Page 18

EIGHTEEN

KITTEN

Cipher was reuniting with the rest of the Assholes and reacclimating to our life in Assburbia. We hadn’t told the others yet about our plans to enlist–we’d decided to wait until the daily meeting. The decision to leave them was still weighing heavily on my mind.

The first thing Cipher did, shortly after our arrival, was to take a tour of the compound’s perimeter and inspect the fence. Macon, good sport that he was, accompanied him on his inspection and marked wherever repairs needed to be made with a can of spray paint. Then the two of them set to replacing the rotted or loose boards and reinforcing any weak spots with spare wooden pallets, fencing, and sheet metal.

Meanwhile, I checked on the garden and made sure the goats were getting used to their new pasture, a fenced-in area where our chickens roamed freely during the day and the grass for grazing was plentiful. One of the nannies needed milking. I’d never milked a goat before–never milked anything before, unless you counted Cipher’s cock, ha ha. It was a messy task, to say the least. Dolly Parton was eager for relief but wouldn’t stand still. Instead, she kept stamping her hooves and lowering her head like she was about to butt me. It didn’t help that she was separated from her herd of three. The other two were happily grazing in the field, while she was stressed and angry. Might she be missing her kid too? And then I felt like a real jerk because I hadn’t considered that we might be separating a mama from her baby.

“I’m sorry, Dolly Parton, but we really need this milk for our family. We’ll treat you real good here, like a queen, and the next time you have a baby, you can stay with them as long as you like.”

She stilled and I tentatively reached for her udder. Just when I thought I had the hang of it, eking out tiny bits of milk a little at a time, Dolly reared up and kicked over the bucket, spilling all that I’d collected. The bucket was now dirty and smeared with chicken shit. I’d have to wash it and start all over again.

“You stay there,” I told Dolly, even though her collar was already attached by rope to a wooden post. She lowered her ears and dropped her head as if preparing to charge. I was definitely not her favorite person.

“Joshua?”

I glanced up to find my brother in the doorway of the wooden lean-to, his face in shadow. My anger at him had ebbed considerably, especially since Cipher had recovered, but one wrong word from him might set me off again.

“Hey.” I used the hose’s spray nozzle to clean out the bucket, along with a little bit of bleach to sanitize it. The noise from the hose made it impossible for me to hear him, but I couldn’t hold him off forever. This conversation was long overdue

“Got a minute?” he asked.

“I’m kind of in the middle of something.”

“I can help.”

“You know how to milk a goat?”

“Yeah, don’t you remember that 4-H program Mom enrolled me in that one summer? We had to milk the cows on their farm. I imagine it’s probably similar with goats.”

“All right.” I gestured to my squat wooden stool, wanting him to prove himself. I picked some long grass to feed Dolly, hoping to mend fences between us.

“There’s a good girl,” Santi said, petting along the ridge of her back. She bleated at him somewhat aggressively but didn’t kick or buck. “You’ll feel much better once this is over, I promise.” He approached her from the front, rather than the side as I had, trapping her neck under his arm while reaching for her udder with both hands. He manipulated the teats between his fingers until fresh milk began dribbling, then squirting out. Dolly bleated aggressively once more before settling under my brother’s confident hold. He found a rhythm, and I watched his technique for tomorrow morning when she’d need to be milked again.

“There, I think she’s about done,” Santiago said at last, pulling the bucket from underneath her and setting it aside. There was a half-gallon at least, enough to make a good amount of butter, maybe even some cheese. I felt as rich as a king, grateful to Cipher for negotiating the trade on our behalf. I suppose my brother did have some skills.

“Thanks,” I said to Santi while untying Dolly and leading her out of the shed so that she could rejoin the others.

“You’re welcome. Think we could talk now?”

“Yeah, all right.” I pulled up a wooden step ladder and sat down on it.

“I missed you,” Santi said. “I’m glad you’re back,”

“For a little while. I enlisted in the United Forces. We both did.”

“Wow, Joshua. You and Cipher both? What made you decide to do that?”

I didn’t want to get into what happened in Promised Land, so I told him the other reason, “I want to study medicine.”

“That’s great. You’ll be really good at that, already are. And Cipher? What’s he want to do?”

“He doesn’t know yet.”

“He didn’t want you to go it alone,” Santiago said, and it wasn’t a question.

I sat up a little straighter. “We’re a team,” I told him while wondering what he thought about that.

“You’re a good team,” he said at last. “Listen, I know you’re probably still mad at me for what happened to him. I think about it every day, what I could have done differently to keep him from being bitten.”

“You could have not left him behind,” I said.

He nodded, lowering his head. “Like I left you behind?”

I rubbed my lips together and stared out at the yard where the goats had their snouts buried deep in the fresh green grass. “You left me and Mom behind.”

“I know. And I regret that too. I was a coward.”

“And I had to watch her slowly get worse, not knowing what to do, being left alone to make that decision. If Cipher and the others hadn’t come…” I didn’t need to guess at what would have happened. My mother would have turned Rabid and I likely would have gone the same way. It’s not like I would have ever been able to kill her myself. “You had to have known what would happen,” I said, eying him coldly.

“I was in survival mode, Joshua, my own survival. All I knew is that I couldn’t stay here.”

“And you didn’t want me to slow you down,” I said. We’d talked about this in Atlanta. I thought I was over it. Apparently not. But Cipher had never treated me like a burden. Well, maybe in the beginning, but he came around quickly.

“I always intended to come back,” Santi said.

“Come back to what?” I took a deep breath, exhaled, and tried to let go of the pain and hurt I’d been harboring toward him since last summer. “You expect me to be the same, to follow you blindly, forgive you without question, but I’m not the same little kid you left behind.”

“I know. You’ve grown a lot since then. We’ve both been through some shit.”

“Yeah, we have,” I agreed, shutting down the part of my mind that always went there.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No, not yet. Maybe not ever.”

He nodded and laid a hand on my shoulder. “I respect that. I’d like to try again with you, if you’ll let me. I haven’t been a good big brother, but I’d like to try to be better.”

Of course I’d give him another chance, a million chances to be honest. Because the same man who had abandoned me last summer had also taught me how to fight, how to ride a bike, how to stand up for myself against bullies, how to tie a fishing hook and cast a line, and so many other skills. I wasn’t going to throw him away because a piece of him was broken, though I did hope he’d work on himself. Besides, I’d made a ton of mistakes myself.

“You can try again,” I said quietly.

He stood and pulled me into a hug. I tried to hold back the tears because there was part of me that still didn’t want him to think I was a baby.

“I’d like to try too,” I said, “to let it all go and start fresh.”

“You’ll always be my brother, and I’m so grateful you’re still here,” he said in a voice thick with emotion. “And I’m really proud of all that you and the others have been able to accomplish. Maybe part of me is jealous of how successful you’ve been.”

“I haven’t done it alone,” I said.

“I know, but you’re the heart of this group. They all look to you for advice and moral guidance. You’re more of a leader than you know.”

I nodded, appreciating how they’d let me take the lead on what to do with Cipher when he was sick. “I’m glad you’re here. Family should be together. The base is only a few miles away. We’ll come back to visit and you can come visit us as well.”

“I will. I’ll make you both care packages with all your favorite foods.”

I smiled at that. “And you have to write me letters. About our friends and the animals and what’s growing in the garden and any new recipes you try.”

“I’m afraid we haven’t been as diligent about weeding since you left,” Santi said with a frown.

“That’s okay. We can start again today.”

I found Cipher much later in the kitchen, wielding a can of WD40 and opening all of the cabinets and drawers, spraying down any squeaky hinges. Then he went over to the sink to test the water pressure, turning the faucet on and off while studying it intently.

“How’s she looking, boss?” I asked as I came up behind him and placed a soft kiss on his neck.

“Satisfactory. The front gate was rusty though. I told Wylie he needs to maintain it. If you don’t make it someone’s job, it never gets done.”

“Dinner’s ready, you know. We’re all waiting for you.”

He washed his hands in the sink and joined us at the table, which had been lengthened with an additional piece of mis-matched wood in the center so that it could accommodate the Assholes as well as the B-holes. My brother was sitting in Cipher’s former seat, but he stood and offered it to him.

“How have things been around here?” Cipher asked as we tore into our thick bean and vegetable stew with a side of grilled grit cakes. “A lot of what you all said when we first got here went in one ear and out the other. I was a little overwhelmed.”

“It’s been good, boss,” Artemis said. “No raiders or Rabid attacks. There was a pack of daylight Rabids, likely the ones who attacked you, but we took care of them. The others only come out at night.”

Cipher said, “What do you mean by ‘took care of them?’”

“We killed them,” Macon said soberly. “Too risky to have them prowling around. We’d be under constant threat when going out of the compound.”

“So, it wasn’t revenge?” Cipher asked, looking conflicted.

Artemis and Macon exchanged a look. “It was practical,” she said. “Do you disagree with that decision?”

“No, our safety comes first, always,” Cipher said.

She nodded, seeming satisfied. “Also, we’ve voted the B-holes into our squad. They’re full-fledged Assholes now.”

Cipher nodded, looking relieved. “That’s good because we’ve got some news ourselves. Kitten and I have enlisted.” Cipher glanced over at me and smiled as if he were truly looking forward to it.

“In the United Forces?” Macon asked, jaw dropping.

“That’s the one.”

“But you hate the military,” Gizmo said. “Like, utterly despise.”

“Yeah, well, they did me a solid. And Kitten looks good in green.”

“To be fair, I look good in all colors,” I reminded them, but only Cipher smiled at my joke. The others still looked shocked, except Santi who had a faint, perhaps even proud, smile on his face.

“Cipher,” Artemis said, and they did that thing where they communicated silently with each other. I used to think they were whispering without moving their lips, but now I knew it was just their way.

“I know that it may come as a surprise, but Captain Crenshaw isn’t the worst. She gave us back the Humvee, wiped our records clean, and gave us the goats to get our dairy operation going. And she said I’d be getting a gun.”

“That’s important,” Macon said with a nod.

“But we won’t be around here as much, and we can only stay for a week this time. So, we need to vote on a new leader. Officially,” Cipher said.

“Artemis,” my brother said immediately, shocking us both.

“Second,” Macon agreed.

“Third,” Teresa followed, and pretty soon it was clear that the vote was unanimous.

“Congrats, boss,” Cipher said to her, and she only smiled modestly. “I’d like to request that Kitten and I remain honorary Assholes, though I understand we will no longer have voting rights.”

“Will you come back when your time’s up?” Artemis asked.

Cipher shot me a questioning look. “Kitten may have to go to medical school or be stationed at a lab at another base.”

“We’ll come back to visit as often as we can,” I assured them.

“Well then, once an Asshole, always an Asshole,” she said and raised her glass.

“I can’t believe the two of you are going to be soldiers,” Macon marveled.

“Kitten’s going to be a fucking doctor,” Cipher said and cupped his hand around the back of my neck. I ducked my head and grinned. Just the fact he believed I could… maybe that meant he was right.

“Of course you are,” Teresa said. “You’re already so good at sewing.”

“What are you going to do, Cipher?” Artemis asked.

“I don’t know yet. Something badass I’m sure.”

“Clearly, that is where you excel,” she said with a wry grin.

“You’ll have to take care of Little Miss Purrfect while I’m gone,” I said to Teresa.

“She’s already mine,” Teresa said and hugged my cat possessively to her chest. Little Miss purred lazily and gave a big yawn, showing off her tiny fangs. Yeah, she’d be fine.

“But while we’re here, we’re going to make sure this compound is in tip-top shape,” Cipher said. He then pulled out the notepad he kept in his back pocket and went through a list of what he called “code violations,” reading them off one-by-one while everyone groaned good naturedly. “I haven’t even gotten to the outbuildings yet,” he warned.

“Maybe we could save it for tomorrow?” I suggested because we were all excited to go out back for the “bonfire and booze” party Macon had planned for us where we’d get to try his homemade moonshine for the first time. “Tonight we’re having a party.”

“What are we celebrating?” he asked, looking adorably suspicious.

“You,” I said simply. “We’re celebrating you.”

Our week with our family was wonderful and way too short. On Sunday morning as we were packing up our things and preparing to say goodbye, Cipher asked, “You sure you want to do this?”

I rolled up my Zac Efron poster to take with us—Cipher’s request—and thought about just last night when he was moving inside of me, telling me to be a good boy and wait for him, holding my wrists above my head with one hand so I couldn’t disobey him. How I’d come hands-free for the first time and Cipher had taken it as a personal achievement. You’re going to have to do it that way every time now, he’d told me with a fiendish grin. Despite it being our last day with our family, I’d been smiling since I woke up. Some things would change when we became soldiers, but not the important stuff, not us.

“Yeah, I’m sure. How about you?” I asked.

“I’m with you, babe, forever and always.”

“Think our family will be okay?”

Cipher tilted his head. His project yesterday had been to write out our entire security protocol on a second whiteboard and quiz the other Assholes until they knew it by heart. “If anything happens to them, we’ll be close by and can help,” Cipher said.

I nodded, feeling better that we were only an hour or so drive away. “Santi’s coming with us to see us off.”

“That’s good. He’s a dick sometimes but he loves you. Kind of like me.” He waited for me to reply. “This is where you tell me I’m not actually that much of a dick,” he prompted.

“I promised not to lie to you,” I teased.

He pulled me into a tight hug. Chest-to-chest, he wrapped both arms around me and lifted me right off my feet. “You’re the biggest brat I know,” he said and smothered my face with wet sloppy kisses.

“But you love me.”

“Yeah, I do. Hey, last night was…” His cheeks darkened slightly, his version of a blush.

“Yeah,” I agreed warmly. Every night we’d been back had been a good one. We’d made up for lost time while relearning each other’s bodies. Hopefully, we’d figure out a way to have alone time while on base. I happened to know of a few spots where we could sneak away.

“When you squeezed me like that, I’d swear my soul left my body,” he said, sounding giddy.

“I’m glad you liked it. I’ve been practicing.”

“And when you came, it was like a fucking Renaissance painting. I wish I had a camera so I could take a picture of it.”

“Maybe one day we can take a video,” I said, loving the way I could still shock him into silence.

“Finding a video camera will be my first priority. You know I still plan on doing that for you one day,” he said, then glanced away, turning shy.

“You don’t have to,” I reminded him, knowing exactly what he meant.

“I want to do that,” he said firmly.

“When you’re ready.”

Cipher pulled me into his arms and kissed me gently, pouring everything he felt for me into it, so much emotion and so many promises in that one kiss.

We spent the rest of the morning stocking up on our favorite snacks and saying goodbye to the other Assholes. Little Miss Purrfect was in my lap the whole time, begging for pets. It’d be hard to leave her behind, but this was her home, and I knew that Teresa would take good care of her while we were gone.

Each of our friends offered us a little present or special food item to take with us. Gizmo gave us geo-tracking tags that he said would allow them to find us in case of emergency, and Teresa and Selena had woven friendship bracelets for all of us to match. Macon slipped us each a bottle of his moonshine, though I was pretty sure the military would confiscate it. And for me, they’d replaced all of the dwindling supplies in my medical kit so they were like brand new, including a new set of surgical needles.

“Don’t you need this here?” I asked regarding my kit.

“We have another one,” Artemis said. “You’re going to need that, I’m sure.”

The military probably had plenty of medical kits, but there was nothing like having your own tools, similar to having your own kitchen knives. Artemis then gave Cipher a hunting knife to replace the one he’d lost.

“Fits like a glove,” Cipher said in appreciation and tucked it into the sheath strapped to his thigh. We were leaving the guns behind, but keeping our personal defense weapons with us. We couldn’t be too careful.

“If you find another cat, bring them back here,” Teresa told me. “Little Miss Purrfect needs a sister.”

“I’ll be on the lookout,” I told her, handing my precious fur baby over to her very capable arms.

“Don’t forget to visit,” Artemis said. “And no more Rabid bites.”

“I’m on it, boss,” Cipher said.

We loaded our stuff into the Humvee. I sat in front with my brother. Macon was in the back with Cipher. The four of us waved goodbye to the Assholes as we passed through the gate, ready to begin our newest adventure.

But an hour or so later when we arrived at the entrance to the StarChem base, I knew immediately that something was wrong.

Very, very wrong.

“Cipher, the gate.” I pointed to the main gate, usually guarded by two soldiers, now standing wide open. It looked as if it had been forced apart, the reinforced steel dented and scarred from what must have been a desperate struggle. To get in or out? Even more concerning, there were no soldiers in sight.

“They never leave their gate open,” I said.

“The sirens,” Cipher said, and though I couldn’t hear them, I could see the red lights flashing in the distance. “There’s no one in the sentry towers either.” Cipher handed me the binoculars to have a look.

“Oh fuck, look over there.” Macon pointed to a distant field where a group of soldiers were hunched over a body on the ground. I adjusted my binoculars to find their faces smeared with blood and gore. They weren’t merely kneeling around the body, they were tearing it apart with their teeth.

“They’re Rabid,” I said with a sinking feeling in my stomach.

“Get a little closer,” Cipher said to my brother, “but not too close.”

We approached the gate slowly, passing through it to take in the scene before us. The base, usually so orderly and bustling with human activity, appeared now as a desolate wasteland. Several of the perimeter fences were torn and bent with tattered clothing stuck to the razor wire and flapping in the breeze. Escapees? Meanwhile Rabids roamed freely, feeding on dead corpses–I hoped they were dead. Other Rabids staggered around aimlessly, as if drunk, their military uniforms bloodied and torn. In the center of it all was the flagpole, the American flag still whipping in the wind, strangely resolute in the midst of chaos.

“How did they get in here?” Cipher wondered aloud.

“Maybe it was a soldier who turned Rabid first,” Macon suggested. “They’re all wearing uniforms.”

Cipher reached for the CB radio mounted on the dash. His hand was shaking. The adrenaline must have hit him already. “Captain Crenshaw, this is Cipher, stationed at the western entrance of StarChem. Report.”

There was static on the line followed by the crackle of feedback and a voice I recognized, but it wasn’t Captain Crenshaw.

“Cipher, this is Dr. Godara. We’re currently on lockdown in the lab.”

Thank God the lab was safe. Hopefully the medical workers were as well. I scanned the packs of Rabids again and didn’t see any of them wearing scrubs or lab coats.

“What the hell happened?” Cipher asked.

“We don’t know exactly, but we believe it began in the barracks during the night. We heard gunshots, what sounded like bombs exploding. The power went out for a little while. By the time we got our backup generator running and our video surveillance online, it was pandemonium on the base. They’d gone into a feeding frenzy.”

“How many are Rabid?” Cipher asked.

“Hard to say, but according to our surveillance, all of the military personnel not stationed inside the lab at the time of the attack are either infected, dead, or missing in action.”

It felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me. I gasped at the enormity of it all.

“What about reinforcements?” Cipher asked, keeping a cool head despite the chaos and destruction surrounding us.

“There’s no way to communicate with them at present, not from inside the lab, and our supply convoy isn’t set to arrive for another six weeks.”

Just then a Rabid threw itself at the Humvee’s windshield, rolling its head maniacally and gnashing its teeth. I recognized him. Private First Class James Bennett from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. A week ago he’d been complaining about the food not having enough kick and offering me some of his personal stash, a small bottle of hot sauce and some Old Bay seasoning.

“How long can you survive in the bunker?” Cipher asked while keeping an eye on the Rabid.

“Until the backup generators run out of gas. Then all of our systems start shutting down, and we won’t be able to keep them out. Or our high-risk patients in.”

They were surrounded by Rabids, inside and out. The only thing preventing them from an attack were the locks on the door.

“How long is that?” Cipher asked.

“Thirty-six hours, give or take.”

“Fuck,” Cipher muttered to the three of us. He surveyed the landscape. Despite Cipher’s feelings toward the military, he wouldn’t abandon them, not when there were people who needed saving.

“Doc, standby, we’re going to need to recruit reinforcements. We’ll try and contain the Rabid situation above ground and let you know when it’s safe to come out,” Cipher said.

“Thank you, Cipher. I wish you the best of luck. I’ll be monitoring the radio. Don’t hesitate to call me for anything you need.”

“Will do.” Cipher returned the radio to its mount and turned to the three of us. “Are you all in for this mission?”

“Yes, boss,” I said soberly. Macon nodded and so did my brother.

“Let’s head back to Assburbia, get our weapons and the rest of the crew, then come back here and clean house.”

Santi shifted into reverse in a smooth three-point turn, sending the Rabid still clawing at the windshield sliding sideways off the hood.

“Don’t run him over,” I said to my brother. “That’s James. He’s a nice guy.”

Santi navigated away from the Rabid, who leapt up and ran behind us, trying to launch himself at the back of the Humvee. Thankfully, the armored vehicle protected us and eventually he gave up pursuit and started shuffling back toward the base. Rabids had an affinity for the places where they’d been turned. If we were successful in securing the base, Dr. Godara might be able to save James too. Unless…

“We’re not going to kill them, are we?” I asked.

Cipher reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. “We’ll try not to, but we can’t save them all, Kitten. This is going to be tough, maybe the hardest thing you’ve ever done.”

“Do you have a plan?” I asked, praying that he did.

“Yeah, I have a plan. Not to be dramatic or anything, but it looks like it’s up to us to save humanity.”

From the back of the Humvee, Macon hooted and hollared back, “Fuck yeah it is.”

Santi shook his head, looking doubtful. I was trying not to toss my cookies, dreading what lie ahead. Despite us being greatly outnumbered, with Cipher at the helm, I had hope.

Humanity couldn’t ask for a better hero.