Page 74 of How to Belong with a Billionaire

“I think,” I said shakily, “I win the prize tonight for failing to show someone how much I care about them.”

She made a sceptical noise, halfway between a snort and a sniffle. “Don’t bother. I know who I am and I don’t expect people to like me.”

“I do like you.”

“Well, you betrayed me.”

I hung my head, pickling in guilt. “I know. It was a mistake, and a horrible thing to do. I don’t know what happened.”

“I don’t fucking care.”

Oh God. I needed to fix this—somehow, I needed to fix this—and my brain was porridge. Turns out the grown-ups had been right all along: Don’t do drugs, kids. “Look”—I flapped about despairingly—“I’m not trying to make excuses here but Iwasa little bit off my head at the time. And yes, I was missing Caspian. But that doesn’t mean how I feel about you is a lie.”

No response from Ellery. Just her tight mouth and the blank stare of her sunglasses.

“I’m here for you,” I told her. “Because of you. And it has nothing to do with Caspian. Even if I never see him again, which is honestly looking increasingly likely, I’ll still want to be your friend.”

Her lip curled.

“I know that hasn’t always been the case with other people. But I’m not like that. I’m not”—my voice rose unexpectedly—“I’m not like Nathaniel.”

“I don’t know, Arden.” She folded her arms with stony precision. “Maybe you’re exactly like Nathaniel.”

I probably deserved that but it still stung. I took it, though, because my hurt wasn’t important right now. “I understand why you might think that way. I’ve lost your trust and I’ve made you feel used, and I regret it so very, very deeply.”

“I’m leaving now.” But she didn’t move, which gave me this tiny fairy spark of hope.

“Listen to me, Ellery.” Yep, I was begging. Probably pathetically. But I didn’t care. “You’re not who you think you are. I mean, okay, you’re kind of mean sometimes. Most of the time, actually. But you’re not a bad person. You’re weird and fun and loyal as fuck, and sometimes, when it counts, you’re incredibly sweet.”

“Wow.” Her voice was husky with unshed tears. “You really don’t know me at all.”

“Yes I do,” I cried. “You’ve been the most amazing friend to me. And I’m the world’s stupidest…stupidhead to have jeopardised it. I will do anything, literally anything, for a chance to prove I deserve you.”

There was a long silence.

“Please.” More tears spilled from my eyes. And some even less attractive things happened in the nose region, which I scrubbed at. “Please.”

“I…I…” Ellery glanced away. Swallowed. “I need some time, okay?”

I let out a long, wet breath. Obviously, in an ideal world everything would have been immediately sunshine and roses again. But this wasn’t an ideal world. It was just…the world. And Ellery had already been far kinder to me—far more forgiving—than I had any right to ask for. “Okay. Thank you.”

She adjusted the straps on her rucksack and headed for the door. I watched her go, trying not to feel hopelessly abandoned.

On the threshold, she paused. “Ardy?”

“Yes,” I said, too quickly.

“Take care of Broderick.”

“Of course I will.”

She half turned, her mouth twisted into its most mocking smile. “You’d better not try to snog him or anything, though. He’s sensitive.”

It wasn’t quite a joke. Wasn’t quite a barb. But I didn’t even have the dregs of a laugh in me. “I won’t. I promise.”

And then she was gone. The click of the shutting door made me flinch.

I don’t know why but I waited for two…three…five…minutes. Just standing there. But nothing happened beyond the drip of passing time. Wobbling back to the sofa, I rolled myself up even tighter than before. The warehouse closed around me, silent as a yawn.