Page 13 of How to Belong with a Billionaire

“You’re right, Arden. It was a glib and thoughtless remark, and I’m sincerely sorry for it. Your relationship with Caspian is none of my business.”

It was an odd moment. Firstly, because she hardly ever used my actual name, and secondly, because I wasn’t used to her being serious. And now both those things were happening at once. I swallowed. “Okay then.”

“As long as you’re sure.”

“I think I am.”

We drove along in silence for a while. And gradually I could breathe again.

“You know,” murmured George, “the blanket and hot chocolate option is always on the table.”

“But I want the kinky sex.”

She laughed. “Then tell me something else you like.”

Of course, this was its own piece of pain. Remembering all the things I’d done with Caspian. How much I’d loved it when he’d pinned me, exposed me, made me beg and squirm and ache. “I like being restrained.”

“Well, isn’t this my lucky day.”

“And I like feeling…I don’t know how to explain.”

“Well, why don’t you try?” The way she said it, commanding, but somehow playful too, sent a happy shiver down my spine.

“Slutty? And embarrassed kind of? A bit. But not, um,degradedor anything.”

“Anything else you don’t like?”

“Yes, I don’t like…I don’t want…I don’t want to be passive. I mean, I know it doesn’t make sense because I want all this other stuff that means I’m not in control, so probably I don’t know what I’m talking about. But I hate it when…I just. I don’t know. I need to be involved. God, I’m being a weirdo, aren’t I?”

“We’re all weirdos, poppet.”

“What I really love is when I can”—a blush charged out of nowhere and tomatoed me—“serve someone’s desire. Through surrender and suffering and…stuff.”

The corner of George’s mouth curled into one of her unreadable half smiles. “It makes you feel powerful.”

“Yes. Now I’ve said it aloud, it doesn’t seem very submissive.”

“Submission is many things. It can be whatever you want it to be.”

An odd sound made its way out of my mouth, eventually resolving into a shaky giggle. “It’s nice talking about this. In a strange sort of way.”

“Making people articulate their predilections is rather a kink of mine.”

“Are you going to articulate any of your own?”

“I thought I just did.” I gave her what I hoped was a rebuking look. But it was probably more of a pout. And eventually she went on, “I believe sex, like art, has the capacity to strip people to their essential selves. And I enjoy that. Very much.”

“You’re not being very illuminating.”

“On the contrary, I just told you exactly what I intend to do to you. Isredyour safe word of choice?”

“It’s a classic for a reason.”

“Thenredit is.”

I opened my mouth. Then closed it again. Suddenly all I could think about was standing in front of Caspian, telling him I wanted my safe word to beMace Winduwhen really I just wanted him to believe how safe I felt with him.

“Or not?” George asked into the silence.