.

Sanka and Cicely had helped me find some trustworthy sources about omega power and bonds on the internet, and I’d listened to books, articles, and interviews from paranormal sources.

I was also getting better at listening to my body and the innate wisdom inside me.

I had a better understanding now of what was going wrong.

Robin was buckling under the strain of her missing magic, her coming of age, her vendetta against the syndicate, Acacia’s demands.

.. but also because she lived within touching distance of an omega who had all the indicators of being a true mate match for her.

She welcomed me to her bed and granted me every courtesy she could, all without the benefit of a full true mate bond.

Apparently, unattached omegas usually didn’t spend so much time around alphas.

They especially didn’t form close emotional bonds or romances with a potential true mate unless it was leading up to a bonding.

Because the instinctual drive in our DNA would cause one or both parties to go a bit insane if they weren’t bonded.

More hormonal, baked-in, paranormal nonsense to deal with.

Part of me wished I’d been born a beta, with all the nurturing, caring instinct but no heats or pheromones getting in the way.

Although, betas had to be careful too...

their instinct to do whatever an alpha demanded could also be dangerous.

Maybe a gamma, then, with a little bit more fight and defiance in my soul so I could push back more easily.

Goddess knew I’d never want to be a pushy, arrogant alpha.

But since I was an Omega, and there wasn’t anything to be done about it now, I needed to fully embrace every aspect of who I was.

I desperately wanted to help Robin, and Sadavir—and the others as well—through the hardest times of their lives.

To be their heart. But I had come to realize I couldn’t do that if I wasn’t anchored, if I felt adrift, and lost, and. .. inadequate for the task.

A powerful omega could, according to my sources, calm raging storms in those around them.

A happy, well-adjusted omega could, apparently, unconsciously exude calming chemicals and consciously extend their aura to those in need.

I had the ability within me to offer comfort and a sense of purpose that went beyond the usual level, grounding alphas, and to a lesser extent the other designations as well.

I could steady Robin the way every fiber of my being wanted to, for example, keep her together until she got her birthright magic back and help her through her coming of age.

But I couldn’t do it alone.

Sadavir never pushed. He never demanded that I act on the clear potential that lay between us.

Oh, he wasn’t shy about declaring me his potential true mate, or about letting me know he would bond with me in an instant.

But he never raged about it. In fact... he seemed to think it was just inevitable.

That we’d get around to it when I was ready.

He acted as though he was my fate, like we were a destiny that was just waiting to be fulfilled.

It was strange. Infuriating and a bit overwhelming at times—especially with my background.

But it was also endearing. To have someone show such surety about you, such quiet faith in their love for you.

Sadavir was strong. A prince among his people.

And I suspected he, much like Robin, was overpowered even for an alpha.

And yet, he looked at me—a blind, naive, mess of a person still figuring out who she was—and saw his life mate.

And he was content to be patient while I got around to seeing it for myself. It was staggering sometimes.

But his utter, unwavering devotion was exactly what I needed right now.

And not just for cold, calculated reasons.

Not just so I could manage Robin, or because she refused to bond with me.

He wasn’t a fallback plan or a second choice.

It was deeper than that. I loved him. I wanted to tie my life to his and accept all he had to offer, all we had to offer each other.

It just so happened that giving into my instincts and desires in this instance would also help the entire rebel court. Even if they didn’t like it.

According to all my resources, there was some intangible change that would occur once I was bonded to a strong alpha. My magic would have more depth. I’d become a little stronger, physically. And I’d become better able to process and balance everyone else’s emotions and needs.

It wasn’t the giving up of free will that Robin always went on about. Bonding was me stepping into my full power. Or at least, it could be. With the right person.

And so, I’d made my decision.

The memory of Sadavir’s shock and elation when I told him what I wanted still caused a feeling of warmth to bloom all through my body. This might be terrible timing. But... it was right. I knew it in my soul. The bonding ceremony would happen tomorrow night.

A ceremony wasn’t really necessary, but Sadavir had insisted it.

He said if he were back home, if we were with the naga court, the whole thing would be an elaborate celebration of two souls finding union and that the entire royal family would help us plan dancing and feasts, that there would be fancy clothing made just for the occasion, and the celebration would last anywhere from a couple of weeks to a month or more.

It hurt my heart to hear him talk of his home and the sense of honor and pride his bonding would have once garnered as a prince amidst his family.

He apologized for not being able to give me all that grandeur now, like some hopeless romantic from a novel.

So, when he insisted on taking one little extra day to prepare for our bonding, I couldn’t deny him that.

Even if the waiting made me jittery and light-headed, now that the decision had been made.

I was doing this. I was really doing this. I just hoped Robin didn’t explode and burn down the entire theater in her rage.

A soft tap at my door brought me out of my trance, and I stood from my seat by the vanity. Cicely. I could feel him there, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit that I was relieved. I needed my beta mate. I could use a bit of encouragement.

“Come in,” I called softly, crossing the room to sit on the edge of the bed.

I’m not bothering you? he said into my mind. Thought I should check in, just in case you developed a case of the pre-wedding jitters.

I huffed a laugh. “I’m not getting married .” Though, really, bonding to a true mate was even more of a commitment than a human nuptial ceremony. There were promises, then there were promises bound by magic. Breaking a true mate bond once it was established had dire consequences.

Cicley sat beside me and took my hand in his, threading our fingers together and letting me bask in his warm, soft, beta presence.

You’re doing the right thing, he said in my mind, his words tinged with a sense of solidarity.

I’ll be by your side. Always. I will ask your alpha to accept me into his clan as well. So we will never be parted.

I squeezed his hand as his words sank in. “You’re... afraid Sadavir would come between us? That I wouldn’t want you anymore?”

He gave a low, airy rasp, his version of a chuckle.

No. But some alphas would try to be rid of the perceived distraction from their affections.

I’ve refused to pledge myself to either of the alphas and maintained my primary allegiance to you.

I’m not Sadavir’s beta. I’m yours. It’s an unusual way of aligning oneself.

Another alpha might be jealous, or territorial.

Might toss me out... maybe even kill me just to be safe.

I tensed up at his words. “What? You can’t be serious!”

I felt him shrug. I’ve seen it happen among the fae.

A beta with a good alpha is the happiest person alive.

But, much like omegas... we can be manipulated.

That bond can be used for nefarious purposes.

And unlike an omega, we aren’t as valuable or rare.

We’re easily tossed aside and replaced if we do anything an alpha doesn’t like. ”

I shook my head. “Sadavir would never treat you like that,” I said firmly. I doubted he’d treat anyone like that, honestly, even an enemy. The list of people I thought he might actually harm was short—mostly dominated by Acacia and the vampire clan.

No, Cicely said, confirming my sentiment.

He wouldn’t. And aside from your attachment to him.

.. I do like your alpha. It’s an honor to stay with you.

I’m just letting you know that I will stay.

No matter what anyone else has to say on the matter.

I’m yours, Ruya. I’ll still be yours, even when you share a fated soul-bond with someone else. ”

I reached up and found his cheek, let my hand rest along his jaw and pull him closer for a soft kiss. “I’d never even think of trying to leave you behind, Cicely. You’re a part of my heart. I couldn’t imagine not having you by my side.”

The words rang truer than ever before, having nearly lost him so recently.

He leaned his forehead against mine. I know.

We are the same in that regard, my beautiful, wild witch.

Then he moved away, drawing me to my feet.

Now, you need to get some sleep. I would be a terrible beta if I let you stay up all night worrying and end up with bags under your eyes on your bonding day.

I huffed a tired laugh and crawled into bed, already in my pajamas.

Cicely rustled around for a moment removing his shirt before he slid in with me and drew me into his arms. Sweet dreams, Ruya, he said, more a statement of his intentions than a request. He would make sure my dreams were sweet with his dream weaving.

Everything will work itself out. You’ll see.

I yawned, resisting sleep for just a little longer. “But... Robin,” I whispered, guilt still weighing heavy in my soul.

He kissed my forehead. The dragon is stronger, smarter, and more resilient than even she gives herself credit for—and that’s saying a lot.

I chuckled with him at that. He wasn’t wrong.

She did have a very high opinion of how much she should be able to endure.

But still... I hadn’t told her. I wasn’t sure if I should tell her until the deed was done.

Cicely was the only one who knew about me and Sadavir’s plans at the moment.

I felt like if I told the others, they’d only try to stop me, or start some huge discussion about all the pros and cons and, well.

.. it was my life. I would do whatever I felt was right.

And Robin... maybe it was better to just rip the bandaid off all at once, rather than letting her stew on it. Or try to prevent it.

“She’ll murder us both,” I whispered into the dark.

Cicely squeezed me tighter. She won’t. She might rage and moan. But she will understand. She is just like the rest of us, you know—utterly incapable of denying you any happiness.

I snorted into his chest, feeling like a spoiled brat. It was a strange feeling, being spoiled. One I’d never really felt until I came here to this court. And I kind of liked it.