Page 11 of Hunted (Love and Revenge #5)

Josh

S omething niggled at the back of my mind. I had been doing something, hadn’t I? Why couldn’t I remember? Why was I out here in the hallway? The lingering whisp of thought faded as fast as it had come.

I didn’t go back to my room. I couldn’t.

The walls in there had started to lean in when I wasn’t looking.

The air tasted like regret and scorched herbs—Sanka’s failed spell ingredients.

I needed to be somewhere else. Somewhere that didn’t scream failure every time I sat down.

They’d find me soon enough, I had no doubt.

Until then, I needed to breathe new air.

I left the guest wing and made my way to the small library room that was kept stocked for communal use. It was thankfully empty.

I had been surprised, when we had first arrived here, to find that the members of the supposedly uncouth, lowly rebel court of outcasts were avid readers.

I made a lap of the room, drawing in the scents, tracing a finger over the spines of the neatly ordered rows of books.

It smelled like that undefinable scent that books held—paper, and ink, and something else that defied description.

I paused by an entire bookcase full of romance novels, an involuntary smile curving my lips.

They would all be romantics at heart, wouldn’t they?

My smile faded, though, when I recalled the way Acacia had tried to trick Sadavir into fucking me. For no other reason than her own sick amusement.

She knew I was asexual. It was part of the reason she had charged me with looking after her menagerie while I was her captive. She assumed my lack of interest in fucking would keep me from forming any dangerous attachments to the blood slaves she abused every day.

Of course, she was only partially right.

I was extremely unlikely to get one of her traumatized women pregnant, I suppose.

But clearly, she didn’t understand anything about being asexual.

I still cared for people. I still formed attachments.

I even enjoyed romance in my life. I tried to keep that aspect to myself, of course, so she wouldn’t use the love between myself and Sadavir even more than she already used our friendship against us. But I’d clearly failed at that.

My hand shook and I dropped it, moving on to the adventure section of the library.

I was fine. Sadavir had figured out her game easily enough, and my virtue was still intact.

I shouldn’t worry about it. Besides, it would hardly have been the most horrible thing in the world if the man I loved made love to me.

I braced my forearm on the bookshelf and rested my head against it.

Who was I kidding right now? Was that what I would tell another person if they came to me in the same position?

Of course not. I would tell them their free will had been violated.

And that just because something didn’t hurt you didn’t mean it didn’t do harm.

I let myself actually feel the fury and helplessness that stupid encounter had left me with. Growling, I straightened and swiped my arm across the shelf with vicious vampire speed and strength, flinging books to the floor.

Then, I went and curled into the overstuffed armchair in the corner and waited for one of my wardens to come retrieve me. Sanka, probably. He got the burden of dealing with me most these days, thanks to his devotion to practicing his ward crafting on me.

I stared at nothing for a long time. Longer than I thought was safe. Was the rebel court really so lax about keeping tabs on me? Not that I wanted them to put themselves out by fussing over me day and night, but... I was a security risk. The thought was worrying.

“What did the poor books do to offend you?” Robin said from the doorway, her husky voice curling through the room like a caress, dripping alpha power.

I didn’t jump. I had sensed her approach. Her strong alpha aura was brighter than ever to my newly enhanced magical senses, and it flared now and then with some sort of... restless intensity. It gave her away long before she entered a room.

“I’ll pick them up.” I sighed and stood, moving to restore order, since I was the one who’d made the mess with my childish outburst. The poor books.

“Leave it,” Robin said lightly. Her smoky voice was soft, but her golden-brown eyes watched me with an intensity I didn’t enjoy.

If I didn’t have the new vampire attitude problem, the beta in me would probably be cowering right now, bowing and wanting to serve like the uselessly soft thing I’d once been.

I stiffened. Where had those thoughts come from?

They weren’t my own. At least... I hoped not.

I liked being a beta. I never wanted to be a pushy alpha or an asshole gamma.

I enjoyed taking care of people and anticipating their needs.

And while I was a beta when I was human, I hadn’t had the strong reaction to paranormal alphas that a paranormal beta would.

.. nothing about me had ever felt subservient.

Fucking Acacia. Planting doubt and self-loathing in me like invasive weeds.

“Josh?” Robin’s tone of voice said I’d best snap out of it and pay attention to the princess in the room, or I’d suffer the consequences. I almost smiled at the similarities between her and Sadavir. But I wasn’t quite in the smiling mood.

“I’m sorry,” I said, sinking back down into my chair. “Lost in thought.”

Robin flopped into the chair across from mine and tossed a book onto the floor to join the ones I’d knocked down.

The title read: Rituals of Internal Reclamation: Notes on Binding Reversals.

“Useless, in case you’re wondering,” she said with a nod to the poor book.

“I read it when I was looking for ways to restore my missing magic, unbind it from the birthright gem from a distance. Nothing there was a help to me. And there was nothing in it about vampires, if I recall correctly.”

She spoke of her magical handicap as if it didn’t shake her alpha nature to the core.

Always so poised, no external signs of what I suspected was some serious inner turmoil.

Never a hair out of place. Today, she wore some sort of designer wide-legged slacks and a sleeveless sky-blue silk shirt that brought out all the gold tones in her hair, skin, and eyes.

Her long hair was swept up into a classy pile on top of her head.

Her makeup was flawless, and her long nails were glossy red.

Perfectly polished beauty and effortless feminine allure.

And yet... I wasn’t fooled by all that beauty—the gorgeous, willowy woman currently draped across a chair like an art display was the most dangerous women I’d ever met.

I had delivered Acacia’s demands to her through Sanka. I had attacked Sadavir and escaped my room. I blinked at her, feeling oddly detached as I waited for the punishment to commence. I wondered if she’d kill me herself right now, or simply throw me out of the theater to fend for myself.

“ Relax ,” she said. “I’m not here to murder you.”

“I didn’t—” I started. But I stopped as a memory returned to me.

Her eyes gleamed. “Didn’t what ?”

I shook my head. “It was nothing. I fixed it.” I recalled the ward I had destroyed. And how I’d managed to re-draw it just like it had been before. At least... I thought I had. Hadn’t I? But... I didn’t know warding magic...

“Of course you did,” she said. “Because you’re a very well-adjusted involuntary vampire fledgling, and definitely not spiraling into insanity. And we can both trust everything that comes out of your pretty lips.”

I pressed my fingers to my temple. “With all due respect. I’m not in the mood for this. I’m in no shape to banter and beat around the bush, or to be belittled and mocked.”

“Perfect. Neither am I. And I’m sorry for mocking you.

It’s just how I show I care.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a wrapped candy.

Threw it at me. “Sanka found the ward Acacia used you to carve into the wall. A minor thing meant to weaken our defenses against her mind manipulation. He got rid of it.”

I caught the candy without looking, then glanced down to confirm it was just a normal strawberry candy. Nothing explosive or poisonous.

“She was just testing you—testing us. Seeing what she could get away with.” Robin let her head fall back, exposing her long, perfect throat in a way that made my inner monster sit up and take notice. “Don’t flagellate yourself over it, sweet thing.”

I unwrapped the candy and popped it into my suddenly dry mouth, trying not to recall the delicious burn of dragon blood on my tongue. What kind of alpha exposed her throat to a predator that way? She had to be doing this on purpose.

“I have resources,” she said softly, still not looking at me as she studied the fancy ceiling tiles. “Ones I’ve collected over the years to use when the time was right. Against the emperor. The syndicate.”

I glanced at her warily. “Acacia—” I started, but she waved it off.

“Let her lurk and listen. Let her try to foil my attempts at freeing you.” She smiled, slow and dangerous, and full of predatory glee.

“It’s a game, you see,” she purred. “I try to undo her little hold on you. She tries to stay one step ahead of me. The emperor dies either way, so we’ll get what we want in the end,” she said, lifting her head to stare directly into my eyes, the message clearly not for me, but for Acacia. “This just makes it more... fun.”

She dropped her head back over the arm of the chair and stared up at the ceiling, gesturing lazily toward me as she spoke.

“A curse breaker,” she said airily. “I stole him from the syndicate shifters a while back. He owes me a favor.” She shrugged lazily.

“I’m not sure if he can break a vampire blood bond, but we’ll give it a try, shall we? ”

I sat up straighter. “Where?”