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CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

PERRY

“So your brother is apparently missing but just dropped by a whole load of ATMs for a little cash hit?” I ask, trying to wrap my head around things. I’m channeling my horoscope and trying to be confident , but I’m clueless what I’m supposed to be confident about.

Fake it until I make it and whatever.

“Guess so,” St. Clare mutters.

I want to reach over and pull his hand into mine, play with his fingers, and draw some of his stress my way. I’m not sure where the line between us is, though, because sex is one thing, and giving each other comfort is something totally different. Am I allowed to do that? Would Lars find it weird? Yeah, he knows we had sex last night, but plenty of people have sex for plenty of reasons, and when it comes to me, it’s never because they want anything more than an orgasm.

It’s sort of offensive the number of times I’ve been told I’m not the kind of guy someone wants to see again.

So I keep my hands in my hands and watch the way St. Clare’s doesn’t stop moving with the anxiety running through him.

“No offense, but if your brother is okay enough to take out money, he should be okay enough to message you not to worry about him. ”

“Unless someone else is behind this.”

I drum my fingers on my knees to give them something to do. I dunno. This whole thing isn’t sitting right with me. “Couldn’t Colin have transferred the money?”

“What?”

“Well, I assume he can still log in. Why wouldn’t he do that instead of getting out cash? Cash is a lot more effort, especially going to multiple places where he could easily be seen. He’s a missing person. You can’t really wander around the streets as a missing person. I assume. Cash screams shady.”

St. Clare groans, scrubbing at his hair. “All I know is that there’s a good chance he’s alive, and there’s a good chance he’s done this because someone else is making him.”

“Or …” I don’t want to throw out this option, but we sort of need to. “What if there’s no one behind this, and he’s grabbing the money to keep paying his debts while he’s in hiding but doesn’t want anyone to know he’s still alive, which is why he went with the cash option? I mean, shit, it probably wasn’t even him taking the money out in case he was caught on a camera.”

“Why would he do that?”

I shrug, not sure I want to say the next part, but hey. Confidence. Gotta do it. “You said the other nightclub isn’t happy with you. But not just you. Both of you. I think he’s probably in hiding to save his ass.”

“He would have told me if that was the case.”

“ Or he wanted the guys after you both to focus on someone other than him.”

I was right. I shouldn’t have said that. St. Clare looks shocked, but Lars is glaring my way.

“You think his brother is setting him up to be killed?”

“No. I’m saying it’s a possibility, and we need to think of all possibilities instead of focusing on only that nightclub.”

“You’re right.” Lars stands up and paces to the other side of the room. “You really aren’t great with planning, so you should probably stay out of that side of things.”

“That’s like accusing Margot,” St. Clare adds. “It’s ridiculous. ”

“Fine.” I’ll let it go. I’ve never met this Colin guy, so it’s not like I can argue the point, and if someone tried to tell me that Margot was pushing me into the line of fire, I’d be fucking pissed.

“He always dealt with the accounts because I’m useless with numbers, but … why wouldn’t he tell me … whatever this is?”

“He’ll tell us once we find him,” Lars says.

“K. Well. Larsy-babe, you’re up. You do your …” I wave my fingers like I’m typing. “Techy things to see what you can find, and then I’ll start looking into this nightclub since we have no other leads.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“I’ll be taking my car, and you won’t be able to contact me because my phone is off, so if I’m not back by tonight, you can probably go ahead and assume I’m dead.”

“Stop.” Lars pinches that spot between his eyes that I’ve seen him do more times than I can count. “Why is your phone off?”

“I’m worried that it’s being tracked.”

“Well, that’s news to me.”

“If it helps, it’s probably not. No one has shown up here yet, but after yesterday …”

“I know you have a lot of thoughts, constantly, all at once, but these are the ones you have to share.”

“Noted.”

St. Clare’s watching me. “What are you going to do?”

“That sounds a lot like you’re asking me what I have planned, and we’re not going there again. I’m going to head over to Rev and talk to the guy.”

“That’s not a good idea.”

He can say that all he likes, but we’re kind of stuck. We need an out, and this will help us work out if it was those guys or not. I’m leaning toward not, but what the hell would I know? They’re business owners, and I’m sure they’re perfectly normal guys who would be fine with a chat. If they’re not, well, that probably gives me my answer.

“Quick question,” I say, half-joking and actually half kind of not. “Do you think any of my ideas are actual good ideas? ”

His mouth flattens. “You know I do. The whole keeping me alive thing? Great idea.”

“It was a great idea, which is why you should have listened to me. But you didn’t. And now we’re here.”

“Sorry.” St. Clare tugs at his hair. “This is all new territory for me too, and apparently, I’m not so good at it.”

“Join the club.” I stand up and grab my hoodie, pulling it on carefully over my very stained and kinda ruined new favorite T-shirt. But at least they’re both clean, so that’s an improvement over yesterday. “Why don’t we all start supporting each other’s wild ideas until we stumble our way out of this mess? I’ll be as fast as I can.”

Before I’ve even taken a step, St. Clare jumps up and cuts me off.

“They might kill you.”

I understand why he’s worried, but that feels like a leap. “Why?”

“Because they’re not good guys.”

“Yeah, but the only one who wants me dead is Luther. Whoever wants you dead just wants you dead, and they don’t actually realize you’re not dead yet.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Actually, Luther was very clear about that part. He’s stressing over killing you before the bad guys can figure out that you’re still alive. If Yanni was who hired him and they know I killed you, I’ll basically be a hero to them.”

Lars is shaking his head. “If they ordered the hit, they did it through Luther so it couldn’t be traced to them. You knowing it was them will make you a target with more people. If you’re set on doing this, you need to say as little as possible.”

“As little as possible. That’s totally something I can do.”

“You are so dead …” he mutters.

That pulls me up short. “I’m about to do this big thing, and I could really use the support of my team behind me.”

“Sorry.” At least it looks like he means it. “If it helps at all, I don’t actually want you to die. ”

“That does help, thank you.”

St. Clare swallows and runs his thumb over my jaw. “I don’t want you to die either.”

“Well, that’s a relief.” I set a smile free and give in to the urge to give his hand a quick squeeze. “In and out, quick as I can. I’ve got this.”

I get a flicker of his smirk. “I’ll have a reward waiting for you when you’re back.”

I groan because the last thing I need walking into this place is a fucking hard-on. That’s probably not the way I want to get their attention.

“Hold that thought.” I grab my car keys and head out, not wanting to delay shit any further. The sooner I get on the road, the sooner I get back, and then the sooner St. Clare can give me my reward. Which is very clearly his dick and very, very appreciated on my end.

Fucking is a good way to pass the time between dangers.

It’s not until I get to the car that I realize I’ve left my bag and gun inside. Props to me for realizing it before I got on the road though.

I head back for the cabin, and when I go to push the front door open, I catch the sound of my name.

“… the whole reason we kept Perry,” Lars insists.

The what? I lean closer, ear to the door, wondering what the hell they’re talking about.

“Do you really think Yanni will give a shit?”

“Can we really afford not to try?”

Try what ? Yanni is the guy I’m supposed to find, so this feels like the kind of conversation that I should have been a part of.

“Come on,” Lars says, lowering his voice. “I get it. I like Perry too. But in a choice between him and Colin, are you really telling me you’re going to put him first?”

“Of course not.” I’ve never heard St. Clare sound so irritated.

“Then I need to make the call. I’ll ask Yanni if he knows anything about Colin, and if he does, he needs to give up the info. I’ll … I dunno. Tell him I’ve hired a hitman to take him out and that if he gives me what I want, I’ll give up the hitman.”

“We could have at least warned Perry first,” St. Clare says, and I wholeheartedly agree.

They should have warned me.

Because I’m pretty stupid most of the time, but they’re spelling it out in a way that even I can understand. They’re going to trade me. For his brother.

The little nudge in my chest catches me by surprise, and I massage the pain away. This shouldn’t be a shock for me; it was only yesterday that I got hit with the realization that I’m not on anyone’s team. There’s them. And then there’s me.

This is St. Clare’s brother , and I’m just the guy who’s always in the way and made him come a few times. There’s no competition there.

It really shouldn’t hurt to have them confirm everything I already know.

Once there’s a short break in their conversation, I push aside the hurt and shove open the door like I haven’t heard a thing.

“Forgot my stuff,” I explain, doing everything I can to sound as happy as ever.

I grab my bag, make sure my mask, gun, and wallet are all in there, and then I head for the door again.

Neither of them has moved, and before I walk out, I can’t stop from letting that pain sneak back in a touch. It has my mouth moving before I can stop it. “This whole being on the run thing sucks, but at least I have you two. It makes things a bit less lonely.”

And knowing that I don’t really have them makes me feel lonelier than I ever have in my life.