Page 36
He leans forward. “How can we trust you about that?” He steps back.
“So far, I haven’t seen anything from you that suggests we can trust you except perhaps you haven’t called the Keans on the phone Blaise stupidly gave you.
” He sets his coffee cup in the sink. “But Blaise, on the other hand, he's already arranging safe houses, new identities, whatever you need to live happily ever after without him. "
"Because of the baby?"
He whirls around. “Fucking hell, you’re dense. It’s because he loves you.”
I flinch.
“There was no baby when he risked the Keans’ wrath by throwing their influence around to get your mom a heart.
There was no baby when he did the dumbest thing in history by not leaving through the tunnel and instead went to save you.
Ronan wouldn’t have done any of that for you, but Blaise is the asshole? ”
He looks at me like I’m the lowest form of life on earth. “The sooner you’re gone, the better. Blaise will never be right as long as you’re around.” He stalks out of the kitchen, leaving me stunned, confused, and feeling oh, so guilty.
Is it my wishful thinking or naivety that has me wondering if not everything between me and Blaise was a lie? That somewhere over the course of his revenge plan, Blaise started caring for real, as Ash says? Can I trust that? Can I build a future on such a shaky foundation?
I retreat to the bedroom, my conversation with Ash echoing in my head.
I need to hear Mom's voice, need her wisdom now more than ever. I dial the number.
"Jenna?" Mom's voice sounds weak but alert. "Are you okay, sweetheart?"
"I don't know." Tears spill down my cheeks. "Everything's such a mess. I… it’s my fault the Ifrinns died.” It’s the first time I fully acknowledge my part. No, I didn’t know what Ronan had planned. But Ash is right, my actions helped destroy the Ifrinn family. No wonder Blaise wanted to hurt me.
“What? No.”
“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know…” I let out a sob. “But I showed Ronan the passageway into the house. He set the fire.”
"Oh, honey, you were just a child."
"But people died, Mom. Mr. and Mrs. Ifrinn were good to us after Dad died, and I—" My voice breaks. "I trusted the wrong person."
"Like you trusted Blaise?"
"He lied to me."
"Did he?" Mom's voice grows stronger. "He got me a heart transplant, Jenna. He made sure I had the best care. Those aren't the actions of someone just playing a part."
"He wanted to hurt me. I can see why now, but?—”
"Maybe at first. But people change. Plans change." She pauses. "Feelings change."
Does she know something I don’t? Why is she so easily taking the Ifrinn side? “Have you seen him?”
“No. Phoenix came last night. Oh, my goodness, Jenna. He’s a strong, capable man, like his father. I remember them all being so young. And here they are, fully grown men. Alive and well. I’m happy about that.”
“They planned to kill Ronan?—”
“Who killed their parents and some of the people we knew, if you remember.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Why not put them in jail? Why all this killing and manipulation?”
There’s a long pause. “I thought you’d have figured out by now how the Keans operate…
how the Ifrinns did. They live by a different set of laws.
The Keans haven’t been arrested probably because they pay people in law enforcement to protect them.
The boys’ only recourse is to take back what was stolen.
And if your father were alive, he’d be helping them. ”
Deep down, I knew that. Isn’t that why I didn’t call 9-1-1?
"I'm scared, Mom. I don’t know who to trust."
"I don’t blame you, but isn’t Ronan the one who tried to kill you and Blaise the one who saved you?”
“He had to hate me so much to do this.”
“Yes, he did. But then he met you, learned the truth of you, and you stole his heart. Flint here has been telling me just how much Blaise is torn apart by his actions.”
"I don't know what to do."
My mother’s voice softens. "You don't have to decide anything right now. A lot has happened in the last twenty-four hours. You need to take care of yourself and the baby first.”
“I’m in a safehouse. They won’t let me leave.”
“Don’t leave, Jenna. No matter what you feel about Blaise, let the boys protect you until I can leave.
” My mother’s voice is different from anything I’ve heard before.
She sounds more like the Keans and Ifrinns.
Like she knows their world. I suppose she does.
She just never gave me the details about it.
"I've sheltered you too much," Mom says with a sigh. "After your father died, I was so afraid of losing you too. I kept you close, kept us both working on the estate where it felt safe."
"You were protecting me."
"Maybe too much. You were so young when you lost your father.
Then the fire…" Her voice trails off. "I convinced myself that staying with the Keans was best. That we needed the security. Especially once you got my job, I figured you’d be safe and happy in that bubble. I can see now that I was wrong to keep the truth from you.”
Once again, I feel my world tilting on its axis.
“But you’re a strong, intelligent woman. Plus, you're going to be a mother yourself. It's time for you to make your own choices without worrying about what I think or need."
Panic rips through me. I can’t do this without her. "But your heart?—”
"Is stronger every day, thanks to Blaise." She pauses. "Whatever you decide about him, about your future, I'll support you. Even if that means leaving Boston behind."
Tears blur my vision. All these years, I've based my decisions around her advice, her needs. The thought of choosing for myself, for my baby, feels terrifying. After all, being left to my own devices is what had me making the worst decision to trust Ronan, to trust Blaise.
"I don't know what I want," I admit.
"That's okay too. Take time to figure it out. Just know that I'm here, whatever you decide."
When we hang up, I lie on the bed, wanting to disappear. If it were just me, I might. But I have a baby to think about. My mom’s words echo through my mind. You’re a strong, intelligent woman. It’s time I took control of my life. I just need to figure out what that looks like.
Table of Contents
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- Page 36 (Reading here)
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