Page 34

BLAISE

I slump into a chair, my shoulder throbbing where Phoenix patched up the bullet wound. My brothers stare at me, waiting for answers.

But all I can focus on are Jenna’s words, running through my head in an endless loop. I want you out of my life.

"What the hell happened in there?" Phoenix demands.

I know he doesn’t mean in my discussion with Jenna a few moments ago, which went like shit. What an idiot I am. I’d been falling for her the whole time, yet when the moment came, I followed through on my plan and as a result destroyed a sweet woman and the best thing that could ever happen to me.

"I had Ronan right where I wanted him." I run my hand through my hair, frustrated at how it all went sideways. "But Jenna showed up with him."

"The girl screwed everything up again," Ash says. "Just like she did ten years ago."

"She didn't know what she was doing. Either time." The words come out sharp. I’m not in the mood for Ash’s bullshit. "She was just a kid when Ronan manipulated her. And tonight…" I trail off, not wanting to remember the awful things I said.

"It was your idea to go after her," Phoenix reminds me.

"I did break her heart. But it wasn't as satisfying as I thought it would be." I meet their skeptical looks. "Because somewhere along the way, I fell in love with her."

Ash makes a face and shakes his head. "After what she did to our family?"

I wish Flint were here. He’d understand. “She was used. When she realized how Ronan used her, she was devastated.”

Ash opens his mouth, but Phoenix holds his hand up to stop him. “Okay, fine. But we don’t have the manpower yet to be spending it on protecting her and her mother.”

“I just need a little time. When her mother can be moved, I’ll make the arrangements to send them away.” My head sags back on the couch and I scrape my hands over my face. "She's pregnant.” The room goes silent. "And before you ask, yes, it's mine."

"Jesus Christ, Blaise." Ash paces the room. "You were fucking her with the intention of breaking her and got her pregnant?”

God, it sounds awful. It is awful. I’m such a dick.

“What is it about you and Flint? Didn’t Dad give you the talk?” Ash finishes.

I said the same to Flint when he told us about Lucy’s pregnancy. I can see now why he didn’t think it was funny.

“She doesn’t want anything to do with me, so like I said, I’ll get her and her mother set up with enough for the child too and…” And I’ll live the rest of my life regretting having lost Jenna.

“If you were in love with her, why did you follow through with hurting her?” Phoenix asks, finally acting like a concerned brother, not a fearless leader.

"I know I fucked up. But when Ronan hit her, when he was about to kill her…" My fists clench at the memory. "I couldn't let her die."

"I've got a place upstate we can take them," Phoenix offers. "Remote location, private security. They'd be safe there while we deal with this mess."

I shake my head. "Her mother just had heart surgery. She can't be moved yet."

"Then we keep someone at the hospital and rotate security," Phoenix says decisively. "Once she's stable enough, we move them both."

“And just abandon your child?” Ash asks.

The guilt is about to pull me under. "They’ll have what they need. Just not me. I don't deserve either of them.”

"Blaise—” Phoenix starts, but I cut him off.

"What kind of man does what I did? What kind of father could I possibly be when I'm capable of such cruelty?"

"Bullshit." Ash’s voice reverberates off the walls. "The Keans are the monsters here, not you."

"I used her."

"To get justice for our family." Ash leans forward, his eyes blazing. "And the moment you realized she was innocent, you protected her. Hell, you took a bullet for her tonight."

"That doesn't erase what I did."

"No, but it proves you're nothing like them." Ash stands over me. "You have every right to that baby, to happiness with her if you can earn it back. Don't let the Keans take another thing from you."

I narrow my eyes at him. This is a change from the man who is always talking about how love only brings misery.

"She won’t ever forgive me.”

"So, what? You're just going to give up? Hide her away somewhere and pretend that child isn't yours?"

"I'm giving her what she deserves, freedom from the man who broke her trust." I look up at him, willing him to stop pushing this. "She trusted me, Ash, gave herself to me completely. And I used that trust to try to destroy her."

"You fell in love with her. That's not destruction. That's redemption."

"Love doesn't excuse what I did." I press my fingers against my temples. "She deserves someone better."

Ash glances at Phoenix, who shrugs. Good, maybe they’ll finally let this topic go.

"I need someone to watch over her while she’s here. I promised she wouldn’t have to see me again. Can you do it, Ash?”

Ash's face darkens. "I'm not a fucking babysitter, Blaise. You want me to sit around watching your pregnant girlfriend while you do what? Blubber?—”

“Ash,” Phoenix chastises.

"She needs protection.”

"Then hire security." Ash stalks away to find his drink. “Just because I watched Lucy for Flint doesn’t make me the family babysitter. I'm not spending my time playing guardian angel to the woman who helped destroy our family."

“Someone needs to protect her. Plus, she's pregnant.”

"Which is your problem, not mine."

Phoenix steps between us before I can respond. "Ash, it would only be temporary. Until we can move her and her mother somewhere secure." He gives me a pointed look. "A few days at most. We need someone we can trust, and you're the best choice right now."

"The best choice?" Ash scoffs. "Because what?—”

“Because of your effervescent personality,” Phoenix quips. “Just help Blaise out. We need a few days to regroup now that the Keans know at least one Ifrinn is alive and are looking for him and maybe Jenna.”

Phoenix turns to me. "Go to my place, Blaise. Hide out. Get some rest."

The last thing I want to do is leave Jenna, but I promised her.

I push myself up from the chair, grimacing at the pain. "Call me if anything happens. If she needs anything?—”

"We've got it covered." Phoenix steers me toward the door. "Go. Sleep. Process everything that happened tonight."

I pause at the doorway, glancing back toward the room where Jenna's hiding. Part of me wants to go to her, try to explain everything again. But what's the point? She made it clear that she wants nothing to do with me. Forcing her to listen to my groveling and begging will only hurt her more.

The drive to Phoenix's place is a blur. My shoulder screams with every movement, but it's easier to focus on the physical pain than the emotional wreckage I've created. I collapse onto Phoenix's couch, too drained to make it to the bedroom.

My sleep comes in small snippets. It’s almost not worth trying to sleep. I’m not sure how long I’ve been trying when the front door opens and Flint walks in.

I jump up. “Who’s guarding Mrs. Hart?”

“Phoenix. He told me to come check on you.” His gaze scans me from head to toe. "You look like shit.” He drops into the chair across from me.

"Feels worse than it looks." I gesture to my bandaged shoulder, but we both know that's not what he means.

"Phoenix filled me in." Flint leans forward, elbows on his knees. "About Jenna. The baby."

"Come to tell me what an idiot I am?" I can't meet his eyes. "How I screwed everything up?"

"Actually, I came to make sure you're okay." His voice softens. "This can't be easy."

The understanding in his tone breaks something in me. "I don't know what to do, Flint. I went in wanting revenge, convinced she was this manipulative person who helped destroy our family. But she's not. She's kind and genuine, and I've ruined any chance of her ever trusting me again."

"You're not the only one who's done things they regret in pursuit of revenge," Flint says quietly. "Remember how close I came to losing Lucy?"

"That was different. You weren't actively trying to destroy her."

"No, I lied about who I was." He shifts forward. "The question is, what are you going to do now?"

"Protect her. Make sure she and the baby are safe." I press my fingers against my temples. It would take a tanker full of pain medication to stop the tension headache I have. "Even if she never wants to see me again."

"And if she does?" Flint asks. "If there's a chance to make things right?"

"How can there be? I used her, manipulated her feelings." The guilt threatens to drown me. "I don't deserve her forgiveness."

"Maybe that's not your choice to make," Flint says. "Maybe you owe it to her, and your child, to try."

“There’s no coming back from what I did.”

Flint sits back in the chair, studying me for a moment. "You know, when Lucy first found out who I really was, I thought I'd lost her forever. The look in her eyes was like she didn’t know me and everything we had suddenly meant nothing."

The anvil on my chest crushes deeper. It's the same look I saw in Jenna's eyes tonight.

"But Lucy taught me something important," he continues. "Love isn't about being perfect or never making mistakes. It's about what you do after those mistakes. How you choose to move forward."

"This is different," I argue. "You were trying to protect Lucy. I deliberately set out to hurt Jenna."

"And yet the moment she was in real danger, you went after her knowing it would likely get you killed.

You saved her. Took a bullet for her." Flint leans forward.

"You chose her over your revenge. You protected her because you love her.

The same way I chose Lucy over our vendetta.

Sometimes, love sneaks up on us when we least expect it… or want it."

"How did you fix things with Lucy?" I shouldn’t ask this. Developing hope is the last thing I need right now.

“I just bared it all. Put it all on the line. Showed her I was the man she fell in love with.”

I scoff. “She fell in love with a lie.”

“Tell me the truth. How soon in your seduction plan did you feel something other than revenge?”

From the fucking moment I first saw her in the kitchen. “That’s not the point?—”

“It is. Because that’s the moment you were you, that she fell for the real you, and you just need to help her see that.”

“She knows my plan and in her mind, anything I say or do now is suspect. I don’t blame her.” I rise from the couch needing a drink.

Flint's jaw tightens. "Stop making excuses."

"They're not excuses. They're facts." I pour two fingers of whisky from Phoenix’s bar. "Jenna fell for me deeply, so… purely.” Again, guilt spears sharp. It nearly steals my breath. “How can she ever trust me?”

Flint stands, blocking my path back to the couch. "You're not the same man who set out to destroy her. He wouldn't be tearing himself apart with guilt right now."

"Guilt doesn't change what I did."

"No, but what you do next might." He grabs my good shoulder, forcing me to look at him. "You want to prove you're worthy of her trust? Then step up. Be the man she deserves. Show her that your feelings are real, that you'll protect her and your child no matter what it costs you."

"How?" The word comes out broken. "How do I even begin to make up for what I've done?"

"By being completely honest from this moment forward. And by accepting that she might never forgive you but trying anyway because she deserves the truth and your child deserves a father who didn't give up. I’m not saying it will be easy. It may take time, but trust me, Blaise, it will be worth it."

I know there is truth to his words. I need to step up for Jenna and the baby. Not to win her back, but to provide her everything she deserves.

"You're right." I turn back to Flint. "Even if she never forgives me, I have to show her the truth of me.” I swallow hard. "She made me feel whole again, even when I was trying not to feel anything."

He smiles. “I felt the same about Lucy.”

Something settles in my chest, not peace exactly, but purpose. It's time to step into the light, face my mistakes, and prove to Jenna that the man she fell in love with wasn't entirely a lie.

I don’t deserve her forgiveness, but I can’t live without trying. For the first time since everything fell apart tonight, I feel steady. Determined. Whatever it takes, I’m going to fix this.