Page 28 of How to Stake a Vampire

She was a middle-aged vampire with distinguished features and an obvious flair for histrionics. She brightened when she saw us.

“Ah, guests! Have you come to witness the tragic tale of my demise? To hear how I was brought low by a fiend most foul?”

“This place is a loony bin,” Bo huffed.

Most of Amberford’s supernatural community was certifiable, but I decided to keep that opinion to myself.

The werewolf looked like she was reconsidering her career options as she hurried toward the vampire. “Lady Atkins, please return to your bed.”

Lady Atkins was having none of this.

“My dear, I am but a shadow of my former self,” she protested. “A mere specter haunting the ruins of what once was a magnificent vampire. Surely you will allow me the small comfort of sharing my sorrows with these strangers before I meet my maker?”

The pixie ground her teeth. “No one is meeting their maker.”

Lady Atkins ignored her. Her eyes rounded when she noticed Barney. “Barnabas?”

“Muriel,” the vampire greeted coolly.

“How lovely of you to grace us with your wonderful presence!” Lady Atkins batted her eyelids and blushed slightly.

Didi and I exchanged a look. Our vampire coworker was more of a Lothario than any of us had previously suspected.

“This is an official visit,” Barney said coolly.

Lady Atkins deflated. “Oh.”

“We need to ask you some questions about last night,” Didi told the disappointed vampire.

A hair-raising ululation had us all freezing and Gavin’s horns popping out. Bo yelped and nearly stepped on the dragon newt’s tail.

The sound had come from the depths of the ward.

10

BAD BLOOD

The werewolf nurse paled. “Oh, no!”She turned and ran.

“You should give up, Joyce,” the pixie muttered darkly, following. “Hilda’s lost it.”

“Don’t do it, Hilda!” Joyce hollered. “He’s not worth losing your license over! Irene, what are you waiting for?!”

The witch dashed out from behind the nurse’s station and joined the pair as they pelted down the passage.

We exchanged an awkward glance as the sounds of their footsteps faded.

“Maybe we should go after them,” I suggested.

“Do we have to?” Bo asked.

Gavin and Didi looked like they shared my dog’s opinion.

Barney sighed. “Come on.”

He led the way down the corridor, Lady Atkins following us at a cautious distance.

We traced the source of the altercation to a side room and found the nursing trio manhandling the dwarf nurse while the latter attempted valiantly to behead a vampire with a battleaxe twice her size.