Page 40 of Honey Bee Library (Sweet Tea and a Southern Gentleman #7)

WILLOW

I secretly knew what this ache inside of my chest meant even if I wasn’t ready to admit it out loud.

“Where’s Cole?” Jasper asked, his words broken up by his yawn.

I reached over and turned on the light in the kitchen. The warm orange light filled the space and made it feel like home.

I hated that.

“He had to go back to Miami,” I said.

I knew it was wrong not to tell him the full truth, but I couldn’t bring myself to admit to him that Cole was gone. That I’d run him out of town because I was too scared to admit my feelings for him. That I wanted to be the one to leave.

I didn’t want to see the disappointed look on my son’s face. He loved Cole, and yet, I’d forced him out.

“Oh,” Jasper said before he yawned again.

“Come on, bubba. Let’s take a bath and get into bed.”

Thankfully, Jasper didn’t fight me. Instead he just nodded and let me usher him into the bathroom, where I turned on the tub faucet so the water could warm up. Fifteen minutes later, he was buried in bubbles up to his neck.

I left him playing while I dumped his dirty clothes in the laundry hamper and gathered his pajamas to take into the bathroom. I sat on the toilet, scrolling on my phone while he played.

Twenty minutes later, Jasper was full raisin, so I unplugged the tub to drain the water while he climbed out and dried off. Once his pajamas were on and his teeth were brushed, I snuggled next to him in bed while I read him a story.

The impromptu trip to Miami mixed with hanging out with Zoey today must have worn him out, because Jasper was out before I even got halfway through the book. His head weighed heavy on my arm as I slowly dog-eared the page and then set the book on the nightstand.

I pulled Jasper closer to me as I snuggled deeper into the blankets, my heart breaking as memories of my time with Cole rose to the surface. I wanted to forget him. I wanted this breakup to be easy. Yet, my heart ached to have him back in my life.

I didn’t want to admit it out loud, but I couldn’t deny the fact that my heart was beating for him. And I feared it always would.

Sleep evaded me, so I eventually pulled the comforter off my body and slowly slid my feet to the floor. Once I was stable, I stood and turned to make sure I hadn’t woken up Jasper, but he was dead to the world. I doubted a zombie apocalypse could wake him.

I closed the bedroom door behind me and made my way into the kitchen and turned on the under-cupboard lights. With the way I was feeling, I needed some wine.

I found a wine glass in one of the upper cabinets. It made a soft tink when I set it down on the granite countertop. There was a half-empty bottle of wine in the fridge—a brand that I didn’t recognize but was sure was expensive—so I pulled it out and collected my glass.

I made my way into the living room, where I collapsed on the couch.

I covered my legs with the nearby throw blanket, and after filling my glass halfway, I settled back with the TV remote in hand.

I found a reality show about a group of women who brought a lot of their issues on themselves, and I sipped my wine while I watched.

For a moment, I forgot about Cole. My body was relaxed, and I wasn’t thinking about the moments I’d shared with that man and the future I was no longer going to have.

My relaxation didn’t last long because, suddenly, I heard the front door unlock and the soft fall of footsteps in the foyer.

My heart pounded in my chest as I set my wine glass down and moved to stand.

My first instinct was to hurry into the kitchen to get a knife, but I was more likely going to give a weapon to the intruder than defend myself with it.

I needed to hide.

I couldn’t make it back to the bedroom to get Jasper, so I did the next best thing I could think of. I dropped behind the couch just as a dark shadow came around the corner. I pressed my body against the soft material, hoping that the intruder would take what they needed and leave.

The sound of footfalls coming into the living room caused my fight-or-flight reflex to kick in. I thought this was a gated community. Who did the security guard let in?

“Willow?”

Cole’s soft and confused voice caused me to yelp. I whipped my gaze up to see him peering down at me. His eyebrows were drawn together, but there was a soft smile on his lips. He tipped his head to the side as he studied me.

“What are you doing?”

I felt like I was going into cardiac arrest as my heart went from, I need to gather my strength to protect my son, to, the man I fell in love with was now back in my life . It was a whiplash that left me feeling dizzy.

Desperate to save face and appear put together, I tried to stand, but all the blood that had been pumping through my veins at a rapid speed was suddenly drained from my body. My head felt light as spots formed in my gaze.

My knees gave out, and I was certain I was going to face-plant on the tiled floor.

“Whoa,” Cole said, his voice feeling far away as it competed against the whooshing sound of blood pulsing through my ears.

I’m not sure how he got to me so fast, but I was wrapped in his arms and my feet left the ground. He pulled me tight to his chest as he peered down at me.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice becoming clearer with each second that passed.

Thankfully, my mind was clear enough to nod. He carried me around the couch and set me back down where I’d been sitting before he walked in.

“Yeah…yeah, I think so,” I said as I pressed down on the couch so I could scoot my body up into a sitting position.

Cole was standing next to the couch, looking down at me. I glanced up to meet his gaze for a moment before I stared down at my hands. Why was he here? Did he forget something? Was he back, back or just passing through? Was he going to kick me and Jasper out?

My mind was racing with questions, but I couldn’t find the words to ask any of them. I think I was scared of what his answers would be.

Cole seemed to be hesitant as well. I could feel the warmth of his gaze on me every few seconds before he pulled it away and glanced around the room. I felt like I was in hell, waiting for him to say something .

“Jasper asleep?”

My gaze snapped to him. I had not expected him to ask that, but I was grateful for it. It was simple, innocuous, and something I could answer.

“Yeah. He passed out about an hour ago,” I said with a nod that felt a tad too eager. I forced myself to slow it down.

“Oh, good.”

“He was asking where you’d gone.” The comment was out before I could stop it.

For some reason, I thought it would come across as lighthearted.

But the weight that hung in the air had me regretting ever saying it.

“I mean...” I tried to redeem myself, but there was nothing I could say that would take the pained expression off Cole’s face.

“I’m sorry,” was all I could manage.

“Willow, I?—”

“How’s your grandma?” I didn’t want to hear his apologies. I didn’t want to hear how it was best for him to live in Miami while I stayed in Harmony. I didn’t want to hear how we were from two different worlds and we were never going to fit.

Those were things I’d already told myself. I was determined to be truthful so that I was prepared for the heartbreak that was certain to follow.

He paused, his gaze drifting over my face. “She’s good. Bethany came to visit.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Oh?” Good, maybe I got through to her.

Cole nodded. “Yeah. Liam said something about you confronting her?”

“Oh.” Crap. I hoped that Cole wasn’t angry. I was just…fed up with parents whose children were their last priority. “I’m sorry for that.”

Cole’s expression stilled, and I wasn’t sure how to read it. Was he angry? Upset? Trying to tell me to mind my own business?

“Thank you.”

Not the reaction I’d expected. “For what?”

“For standing up for me. I appreciate it.” His smile was back and sending butterflies racing around my stomach. “You said things that I would have been too chicken to say.”

I chuckled. “I doubt that.” I met his gaze once more and held it. I wanted him to know that I believed what I was about to say. “You were just caught off guard. Given time, I’m sure you would’ve said something.”

What he didn’t know was there was a sort of healing that happened when I said the things I did. I wasn’t rude, I was pointed. I said the things that I’d been wanting to say to Harold for a long time.

He studied me, and for a moment—a brief, minuscule moment—his gaze slipped down to my lips. “Willow, what are we doing?” His voice was deep and full of want, and it sent shivers across my skin.

I had a suspicion as to what he meant, but I didn’t want to assume. I didn’t want to break down if what I thought he was saying wasn’t actually what he meant.

“What do you mean?” I finally asked. I felt as if I were melting under his stare.

“Why did you pull away?” He slowly lowered himself down until he was keeling in front of me. His gaze was level with mine, and the pain in it was so palpable that it took my breath away. “I love you.”

His declaration caught me off guard. I stared at him, wondering if I’d just conjured those words. “What?” I whispered, tears brimming my eyes and blurring his face.

“I love you so much. I came back because I needed you to hear me say those words. I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel for you. You are the air that I breathe. The sun on my face. You are the person I want to see when I wake up in the morning and kiss when I go to bed at night.”

I wanted to speak. I wanted to say something, but all of my emotions had lodged themselves in my throat, making it impossible for me to get any words out. Instead, a tear slipped down my cheek as a shy smile emerged.

He reached out and caught the tear with the tips of his fingers. “Please, let me love you. You’ve spent your life caring for others. It’s time you let someone take care of you.”

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. There was no need for words. I was going to show this man just how much I loved him.

His hands found my waist and I was yanked to his body, his lips crashing over mine. Everything we wanted to say, we said in that kiss.

My lips were swollen and throbbing when I pulled back. “I love you, too,” I whispered as I glanced up at him through my lashes.

“Really?” he asked, the smile that emerged made my heart swell. “Then why did you want me to leave?”

I pulled back slightly. “I was scared. I didn’t want you to realize how different we were. I didn’t want you to wake up one day and regret the choices you made. I come with baggage. I’m a single mom. Being with me would mean giving up the life you have.”

He stared at me like I was an alien with two heads.

“Do you think a life alone is better than a life you with and Jasper? That kid is my best friend.” His voice broke.

“The only regret I would ever have is not locking you down and making you my wife.” He grabbed my hand and lifted it so he could kiss my knuckles. “You two are all I need.”

“But, I’m not…” I couldn’t bring myself to say what I needed him to hear. I’d seen the women at his club. They were tall, tight, and elegant. I was none of those things.

“You’re not, what?” He leaned in, catching my gaze as if he wasn’t going to let me go until I shared the worries that were plaguing my mind.

“I’m not skinny. I’ve had a baby,” I whispered.

Cole studied me for a moment as he brought his hands to my thighs.

His palms were warm on my skin as he increased the pressure at his fingertips.

“Damn you woman. Do you not know how much you’ve haunted me since the night I saw you in the hot tub?

” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the hollow of my neck.

“You’re perfect. You’re exactly what I desire.

” He pressed kisses from my neck to the soft skin behind ear.

“I want to show you how much I desire you,” he said as he nibbled on my ear lobe.

My entire body warmed at his words. Was that true? Did he want me like I wanted him? I pulled back so I could look into his eyes. I needed to see for myself that he wasn’t lying.

He held my gaze, open and unabashed. He didn’t pull back. He didn’t look away. He stayed.

All of my fear, all of my doubt, began to melt away. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He responded but didn’t push me further. Instead, he allowed me to pull back once more.

“I will prove my love to you every day if you let me. You will never doubt the feelings I have for you.”

I cradled his face between my hands and then slowly dragged my thumb across his bottom lip. Heat flashed in his gaze, but he didn’t move. Instead, he waited for me to open the door and let him in.

And so I leapt. I took off the parachute I’d used as a lifeline to keep me safe and allowed myself to fall.

For the first time, I knew someone was going to be there to catch me. Someone was going to be there to protect me. Love me.

And that someone was Cole Watkins.