Page 128 of How to Belong with a Billionaire

He had the self-awareness to blush. “No. Yes. That is, I’ve only just got you back. I’m not ready to countenance losing you to anyone.”

“I guess I’ll stay with you, then.” I heaved a heavy sigh. “Hugo’s going to be so bummed.”

“Well, he’ll have to endure it.”

I was quiet a moment, snuggled into Caspian. “For the record, I’m not up for doing any countenancing either.”

“You won’t have to you. I’m yours, my Arden.”

“I like the sound of that,” I whispered. Tilting my head up, I brushed my fingers lightly across his mouth. “M-my Caspian.”

I felt his lips shape several unuttered words before he said, “What you did for me tonight was extraordinarily kind and extraordinarily brave. It’s no wonder you’re exhausted and overwhelmed, and a little fragile.”

“You were brave too. It would have been a lot easier for you not to listen.”

“Once, it would have been.” He kissed my temple. “As you learned to your cost. I wish I could have reacted better when you first tried to help me.”

“And I wish I could have done a better job of, well, helping.”

“How can you say that? You’ve always thought better of me than I’ve ever been able to think of myself.”

“How about,” I suggested “you don’t go from blaming yourself for what happened to you to blaming yourself for not instantly getting over it.”

“But I put you through so much. Nathaniel too. All because—”

“Stop.” Turning, I kissed him into silence. “What’s done is done and this was always going to be hard. You told me I expect too much too quickly and you were right. It was super not okay of me to just assume that you’d trade your worldview for mine overnight. And then I made it all about Nathaniel instead of about you, and, honestly, I’ve fucked this up so many ways it’s amazing I made any kind of difference.”

“You did, Arden, you did. It’s just I was terrified of what it might mean if you were right. And so I ran to Nathaniel to prove you wrong. But you weren’t. And I couldn’t go back, and couldn’t go on, and then…then you came to save me again.”

“And this time”—I gave him a trembly smile—“you let me.”

“Well, I felt that recent events had systemically demonstrated every alternative strategy nonviable.”

I wouldn’t have imagined it was possible to miss Caspian’s emotionally challenged billionaire nerdspeak. But I had. I so had. “Yeah, current research indicates that Arden-centric strategies are twenty-three percent more productive than a placebo under laboratory conditions.”

“Are you laughing at me?”

“I’m loving you.”

He made a soft sound, a little pained, almost needy, and hid his face in my hair. “I still don’t know how to respond to that.”

“I love you toois traditional.”

“And I do, but I worry it could too easily sound perfunctory when it’s an echo.”

“For the record, I think you’re going to have to tell me you love me a whole lot more before it becomes perfunctory.”

“I will, I will.” Another, slightly fretful press of his lips. “I know I shouldn’t think this way but even the possibility that you could…that you could…”

I glowered at him. “Say it.”

“You’ve become quite demanding in my absence.”

“Actually,” I pointed out sheepishly, “I’ve always been demanding.”

He laughed. “So you have, my dearest tyrant.”

“Not…not in bad way, right?” The idea of becomingNathaniel II: Nathaniel Strikes Backwas horrifying.