Page 16

SIXTEEN

KITTEN

“You like cats,” I said to Cipher. We were two weeks into his recovery, and we had this game we played at mealtimes in the mess hall to help bring back his memories. Sort of like True or False.

He gave me a suspicious look. “Do I like cats or do I simply tolerate them because you like cats?”

I smiled, caught again. “Probably the second,” I admitted, “though you do let Little Miss Purrfect sleep on your ankles every night.”

“LMP is an exceptional mouser. A fierce and mighty huntress. And you’re not going to change my mind through the power of suggestion,” he said with a devastating smile.

I shrugged. “Worth a try.”

“Your favorite color,” he began, dipping his spoon in his custard before putting it to his mouth. I watched the silverware make its journey and was wildly jealous of the destination. We hadn’t done anything more than hug since Cipher contracted the virus. He was still worried about infecting me through his saliva, even though Dr. Godara said he was no longer contagious. Regardless, we were taking it slow. I’d wait for him forever.

“What?” I said, so focused on his mouth that I’d forgotten the topic entirely.

“Your favorite color.” He licked his lips, very distracting. “It’s not blue, though you’ve said before that it was. It’s…” He pointed at me with his spoon, a look of triumph on his face. “It’s pink, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” I said, a little embarrassed, even now, to admit it.

“Why are you so shy about it?” he asked.

“It’s not very manly.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s a color. Colors are meant for everyone to enjoy. Besides, who cares what other people think?”

I sighed, falling in love with him all over again. Cipher didn’t judge me for my love for “girly” things or my need to let my emotions out. He’d always encouraged me to express myself without trying to change me. “I’ve always liked that about you. You do your own thing, even if other people think you’re weird,” I said.

“Do people think I’m weird?” he asked, completely demolishing that custard.

“You definitely think outside the box. You’re a leader.”

“A leader?” he said, sitting up a little straighter.

“Yes, King Asshole. Does that ring any bells?”

He laughed and nodded. “Actually, it does.”

“Artemis is your number two,” I told him again. “You rely on her because she’s brave and strong like you. Teresa is your baby girl. You spoil her with candy and treats even though good dental hygiene is also very important to you. Macon is like a brother to us both, and Gizmo and Wylie, they’re our sounding board. The voices of reason.”

“Yes,” Cipher nodded. “Wylie and Gizmo’s workshop is a safe space.”

“That’s right. Safety is important to you,” I said.

“Safety is everything,” he said emphatically as if I needed convincing. He glanced around and lowered his voice. “Here’s a question. Do I like the military?”

“No,” I told him honestly. “There was a fire in DC, where you're from.”

“At the Admiral,” he said soberly.

“Yes, and the military, they didn’t do anything to stop it. In fact, I think you believe they were the ones responsible.”

He took a moment to digest that, nodding slowly. “Their uniforms make me nervous,” he said.

I took a deep breath because I’d been holding back the news from him for some time now, but I couldn’t put it off much longer. I’d sworn to never lie to him and even delaying it felt like I was being dishonest. “There’s something I need to tell you,” I said.

His expression turned suddenly serious as he focused his dark gaze on me. “What is it?”

“Remember what happened with Jeremiah and Brother Larry?” I asked. He’d brought up the topic of Promised Land and why we left and I’d helped him fill in the gaps in his memory. We were out by the garden and he’d hugged me so fiercely while I told him what went down. His anger felt fresh, perhaps because for him it was.

“Yes, I remember,” he said cautiously.

“Well, when we showed up here in Jeremiah’s Humvee, Captain Crenshaw had questions. And I ended up telling her what happened.”

“The truth?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“And that wasn’t the story we agreed on,” he said with a hint of uncertainty.

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Are you in trouble?” He reached for my hand.

“No, not exactly. They’re not going to send me to a labor camp or execute me, thank God, but I agreed to do something that you’re not going to like.”

His eyes narrowed in suspicion, a look that I knew all too well. “What did you do, Kitten?” he asked sternly, bringing back fond memories of House Dad.

“I enlisted with the United Forces.” I winced, waiting for his reaction. His eyes widened and his breath caught. He opened his mouth, then shut it again as if he didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry that it comes as such a shock. I know you hate surprises,” I said.

“Did they force you into it? To help me?” he asked.

“Captain Crenshaw said it might look better to the disciplinary board, to prove my commitment to law and order.”

“That’s bullshit. She coerced you,” he said, temper flaring.

“It’s fair, Cipher. I deserve worse punishment. When I signed those papers, it felt like a weight had been lifted. I can do something to give back.”

“You give back every day. You don’t owe them shit,” he said with venom.

“I murdered a man,” I said, trying to keep my voice down. “And they saved your life. We do owe them something. I’m sorry I broke my promise to you.”

“What promise?” he asked.

“To never leave you.”

He sighed, exhaling slowly while studying my hand. He flipped it over and drew his elegant fingers along my palm, tickling a little. “You’re right, I’m not happy about this, but I have a solution.”

“I’m not going to back out,” I said. I’d signed the papers already and given Crenshaw my word.

“Then I’ll enlist too,” he said as if he were deciding between the peach or apple cobbler.

“No,” I said immediately.

“Yes. You’re mine, and I’m sticking with you. It’s not awful here.” He glanced around. “Management seems to know what’s up. Security could use some upgrades, but the food’s not too bad. And if we end up hating it, we’ll just say ‘fuck it’ and peace out.”

I didn’t want to take advantage while he was still relearning himself. I didn’t want him to be mad at me later or feel as if I’d tricked him. “Cipher, this goes against everything you stand for, everything you believe in. You hate following orders. It’s the reason we left Promised Land. And you might have to do things you don’t agree with.”

“All of that sounds terrible, but I wouldn’t hate it if I was with you.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

“I’m not ditching you, Kitten.”

“You wouldn’t be ditching me. I could visit you in Assburbia whenever they give me leave.”

“Not good enough.”

“Cipher–”

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll take a few days to think about it,” he said.

My shoulders dropped, a concession at least. “It would make me feel better,” I said. He held onto my hand. There was a heaviness in my heart, guilt that my actions, however right they were for me, might negatively affect him. I didn’t want him to enlist just to be with me, though I didn’t want for us to be apart either. “I should have waited to talk with you about it,” I said.

“I can understand why you didn’t.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Probably because you felt compelled to do it, and you didn’t want me to try and talk you out of it.”

I squeezed his hand. He knew me so well. “Are you mad at me?”

He tapped his knuckle against my cheek, something he’d always done as a way to reassure me. “No, sweetness. Bringing me here saved my life, and now I get to spend more time with you. Whether it’s Assburbia or StarChem Laboratories or a fucking fox hole in the middle of Rabid Country, we’ll make it work.”

I smiled at his optimism. “Are you sure you want to sign over five years of your life to a government you’ve always despised and distrusted?”

He shrugged, so cavalier about it all. “Godara told me to start thinking about my future. I don’t see myself in a corporate setting. Maybe this is the right move.”

I laughed at how ridiculous he was, but I did think he’d be good at soldiering. He had the skills already—tracking, shooting, surviving. “They’ll probably give you a gun,” I reasoned.

“Bonus, but I’d rather have my lucky charm.”

He meant me. I was his lucky charm, but I didn’t want him doing this out of some misplaced sense of obligation. “You know you don’t owe me anything,” I said.

“Agree to disagree.” He brought my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles one at a time, such a sweet, tender gesture. “I love you, Kitten. You’re my manly, pink-loving soldier boy. Can’t wait to see you in those United Forces fatigues. And then take them off of you.”

I smiled, a hot flush rising in my chest and warming my cheeks. He made it sound pretty appealing. He was irresistible to me, always had been, always would be.

“You’re ridiculous. And I love you too, obviously .”

The first time it happened we were in the toolshed because Cipher wanted to help me till another plot for planting. The day was warm, our clothes already sticking to us. I was digging around in a shadowy corner of the shed, appreciating the cool dark shade, when Cipher came up behind me and reached around to grab the pitchfork I’d been looking for.

“This what you wanted?” he asked, his warm breath ghosting along my neck.

“Yeah.” I turned around slowly and caught his eye, the blown-out look of desire I recognized, the straight line of his mouth that told me he was trying to hold it in. “Thank you,” I said, not moving away from him, wanting to see what he might do next.

“No problem.” He backed away, put both his hands behind his back and dropped his head. I laid the pitchfork against the wooden clapboard wall.

“Gloves?” I asked and offered him a pair.

“Sure.” We both put them on, staring at each other the whole time. It seemed both of us were waiting to see who might make the next move.

“All set?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he responded, still with that look in his eyes. I turned toward the door. “Kitten,” he said.

“Yes?”

Suddenly his arms were around me, one hand cradling my head while the other snaked around my back. He wouldn’t kiss me on the mouth–still afraid to do it–but he kissed my neck, along my jaw, the sensitive underside of it, sucking slightly. I hoped he’d leave a mark.

“This okay?” he asked, whispering into my good ear.

“More than okay.”

“I’m not Rabid,” he said as if trying to convince us both.

“I know.”

“But I do want to touch you. Can I?”

“You can do whatever you want.”

His hands were on my chest, gently squeezing my pecs while I dragged my fingers up along the muscles on his back, hooking my hands on his shoulder. “Can I suck you?” I asked, my mouth watering at the mere thought of it.

“No, not until I clear it with Godara,” he said. I was disappointed but I understood his caution. “Touch me instead.” He thrust his hips forward. I ripped off my gloves and tossed them to the ground. I’d never unbuttoned a pair of pants faster in my life. I shoved his trousers down to his thighs and admired his thick cock, jutting out at me. Hello, old friend. In a matter of seconds I had both our dicks out, my palm slick with spit, rubbing us together. Slowly but with intent.

“Fuck,” Cipher uttered, sounding so far gone already. He leaned into me with his casted forearm resting against the wall. I wanted to make his pretty eyelids flutter and his eyes roll back into his head. See his stoic mouth curve in pleasure and the veins in his neck strain when he finally allowed himself to let go. “That feels good, baby. Keep going.” He rocked his hips forward to thrust upward into my hand.

“You like it slow,” I told him. “You like to make it last.”

“Yeah,” he said. His thighs pressed against mine where he’d backed me up against the wall. “I like to make you wait.”

“I finish too quickly,” I said, but on the bright side, I also had a fast recovery time.

“No, you’re perfect. Fuck, let me try. Spit on my hand.” I did as ordered and he took over, stroking us both with his long, dextrous fingers. It always felt ten times better when he did it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned in, using the leverage to grind against him, our hip bones knocking against each other as pulses of heat licked up my spine. The pressure was building, my balls tightening a little more with every tug. I wanted to explode, my cock so sensitive that every pass of his rough calluses over my skin made me whimper with pleasure. I was already there but trying so hard to hold back.

“So good,” I murmured, leaning into him, giving myself over to him completely.

“You gonna come, baby?” he coaxed while pumping me with expert precision, knowing exactly what I wanted.

“Yeah,” I murmured with my head against his shoulder as I tried to remember to breathe.

“Do it then,” he commanded and the grit in his voice really worked for me. My cock pulsed once, twice, and then I erupted, cum shooting up and over his fist, glazing his knuckles. There was a lot of it. It had been awhile.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous when you come. Now turn around,” he said.

I did as he commanded, bracing myself against the wall with the heels of my hands. Cipher yanked down my pants so that they gathered at my knees. I spread my legs wider to make room. “This okay?” he asked with his hot, hard length pressing up against me.

“More than okay,” I said.

He spat again, then pushed his slick cock between my upper thighs, simulating penetration, reminding me of our first morning together in Promised Land. I flexed my legs, tightening the channel for him to get off. “God, you feel so good.” His good arm wrapped around my chest, holding me in place. “So fucking sweet, so sexy baby. I’ve been dreaming about this for so long. Want to fuck you so bad.” His nose was on my neck, then it was his mouth, sucking a bruise onto the soft skin there. “You smell like heaven.”

He stroked between my thighs, nudging at my balls from the back. I angled my hips to give him more depth, wishing we were doing it for real. Soon. I loved every pant and shudder, every word of praise he whispered to me. A few more thrusts and he suddenly pulled back, aiming his cum at the ground while pumping himself for the last few strokes. I turned slowly with my pants still down around my knees and watched him slowly recover.

“Damn, I needed that,” he said.

“Me too.”

“Stay there while I clean up.” I waited patiently while he untied his handkerchief from around his neck and used it to wipe off his hand before tucking the cloth inside his pocket. Then he pulled up my pants, tucked my soft cock back inside my underwear, and buttoned me up. “I really want to kiss you,” he said with longing.

I craved the closeness, the natural conclusion to our intimacy, but I wasn’t going to force it–we were on his timeline–so I simply watched and waited.

“I’ll talk to Godara about it,” he said at last, tearing his eyes away from my mouth.

Before he could walk away, I pulled him into a tight hug. “I love you,” I said and he gripped me back tightly.

“I love you too. Sorry for jumping you there. I just couldn’t take it any longer.”

“I’ve wanted it too. I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Have you?”

“Well, yeah. I wanted you to make the first move. I didn’t want to take advantage.”

He cracked a wide smile. “Please, take advantage.”

“Okay, maybe I will.”

We retrieved our gloves and tools. A few minutes later, while tilling up the roots from last season’s planting, Cipher turned to me and asked, “Is it usually like that?”

“Like what?” I said because I didn’t want to make any assumptions.

“Spontaneous. Easy. Hot.”

I grinned. “Yeah it is.”

“We do that a lot? Get each other off?”

“Almost every day. Sometimes multiple times.”

His eyebrows raised. “Do you…” He trailed off, looking embarrassed. “Am I usually the one who…”

“You like to top,” I said, and he nodded, looking relieved.

“Have I ever bottomed?” he asked.

“Not yet,” I said with a wink and finally got a blush out of him.

We continued with our work, but every once in a while I’d glance over and catch him looking at me, and a huge smile would light up his face, then he’d shake his head and we’d go back to tilling, the metal tines breaking up the packed soil and unearthing new potential.