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CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

ST. CLARE

This comms feels weird in my ear. “Do we really need this?” I ask Tommy, who’s just walked me through how to use it. “We have our phones.”

“If you run into the type of people you don’t want to run into, they won’t wait while you whip out your phone to text us.”

“But you said yourself I’m not in any danger.”

“Walking around SODO at night is asking to be put into danger. Maybe they won’t kill you, but being beaten up or robbed is high on the list of fuck yous that place has in store.”

“Oh, good. I’m glad my brother didn’t pick somewhere dangerous and ill-advised to hang out.”

“Do you have any idea why he’d be there?”

I can feel them all looking at me, and yes, I do feel partially responsible for us all hauling ass out to the industrial district at night. It’s my brother who’s done a reckless thing, but I think he and Perry are currently tied for worst decisions where I’m concerned. “No. And it doesn’t make sense that he didn’t talk to me about any of it either.”

“Does he know anyone who works or lives down that way?”

I frustratingly shake my head again. “Colin doesn’t know anyone. He works. That’s it. He doesn’t do friends. He doesn’t have anyone outside of me and Lars. ”

Perry’s forehead crumples. “No friends?”

“I know it sounds sad, but Colin has always been a bit … operating on another level to the rest of us. He likes to play and tinker and work. Saint Clare’s is his baby. I’ve always just been along for the ride.”

“You did a lot too,” Lars says, and I appreciate his support. “You built it together.”

“Not enough together if he went running off to some asshole like Carson Alexander.” It’s hard not to feel bitter about him making choices and not checking with me first.

Everett shudders. They’re all wearing black and brought clothes for us too, but Ever is the only one wearing a leather jacket. “I have no interest in playing with him.”

“Let’s hope Colin is super easy to find, then, and it doesn’t come to that.”

“Right,” Arlie says, checking her watch. “We’ll go in teams. Ever and Perry, me and Lars, Tommy and St. Clare.”

I breathe a small sigh of relief that I’m not with Ever, but splitting up from Perry and Lars doesn’t sit right with me either. “What if someone spots Perry? He’s still on Luther’s list, isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Arlie confirms. “But no one’s really paying attention to him when Colin’s been made the priority. Plus, he’s with Ever.”

I force myself to look at the guy. “Can you handle it?”

He laughs in a terrifying way. “Not just handle it. I’ll handle it and enjoy it.”

“Not sure I want to know what that means, but it’s mildly reassuring.”

“Thank you,” Perry says suddenly. “You three didn’t have to come or help us, but I really appreciate that you did.”

“Don’t thank us yet.” Arlie shifts to her other foot as Tommy stands and throws his arm around Perry’s shoulders.

“We’re friends. It’s what friends do. We love you, man.”

“Awww, I love you too.”

Perry lights up, and I have to remind myself approximately thirty-five times that I’m not allowed to get jealous over their friendship. Or the way Perry lit up. Or how Tommy is still touching him. I’m not glaring at them. Not at all.

“Yeah, yeah,” Arlie says with all of the patience I’m feeling. “Perry is great. Now, can we get on with it?”

I’m with Arlie. And not even only because of the jealousy thing. The sooner we go, the sooner we could maybe, potentially find Colin. “I’m ready.”

None of these people should be doing this, and I want to believe it will be a quiet night of searching, but the pit in my gut says otherwise. Like this deep knowledge everything is about to go wrong.

“Let’s go.” Ever zips up the front of his jacket. “There’s no use waiting around for anything else.”

We head outside to where there are two cars waiting for us. It’s hard to shake the urge to look around for people lurking in the shadows, and I can’t believe that after only a few days of thinking I was in danger, it’s taken such a deep hold of my mind.

I’m not sure I’ll ever shake it.

Lars and Arlie are heading to the opposite side of the industrial district from where we’re going, and before they can climb into the other car, we lock eyes. He gives me a sharp nod that I try to return as I remind myself that Lars has had training. Lars knows how to defend himself. Out of the six of us, I’m the biggest liability.

Arlie promised she’d keep him safe anyway, but I’ve run out of trust for people.

“Let’s go,” Tommy says, leading the way to the car we’re taking.

He climbs into the driver’s seat, and Ever takes shotgun while Perry and I climb in the back. I’m glad we haven’t split up yet, and that feeling intensifies as his hand wraps around mine on the cushion between us.

“We’re going to find him,” he says with way more conviction than I feel.

“Of course we are.” There’s nothing else I can do but agree because what if we don’t? It’s not a possibility I’m interested in .

It’s time that Colin came back, and I need it to happen sooner rather than later. Other than holding on to Perry’s hand for dear life, we don’t talk for the drive down there. The closer we get, the less traffic there is until we reach the imposing dilapidated-looking buildings. We’re starting on the water side while Lars and Arlie come from the other direction, but being here, seeing the huge shadowy monsters, hits me with a feeling of complete hopelessness. If Colin’s here—and that’s still a big if —how the hell are we supposed to find him anyway?

There’s just … so many places. Too many places. How the fuck are we going to search this whole area?

We pull up on a grassy stretch of dirt near where Colin was last seen, and Tommy kills the engine. Unlike me, the other three don’t look at all bothered by the fact we’re going out there and looking for a needle in a fucking haystack.

“Right,” Tommy says, unlatching his door. “Reilly and I will head down that street. You two head that way.”

“No worries,” Ever replies, climbing out of the car. Tommy follows him, and I turn to Perry, not bothering to keep the worry off my face.

“You good?” I ask.

“Of course. We’re going to find your brother, so that’s one less thing for you to worry about.”

“Right.” Before I talk myself out of it, I lean in and kiss him. His lips claim mine like magnets, the natural force bringing us together where we belong.

He pulls back before I’m ready and flashes me a smile. “See you in a bit.” He pops his door too, and I hurry to follow suit, not wanting to be left alone in the silence.

Tommy switches his ear comms on. “You good, Arlie?” After a second, he glances at Everett. “Masks on. Let’s find this fucker.”

Perry and Everett leave, and then it’s me and Tommy and the eerily still silence all around us.

“We’ll see what places we can get inside, but I’m not overly worried about searching locked buildings. If we can’t get in, your brother can’t either. ”

I hope he’s right about that. I tug my mask up over my mouth and nose, then hurry to fall into step with him. I’m taller than Tommy, but he walks fast. “Why can’t you find him on the security cameras like you did earlier?”

“Because there has to be security cameras.” Tommy points toward the nearest building. “Not everywhere has them, and the ones that do are more concerned with keeping their buildings and goods protected rather than what’s happening on the street. There are a lot of blind spots down here.”

I can’t wrap my head around why Colin would be here in the first place. We’re not exactly rich and privileged shitheads, but we’re still on the side of rich and privileged that stops us hanging out in creepy places like this.

“Do we yell out for him?” I ask, which is a stupid question when I’m asking in a whisper anyway.

“Do you want to advertise we’re here?”

“Not particularly.”

“Then maybe no yelling.”

I concede he has a point. We make it to the end of the street with no sight of anyone, and Tommy sighs, then reaches up and turns off his comms. “Gives me a headache,” he explains. “I’ve already got too many voices in my head to deal with all of them too. I’ll check back in if we find a building we can get inside.”

“You work well together. How long have you known them?”

We take a left and walk along the side of another building. The cement path is overgrown and shadowy from twiggy trees. “A while. I knew Arlie first, then Everett not long after. Perry showed up a few years ago and never left.”

“But he’s only new at … all this?”

“I wouldn’t even call him new.” Tommy’s grinning, eyes bright. “I don’t classify him as even starting. That man is way too pure for this world.”

“I’ve seen a side of him that says otherwise.”

He runs an amused glance over me. “No you didn’t. If you did, you’d be dead.”

Well, he’s got me there. “Tell me about Arlie. ”

“Why? Do you want to sleep with her? Everyone wants to sleep with her.”

“I’m gay, so no. Lars might though.”

Tommy shrugs, pushing up on his toes to look through a high window. “She’s single from what she’s told us, so he might have a chance. Super picky, though, and a very short temper.”

“I guess it’s lucky Lars is infinitely patient.”

Tommy’s attention turns back to the street and we keep walking. It’s freezing out, and I’m coiled so tight in anticipation of someone jumping out at us that my back is aching.

We’re about an hour in when Tommy stops suddenly.

“What is it?”

Without a word, he reaches under his jacket and pulls out a gun. Then hands it to me. “Just in case.”

That makes my fear spike. “Just so you know, I’m a terrible shot.”

“Let’s hope you don’t need to use it, then.” He points at a building across from us. It’s a warehouse with large roller doors and high windows so grimy you can’t see through them. “I think I saw something in there.”

“Okay. Let’s check it out.” I’m trying to be confident, but it’s not working.

We cross the street and creep closer. Tommy finds a side door and tries it, but it’s locked tight. We keep circling the building until we find another one, and this time when he turns the handle, the door unlatches and swings open on creaky hinges.

His sweeping hand is an invitation. “After you, princess.”

The pet name is almost enough to insist he goes first, but I’m not a fucking coward, and while this might be stressful and out of the ordinary, I’m not about to show him that I’m creeped out. So I go first, stepping into the narrow, dark hallway, and when Tommy follows and closes the door behind us, the whole room goes black.

“Got a flashlight?” I ask, ignoring my hammering heart.

He flips on a tiny one and uses his palm to dim the light. His brightly unfocused eyes meet mine. “Spooky.”

“Can you focus, please? ”

He cracks a smile and takes the lead. “There’s nothing to be worried about. I’m used to skulking about in the dark. It’s where I do my best work.”

I eye his shadowy profile. “I thought it would be easier to kill someone in good lighting.”

“Me? Nah, I don’t kill anyone. That’s Arlie and Ever’s job.”

“It sounds like Ever really likes it.”

“You could say that. He’s less of a hitman, though, and more of a …”

“Yeah?”

“A butcher.”

My stress levels spike. “What?”

“He’s the guy you call in when you don’t want someone dead, just mentally scarred for the rest of their lives.”

Even the idea of that turns my stomach. “And he’s alone with Perry?”

“Don’t worry, we’re all in it for the pay. Everyone who’s good at their job knows not to do it for free.”

Then what do they call this?

Somehow, that doesn’t make me any less worried. Not even a little bit. I put slightly more distance between us. “And what do they call you?”

“If I bothered to give myself an alias, it would have been Loot.”

Loot? “So you …”

“Am a thief. Priceless goods are my specialty. I know exactly how to get what I want when people least expect it.”

The momentary fake safety I feel over not being with a professional killer is hard to hang on to when he says things like that. “And what do you want?”

“Right now?” He shrugs. “To find your brother.”

“But why?”

“It’s the whole reason we’re here.”

My gut sinks as we leave the hall for a wide-open warehouse floor. “But you said … you just said that if you’re good at it, don’t work for free. So why are you? ”

Tommy turns to me, eyes shrewd, but before he can get a word out, his focus shifts to behind me. “Well, that’s interesting.”

Without warning, he releases his hold on the flashlight, and light floods the building. Which isn’t a good thing.

Not when what I’m looking at is ten or so enormous men and women surrounding us.

“Shit,” I mutter. “Sorry to barge in,” I get out, sounding like I’m trying to swallow gravel. “We were looking for someone.”

“They’re not here,” a woman immediately replies.

“Right. Okay.” I go to walk backward but collide with Tommy, and the gun I was holding clatters to the floor.

The three people I can make out by the dim light immediately turn their attention to it and then snap back to me again. “That’s umm?—”

Tommy takes over. “Colin St. Clare. Know where he is?”

Unlike me, Tommy doesn’t sound like he’s shitting bricks. He keeps his attention on the woman who spoke while I watch the shadowy people surround us. My heart is getting sickeningly fast.

The woman narrows her eyes at Tommy. “No. Now, get out.”

“Colin with a C ,” he pushes. “In case that helps your memory.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Guy who’s wanted by Carson Alexander.”

This time, the answer takes longer to come. It’s a man who steps in this time. “We said get out.”

“I’d love to,” Tommy continues, and I can tell he’s smiling even without looking at him. “And I would, totally, of course. If you weren’t lying to me.”

My attention whips to him and then back to the crowd again. “You know where he is?”

“We told you we didn’t. Now, you have ten seconds to leave, or you won’t like what comes next.”

“Ten …” Tommy says. “Nine … eight …”

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“They said I won’t like what comes next—six!—so I can’t wait to find out what that is.”

“What are you?— ”

“Fivefourthreetwo … one !”

And before I know what’s happened, as he hits one, Tommy kicks the strength from my knees, and they smash into the concrete floor. The pain barely has had a chance to register when the shockingly hard barrel of his gun presses against the back of my head.

I freeze.

Spine turned to ice as the hairs prickling down my neck stand on end.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I wheeze.

He releases the safety with a too-loud metallic clink.

“You might want to tell Colin St. Clare that he has ten seconds to get his ass down here. Or he’s not going to like what I do to his brother.”