Page 5

FIVE

CIPHER

As I lay in bed with my arm aching, slightly drunk and staring up at the immobile ceiling fan above me–which, despite there being no electricity, appeared to move slightly in a hazy sort of way, suggesting that I may have been drunker than I thought–I tried, as always, to plan three steps ahead.

The arrival of Kitten’s brother had really ruined my already subpar day. I should be glad the dude was alive and well. Kitten was certainly happy to see him, and I wanted my boyfriend to be happy–sure, I did. So why did it feel like such a disruption to our relative peace and tranquility?

Part of it, I could admit only to myself, was that I was used to being the center of Kitten’s universe, and with his brother around, I might have to share in that attention. There was also the fact that Santiago was a shitty older brother, what with the abandoning Kitten last summer and leaving him to deal with their Rabid mother. Enter me, the ruthless killer. Yeah, I was still bitter about that.

Point was, I didn’t want Santiago coming in here and disappointing Kitten again, but that was largely out of my control. He either would or he wouldn’t. I couldn’t keep Kitten from his brother. That would be extremely controlling and uncool.

“Hey, tough guy.” Kitten entered the room, a cautious smile on his face.

“Hey, cutie. How’s things?”

“Eh.” He shrugged, looking unhappy.

I patted the bed beside me for him to sit down. “What’s that face for?” I asked, and he looked as if he didn’t want to tell me what was going on. “Kitten?” I prompted, using what he called my “dad” voice.

“Artemis said we’d have to vote on whether or not my brother can stay.”

I took a deep breath. So, Santiago wanted to join our happy home…permanently? What about his friends? We didn’t have enough supplies for an additional four people, not to mention any one of them could be malicious. Even in the best case scenario, they’d still be a pain in my ass.

I’d have to thank Artemis for taking the hit. I didn’t want to always be the bearer of bad news.

“I know it was probably hard for you to hear that, but that is how we do things,” I gently reminded him. We’d voted whether or not Kitten would join us. I’d voted against it because I was a short-sighted fool. And an asshole, hence the origin of our name. Wylie we’d adopted in a hurry during our flight from Promised Land, a unanimous decision, though never official. From the first time we’d met him, Wylie had vibed with us, not to mention his incredible skills as a machinist and engineer. But these four newcomers? Not so much.

“It’s the will of the group, I know,” Kitten said. “I guess I just thought family members would be automatic. Anyway, I brought you some broth.”

He handed me the cup, still warm, and I propped myself up against the headboard to sip at it. I needed to sober up. I needed a clear head for what was to come. Kitten grabbed an extra pillow and propped it behind me, then dragged the chair from under the desk and placed it next to the bed. Adopting his best bedside manner, he asked, “Did you take your meds like I told you?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And no more drinking for the day?”

“Nope. I’m saving the other bottle for Macon,” I said dutifully.

“Good, let’s take a look at this arm.” He grabbed a stack of textbooks and set them next to me, then gently laid my arm on top of them. I watched passively as he unknotted the sling and then carefully cut away at the strips of t-shirt he’d tied around the piece of metal flashing to act as a splint. The throbbing had never completely gone away and it came back now with a vengeance.

“Ahhh,” I said.

“Hurts?” Kitten asked.

“Yeah.”

“The swelling has gone down a little. That’s good.” His nimble fingers traced over my bruised arm as he prodded in different places, asking me where there was pain. I was tender wherever he touched, but some places were worse off than others. Finally satisfied with the exam, he said, “I’m going to see if I can set it now. This is going to hurt, maybe a lot. I could give you pain meds…”

“No, just do it.” I turned my head, silently going through all of my weapons inventory, thinking I’d need to find a new hunting knife since mine was presently embedded in the eye socket of a Rabid. I’d had that knife with me for a long time. I really hated losing my weapons.

My gaze shifted to a framed family portrait of Kitten, his brother, and their parents. Kitten looked about five or six years old in the photo, missing a front tooth and smiling wide. Santiago, a little older and more guarded, stared at the camera with a tight-lipped grimace. I didn’t know the man, didn’t trust him either, but whatever my feelings about Santiago, he was still Kitten’s brother. If I was somehow miraculously reunited with my sister, there’d be no way in hell I’d let her go.

A sharp, stabbing pain shot through my arm as Kitten began to work the bone into place. I ground my teeth so as not to distract him with any unseemly yelps of pain. Sweat broke out on my forehead and I reminded myself to breathe through it. The pressure on the bone was intensely uncomfortable as he guided it into position. There was a shift and the pain eased up, though the throbbing remained. Hopefully that would go away soon enough, and the bone would mend quickly. I needed both my arms for battle.

“There, I think I’ve got it,” Kitten said. “Keep your arm still while I go get some ice from Gizmo and Wylie. We should try and reduce the swelling a little more before I cast it, okay?”

“You got it, doc.”

“You did a good job,” he said and dabbed at my sweaty forehead with a cloth.

“Thanks, babe. You as well.”

He smiled sweetly, then took off down the hall, his footsteps echoing down the stairwell in a cadence I recognized. A few moments later I heard another set, heavier and slower in their approach.

“Hey.” Santiago stood in my doorway, looking older and more jaded than when I’d last seen him on the Emory campus. There he’d been fed and cared for like a house pet, and despite the isolation of the lab, he’d had a healthy glow about him. Now, his shaggy beard didn’t hide the gauntness of his face, and his eyes had a sunken look about them. Haunted. I suspected their trek from Atlanta to here had not been an easy one.

“Mind if I come in?” he said.

“Go ahead.” I nodded to the chair Kitten had just occupied.

Santiago planted himself down, leaning back to survey our room, taking in all of his brother’s memorabilia, largely untouched, as well as the hutch I’d repurposed to store my cache of weapons.

“How was the trip here?” I asked him.

“Not good. We lost one of our own–Dimitri–to Rabids.”

“Sorry to hear it,” I said and I was.

“Yeah, it was bad. They ambushed us in the daytime while we were packing up camp. We couldn’t save him, and we didn’t want to leave him behind.” His gaze met mine and I understood exactly why he looked so tormented.

“You did the right thing,” I said.

“Maybe.”

“We were attacked in the daytime too, yesterday at the CVS. They walked right inside and tried to fuck us both to hell. They’re evolving.”

“Seems that way,” he agreed.

We lapsed into silence. Neither of us were up for small talk.

“So, you and my brother are still a thing?” he said at last, arms crossed with a suspicious look on his face.

“Yeah.”

“I kinda always figured he was gay. We had a friend named Lucas. I think Joshua had a crush on him.”

“Hmm,” I said, wondering if he’d come in here to discuss his brother’s sexuality.

“So, are you, like, the leader around here?”

“For now.”

“You’re banged up pretty good.” He nodded to my janky arm.

“Hazards of the job,” I said.

He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, building up to something. “Well, my friends and I, we want to stay,” he said at last.

“I figured that’s why you came here.”

“I didn’t expect to find this place so…” He trailed off and made a motion with his hand.

“Fortified?” I suggested.

“Yeah. You’ve done an incredible job. And you’ve got weapons.” He glanced again at my personal stash, and that need to protect what was mine rose again within me. I’d never felt like I had to lock up my shit before, but I certainly would moving forward.

“We do have weapons,” I said, still eyeing him, trying to decipher his true intent.

“I just wanted you to know, we’ll pull our own weight. All of us are hard workers.”

The fact that most of them survived the trek here spoke to their survival skills and ability to work as a team, but I didn’t want to give him any false hope. “It’s not up to me alone, Santiago. It’s the will of the group. That’s how we do things around here.”

“But you have a lot of sway.”

“I’m only one vote,” I reminded him.

“Joshua wants us to stay.”

“Joshua wants you to stay,” I corrected.

“Well, I’m not abandoning my friends. We’re a unit, just like you guys.”

I appreciated him not selling out his friends, but it also came across as pretty self-serving, to come in here and try to persuade me to his side.

“Did you want to know anything about how your brother’s been since you last saw him?” I asked. “Or why we left Promised Land?” Not that I’d tell him. It was up to Kitten whether he wanted to share that story.

“Of course I want to know how my brother’s been. But he looks good. Seems well-fed. Must have grown five inches.”

“He has been good,” I said.

“Do you want me to thank you or something?” he asked.

“No, I just want you to give a shit.”

His expression turned stormy, and his hands balled into fists on his lap. It reminded me of Kitten when he got angry. Must run in the family. “Well, I do give a shit. Obviously. He’s my brother. Things haven’t been easy for me either.”

I nodded, suspecting any conversation between us would eventually circle back to him and his needs.

“So, that’s it then?” I asked, feeling suddenly tired, of this interaction in particular. “You want me to convince my family to let you stay?”

Santiago stared at me with a calculating look, seeming to judge whether or not to say what was really on his mind. At last, he continued, “What do you think Joshua would do if you kicked us out? Do you think he’d stay here with you? Is your hold over him really that strong?”

The nerve of this guy, to use Kitten as a tool for negotiation while suggesting I was somehow manipulating him into being with me. “So, you’re blackmailing me now? Let you all stay or you’re leaving and taking Kitten with you?”

“I’m just making sure you’ve really thought this through.”

“If you wanted what’s best for your brother, you’d encourage him to stay here,” I said.

Santiago shrugged and held up both hands. “All I’m saying is, I wouldn’t want to be in your position. Boss. ” He stood, clearly finished with what he’d come here to say. “I do appreciate you taking care of my brother. He needed someone like you.”

“He still needs someone like me.”

“Maybe not as much anymore. Not now that I’m here. Anyway, rest up. You’ve got a lot to think about.”

Santiago left, and I was certain of one thing: I fucking hated that guy.

He reminded me too much of myself.

I dozed until the late afternoon. Kitten removed my prosthetic leg for me and rubbed out my thigh, which had started to cramp due to all the activity of the past couple days. He refreshed my ice pack for me while I napped, then casted my arm, taking great care not to jostle me too much. When it was finished and to his liking, I asked him to sign my cast, which he did, adding a little heart for the dot in the “i” of his name. So fucking cute.

“Stay with me until we have to go down,” I told him, and he climbed into bed beside me and laid his head across my stomach. I played with his hair, letting the soft curls pass through my fingers like silk, while he updated me on what had happened in our absence–one of the ducks had laid an egg, Artemis had snared two rabbits, LMP rolled in something rotten and Teresa had to give her a bath… I listened to his idle chatter. I’d never get tired of this. I’d never allow anyone–not even his brother–to take him from me.

Feeling a bit more refreshed and a lot more sober, we went downstairs for our daily meal. Our first order of business was to report back on what we’d discovered while scavenging. After Kitten and I gave our account of what we’d seen of the military base and what we’d encountered at the CVS, I highlighted the biggest takeaway from that experience.

“They’re evolving. They’re faster, more agile, younger in age, and they can hunt in daylight.”

The expressions of the other Assholes were grim as they digested that news.

“This means we have to be careful whenever we’re outside the compound,” I continued. “Pair up at a minimum with someone acting as scout, carry your radios, always inform the watchtower as to your whereabouts. Everyone carries their weapons outside the gate. Treat this as a high alert.”

“This is going to make hunting and fishing much harder,” Artemis said.

“Should we do a cull?” Macon asked. We’d floated the idea when we arrived here. The Rabids in the area were pretty easy targets outside our gates. We could shoot them down in the nighttime from the watchtower and then decapitate and burn them the next day.

“I don’t know if that would hurt us or help us. Rabids are territorial. They hunt in packs. If we kill off the current residents of Shady Brook Acres, who's to say the pack that moves in wouldn’t be worse?” I said. At least our Rabids seemed to prefer night time for hunting and moved relatively slowly. Of course, things might change.

“For now, we’ll increase our security.” I pulled out the security camera I’d taken from the CVS and placed it on the table, then looked at our resident engineers. “Think you two can work on a CCTV system so we can monitor outside the fence?”

“Yeah, we’ll make this a priority,” Wylie said while Gizmo inspected the device.

“I’d like to hook up as many cameras as we can. We can scavenge the neighborhood for more. It’ll make it easier to monitor the Rabids. We gotta determine their weaknesses and exploit them,” I said.

“Which brings us to our other order of business,” Artemis said, “the newcomers.”

“My brother and his friends,” Kitten said, giving her a withering side-eye. I was glad, for once, to not be on the receiving end of that look.

“We could use more bodies for watchtower shifts and hunting parties,” Macon said, “especially with these new protocols in place.”

“That’s four more mouths to feed, and we don’t have enough supplies to get us through winter as it is,” Artemis countered.

“Winter’s a long way off, and we’ll have time to scavenge before then,” Macon answered. It was interesting watching the two of them argue, the heated looks they gave each other made it seem like they might actually be enjoying it.

“I don’t like strangers,” Teresa said while compulsively petting the cat on her lap. LMP’s one good eye blinked lazily. She wasn’t supposed to be at the dinner table, but it was one of those rules we let slide.

“I was a stranger,” Kitten said to her. “And you wanted me to stay.”

“I mainly wanted Little Miss Purrfect to stay. And you too, I guess. I wouldn’t mind if the girl stayed,” Teresa conceded.

“We can’t split them up,” I said to the group. “Santiago told me already, it’s all of them or none of them.”

“When did he say that?” Kitten asked.

“When you were getting me ice.”

“What else did he say?”

I looked at him, electing not to answer right then. Kitten frowned, clearly not liking that he was excluded from the conversation, but what would I tell him? Your brother’s a bully, and I would have done the exact same thing for my family.

“We do have a lot of jobs to fill,” Wylie said, redirecting the conversation. “Many hands make light work.”

“We don’t know if they’re trustworthy,” Gizmo said. “We haven’t had to institute any sort of penal system yet. I don’t think we’re prepared for that.”

Gizmo was right. What if one of them did something truly heinous? We didn’t have any sort of holding cell or containment apparatus. Who would act as a jury? I certainly wasn’t prepared to dole out punishments, not to mention anything I did to Santiago would earn me blowback from Kitten.

The discussion continued while I mostly stayed silent and observed. Soon enough the camps became apparent. Macon, Wylie, and Kitten were in favor of them staying; Artemis, Teresa and Gizmo thought we were better off without them, leaving me as the tie-breaker.

Fuck my life.

“Looks like it’s up to you, boss,” Macon said, raising his eyebrows and giving me a look that said he didn’t envy me one bit. My instinct was to stick to my rule: no outsiders, no exceptions , but we could use some more help around the compound. Supplies were scarce, but we weren’t starving, not yet at least. If they truly pulled their weight and didn’t cause trouble, it could be a benefit to us all.

And I wouldn’t have to risk losing Kitten.

“What if we put them on a probation period until we feel we can trust them?” I glanced over at Artemis, my unofficial number two. “Would you be willing to get behind that?”

“What are the terms?” she asked.

“Whatever we want them to be.”

The seven of us then brainstormed what a probation period might look like for the beta group. Kitten took notes. Having decided on a plan, we invited the four newcomers to gather around the table. The Assholes nominated me to be the one to lay it out for them, which probably meant I’d also have to be the one to enforce it.

“We’re willing to let you stay,” I said to Santiago and the others. “With a few conditions.”

“Okay, what are they?” he asked. He stood with his arms crossed and legs planted wide, acting as if this were a negotiation. It was not.

“First, you all stay in one of the other four houses. This one is only for us.”

“What about all my stuff?” Santiago asked.

“You can pack it up and take it with you.”

He frowned at that but nodded for me to continue. “What else?”

“You pull your own weight with chores. All of us chip in. Gardening, food prep, hunting, and watchtower shifts. None of it is beneath any of us, and we don’t do gender roles around here. If any of you starts slacking off without good reason, you’re out.”

Ansel nodded along. The other two, Rafi and Selena, remained quiet. Santiago spoke to them in Spanish. Hopefully he was relaying what had been said accurately. I hadn’t realized they couldn’t speak English. We’d need to remedy that right away, since I didn’t want Santiago to be their only source of information.

“You understand them?” I asked Kitten.

“A little. Spanish is close to Portuguese, but Santi’s much better at it than me.”

When Santiago had finished, I started up again. “Speaking of rules. We honor consent here. You disobey that rule and you’re going to get your ass bounced right outside the gate.” I glared at Ansel. “Got it?”

“One hundred percent, boss,” Ansel said, sounding as if he meant it.

“Last condition. You’re all on probation until we decide otherwise as a group. That means if you start any shit with any of us, you’re out.”

“Till when?” Santiago asked.

“Till I say so and I don’t care what leverage you try to use with me, I’m not going to allow any of you to endanger my family,” I told him.

“We’re not planning on it, although Joshua is my family too,” he fired right back.

I swallowed my bitter retort and merely continued with my instructions. Growth. “Whatever standing rules we have here, it’s the same for you four. You won’t have voting rights until your probationary period is over. Majority rules in all things. And don’t try bringing in any more strays. No outsiders, no exceptions. You all got it?” I stared at each of them, letting it sink in while Santiago translated for Rafi and Selena.

“We really appreciate you letting us stay,” Ansel piped up. “It’s been hell living on the road. We’ll do whatever it takes to make sure we’re welcome here.”

“Glad to hear it.”

Selena turned to me and said carefully, enunciating each word, “We thank you very much.”

“We work very hard,” Rafi echoed.

I nodded, appreciating their effort at communicating. We’d need to find a way to bridge the language barrier. I’d hate to throw one of them out for breaking a rule they didn’t even know about. Kitten was smiling wide, no doubt making plans for our new arrivals.

“Why don’t you help the betas get settled into one of the other houses?” I suggested to Kitten, then glanced toward Macon.

“I’ll help,” Macon said, immediately picking up what I was putting down. I didn’t want Kitten left alone with any of these people, not even his brother, until I knew for certain they could be trusted.

Kitten, still smiling brightly, spoke slowly to Rafi and Selena while motioning for them to follow him. Once everyone else departed to do their chores, it was just Artemis and myself left to gather up the dirty dishes. I did my best to help with only one arm, but Artemis wouldn’t let me.

“Take a night off, boss,” she said, taking the plates from my arm. “You can keep me company though.”

“All right.”

“So, Santiago got to you?” she asked.

“Yeah, but I would have voted that way regardless. We need more people to defend ourselves in case Rabids attack. And they’re better than complete strangers.”

“You don’t seem to like Santiago very much. Or Ansel.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Yes.”

“Besides the not-so-subtle blackmailing, I don’t like the way Santiago’s treated Kitten, as an afterthought.”

“I agree. And Ansel?”

“You mean the guy who tried to get my boyfriend to blow him?”

“The same,” she said with a smirk.

I shrugged. “As long as he keeps his hands to himself, we’ll get along fine, though he’s probably going to be a pain in my ass too.”

Artemis chuckled. “Maybe this will be a good thing for us.”

“How do you figure?”

“It’s been just the six of us, now seven, for a while, but eventually we’ll need to expand if we want to start families and diversify our skills.”

“We’re not building another Promised Land here,” I told her.

“No, definitely not. We’re building something better. You’ve done a good job, Cipher. You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished.”

“What we’ve accomplished,” I corrected her.

“But it was your vision,” she said, and I recalled the long trip back from Promised Land when we’d mapped out what our lives might look like here in South Carolina, the spirited debate we’d had while I determined how best to keep us safe.

I was tempted to argue that it was all of us contributing to that vision, but instead I simply nodded and accepted her praise. My most recent run-in with Rabids was still weighing heavily on my mind. I’d always known that I could be taken out at any moment–any one of us could–but yesterday had really brought that fear to the forefront. “Listen, Artemis, if something ever happens to me–”

“You don’t need to finish that sentence. I already know. I’ll take care of them, all of them, and Kitten especially.”

Artemis had my back. She’d had it since the fire in DC. I was suddenly overwhelmed with gratitude for her steadfast friendship and loyalty. It got me choked up with a sentimentality that was both strange and unwelcome. “Artemis, I think you might be my best friend.”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Yeah, no shit, Cipher. You’re my best friend too, even if you are a dumbass.”