Page 8

Sebastian:

Alina beneath my body is how it always should have been. I’m still reeling that she’s even fucking here and I’m literally jumping her bones. Every fiber of who I am is on fire with her energy and it feels better than any rush I ever sustained from using. Her hand brushes up against my hard dick and I’m spinning, seeing stars as I remember just how good her love feels in and on my body. We’re both fucking shaking. And neither of us is trying to hide it. We’re baring it all for each other to see.

My fingers snake up under my shirt she’s wearing and find her nipple inside of the cup of her bra. I pull it down aggressively and pinch her without mercy. She moans, the sound charged and coming from deep within her. I twist it without warning and she’s snarling as she sinks her teeth into my shoulder, over my clothing. Her fingernails are digging into my sides, and her knees are caging my entire body in.

I buck my hips into hers, dry humping her and enjoying the sounds she makes as her arousal builds. “ Fuck , Bash,” she utters breathlessly and I’m seeing those same damn stars again at how holy my name sounds coming from her lips.

“Lina Girl,” I whisper back upon a growl and her bottom lip quivers as she looks deep into my eyes. I know she’s feeling everything I’m not saying out loud. I’m too vulnerable to admit all that shit right now. My feelings and how they never died for her, even after all this fucking time of being separated.

It doesn’t matter anyway as a ringtone blares from somewhere across the room and the moment is ruined. The reality of whatever fucked up shit she’s in becomes apparent as her face transforms into utter fear. “ Shit!! ” she cries, pushing me off of her and rushing to wherever her wet clothes are on the floor. I’m not looking. My vision is starting to go black, my anger simmering.

“Who’s that, Lina?” I ask hollowly as she answers her phone in a panic.

“Luke?” she rushes out quickly and the name is instantly ruined to me. I might even swear off my favorite sci-fi movie now. Fuck this Luke on the phone and every other Luke who’s ever existed. “I’m not home at the moment, I-“ she tries to say as she’s cut off and her silence infects the air. I clench my hands into fists and bite my bottom lip so hard, the copper tang of blood hits my tastebuds. “I’ll be home in half an hour,” she whispers. I look at her, hunched over her jeans, shame pouring from her eyes in the form of tears. She ends the call as I scoff with disbelief.

“Leaving so soon?” I ask disgusted. Alina closes herself off once more, instantly on the defense.

“My life isn’t just different now because you’ve shown up out of nowhere,” she says through clenched teeth. “I also didn’t massacre Albert’s balls today or ask for that to happen, but it’s as if I did, considering how pissed my employer is at me,” she says as she gathers her things. She begins clicking away furiously on her phone.

“What are you doing?” I demand, as if I have the right to know. She rolls her eyes.

“Getting an Uber back to my house,” she snaps as her eyes well with fresh tears. As much as I want to force her to take the fucking Uber out of spite, I can’t.

“Stop it. I’ll take you home,” I reply monotonously as I get off the bed and look around for my shoes. I pull a pair of black, low top Chucks onto my feet. I’m lacing them up as she just sits unmoving on the floor. “ Problem? ” I ask, knowing there are a fuck-ton more than just one.

“I want to thank you. I wish I could. For what you did for me today,” she says softly. Then her face hardens as she levels me with a stare that knocks the wind out of me. “But I’m about to pay for everything, while no consequences happen to you… and it hurts, Bash.”

“Tell me right now what the fuck is going on!” I yell as she shakes her head no. After a few minutes of silence, a set of headlights illuminate the driveway below outside. I walk over to the window, seeing the proof of her uncanceled Uber. “Fuck, Alina! Just stay here and don’t get in that fucking car!!” I beg her emotionally. She won’t meet my eyes.

“Goodbye, Bash. I hope we don’t meet again under the same circumstances fourteen more years from now,” she says, as she leaves in my clothes and walks down the stairs. I’m running after her in a panic, grabbing at her body, pleading with her not to leave. She just keeps brushing me off, looking anywhere but in my eyes, telling me I have no idea what I’m talking about. The rain is pouring steadily as she exits my house and walks towards her ride. She doesn’t even look back at me sobbing alone, just out from under the alcove, getting drenched with water.

I feel nothing.

Not the cold.

Not the pain.

I’m numb and hollow and she’s slipping through my fucking fingers again . And I hate myself so fucking much because of it. If it wouldn’t be considered a crime, I’d tie her to a chair and make her stay with me, but what kind of life would that be?

She gets to choose her fate.

I just wish she’d stop shattering me each time in the process.

Alina:

I’m back to wanting to die as I step into the Uber, closing the door and doing everything I can not to look at Sebastian. But it’s too much and I’m too pathetic and my eyes are glued to the fallen rockstar through the window as he desperately cries out for me to stay with him. I’m fogging the glass as I press myself into it, wanting nothing more in this life than to stay with Bash Cox forever.

But I belong to Luke.

And he’s meeting me at my house to talk about the unplanned events involving my client today. It won’t be a discussion. It’ll be a punishment, and it’ll involve some sort of sexual favor I won’t want to perform. I hate myself as the thought of death crosses my mind again.

I did try to hold on. I wanted to lie beneath Bash forever, but when the silence was broken by my phone, I knew the consequences would be greater if I put them off for my own self interests. I’m not allowed to have those.

The Uber is quiet, but I barely notice in my state of anxiety. Luke is not a nice man. And working for him is usually something one only does if their life depends on it. Or if you were made to be the payment for your father’s fucking gambling addiction.

Every time I close my eyes, I see Bash. The way he obliterated Albert’s balls. His fury at me when he yelled at me in the car. The feeling of his fingers slipping into me and how he felt stretching my pussy out when he fucked me open in the bathroom. How he ended up singing to me for hours and it felt like seconds. His scent. It hasn’t changed much but has grown up like he has. The smell of fading laundry soap beneath a woodsy aroma with a hint of smoke.

The way he told me he’d always fucking care about me…

And now, the life I’m trapped in is becoming an actual reality again, materializing to mock me as my Uber drives me back towards my fucked up circumstances. I had turned off my emotions, had locked a part of me away so deep I thought it’d never see the light of day again.

And within an evening, Bash undid everything. I can’t ignore it anymore. And that might be the scariest part of it all.

*****

I sigh when we pull up to my house and Luke’s car is nowhere to be seen. My heart settles for a moment, thinking I can at least gather myself to face this shit while I wait for him. I thank the driver and exit the vehicle after handing him a twenty-dollar bill. I know what it’s like to work in customer service.

I run to my porch and find my spare key hidden beneath a flowerpot. I hadn’t been able to snag my purse from the bar when Bash threw me in his Audi earlier. I always make sure to have my phone on me when I leave with clients though, just in case.

I unlock my door and sigh heavily, trying to find something tangible to grasp onto to ground my racing heart. I don’t want to be in Bash’s clothes when Luke gets here. These feel special to me now and if I never see him again, I want them to be kept pristine and separate from the trauma I’m about to endure.

I walk into my room, dropping my wet clothing from earlier onto the floor and stop when I notice the light to my adjoining bathroom is on. There’s a rustling of papers and a sniff from inside. My heart starts to pound faster inside of my chest and my stomach roils with acid.

He’s already here. The bastard hid his car so I’d drop my guard.

“Heard you come in, so you might as well show your face, kitten,” a voice calls out as my hands begin to shake uncontrollably at my sides. My jaw chatters from anxiety, my lips quivering violently along with it. I want to be walking anywhere but into this bathroom, my fucking bathroom. This is all a power play to remind me that nothing I have is safe from him. He owns everything and everyone in this fucking town, including me. His standards are met or there’s hell to pay.

My eyes take a second to adjust to the brightness of the lights. They water as they do. I wipe away the tears, more already forming and making their way down my cheeks.

I purchased this house on my own. I worked my ass off to be able to do it and it was my sanctuary. Now, Luke has defiled it in every sense of the word. He’s seated on my toilet, wearing a purple suit jacket with a white tiger striped silk shirt. His matching purple pants are around his ankles as he holds up a magazine and reads, shitting in my fucking toilet.

My fucking toilet!

My house. My place. My safety he’s disrespecting.

And I know it’s only the beginning.

“I’ll just be a minute,” he says with a casual smile. I hate the way he’s acting so calmly because I know he’s holding back. He’s trying to make me feel like there’s some sort of hope to this situation that I haven’t seen yet and he’s gifting it to me.

He’s not.

“Fine, I’ll change while you continue blowing up my toilet,” I say through gritted teeth, needing with everything in me to rid myself of Bash’s clothes. But Luke just laughs softly and holds up a gun I didn’t notice sitting on the counter next to him.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he says, waving it in the air before reaching out and pointing it at me. “You’re going to wait right there, kitten.” His smile disappears, his eyes hardening threateningly. He wants to watch me squirm and honestly, it’s having the desired effect. I’m horrified.

Before Bash came storming back into my life, I would’ve welcomed this threat. It wasn’t as if I had anything to lose. I was just waiting around to die, too chicken shit to take action.

But tonight, I’m not ok.

I immediately think of Bash. About how much I want to see him again. To hear him sing to me while he plays his guitar. To watch that smirk light up his face as he throws a sarcastic remark my way. Sebastian Cox is the most special man on the planet and I’m standing here in his outfit, watching my dickhead overlord take a fucking shit upon my porcelain throne.

I’m devastated.

And what I’m waiting for… it’s all going to happen while I’m wearing his clothes.

*****

He makes me wait twenty minutes.

Luke flips through the magazine while laughing, showing me pictures here and there like we’re close friends hanging out gossiping about the newest celebrity news. It’s all a front. I don’t allow myself to hope for a second that any of this casual banter is an omen of what’s to come.

That’ll be far darker.

Watching him wipe enrages me. I turn away disgusted as he makes a scene, purposefully using too much toilet paper. And as I predicted in my head, he overflows the fucking toilet. I have to run into my room to avoid the encroaching water heading towards my toes. He smiles as he exits without washing his hands, placing them both on my upper arms gently after buttoning his suit jacket.

“Alina,” Luke sighs with a large grin and hugs me tightly, possessively, against his body. I’m barely breathing. He pushes me away, looking into my eyes with raised brows. I’m on fucking edge, waiting for him to get it over with already. “Walk with me. What kind of food you got here?” he asks as we exit my room to stand in the living room beyond.

“Not much, I’m due for a shopping trip,” I mumble, hoping to god he’s just dragging this out and not actually wanting something to eat. Although, if he were going for degrading, making me cook for him before he fucked me up would do the job.

“Bummer. It’s been a long night. We had to dispose of your client, Albert. Yep . Can’t have him going around ruining your business on account of some rumor that a has-been rockstar has decided to take up defenses for you,” he says as he sniffs loudly and wipes at his nose.

“Albert’s dead?” I ask, knowing full well he is. Luke slowly nods his head yes to confirm my question.

“Bad for business,” he simply states, adjusting his cuffs nonchalantly. He takes out a pack of cigarettes and lights one while walking over to my couch. Unbuttoning his jacket, he spreads his arms wide over the back cushions as he settles into the middle seat. He throws his feet up on my coffee table. “So, who is this Sebastian Cox to you, anyway?”

It’s a trick question. Admitting that I know Bash is like admitting fault for what he did. I hadn’t asked for his help, nor would I have ever been interested in reuniting with him were it not for his intrusive involvement.

“I have no idea!” I lie as Luke arches a brow, his exhaled smoke floating towards me. “The guy came out of nowhere. I had my back to him when he attacked us.”

“ Why did he do so? ” He speaks slowly, dragging out the words as if I’m stupid. I internalize a scream.

“Because Albert was fucking assaulting me,” I respond, surprised I told the truth. But Luke just laughs.

“Kitten. You’re a whore . There’s no such thing as assault upon a whore. Especially you, babe. You’ve been working for me for so long, I highly doubt any respectable person would be fucking you anyway,” he finishes with a long drag. “You know we’ve been over this.”

It’s so stupid, because I know his words are false somewhere deep inside of me. But I feel like what he’s saying is true. That I’m imagining what happened to me and let Bash get inside of my head. I’m handled by many different men, many different ways.

It could’ve been a lot worse.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve stopped it,” I whisper as Luke considers my apology. Silence settles over us and I’m squirming once more inside of the anxiety he’s preying upon.

“The thing is, this man left with you in his hands. Now if you didn’t know him and didn’t go willingly, I could have this kidnapper taken care of,” he says with a smirk cocked to one side of his mouth as he studies my reaction. I’m careful not to allow any emotion to cross my face. “That or you’re lying, you do know him and you think that you can pull a fast one on me.”

His eyes are dark and dangerous, his bloodlust filling the room around us as he gazes at me intently. I swallow loudly. I don’t know what to say to him. I just want to keep Bash safe. Luke points to the ground. “On your knees, kitten.” I’m suddenly on my knees, my trembling hands planted on my thighs, my eyes averted to anything else in the room that isn’t my pimp. He crooks a finger and motions me forward with it. “Crawl to me, Alina.”

I do. One hand in front of the other, slowly approaching him to drag it all out, just like he likes it. It’s degrading and I hate it. A complete power move he pulls often to remind me I am literally not human in his eyes. I’m less than an animal also, because I’ve seen how well he treats his dogs, and those fuckers get steak for dinner. Every fucking night. His goddamn prized Dobermans. I’d like them if he hadn’t trained them to be so violent and mean. They eat the flesh of his victims, so he doesn’t have to dispose of as much. I think of Albert being munched on, his body torn to bits by the pack of hungry, rabid dogs. I wrinkle my nose in response, waiting for Luke’s next command.

He doesn’t give one though. I’m crouched before him on my goddamn haunches while he finishes his cigarette and stubs it out on my coffee table. I saved for three months to buy that fucking table. He ruined it in three seconds. He finally looks at me, advancing with his vile hands.

He begins to pet my face, my neck, my hair. I wince thinking of him shitting and wiping without washing them afterwards and how he’s just rubbing them all over me disturbingly and with increasing pressure after each pass. But Luke is a sadist and likes to get off on pain. This is another power play. When will the petting turn into punching? I’m still leaking tears as we make eye contact, and he pushes my hair from my face. “Little kitten. Are you scared?” he murmurs softly. I nod my head yes. There’s no point in lying. I’m truly terrified. His smile widens, turning menacing as he grabs my cheeks in one hand and squeezes, my teeth digging into them painfully. Blood blooms in my mouth and honestly, it’s a relief. The faster he gets this over with, the quicker I can start recovering.

“Free my dick,” he demands as he pulls me down to his crotch by my face. He finally lets me go as I whimper in gratitude. I begin to shakily unbuckle his belt before undoing the button on his pants. His silk boxers beneath free his half-chub and I grimace, knowing I have to harden him up first. More precious time being spent with him in this fucked up situation. His fingers twist themselves into my hair, wrapping at the base of my skull. He’s fisting it tightly, but not painfully. Which is worse, waiting for the shocking agony I know he’ll inevitably deliver. He’s just fucking with my head as to when. He massages my cheek with his other hand and looks into my eyes. “You’ve got a job to do. Suck the dick that owns you, kitten.”

I grab at his shaft and begin to pump my hand over it first, doing everything I can to block out the image of his face. I open my mouth, repressing a gag as I take him in. With my eyes closed, I think of Bash and his perfect cock. How pretty it is. Equal parts thick and lengthy, it always stood so proudly for me all those years ago. He would be hard just being around me, and he was constantly finding his way inside of me. A thrill shoots through me knowing he was inside of me mere hours ago. It allows me to relax my throat and take Luke deeper, my fantasy keeping me going.

This is Bash, I lie to myself as I feel Luke’s hand caress my head, his thumb working gentle circles through my hair. This is Bash’s dick, Bash’s pleasure, this is my choice, not my pimp’s …

And then, as Luke hardens fully, the soft circles stop. His fingers become angry as they grip my hair and pull, the pain blinding in its intensity. He tugs me off his cock to look into my distressed eyes. “You fucking stupid bitch,” he begins in an angry whisper. My eyes widen as his own narrow with hatred. He pulls me to his face as he meets me with a savage kiss, his teeth digging into the meat of my bottom lip and clamping down.

I scream as I thrash within his hands. It only invites him to bite down upon me harder. I’m wondering what I’ll look like with a missing chunk of my face, meeting my regulars with my fucked up new mouth as he finally releases me. Before I can even catch my breath, he fists the base of his dick in his opposite hand and pulls me forward to it. I open my mouth, knowing what’s coming next. He does indeed pull me onto his cock, but I’m not prepared for him to slam me down on the hand that holds himself, my nose meeting the chunky, gaudy, golden rings he wears and busting all over them as he smashes himself to the back of my throat.

He holds me there.

I can’t fucking breathe.

My nose is gushing blood over Luke’s lap and my mouth is obviously occupied. I’m frantically squirming below him as he holds me down without any relief of freedom, his breath coming out in grunts, his cock going even harder in my mouth. He loves inflicting pain. “Oh kitten, watching you bleed on my dick is one of the greatest pleasures this life has to offer,” he says as we glare at each other. I force myself to remain calm as my eyes meet his. He stares at me without compassion. Ten more seconds pass, the longest ten seconds of my life, before he finally pulls me off his crotch harshly in a fit of spit and tears and carnage. I gasp and suck in as much air as I can, not caring that blood is pouring down my throat as I do. I know he’s going to choke me again and I need it to sustain me when he does.

And just as I suspected, he brings me up to his face where he licks my nose in large strokes and cleans me of my blood before slamming me back down over his dick, my injured nose meeting his jewelry once more. He increases the pressure on my neck as he holds me down forcefully. My legs and arms flounder around me. I’m trying to land a punch, a scratch, anything upon his body to allow me some sort of break from the torture.

His knee comes up below me and catches me in the stomach, knocking what little air I have left from my body. He throws me off of him just in time for me to puke next to my couch, shaking uncontrollably as I tremble with fear and panic and extreme shock.

“Get it all out, kitten. You have a job to finish,” he growls at me as I continue to barf all over my fucking living room. It’s everything I can do to keep from hyperventilating so I can finish this punishment and move onto recovering.

When I think I’m in the clear, I turn back to him and crawl again upon my shaky hands and knees. Not because I want to or because it was commanded of me, but because I’m hurting so badly. My nose continues to throb and discharge blood across my lips. My vision is bleary and I’m finding it hard to stay awake as I begin to lose energy, my adrenaline waning while exhaustion sets in.

“You can sleep when you’re done, Alina. I have a load to blow in your dirty, disobedient mouth,” Luke seethes as I climb back to his lap and descend upon him in one final act of non-consensual submission.

He finishes on my tongue, making me look at him as I swallow. It’s expected . I open my mouth before he has to ask, to show him I complied. He nods and zips himself back into his pants, the red of my blood making the purple of his suit look dark and demented. “I expect you be ready to go Friday at your usual time, without any interferences from that fucking musician. If he wasn’t such a high-profile fuck around, I would’ve had him taken care of already to ensure that what’s mine isn’t taken from me without permission.” He gets up, leaving me on my knees by the sofa. “Don’t disappoint me again, Alina. You won’t like the consequences. And neither will he.”

He strolls out the front door without looking back as I black out.