Page 8

Story: Highland Secrets

Gwyn was unsure as to which offense the Laird Errol of the clan Chattan was so upset about or if it were all of them.

She worried it was to potentially raise another's bairn as his own, or that he was forced to marry against his will and wed someone who he had never known.

On the other hand, perhaps it was because her father insisted he could not consummate the marriage.

Even though there was no one present within her chamber, that thought caused a sudden burn on Gwyn's cheeks.

"It is obvious even if my father had not requested it, he would not wish to bed me."

As she stood in the fading light of the evening before her window, Gwyn gazed out over the upper bailey and the lands beyond it.

She knew the darkness would eventually come and with it would bring more sadness then she could have dreamed.

As she looked across the vast expanse of the Chattan, she had a foreboding thought enter her mind.

For a keep so large as was theirs, she was surprised at how quiet it was.

There appeared very few who resided within these great walls.

She also had to wonder where all the children were hiding.

She had yet to see any within the bailey or the gathering hall below.

Memories flashed through her mind of her own home of the MacLaren and the constant noise and clamor that continually echoed off the stone walls of the keep.

Back home there was always so much commotion and life.

Or at least there had been before the most recent devastating times.

"Home."

How she missed all that was familiar already. This place around her seemed so cold.

"Would it always be like this? Will I ever be able to find the peace I crave or ever feel a sense of belonging?"

As she drew her breath in fully she conceded she could not expect everyone to come to her to make her stay easier.

Perhaps they were all waiting for her to make the effort.

As she felt the heaviness of all she now knew within her heart, she proclaimed to herself this overpowering sense of self-pity must stop.

"This is now my home."

She alone had control over herself and her emotions and ultimately, her life. She could not go on with these thoughts of gloom because it was certain to break her.

As Gwyn stood before the window promising herself of all of her new found resolve, she thought she heard what she deemed to be the outer hallway door of the neighboring chamber close heavily.

She could only assume it was the one to her husband's rooms simply because it was in that direction the noise had come.

As she moved her gaze to the door separating her chamber from that of her laird's, she knew it must be she who reached out to him and show him a kindness.

"Perhaps, I will even apologize for my presence. How could he be anything but angry with me when he truly does not understand the entirety of the situation?"

While she knew she could never disclose anything to him of her secrets, she at least could comprehend his reaction and provide the understanding he deserved.

Whatever it was her father had done for the Laird Errol those many years ago, the laird of the Chattan had expressed the marriage to her was an exceedingly high price to pay.

Gwyn was determined she must do all in her power to make things right.

Or at least attempt to forage a friendship that would make their union amicable.

She knew she owed her husband at least this much and to at least try to seek out those ends.

"I will go to you my laird, because it is my duty to see you happy and discover I am not so much of a burden. I will do all I can to please you, I promise you this."

With the new resolution upon her mind, Gwyn moved her hands to absently brush over her full skirts in an attempt to smooth the fabric.

She had already had the opportunity to change her gown and this fresh one she deemed as rather pleasant.

As she looked at her reflection within the metal plate hanging upon the wall, she was now very hopeful he would at least approve of her presence.

Slowly, she moved across the floor and listened intently at the door. Almost immediately she determined it was simply too thick to emit much of anything through it. With a nervous hand, she reached forward and grasped the latch. She pulled on the heavy door to make her presence known.

As the door swung wide, she opened her mouth to send a pleasant greeting to the man who was now her husband. Before the words could come from her lips, her throat constricted tightly at what she saw before her.

He was in the bed and naked from the waist up.

And he was not alone. The Laird Chattan had his back to her and while his plaid still covered his legs, his shirt had been removed.

The woman who had graced his side from the moment she had arrived in the bailey lay on the bed below him.

Her head was upon the pillow and her eyes closed, but she clearly was unclothed.

For the briefest of moments, Gwyn stood in the entryway of her husband's chamber and watched as he hungrily kneaded her breast and kissed the woman's neck deeply. As the fear for what she had discovered rose painfully within her mind, she could hear heated moans coming from both of them.

Gwyn felt nauseous and the anguish emanating from the very depths of her soul was excruciating. This was her husband and the one she was now bound to for the remainder of her life. Gone was now any hope for a tolerable existence or a happy home.

Gwyn knew she must exit before either had the chance to know she was there.

Quickly, yet as quietly as she could, Gwyn pulled back upon the handle and closed the door silently.

When the heavy barrier had been returned to its rightful place, Gwyn slowly retreated backwards.

Her eyes would not leave the darkened wood nor could the vision of her new husband and the woman within the bed ever be purged from her mind.

The tears were instant and scalded her cheeks as they flowed heavily downwards.

"What am I to do now?"

While she had not yet even turned fifteen summers and had thought she was far from naive, she understood there was still much to learn of this world.

It was now obvious her life would be far from anything she had ever deemed possible.

Never in her mind had she pictured the confusing reality that was just shown to her.

As the breath hitched within her throat, Gwyn moved quickly over to the bed and laid herself out upon its cover.

Desperately she pulled a pillow to her face to muffle her cries as the sobs wracked her body.

More than anything, she was fearful the laird would hear her and see her in this wretched state.

She was certain if he discovered her, he would know that she understood the reality of her place in his home.

"Perhaps you do not care."

But Gwyn did. And she vowed the laird of the Chattan would never understand the depth of her pain and the reality of her loneliness that she now knew to be hers.