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CHAPTER THIRTY

ST. CLARE

“How long are you going to make him wait?” Lars asks.

Which is a good question because I’m suddenly getting cold feet over doing this again, but that doesn’t distract me from how much I want to do this again. I’m a mess of contradictions, and I’m struggling to have anything make sense in my head.

“Forever?”

He calls my bluff. “Liar.”

“No, but I’m actually starting to think this is a bad idea.”

“That would have been helpful at this time yesterday.” He shrugs, finally getting the first sparks of the fire going. “At what point do you say fuck it because everything looks bad and you deserve to take the small amount of good you have? If that’s fooling around with the guy who tried to kill you, then so be it.”

“You’re on board now?”

“Oh, no, I still think it’s a stupid idea.” He pokes at the simmering flame. “And I fully intend for us to find a way out of this mess, but I don’t blame you for wanting to have some fun in the meantime.”

“What about you?”

“I have my horoscopes.” Then he pumps his eyebrows at me. “And I’m hoping to get Perry on my good side so he’ll introduce me properly to Arlie.”

I huff. “She is inhumanly good-looking.”

Lars turns his poking stick over in his hands. “I guess she is? Mostly, she looks like the type of woman who can handle herself and isn’t down for putting up with shit.” Then my best friend, who is the least romantic guy I’ve ever met, lets out a dreamy sigh. “I’d love to challenge her to target practice. I bet she’d kick my ass.”

Well, fuck. I guess everyone is in love with Arlie these days. “And that’s my cue to go.”

“Have fun,” he throws after me. “Wave your panties out the window so I know you’re done.”

I throw him both middle fingers.

Who would have thought having your best friend lusting after your mortal enemy would be enough to dissolve your doubts about hooking up with your almost murderer? My head echoes with an unhinged kind of laugh. What the hell have I gotten myself into?

I’m oddly nervous as I approach the cabin, and I have to remind myself for the billionth time that I’m not some fumbling virgin and this isn’t a big deal. It’s just sex. I’ve never gotten in my head over it before, and this is probably the worst time to start.

With a boost of confidence, I push through the door, expecting to find Perry waiting, but there’s no one in the living room. It’s not a big cabin, and other than here, the only other two places he could be are the bathroom or the bedroom. Judging by the light coming from under the bedroom door, I think I know which.

Given the day we’ve had, a shower wouldn’t be a bad idea, but other than jumping out of a window, I haven’t been through half of what Perry has, and I showered just before he got back from Lethal Poison. Unlike him, I’m not filling up the cabin with my man smell.

Which was way sexier than it had any right to be.

I push open the bedroom door to find Perry sprawled on one of the two single beds, towel wrapped around his hips and hands pressed to his face.

“Did you touch yourself? ”

At my voice, he immediately jolts upward. “No.” The way his voice strains confirms this was a very, very good decision. “And the stupid thing won’t go down.”

“I’m sure I can figure out a way to make it happen.”

“Quickly? Because I’m going to need you to do it quickly.”

Oof, he’s adorable. I hate it because it pulls at this part of me I didn’t know existed. I like a guy who can hold his own, but Perry somehow awakens a new, exciting side of me that loves the way he looks at me like he can’t physically look away. It messes with my head.

He stands up, and immediately, my attention slips to the way he’s tenting the front of that towel. I’m desperate to see what he’s hiding under there.

The unbridled want in his eyes shutters as he echoes the same craving right back to me. Perry crosses the room, and there’s no more hesitating as he cradles the back of my head and crushes our mouths together. His nerves are completely gone as he owns my mouth and roughly pushes his tongue inside, feeding me a groan of relief and need that sinks into my limbs and brings my own dick to life.

My hands find his hips as I tug him against me, bodies colliding, Perry kissing me like it might be the last time, and I’m scared he might be onto something. Neither of us knows what comes next, so I kiss him back just the same.

He tastes like mint and something I can’t name but is completely him. It makes my head buzzy and light as I run my hands up his smooth, broad back.

“How do you do this to me?” he mutters against my mouth as he scrambles for the buttons on my shirt.

“Just returning the favor.”

Perry shakes his head, slightly damp black hair jumping with the movement. “There’s no way. No way I’m making you like this. It’s not possible.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m reevaluating the importance of every other damn thing in my life. ”

The confession isn’t what I was expecting, but fuck if I don’t feel it too. It’s hard to work out if it’s the wild shift my life has taken or Perry in general bursting in and upending literally every-fucking-thing.

I bite down on his bottom lip, not able to hold back anymore. This driving need for him is deeper than I’ve ever felt, and I’m so caught up in it that when I grip his towel tighter and it comes loose, I revel at warm, bare skin meeting my hands instead.

“Love a man with easy access.”

“Lucky for you, then, because I’m all out of underwear.”

“What happened to the ones you were wearing last night?”

Perry groans and licks along the length of my mouth. “Dunno. Probably back at the apartment.”

Of course they are. He’s a fucking disaster, and maybe I should do some emotional soul-searching for why I find that so hot, but I don’t. I just let him pull my shirt from my shoulders and then resettle my hands on his firm glutes.

He moans into my throat, kissing a line down to where the dip of my shoulder starts, and I shamelessly palm the muscles under my hands. God, I want to bury my cock between them. He’s got the most fuckable ass, and the vibes I get from him give the impression he’s never made use of it. Testing out my theory, I dip my finger gently down the top of his crease.

Perry trembles against me. “Nmpff. That’s … different.”

“Just tell me to stop.”

“I’d rather tell you to get out of your fucking pants.” The needy lilt to his words is addictive.

“Make me.”

He’s not careful about it, and he doesn’t put on a show, which somehow makes his frantic, desperate tug of the button and zipper sexier than I could have imagined.

“Get … off …” Perry grunts before my pants slip down my legs and pool on the floor. Then he grips my boxer briefs and shoves them to the floor as well.

When he stands again, he’s biting the knuckles on his good hand, eyes locked on my cock. With some breathing room between us, I take a moment to finally get an eyeful of the body he’s kept hidden. Firm pecs, a hint of abs, then a thick, long cock pressing upward from full balls.

I’ve changed my mind. I need him in my mouth.

Before he can recover from seeing me naked, my mouth finds his. Perry matches my urgency, licking and nipping and gripping my hair with his good hand as I back him toward the bed. He’s hairier than me and broader, but my muscles are more defined, and where my cock is a bit smaller, it’s the perfect length for fucking.

Perry’s legs hit the bed behind him, and we both topple over onto it. Our chests press together, surging lust through me, and it’s not until Perry sucks an uncontrolled hiss through his teeth that I back off.

“You okay?”

He tries to tug me back to him. “Yeah, yeah … just caught my shoulder wrong … all good.”

I duck away from his lips. “Not all good. You were shot.”

“So were you.” His lopsided smile does something to me. “You didn’t complain about it.”

“I did. Frequently. Loudly.” I lick along one of those delicate collarbones. “I know how bad it is and how you need to be taken care of.” I move down to kiss his sternum. “Can I take care of you?”

Perry nods so fast it looks like he’s lost his voice, and when he finds it again, it’s become a dry rasp. “Yeah. Take care of me.”

Those big eyes of his do me in every time. “You’re such a golden fucking retriever,” I mutter, kissing along the trail of light hair between his abs. “I bet you’ve never had a mean thought in your life.”

“I’m having a lot of mean thoughts right now.”

“Oh yeah?” I grin evilly up at him, wondering what sort of mean thoughts someone like him would have. “Like what?”

“Like how badly I want to take your face and fuck it.”

Heat blasts alive in my gut, and because I can’t stop myself, I lean in and flick my tongue over his swollen head .

Perry chokes on a sound, dick kicking at the contact. “Again. Please do it again.”

“I thought you wanted to fuck my face.”

“I want literally anything that will get my cock in your mouth right now.”

“Then do it.”

With only the briefest hesitation, Perry reaches out to grip my hair. His teeth bury into his bottom lip as he guides my head so that the tip of his cock is resting on my lips.

“O-open,” he tries to demand, but it comes out more like he’s begging, and he has to know what it does for me.

I open my mouth and wrap my lips around him.

Perry’s grunt is feral, and I’m expecting him to shove inside, but his eyes are locked onto the view as he very slowly fills my mouth with his cock. “Such a pretty mouth,” he mutters. “I’m going to see this moment every time I close my eyes.”

His dick nudges the back of my throat, and he pauses before pulling me slowly off again. In and out, he slides past my lips, and I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this. Little bursts of precum spur me on, and I let him set the pace … for now. Because while he might need this, I’m fucking hungry for it. For him to lose his tenuous grip on control and take everything he needs from me. I need to feel the way his dick swells before he feeds me every last drop of his cum.

“So good,” he breathes before driving the pace faster. “You’ve had me so on edge. This isn’t going to last long.”

I know what he means. Kneeling the way I am has my cock hanging heavy and full between my legs, begging to be touched. I have half a mind to wrap my hand around it and get off, but I want to see just how much Perry wants out of this. Fucking my face is one thing; sucking off a guy is another. I’m curious how far his enthusiasm will extend.

Perry’s grip on my hair is tightening as he speeds up his thrusts, and I’ll bet he’s getting close. But as much as I want that, I’m not ready for it to end, so before he can get himself there, I let his cock fall from my mouth.

His eyes snap open. “Almost … there.”

“I know.” I lean down and run my wet tongue over his tight balls. He is so close, and this is mean as fuck, but I don’t even care.

Perry groans and parts his thighs wider. “What are you doing?”

“Making you feel good.”

“I’m okay with that.”

Is he though? We’ll see. I suck his balls into my mouth, which pulls a curse from him, before I dip my head lower. I lick and suck just behind his balls before going lower and lower again. Then I slip my tongue between his ass cheeks.

“Oh. Oh fuck.” The fingers of his good arm tangle in his hair while the other grips the sheets under us. “Did you just lick my ass?”

“I dunno.” I do it again. “Did I?”

“You did. You licked my ass.” His feet pull up to plant on the bed either side of me.

“Any objections?”

“Hard to say. It’s weird, but I want you to do it again.”

So I do. And the more I lick, the deeper Perry’s breathing gets. I press my face deeper, and then Perry does something that almost makes me blow my load; he draws his knees up to his chest.

With a groan, I pull his cheeks apart and bury my face between them. I’m not going to do more than tease him, but the way he’s so into this is doing things to me. The kind of things that have me slowly dragging my cock over the mattress to try and ease the way I’m aching for him.

I kiss and lick and suck all around his hole, sinking into how sexy the sounds he’s making are. How he’s panting. Squirming. I’m in fucking bliss as I work him up, and for the first time in days, everything else shuts out of my mind as I focus on him.

“I wanna come … I wanna come …”

Of course he does. I’ve been eating his hole for who knows how long now, and the fact he’s only just started begging shows he has more restraint than I thought.

“You forgot to say please. ”

Perry pounds his fist against the mattress. “Please. Please, please, please.”

I lean forward and swallow his cock. He thrusts uncontrollably as I swallow him down my throat, giving him all the room to use me that he needs. His precum is a salty tease, and every time his smooth tip passes over my tongue, I hum in pleasure. Perry is a fucking gift.

My hand slips back between his legs so I can gently stroke his hole. I play and suck, wanting to drive him out of his mind as easily as he’s driving me out of mine. Miles of muscle stretch out in view, and I want to wrap myself up in them.

“Ah, shit .”

His hips give a final buck as he floods my mouth with his cum. I swallow it all. Lap him clean. And when his dick slowly softens, I let it slip out of my mouth.

Perry’s exhale makes him sink into the bed.

“You good?” I check.

“The best.”

I crawl up his body, achingly hard, desperate for his mouth. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable or feel forced into anything, but I am curious how deep this attraction goes for him. Now he’s blown his load, will he still be into me?

“No chance you’d want to return the favor?” I ask, nuzzling against his jaw. “You can say no. Just looking at you is enough to get me off.” I wasn’t planning to say that last part, but for some reason, I’m scared of his response.

“You want me to suck your cock?”

“No. That sounds horrible. The worst.”

He laughs and pulls back a little so those big, dark eyes can study my face. “I think I want to do it.”

“Again, this is the sort of thing you need to be sure about.”

Perry taps my jaw with his knuckles. “And again, I’m never sure about anything. But I want to try.”

For a second, I contemplate telling him no, but his sincerity is one of those things I like most about him, and I can tell he means it. He wants to try, and if it’s not for him, I’m sure he’ll tell me. It’s more of that knowing him without knowing him connection I can feel between us. Some things don’t need to be said.

“No pressure from me,” I remind him.

“You worry too much.” He leans in, smiling lips against mine. “How should we do it?”

I reach down and stroke myself a few times, too excited by this to think clearly. It needs to be in a way that won’t hurt his shoulder. “Umm … maybe kneel beside the bed?”

His smile only widens as he jumps up and climbs off the bed, but before he can get on his knees, I stop him.

“Put this down first,” I say, dropping a pillow onto the floor. “It’ll stop it from hurting.”

“Now who’s being sweet?”

Perry sinks to his knees, and I position myself on the edge of the mattress. I think I’m more nervous than he is, and I’m holding my breath as he leans closer … closer … so close to my cock that he’s able to flick his tongue experimentally over my slit. It’s a stretch of torture, waiting to see his reaction.

“Wow,” he says after way too long. “I think I’m going to be good at this.”

Then he goes straight in for the deep throat.

The heat, the wetness, the suction—all followed by him gagging around me is a fucking dream. Perry’s strong jaw is stretched wide, and even with the setback, he doesn’t let it deter him. He’s almost overenthusiastic about getting me off, but it’s hard to tell because his eyes are closed, eyelashes fanning out over his cheeks, and he’s humming around me like my cock is the greatest thing he’s ever had in his mouth.

It’s too fucking much.

Perry is too fucking much.

I steady my hand on his head and thrust a little while Perry sucks and licks and fucking moans like his entire life is dependent on sucking dick the best that he can. And if it was, he’d survive.

Not me though.

Because he’s driving me out of my goddamn mind.

My head drops back toward the ceiling because I can’t look at him anymore. Can’t see his determination, can’t see how much he’s enjoying it. Everything from my balls to the head of my cock is overstimulated. I’m flushed, overheating in this cool room, wanting this to go on forever, but even as I have that thought, I flip from horny to there .

My dick swells with the pressure of my orgasm, and I barely manage to get out a warning of “I’m gonna come” before I do. Perry’s struggling to keep my dick in his mouth as he coughs and swallows and tries to drink my cum like I did with him.

I know I shouldn’t look, but I do.

His thick eyelashes are wet clumps, cheeks darker than usual, lips red and puffy with my cum dribbling out the corner of his mouth.

The high eases out of me, and Perry lets my dick go. We stare at each other, him kneeling, looking up, eyes bright and lips parted as he struggles to breathe.

“Did I do okay?”

My thumb finds the mess at the edge of his mouth, and I clean it off his skin. “Unfortunately, you did better than okay. How the hell do I ever recover from that?”

Pride lights up his face, and I’m hit with the feeling again.

How the fuck do I recover from Perry ?