Page 1 of Holiday Wishes and Tentacle Dreams

Chapter One

JAKE

Jake wasn’t getting the job.

No. That didn’t have to be true. He took a deep breath and brushed aside the negative thought as he walked through the glass revolving doors of the towering high-rise. As he threaded his way through the lobby, dodging harried people in suits and sweater sets, the words of his boyfriend Phil echoed in his head.

“Picture yourself getting the offer. Imagine yourself succeeding. Manifest the job.”

Despite his annoyance at the aggressive, self-helpy pep talk, Jake had spent the entire train ride into Manhattan doing just that. In his fantasy, the hiring manager was a woman in a fashionable red pencil skirt and a severe bob. She smiled wide and offered her hand.

“Pleasure to have you on board.”

In his vision, her voice was even and her handshake was firm, but she’d had a kindness in her eyes. He’d conjured up the salary amount, imagining her offering enough money to live comfortably in New York City. Finally, after years of struggling and six months of total unemployment. A real paycheck.

Phil would stop giving him those judgy looks and remember what it was like when they first dated. Sweet. Fun. Hot as hell.

Unfortunately, when he reached the office his interview was in, his imaginary woman in the red pencil skirt was nowhere to be found. Instead, he was greeted by an arrogant-looking man in his forties wearing a navy fleece vest. His khakis were the most unpleasant shade of beige Jake had ever seen, and a college-branded mug sat on his desk, insignia turned carefully to face the door. The guy stuck out a single pasty hand.

“Chuck Ferguson.” He said his own name as if it was an honor for Jake’s ears to receive the component sounds. Chuck looked him up and down, a slight grimace appearing on his face. “Take a seat.”

As Jake sank down onto the cold wooden chair, Chuck opened up a manila folder, taking a cursory glance at Jake’s resume before rolling his eyes.

Picture yourself succeeding.

Jake held on to the dimming spark of his hope with every ounce of his being. He wasmorethan qualified. He’d served as executive assistant to several high-powered finance executives, and they’d adored him. Keeping a dozen balls in the air without breaking a sweat was his specialty.

“If you’d like to contact my references, each of them would vouch for my ability to?—”

Chuck waved Jake off.

“References don’t mean a damn thing. We both know that. Interviewing someone for a job isn’t about blowing smoke up their ass. It’s about being a detective.”

Chuck’s bony finger stopped at a single spot on Jake’s resume.

“You have a year and a half gap in employment. Four years ago.” Every muscle in Jake’s body tightened at the accusatory words. “Where were you? Rehab?”

Of course, he would zero in on the one thing Jake had prayed he wouldn’t notice. Honestly, it would have been better if ithadbeen rehab. This guy had definitely done his share of party drugs on oversized yachts. He’d be fine with rehab.

No. It was much, much worse, at least by the standards of an aging finance bro. Phil and he had strategized about what to do if this happened. He was supposed to say he had a sick mother. Jake had put his life on hold to nurse his mom through her illness. A simple, harmless lie.

What came out of his mouth was defiantlynotthat.

“Mental hospital.”

The man’s eyes widened at Jake’s words. “What?”

“I had a breakdown and joined a full-time outpatient program.”

For a long, awkward moment, Chuck Ferguson said nothing, his jaw hanging open. Jake was a little proud he’d broken through the asshole’s arrogant facade.

The thing was, Jake hated lying. Beyond that, he wasbadat it. Whenever he did, he turned bright red, and sweat poured from his forehead. Plus, he was terrible at keeping his facts straight.

Besides, this guy had written Jake off before they even started talking. Jake didn’t know if it was his chubbiness or his effeminate mannerisms, but there wasn’t a chance in hell this New Jersey cul-de-sac dweller was going to give him a job. So why not come clean?

Unfortunately, Chuck recovered the next instant, and when he continued, his eyes were dull and hard. “It’s important for our workers to take care of their mental health,” he said in a flat tone that revealed how little he believed the words.

Jake nodded, not saying anything.