Page 4 of Holiday Wishes and Tentacle Dreams

Phil had left the cat behind.

Collapsing down to the ground, ignoring the pain as his knees hit the hardwood floor, Jake held out his arms. The sweet kitty ran to him. They’d only adopted her a few months ago, and despite being the one that insisted they get a cat, she’d never taken to Phil. Jake had been her person from the get-go.

As he cuddled Miranda Priestly in his arms, the last of the anger drained out of Jake. He didn’t like what remained. How had his life gotten to this point? After his time in the hospital, he’d built everything back so painstakingly. Now it was all gone.

Jake took a deep breath and buried his face in Miranda Priestly’s soft fur. At moments like this, it helped to figure out what to hold on to. His sweet kitten was here with him. They were together.

He forced himself to his feet. What else was left? Carrying the cat with him, he swung open the closet door to find his clothes piled up on the floor.

Phil had taken the damned hangers.

For someone who’d claimed to love him, the man was ruthless. Jake sighed and shut the door, making his way back to the entryway. It was a city apartment, and closet space was at apremium. There was only one other in the whole place, by the front door.

Jake opened the door to the closet, and the knot in his chest loosened the tiniest bit. Phil had left the Christmas decorations.

Not that surprising. Phil had never understood Jake’s obsession with Christmas. Phil’s childhood had been typical. His family was upper-middle class. He’d always had a big tree and lots of presents. Phil had rolled his eyes when he talked about it, like he found it cringeworthy that his mom was so invested in it.

Jake’s mother was already gone by the time he was old enough to remember the holidays. It had been just him and his grandmother, and she’d worked herself to the bone to make them perfect. Every present was thoughtful and special. Every decoration was handmade.

Jake loved Christmas. He wasn’t religious, but he looked forward to the holiday season each year. As he surveyed the boxes and bags of decorations piled into the tiny closet, a wave of sadness hit him. The glitter of gold and silver normally made his heart sing, but taking in his collection, he saw it for what it was. Cheap paint on fragile plastic. The sparkle was a lie.

He wouldn’t have a boyfriend for Christmas. He wouldn’t get to do all the winter couples activities he loved so much. No skating in Central Park. No huddling together in the cold as they peered into the windows at Macy’s. No caroling and mulled cider and cuddling under the blankets on Christmas morning.

Shit, he didn’t even have anywhere to go on Thanksgiving, and that was in three days. They’d decided not to travel this year to save money. They were going to do a little roast chicken and some stuffing by themselves in the apartment.

Who called someone in for a job interview the week of Thanksgiving? Not a company that was seriously hiring. He’d never had a chance. He was destined to be alone and jobless for the holidays.

Of course, Phil had probably bought himself a ticket home to be with his family, who he didn’t even like spending time with, while Jake would be stuck alone in New York without even a saucepan to make chicken soup in. At least the microwave was built into the cabinets, so he could make some instant ramen. If it hadn’t been, Phil probably would have taken that, too.

Miranda Priestly batted at Jake’s chest as if to say both “don’t be an idiot” and “you’re not paying enough attention to me.” She let out a little squeak and jumped out of his arms, landing among the bags and boxes. She sniffed around for a moment, then clawed at one brown paper bag with twine handles. Jake bent down and opened it up to see what was inside.

It was an old stuffed Santa from when he was a kid. The thing had seen better days. It was secondhand when his grandmother bought it, and the felt was bald in several places. Jake didn’t care. He loved the white beard and the big sack of toys. When you pressed on the belly, Santa sang a Christmas carol.

Jake couldn’t resist. He pushed in at the waist. At first, it made a racket like a cornered possum, loud and off-pitch and…hissy? But after a few seconds, something in the ancient mechanism clicked, and Santa started his song.

It didn’t soundgood, that was for sure. Jake wondered if this would be the last year for his beloved Santa. Even so, it did its job. It kept going. No matter how ragged and off-key it was, it still spread the Christmas cheer he loved so much.

Tears welled up in Jake’s eyes. He wasn’t sure that he was capable of that much. To keep going, even when he was broken inside. His internal mechanisms hadn’t worked properly in a long time.

But there was hope in Santa’s creaky song. Jake couldn’t find it in himself. But it lived there in the old toy’s music.

Jake picked Santa up and gingerly placed him on the kitchen counter. Then a strange thought hit him, wrapped indesperation and nostalgia. His body moving almost without his control, Jake rifled through his backpack for a piece of paper and a pen.

Miranda Priestly meowed at him, scratching on the low cupboard where they stashed her food.

“Are you serious? Did Phil not feed you before he left?”

Miranda Priestly let out another adorable squeak and rubbed up against Jake’s leg. He shook his head.

“Just a minute, sweet kitty. I’ll get you your food, I promise.”

But first, he had a letter to write. A letter to Santa.

A wave of self-consciousness washed through Jake. This was so ridiculous, so silly. Why write a letter to a fictional being for wishes said fictional being couldn’t possibly grant? It felt childish.

Itwaschildish, but that was part of what drew him to the idea. The last time he’d felt truly safe was as a child, his grandmother feeding him hot chocolate as he scribbled out his Christmas list. She’d always make sure he got something amazing from Santa, even when they were living paycheck to paycheck.

So what if it was silly? He was doing it anyway. Phil was gone, but Santa wasn’t, and old Saint Nick would never let Jake down.