Page 33

JENNA

I sit huddled on the couch, my arms wrapped around my knees as I try to make sense of everything crashing down around me. The safehouse feels both too small and too vast at once.

Ash's words cut deep. I made their parents' deaths possible.

A thirteen-year-old girl's stupid crush led to murder.

That truth threatens to crush me. All these years, I thought the Keans were good people who stepped up after tragedy struck.

Instead, they orchestrated that tragedy using my childish infatuation to gain access.

These men are strangers to me, and yet, I knew them once.

I was a child. They were teenagers whom I saw only on occasion as they were always busy with school and other activities.

If I study them, I think I see the young men I knew, but they’re so different now.

Gone are those carefree sons. In their place stand hardened men shaped by loss and revenge.

"I didn't know," I whisper, more to myself than them.

Blaise's head snaps up at my words, his green eyes intense. For a moment, I see a flash of the gentle man who held me. But then his jaw clenches, and I remember how easily he killed tonight. How naturally violence comes to him now.

The nausea rises again as I realize I'm carrying the child of a man I barely know.

I thought I knew his heart, but everything was built on lies.

And yet he came back for me. He killed Ronan to protect me.

He defends me to Ash, who is accusing me of the same thing Blaise earlier accused me of. I don't know what to believe anymore.

Phoenix's phone cuts through the tense silence.

"Yeah, everything's fine here. How's it looking there?" He nods, listening. "Good. Keep us posted."

He turns to me. "Your mother's stable. Flint's keeping watch, making sure no one from the Keans gets near her."

My shoulders sag with relief. At least Mom is safe. But can I really trust Flint to protect her? These men are killers. I've seen that firsthand tonight.

"When can I see her?" I twist my hands in my lap. "How long do I have to stay here?"

"Until we're sure it's safe," Blaise answers before Phoenix can. "The Keans won't let this go easily. Not after tonight."

I close my eyes, wishing this were all a bad dream.

The thought of being separated from Mom while she recovers is unbearable.

I need her. Now more than ever, which I suppose is selfish considering she’s recovering from a heart transplant.

I need to be stronger, to learn to stand on my own. I need to be there for her.

"She needs me," I say. "She just had major surgery. I'm supposed to help with her recovery?—”

"You can't help her if you're dead," Ash cuts in.

“Fucking hell, Ash.” Phoenix shakes his head at him.

“What? Am I wrong? They’ll be looking for her. She’ll lead them right to her mother.”

Blaise walks closer to me but thankfully doesn’t try to sit with me. “He’s right. Ronan knew, just as I did, that you’d be at the cottage. Your next stop would be your mother. When they find Ronan in the cottage, they’ll think?—”

“Everyone thinks I’m a killer?” It makes no sense to me how Blaise and now the Keans blame me for their stupid games.

“You’re stuck in the middle, and I’m sorry for that. But you won't be able to see your mother until she's stronger and we can move her to a safer place.”

The tenderness in his tone makes my heart ache. Even now, after everything, his concern feels genuine. A part of me wants to lean into that comfort, but I can't forget how easily the lies fell from his lips before.

"She'll be scared when she learns what happened.”

"Flint will make sure she knows you're safe." Blaise takes a step toward me, then stops when I stiffen. "I promise, as soon as she's strong enough to travel?—”

"Your promises don't mean much right now." The words come out sharper than I intend, but I can't take them back. Not when they're true.

His face falls, and for a moment I glimpse real pain in his eyes.

It mirrors my own hurt, and that shared understanding only makes this harder.

How can I hate him when he looks at me like that?

When he took a bullet protecting me? When he's trying to keep both me and my mother safe? God, it’s all so confusing.

"Are you hungry?" he asks, changing the subject. "You should eat something."

I turn away. "I just want to be alone.” I glance over at Phoenix, who I’ve been able to determine is the leader. “Is there a place for me to lie down?”

“I’ll show you,” Blaise says.

I’m too tired to insist on someone else showing me, so I let Blaise guide me down a narrow hall to a bedroom.

My skin prickles with awareness as he closes the door behind us. The space feels too intimate, too reminiscent of other private moments we've shared.

"Is it true?" His voice comes out rough. "What you told Ronan about being pregnant?"

My hand instinctively moves to my stomach as I sag down on the bed. I could lie, tell him it was just a desperate plea to save my life. The words hover on my tongue. But I’m not like him. I won’t be cruel, but neither will I spare him the reality of what he’s ruined.

"Yes." I lift my chin, meeting his gaze.

He takes a step toward me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you didn’t want to listen to me. Instead, you told me to get Ronan. Should I have told you when you pulled a gun on him? Or maybe when you were telling me how you’d seduced me to break my heart?"

His eyes close for a moment, and I hope the shame I think I see is as deep as an abyss. “Jenna?—”

"Don't." I hold up my hand. "You don't need to pretend to care now. I can handle this on my own. I've been taking care of myself and my mother for years. One more person won't make a difference."

His face twists with something that looks like pain, but I can't trust that anymore, can't trust any of it. The tenderness in his eyes, the way his hands flex like he wants to reach for me, it’s all suspect now.

"If you never loved me, if it was all just part of your revenge plan, then consider yourself free of any obligation." My voice only shakes a little. "I don't want anything from you."

"You don't get to decide that for both of us." Blaise steps closer, his presence filling the small room. "Not when I've spent weeks fighting my feelings, telling myself they weren't real when they are, Jenna."

I lean away from him, wishing he’d disappear. "Stop. I can't handle more lies."

"I'm done lying." His voice drops low, intense. "I came here wanting revenge. I blamed you for betraying my family to the Keans. But I was wrong."

"How can I believe anything you say?"

"Because fighting my feelings for you nearly destroyed me. Every time you smiled at me, every moment we shared, made it harder to hold onto that hatred."

“You didn’t have that much trouble in the wine cellar tonight.” God, was that tonight? This night seems to be never ending.

He lets out an exasperated sound. “When you defend him… that’s hard for me, Jenna. It made it easier to tell myself you were on his side. I hurt, and it made me want to hurt you.”

“Well, you did. Good job.”

“I don’t want that anymore, Jenna. When Ronan hit you tonight, I lost my mind." His voice roughens. "In that moment, I didn't care about revenge or justice. I just needed to keep you safe. That's when I knew I couldn't deny it anymore."

Tears slip down my cheeks, and I hate that he can see it. I don’t want him to think there will ever be a chance for me to trust him again. "Deny what?"

"That somewhere between plotting revenge and falling into your arms, you became more important than my hatred. I love you, Jenna."

I jump up from the bed, wanting to hit him. Instead, I push him. “Don’t you dare. You said you loved me under the tree, and like a dummy, I believed it. But I won’t believe you anymore.”

His hands fall to his sides. "I know I hurt you?—”

"Hurt me?" A bitter laugh escapes. "You made me fall in love with you. You had sex with me with the sole purpose of humiliating me. Of breaking me.”

He looks stricken, as if he realizes just how heinous his actions have been. "I never meant for any of this to happen."

"That doesn't make it better. You used me to hurt me?—”

"At first, yes." He reaches for me again, but I slap his hand away. "But things changed?—”

"When? When exactly did they change? Was it before or after you took my virginity? Before or after you told me you loved me? Before or after I gave everything I am to you?”

His face twists with guilt.

But before he can say anything more, I cut him off. "I don't want to hear it. I don't want explanations or apologies or declarations of love. I just want you to leave me alone."

“What about the baby?”

"A baby created out of your sick plot for revenge. I'll handle this on my own. I don't need you pretending to care about me or this baby out of some misplaced sense of duty."

"It's not duty?—”

"I want you out of my life." My words hang in the air between us, sharp and final. The hurt that flashes across Blaise's face tries to create doubt, but I force myself to hold firm. I've been naive enough for one lifetime.

"Okay." He retreats away from me. "You'll never have to see me again after tonight. I'll make sure you and your mother are set up somewhere safe, far from Boston."

He pulls a burner phone from his pocket and holds it out. "This is encrypted. You can use it to contact your mother through Flint while she's in the hospital. Once she's strong enough to move, we'll arrange everything."

I take the phone, careful not to let our hands touch. "Thank you."

"I know you don't want to hear this, but I am sorry, Jenna." His shoulders slump. "For everything. You deserved better than being caught in the middle of my revenge."

I turn away, unable to look at him anymore. "Just go."

The door clicks shut behind him, and I sink onto the bed. I want to weep. I want to scream in frustration. Instead, I dial the number to my mom’s hospital room.

“Yeah.” A male answers.

“It’s Jenna Hart. Can I talk to my mom?” My voice has no affect. It’s like I’m completely gone.

"Hold on," he says, and there's rustling before Mom's weak voice comes through.

"Baby girl? Are you okay?"

The sound of her breaks something inside me. "Mom… Everything's fallen apart. The Keans… they're not who we thought. They killed the Ifrinns. And Blaise, he's one of them. An Ifrinn son."

"I know, sweetheart. Flint told me everything." Her breath wheezes slightly. "How are you holding up?"

“He lied to me.” Now the tears are falling, and I can’t stop them. “He was only using me for revenge. He thought I helped kill his parents."

"Oh, Jenna." Mom's voice is soft with sympathy. "I wish I could see you now.” I find it odd that she’s aware of the danger. Is it possible she knew more about the Keans than she let on?

“I wish I could too, but they say it’s too dangerous.”

"As soon as I’m better, we’ll be together. We’ll get through this. Is the baby okay?”

“I think so.” I sniff. "I'm so scared, Mom. I don't know what to do."

"First, you breathe. Then you rest." Her words wrap around me like a hug. "The baby needs you strong. Everything else, we'll handle one day at a time."

I curl up on the bed, clutching the phone like a lifeline. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, baby girl. So much." She pauses, and I hear her labored breathing. "Try to sleep. Things will be better in the morning.”

When I hang up, I feel like I’ve been wrung out. I’ve lost nearly everything in the matter of hours. I don’t see how sleep is going to change that. But since there’s nothing I can do, I give in to the fatigue and the despair and let the darkness take me away.