Page 26 of Holiday Wishes and Tentacle Dreams

Doren gripped Jake’s hand, their other hand rubbing his broad back. They said nothing, even as Jake sat there in silence, but just stayed by his side. They weren’t going anywhere, and they’d prove it.

“Sleeping too much is one of my symptoms,” Jake continued, “and my sleep has been messed up for a while now. I’ve been sleeping ten, twelve hours a night for a while. Last night I was out for probably sixteen. It’s easier to stay asleep than to get up. What is there to get up for?”

Jake raised his chin, and there was a deep sadness swirling in eyes, but beyond that, a shame Doren wished they could steal and bury, banish forever.

“I wish only to help, Jake. We’ve only known one other for a couple of weeks, but I care for you. I won’t abandon you to yourself.”

A single tear trailed down Jake’s cheek, but he dashed it away and stood up, stepping away from the couch.

“You don’t understand. This isn’t having a bad day, or even a terrible week. I’ve been in this latest cycle for months, and it could go months longer. When I’m in it, you can’t count on me. I’ve never thought about taking my own life—I’m lucky in that regard—but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. I’m a terrible partner, a terrible friend. Just ask my last boyfriend.”

“I don’t believe that.” Doren added steel to his tone. They might not be able to heal Jake’s illness, but they could reflect back reality as they saw it. “The last two weeks have proven to me you feel things deeply. You care so much. Now, is there anything that helps? Can I, I don’t know, bring you a peppermint latte? A board game? Set up some music? What makes you feel better?”

Jake shook his head. “Sometimes, nothing. I take my medication. I talk to my therapist once a week. He was willing to go virtual when I came up to Maine. I’m supposed to exercise, but I have trouble with that.”

Doren leaned forward, Jake’s musky, sweaty scent hitting them like the aroma of a perfect meal as they did. “I could teach you to surf. If you’re interested.”

Jake’s expression turned skeptical. “I’m not in very good shape. Don’t you have to do a pushup to stand on the board?”

“We can get you there.” Jake said nothing, but his face was a mask of doubt. “Only if you want to, though. What else?”

Doren’s species didn’t suffer from chemical depression in the same way as humans, but they had experience with deep melancholy and loneliness. It was a natural result of living so long. Doren understood what it was to feel trapped and hopeless. To despair of the future.

“This time of year is ordinarily good for me. I love the holidays. I always have. Gram always made Christmas special. But…the trunk of my car is full of decorations I haven’t touched. We’re two weeks into December, and usually my apartment is fully done by the Sunday after Thanksgiving.”

Standing, Doren hugged Jake once more. At first, Jake’s response was tentative, but after a moment the embrace grew stronger, as if Jake was holding on for dear life.

Doren bent their head down to bring their lips to his ear. “We can put up the decorations together if you’d like. Not all at once. Little by little, we can turn this place into a winter wonderland.”

Jake didn’t speak for almost two full minutes. Finally, he whispered, almost too soft to hear, but to Doren it was like a quiet, fervent prayer.

“Maybe.”

Chapter Nine

JAKE

“Would you accompany me on a walk?”

Doren’s face was open and compassionate, and to Jake’s relief, there wasn’t a trace of pity to be found.

“I like the way you talk. You’re so fancy sometimes.” Jake couldn’t keep from smiling, and Doren returned the expression, as if they couldn’t help themself from mirroring him.

When Doren cocked their head with a raised eyebrow, though, he realized he hadn’t answered the question. Jake glanced down at himself and remembered once again that he was only wearing a pair of cotton shorts.

“I need to take a shower and put on some clothes.”

Doren winked and turned back to the bookcase he was working on before, picking up his rag. “Not a problem, I’m not done yet with the dusting!”

Jake couldn’t stop staring at the—as always—shirtless surfer who was cleaning furniture in his temporary home. It hit him how hot the scenario was, but also ridiculous, like a bad porn scene.“Sorry, I forgot to do the laundry, but I couldn’t miss work. Cleaning houses is the only thing paying my bills while I get my PhD in human sexuality.”

Chuckling, a knot of tension released in Jake’s chest, followed by a strange little jolt of energy. He headed up to the second floor and hopped into the shower.

As the hot water ran down his skin, he reflected on the surprises of the last half hour. On Doren’s kindness and support.

There was something about Doren that was…not of this world? Coming out of the mental illness closet was usually a disaster. Even with close friends.

But Doren hadn’t shut down or run away. They didn’t look down on him or feel sorry for him. They never told him what he should do differently. Instead, they’d offered to help him put up decorations, something that he loved, even if he hadn’t been able to make it happen yet.